A/N: Before you read this chapter, be warned. Some of you are going to get REALLY angry by the time you finish reading- but please, hang in there! I promise this story is NOT and WILL NOT be New Moon all over again. A happy ending is coming, I promise! And for those of you who aren't about to get mad at me, tissues may be in order here.

EPOV

As I ran, I was assaulted by the memory of Alice's vision. What had been a few seconds of agony before- playing at vampire speed in Alice's mind- now stretched out in real time. And now, without Jasper to help me, the horror of watching Bella die was even more painful. I was running blindly now, faster and faster as I tried to escape the image. I lost my way in the woods more than once, and I finally stumbled and fell, the weight of Alice's vision pinning me to the earth. But I somehow forced myself back up onto my hands, steeling myself against the pain. I couldn't afford to let it take me right now. I only had an hour with Bella, two at the most. I wasn't going to waste that precious time curled up in a ball in the dirt!

I just had to think about something else. If I could just distract myself, then I could get up and make my legs work again. I closed my eyes and forced my thoughts back two weeks, to the day when I had played my newest composition for her- the one about her and Alice's friendship. And that same night, when I had snuck her out of her own window and we had watched the stars. Bella had been so carefree that day- even though she had still had the cast, her leg had stopped aching, and I had finally begun to forgive myself for my part in her encounter with James.

I had been carefree that day, too. I smiled, remembered the laughter that Bella and Alice had shared, and how happy it had made me to see my favorite sister and my love have so much fun together. And I remembered my contentment that night, as I had held Bella close to me in her backyard, whispering the names of the constellations in her ear as she sipped the hot cocoa I had brought. She had looked so beautiful in the starlight, and so content.

My heart was finally light enough for me to stand and continue running. I played that day over and over in my mind, in order to keep myself moving. Had that really only been two weeks ago? So much had happened since then. The burns, Charlie's suspicions, the wolves, Jacob- and yet, with each challenge, my love for Bella had only grown. Each time I feared for her life, or our future, she became even more precious in my eyes. And her resilience over the past two weeks had made me admire her more, as well. I had learned more about Bella, and about how strong she truly was. And how intelligent, and creative, and adaptable, and beautiful with wet hair in the sunlight; my feet got an extra burst of speed as my love expanded yet again.

But now, we faced a new challenge- one more difficult, and more uncertain, than any of the others. Bella and I would have to be separated, and I wouldn't even be able to tell her how long that separation would need to be. I supposed we would have to play it by ear, keeping an eye on the public response to our disappearance. Bella would need to be watching Charlie carefully, feeling him out to see when it might be safe for her to disappear.

I needed to keep my head. We could do this. The love that we shared could survive a long-distance relationship. A niggling doubt scratched around in the back of my mind- Jacob Black- but there was little I could do about that, other than leave Bella with one last warning about the danger. I needed to accept that they were friends. And the fact that Bella was going to disappear from Alice's visions could only mean that she would go to her friend for comfort in my absence. I hated the thought of that, of him comforting her in any way. But again, I needed to accept it. Werewolf or not, Jacob was the only friend that Bella could really turn to. He would be the only one who could possibly understand. He was the only one who was going to know the truth.

I needed to fine-tune the new cover story as I ran. Yes, only Jacob would know the truth, because everyone else would either believe Charlie's suspicions, or the story that I was going to have Bella give out. She would tell everyone that we had had a horrible fight, and that my family had moved in order to get me away from her. They had been planning to move soon anyway- Carlisle had been sending out his resume, looking for research opportunities- but my fight with Bella had accelerated our plans. What should we make the fight about? Or maybe that scenario wasn't believable enough. Maybe I should have the family move cause the fight. Or maybe it didn't need to be a fight at all- I hated the thought of her having to tell her friends that. Maybe we had to move suddenly- Carlisle had landed a lucrative research position which started next week- and I had reluctantly broken up with Bella, because my parents said I had to. They wanted me to move on, and not suffer. We were only seventeen, after all.

Yes, this story was the best so far. Bella's tears would naturally be mistaken for sadness over the breakup. Her human friends would be there for her, and she wouldn't have to hide her grief. There would also be less in the way of lying, and that would make it easier on her, while she waited to join me. A new idea formed in my mind- I would ask her to keep away from the wolves as much as possible, so that Alice would be able to keep an eye on her future. I wouldn't make it a demand- I knew how she tended to respond to those. But if I worded my "request" as the one favor that she could grant me in this trying time, no doubt she would be more likely to honor it. Selflessness was Bella's creed. I hated to use that to my advantage, but it was important to keep Alice's visions clear. It would be especially important later on, when we began to plan our reunion.

