EPOV

With each step I took away from Bella's house, the pain grew. I had intended to stay with her for longer, but when she had hopefully suggested the Florida solution, I had been nearly undone. Florida! Not an ideal solution, but it was better than anything my family and I had come up with. She would only have to wait the rest of the summer, and then convince Charlie that she wanted to be back with her mother. I would have been able to see her again in less than six weeks. It had taken most of my willpower to lie to her then, to tell her that it wouldn't work.

And then, near the end when I had finally allowed myself to hold her- that had been the end of my strength. I had finally wept with her, my arms quivering with tension as I forced myself to remain gentle, and not crush her spine with the force of my sorrow. The thought that I had almost hurt her was enough to keep me sane, and what had finally helped me to release her. At that moment, I knew I only had seconds left before I broke down and admitted my lie. I knew that if I stayed even a minute longer, I would fall to my knees and beg her forgiveness, beg her to go ahead with the Florida plan. I would give her the promise of seeing her again soon.

But I had done it. I had said my goodbye, and I had propelled myself backwards out of her window while her eyes were still closed, knowing that I couldn't look into her eyes again without breaking down. I had hit the ground running, and as I ran, the fire in my chest grew until it was white hot, carving an empty space where Bella had been. I ran faster, my fevered mind thinking that it would put out the flames. But the opposite was true. The farther I got from her, the hotter the fire burned.

I was running blindly now, and I slammed face-first into a tree, splintering it with a resounding crack. I lay like a dead man where I fell, unable to move again. I don't know how long I laid there, curiously watching the insects as they went about their evening scurry. How odd to think that they were able to go about their little lives, when I had just turned my own inside out. Didn't they know? Didn't they care that I would never see Bella again?

As I thought her name, I closed my eyes in grief as the words I had spoken echoed in my ears. This has to be the end. I wouldn't have eternity with my love. I wouldn't have the seventy years that I had finally dared to hope for. I wouldn't even have the four years that I had, up until last week, been arrogantly expecting. I had nothing.

I gasped as the next realization hit me. I didn't even have the plan that had been comforting me all along! Back when I expected her to tire of me after a few years, I had always known that I wouldn't truly leave her; I was always going to stay in the shadows, watching her and protecting her for the rest of her life. Now I couldn't even do that! If I attempted to stay anywhere near Forks, I would be torn limb from limb. A growl rumbled in my chest, and not for the first time, I wished that we had destroyed the wolves back in 1936. The treaty had been a complete concession on our side; we only did it because we didn't feel like moving again so soon. It certainly wasn't for our protection. We could have killed the whole pack back then easily.

And by the time Carlisle had negotiated the new treaty expiration on Monday, I had convinced myself that Bella might, just possibly, have it within her to love me for longer than I had previously thought. And so the new treaty parameters didn't really concern me; what did it matter if I couldn't stay near Forks, if Bella and I would be together?

But now, things had changed. We wouldn't be together. And we shouldn't be, I thought grimly. I had to remember that I had done this for her. That it was good that this had happened, so that Bella would be able to live a life free of my interference. Fate had given me the chance to only give Bella the slightest lie; God knows I never would have been able to manage more than that.

I held my head in my hands, reminding myself of all the reasons that I needed to stay out of Bella's life forever. The danger to her life. The protection of her soul. The malignant nature of my love. The power of my obsession.

Of course, it might be possible to find Bella again, in a few years. I doubted that she would stay near Forks forever. I might be able to follow through on that plan of loving her from afar… but as quickly as that spark of hope arose, I snuffed it out. Who was I kidding? I would never be able to love Bella from afar. How had I ever thought that it would be possible? There were a thousand scenarios that would "require" me to reveal myself- and I would no doubt take the first one that presented itself. No, I knew how weak I was now. The only way to keep myself out of Bella's life was to stay away from it. I could never allow myself to see her again.

I roared in pain as this last hope left me, and the forest echoed with the sound of my anguish.

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I had no intention of ever standing up again. Why bother? The wolves would find me eventually, and that would be that. There was really no point in delaying it, anymore. I could only hope that Jacob wouldn't be cruel enough to tell Bella what had happened.

But fate intervened again, and my pocket buzzed. I numbly took the phone out and stared at it in confusion. What did the buzzing mean, again? On the frayed edges of my sanity, I recalled that I should open the phone. I did so, and my fingers automatically opened the text that had just arrived.

It's getting late, and Jasper wants to disable the phone plans. I'm sorry for the rush, but I need you home.

My mind cleared. This was my father, Carlisle. No doubt Alice had already told everyone what I had done- but that didn't matter. I reluctantly stood and began running for home; my depression would have to wait. My family needed me.