Satisfied with the new plan, I broke into an all-out sprint, eager to be with Bella as soon as possible. I hated to break the news to her, but it had to be done as quickly as possible. I would have her pretend to stay asleep the rest of the night, so she could avoid Charlie. And then, tomorrow, after his plans had been foiled, then she could tearfully tell him about the breakup and the move. She would conveniently have forgotten where we were moving to, and the name of Carlisle's new employer. He would be skeptical, but there would be little he could do. Alice had already ensured that leaving Bella behind would have the least repercussions in terms of law enforcement. Our name would stay on a list on some state trooper's desk for a while, but the case would never actually be looked into.

As I neared Bella's house, I wondered how long it would take for Charlie to cool off. Would we be able to reunite after she graduated, as Carlisle had hoped? Would we free of the Volturi's shadow? It was so ironic that the true danger- from the vampire world- might actually be caused by a human's suspicion. I was close enough now to hear Charlie's thoughts. I didn't need Jasper to see how furious he was, and as usual, his rage was twisting his thoughts into an unreadable jumble. I paused, less than a mile away, and watched his mind for a moment. It was important that I learn as much as possible.

He was running through all the things he had learned about us today. I couldn't make sense of his thoughts themselves, but I was able to watch the images as he recalled them. I saw now how our cover had been blown- he was remembering the websites he had gone on, and the phone calls with which he discovered the identity fraud. I hissed in anger when I saw the photo he had found online- Alice and I, back in 1980. How had Jasper missed this? He was always combing the internet, hacking whatever he needed to, erasing things like this. But now I saw that the picture had only been scanned and posted two days ago. Jasper usually did his internet checks on Sundays.

I shook my head, cursing Fate yet again. I had thought her cruel back when I had been so drawn to Bella, in the beginning. I had raged at the universe, asking why Fate had put such a temptation in my path. And later, once Bella and I had declared our love, I had cursed Fate again for the ethereal nature of our happiness. Why couldn't I just be human, and live a normal life with her?

Now I cursed Fate for all the darts she had thrown at us in the past two weeks. No doubt this photo was the reason that the Volturi had become a part of Alice's visions- our disappearance, combined with either Charlie's murder or Bella's "kidnapping", would grow into an enchanting story about immortality, driven by the media's speculation about the photo. It must be why the case had risen to international attention- the speculations about the supernatural would give the case a romantic edge- just enough for the Volturi to decide it was time to intervene.

My body shook as the vision hit me again. Bella, being torn apart by the Volturi guard. Burned. Somewhere, on the edges of the picture, I saw myself and my family already dead. Bella's pieces were easily tossed into the fire that was already consuming the rest of us. But none of that mattered. Bella was the only part of the vision that mattered. Bella, finally a vampire, dying within a few short days of receiving the "immortality" she had been begging me for. The irony was sickening.

After Carlisle had laid down his ultimatum the other day, a part of me had been secretly relieved. Oh, I was still determined to stop him, to convince Bella to deny his offer. But part of me understood that I would fail eventually, and an even smaller part of me rejoiced. I would get Bella forever, after all! It would be even better than I had hoped. New possibilities had arisen, and though I tried to beat them down, the back of my brain had been exploding with hopeful images. Bella and I, running and sparkling through a forest. Never worrying about Bella's fragility again. Kissing her the way I wanted to. Our wedding day, and the night that would follow. Creating a home together, exploring the world together!

Now all I felt was disgust, at myself. Yes, those things might still happen someday. But how could I have let myself be so selfish? How could I have rejoiced at the thought of Bella's soul being destroyed? The truth was that I had finally allowed myself to forget all the reasons why I had never wanted Bella to be changed. The soul issue. The thirst. The temptation, the danger of slipping with humans. The loss of her family. The inability to have a normal, human life. The life in the shadows. The inability to have children. The inability to grow. I had purposely chosen to forget all these things, just because I wanted to keep her! Why?!

As I approached Bella's house, the answer came to me. It was because of the way my love for her had grown in the last two weeks. My heart had expanded so much, the love becoming so impossibly huge, that it had begun to destroy my reason. I had finally managed to stop looking after Bella's best interest, greedily hoping to satisfy my own. I finally loved her too much.

I paused under the edge of the forest, climbing up a tree to peek into Bella's room. She lay still in her bed, still sleeping off our day at the beach. Even from where I was, I could see the fading burns that I had caused. I could see the bruises that Jacob had left- which had been because of me, of course. I could see the scar left by James' teeth on her wrist- thankfully, Charlie had always assumed it was from the broken glass in Phoenix. I could see the difference in girth between her two legs, due to the extended time in the cast.

Bella was covered with reminders of her interaction with the supernatural world. No wonder Charlie had finally come to his senses and decided to investigate us. And now, on her face, a new bruise was blossoming around her nose. This one was from the volleyball earlier today- though no doubt Charlie would be happy to attribute this new injury- and the one left by Jacob- to me. Why wouldn't he?

All these injuries- except the face- had been because of my involvement in Bella's life. But these were nothing compared with the danger I had almost put her in tonight. When Carlisle had insisted that we change Bella immediately, my heart had leapt with hope, even as I protested his plan. Again, my love had grown so huge that I was willing to let my father overrule me and give me what I secretly wanted, even though I knew it was wrong.

Thank God for Alice. If her vision hadn't stopped me in my tracks, Bella would be dying in just a few short days. Because of me.

But I hadn't stopped there. When Jasper had suggested murdering Charlie, my hope had rekindled. I was actually going to let him do it! Again, Alice's vision stopped me. But if it hadn't, I would have let Bella's father die, just so I could have her. Now that my head was clearer, I recoiled in shock at what I had almost done. Had my love really grown so powerful, that I would do something so hideous? That I would hurt Bella that deeply?

Yes, it had.

Jasper's plan wouldn't have worked anyway. Even if the wolves didn't suspect him, they would have used Charlie's death to end the treaty anyway. And Bella- what would she have thought? How could she possibly love me after I had agreed to her own father's murder? Would I have hidden the truth from her, just in order to keep her?

I might. I just might. By agreeing to Jasper's plan, I had demonstrated that I had totally ceased to care about anything except keeping Bella. My mind-blowing love for her had twisted me into the most selfish creature imaginable. My mind whisked over my behavior in the past two weeks. I had injured her, and then done everything possible to hide those injuries from her father. I had used Bella to spy on the werewolves, and then turned around and forbidden her to see the one friend she had actually made this year. When she had gone behind my back and did it anyway, I simply began thinking up new "creative" ways to control her movements. When my father had put his foot down and overruled me regarding Bella's humanity, a part of me had actually been happy. Happy! And just today, I had been willing to commit a much darker sin, as my love shifted into desperation. I had been willing not only to destroy Bella's soul, but also to murder her father in order to achieve that goal.

Was this even love anymore?

I knew that I was obsessed with Bella. First it had only been her scent, but now it was everything. I watched her every second that I was with her, and I ached every second I was away from her. And since my love had been at least as strong as my obsession, I had never thought to question it. But now? Now I saw what my love had turned into- what it had been turning into all along. My presence in Bella's life was an ever-lengthening shadow of obsession and control. What had happened to that voice of reason, back in January? I had sworn to stay out of Bella's life, knowing what a stain my presence was. What a danger it was. Then in March, I had sworn a new oath: to stay in her life, but to leave her human.

What had happened to those promises? How had I gone from loving her from afar- a decision I had made for her own good- to seeing her now, covered in injuries? How had we gotten to the place where Bella herself had asked me yesterday to give her a little space just so her father wouldn't get more suspicious?

And I wasn't even through hurting her! Now I was going to ask her to wait for me. I was going to leave the country, and give her a vague promise that we would be together again someday. And hopefully, when that day came, I wouldn't get her killed by the Volturi. Hopefully I wouldn't turn around and kill her father anyway, when I couldn't stand to wait. When the obsession grew even large enough, crowding out what used to be a pure love. And in the meantime, I would guilt her into waiting for me. And if that wasn't enough, I was also planning to guilt her into staying away from Jacob just so Alice's visions would get cleaned up. I would press Jasper's phone into her hands, hypnotizing her with my eyes, silently rejoicing that I had a way to keep tabs on her.