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When I arrived, it was obvious that my family knew what had happened with Bella, but that they were too busy to do much about it. Everyone was busy with their preparations for our departure; it was much like the times we had had to evacuate after one of Emmett's or Jasper's accidents. The goal in these situations was to leave behind a normal human home, complete with furniture and food, but with every personal touch erased. We had done it before, though it had been several years. Experience, and Alice's visions, had taught us that it was best to do this. The less evidence there was, the more quickly the Police would lose interest.

While I had been gone, Jasper had been erasing all web-based evidence of our residence in Forks. We might not have time to erase our paper trail like we usually did, but that wouldn't be a problem; both the school and the hospital had recently switched over to electronic records. The only hard evidence of our existence would be our tax records in the town hall, and there was really no point in confiscating those.

Alice and Jasper were sitting on the couch like twin statues. Jasper was fine-tuning the travel plan, using rapid-fire decisions and Alice's gift to solidify our route. Rosalie was out in the garage, collecting our personal items from all of the vehicles and adding them to the fire that she had built in the backyard. Emmett had hauled The Phone, all the extra computers and any other personalized electronics outside and was destroying them, scattering the bits throughout the woods behind our house. Esme was upstairs, packing all of our backpacks with the few items we would take with us: Jasper's master laptop, Carlisle's basic med kit, currency for several different countries, a new set of cell phones waiting to be activated, extra clothes and shoes, her cookbook, and the family photos that we always brought along. I saw through her eyes that she had divided my and Carlisle's journals throughout the backpacks, and she had also packed my human's mother's jewelry box. I had left many of my family's heirlooms back in the house in Chicago, but I always liked to keep my mother's jewels close at hand.

Emmett held out one of his hands as I passed by him, and I reluctantly handed him my phone, which he promptly smashed into smithereens, holding his hand out again with a frown. He knew, then, that I hadn't given Jasper's phone to Bella. I met his disapproving gaze as I dug the remains of Jasper's phone out of my other pocket, and tossed them onto the pile of electronic garbage.

I continued into the house, to find Carlisle talking on the house phone. He had called the hospital to announce his sudden departure, his words a mixture of apology and excitement regarding the research position he would begin in Philadelphia next week. As he saw me enter the room, his eyes bored into mine in anger, but they softened immediately as he took in my haggard appearance.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked lifelessly.

Carlisle didn't miss a beat as he continued his phone conversation, mentally giving me instructions. Your main task is to go through our paper files. Give Esme anything we might want to keep and add everything else to the fire. After that I want you and Esme to head to one of the smaller grocers and get some perishable food to leave behind- Alice saw that our picnic leftovers aren't going to be convincing enough.

I nodded and flew up the stairs, heading into Carlisle's study and tearing the lock off of the nearest file cabinet. I began flipping through his papers at vampire speed, separating everything into "keep" and "destroy" piles. As I did so, I peeked in on Alice's mind, learning that the plan would be for her and Jasper to reunite with us in Northern Mongolia in eight days. Once we had the new identities, we would continue down into Siberia, and begin our new life. Alice was disappointed at our destination, but she had a rough estimate that we would be able to move down into one of the Russian towns after a couple of years.

In every vision I was with my family, and I was surprised at this. It wasn't that I was suicidal; it was just that I couldn't imagine doing anything after this. I had only come home tonight to help; I wouldn't abandon my family in their need. I supposed I would come with them, at least until they were settled in Siberia. But I wasn't going to commit to anything after that. I was back where I had been before: the single vampire, among a family of three happily married couples. It had been bearable before, though I had struggled occasionally with my loneliness. But now? Could I go back to being alone among them, seeing their love all around me, their happiness unintentionally mocking my loss? Worse, could I stand to be around Jasper, his gift screaming everyone's love and pity twenty-four hours a day?

I shuddered, and Alice broke out of her trance to mentally scold me. Cut it out, Edward! This is complicated enough without you screwing with the future. I'm mad at you as it is. I can't fathom why you would do that to her! To yourself! Ugh! Thinking Bella's name made her automatically check Bella's future, and I steeled myself for the image that I would no doubt see: Bella, weeping.

But there was nothing; just blackness.

I dropped the papers and flew downstairs. "What is that?" I demanded.

Alice jumped defensively, and then frowned up at me. "You've seen it before. Werewolf, no doubt."

Rosalie appeared in the living room. "What's this about werewolves?" she asked angrily.

"Nothing," Alice growled, throwing me another dirty look. "Bella's future just disappeared. Since I didn't see anything bad happen, it's probably just a werewolf." She closed her eyes again, turning back to Jasper, who wanted to see if it was safe to use the new cell phones to call Jenks with our order, versus waiting until he and Alice would be down in Seattle tomorrow.