I suppose I could still call it love. There was no denying what Bella and I felt for each other. I couldn't deny that my joy was reflected in her eyes. But every time our future had been threatened, my depravity had grown, along with my love. And later- if everything worked out, and Bella came to join us, what would become of that love? If I changed Bella, and married her, I could only imagine the explosive growth of love and obsession that would take place. Would I be just as obsessed, after I truly had her? Without her human fragility, would I just find new excuses to "protect" her? Would she be able to have any sort of life apart from me? Did I even want her to?

I leapt silently onto the house, gripping the siding and slipping in through Bella's window. I knelt beside her bed, watching her sleep. So precious. So beautiful. So peaceful- she couldn't possibly expect the things I was about to say to her.

I stood up, frowning. What was I going to say to her?

I felt the weight of Jasper's phone in my pocket, and I took it out. Would I give Bella this token, holding her to at least a year of waiting and hoping? Would she hold out for me, joyfully coming to meet me when the time was right?

Of course she would.

And that was exactly why I had to let her go.

I had to set her free. It was the only gift I had left to give to her. I was dangerously close to the brink of loving her too much, and crushing her with that love, as I had feared before. And I would have already tumbled off the edge, if Alice's visions hadn't stopped me. If I didn't let her go now, I would never be able to do it.

My own phone buzzed in my pocket- Alice, no doubt. I quietly took it out and answered in a whisper.

"Edward, stop! This is wrong!"

My face fell. It appeared I had made my decision, then. So be it. The pain tore down through the center of my chest, and I whispered back to Alice- I couldn't have spoken aloud, at any rate.

"Alice, if you don't have something useful to say- and by useful I mean a vision- then leave me alone. I'm trying to think."

"You know what Carlisle says about you thinking too much! Now give her the phone and get out of there before you do something stupid!"

I hung up on her, putting the phone back in my pocket.

Ah, Carlisle. He was always chiding me for my tragic fatalism. Well, this time it wasn't my fault. Fate had left me with hardly anything to work with, and my desperate response had finally brought me to my senses. Leaving Bella- truly leaving her- was the only moral act I could manage anymore. This was so wrong, so wrong to do- but only in the sense that I hadn't done it back when I should have. Could I actually do it, though?

I could. It would tear me apart, and Bella's heart would be broken, but I could do it. I had to do it, for her. After she was done mourning me, and she realized how suffocating my presence had been, she would be happy. I wanted her to be free of us. Of me. The pain tore deeper into my chest, and somewhere in my mind, I registered the snapping sound as Jasper's phone broke in my hands. I took a deep, ragged breath and looked down at Bella, silently begging her forgiveness for what I was about to do.

I didn't have time to do this right. If I had more time- a few days, perhaps, then I could work myself up to a real performance. I could try to convince her that I didn't love her- just like my plan that I had tried to form early this morning, while Bella was sleeping. I could work up enough control to wear a mask, and pretend that I had actually tired of her, that I didn't want her to come with us, or to wait for me.

But it wouldn't work. I couldn't see my own face right now, but there was no way I was going to be able to hide my agony from Bella. I simply didn't have the time or the energy to develop the performance. I was wasting time, even now. So, instead, I would wake her up and tell her the truth… mostly. I would tell her why we had to leave. I would tell her why I couldn't stay behind. I would tell her why we couldn't take her with us. The only thing I needed to lie about was this: I would tell her that there was no hope for us. I would tell her that every possibility- including reuniting at a later time- would result in the Volturi executing everyone. It wasn't that far from the truth, actually. We had no way of knowing- at least for now- when and if we would be able to safely find each other. She really might be waiting for years. She really might put her life on hold for that long, clinging to a silver phone as her lifeline. And then, when she finally escaped her human life and joined me, she would find that my love was even more suffocating than before. I knew that the longer I waited, the more crazed I would become.

For one cowardly moment, I considered leaving her asleep. Writing all this in note, so that she couldn't distract me from my mission- so I wouldn't have to watch her heart break in my hands.

No.

If I was going to do this to her, I would do it honorably. And the thought of not seeing her eyes one more time threatened to break my will all over again. You wouldn't see them after today, anyway, I thought grimly, and another wave of pain tore into my chest. I was leaving her tonight no matter what- I truly had no choice about that. Setting her free was the only way to make this action have any sort of honor.

My decision would stand, then. I was hanging off the cliff again, staring up at Bella's angelic face in desperation. Finding no purchase, my hands scrambled and slipped down the side of the cliff, and I tumbled into darkness.