"Well, that didn't take long," Rosalie said sarcastically. I spun around, trying to hold back the growl that was threatening to erupt; Carlisle was still on the phone. Really, Edward, what did you expect? She's obviously decided to go see her favorite mutt. She needs a friend right now, after what you did to her! And who else could she talk to about it? Not that HE'LL mind…

My fist connected with her face before I could stop myself, and she flew backwards into the living room wall, smashing one side of the door frame like a toothpick. Carlisle hung up the phone and flew to my side along with Jasper, ready to tackle me for the second time today, if necessary. But I just sank quietly to the floor, muttering my apology to Rosalie as I grabbed my head in my hands. I felt like my brain was going to explode. Just the thought of Bella already going over to see that mangy-

No. No. This was exactly the kind of thing I couldn't do.

This was what I had chosen. This was what was best- Bella's life without me in it. If that meant she needed to find her solace in the dog, then so be it. Even if it meant that the two of them might-

A string of profanity sounded from the doorway. I looked up to see Emmett flying toward me, his eyes black and his teeth bared. I can't believe you just did that! By the time Carlisle finds all the pieces... I closed my eyes, not really caring what he did to me.

"Stop, Emmett," Rosalie sighed as she extricated herself from the mangled wall.

"We don't have time for this," Carlisle sighed, looking at me sharply. "Edward, get back to work upstairs. Emmett, get back to work outside."

"Rosalie, I'm sorry," I murmured, ashamed. I had lived one hundred and four years and I had never hit a woman before. What was happening to me? I flew back upstairs, avoiding Carlisle's questioning thoughts. I buried myself in the paperwork, moving faster and faster through the second cabinet, the third. We had over eleven years of paper records saved up; it had been that long since we had been forced to move suddenly like this. The last time had been because Jasper had had an accident. I supposed this time it was my fault, but I didn't have the energy left to feel guilty about it.

I was mostly sorry for Alice and Rosalie; they hated it when we had to move away from civilization like this. Jasper would be sad for Alice, but happy for himself. We wouldn't be doing the school charade anytime soon, and he would have a break from the torment of his classmates' blood. It looked like Carlisle would find some medical work to do- it would be fine as long as he dyed his hair- but Alice had already seen that the rest of us would need to lay low for at least a couple of years. There was no evidence in her visions that our pictures would be circulated, at this point, beyond the United States; but she had seen an inquiry beginning out of Siberia if we were to all appear at once on the public scene there.

I was disappointed when I had finished with the paperwork so quickly. I was trying, for Alice's sake, to keep myself from thinking, or making any decisions about my future. This would be more difficult, now that I was done sorting through the files. I gathered up the "keep" pile and carried it to my parents' room, where Esme was still working on the backpacks. She had taken all the family pictures down from the walls, and was taking the photos out of the frames, rolling them all together into a scroll for easy carrying.

"We don't need to take most of them," I pointed out. "Jasper already saved all of our scanned images to one of the flash drives."

Esme smiled sadly. "I know. But I like to keep the originals. And besides, who knows when we'll be able to do all that again?" She slid a rubber band around the scroll and quickly started with the next pile of pictures. On the top was one of those dollar picture strips from the mall- the kind where you sit in the photo booth and get three pictures printed right away. Emmett and Rosalie were smiling in the first picture, kissing in the second, and making silly faces in the third. I smiled to myself- Esme wanted to keep every little picture that any of us had ever taken.

Suddenly another realization hit me, and Esme had her arms around me as soon as she saw my stricken face. "I don't have any. Not one," I murmured into her shoulder. "I don't have any pictures of Bella." How could this happen? How had it never occurred to me to take a picture of her?

Esme sighed and held me tighter. "I'm sorry, Edward," she sighed, rubbing my back with one of her hands. "I know you did what you thought was right." I could tell she was struggling to control her thoughts; she hadn't approved of my decision, either.

"Carlisle wants us to go buy some more food," I said quickly, pulling away. "I'll be outside when you're ready." She nodded and I went back to the mountain of papers in my "destroy" pile. I had only decided to keep less than two percent of our records; most of the important ones had already been scanned onto the flash drives. I scooped up two armfuls of papers and headed downstairs and out to the fire.

Emmett was still angry with me for hitting Rosalie, and I sighed as I dumped my load into the fire, which was next to his pile of electronics. "I'm sorry," I said again. "I don't know what came over me."

"Well, I do," he growled, kicking some of the stray papers back into the fire. "You've finally lost your mind. Not that I'm surprised," he muttered as he scooped up another pile of electronic bits into a shovel and headed out into the woods to bury it.

Esme came out, purse in hand, looking just like a cheerful housewife headed to the grocery store. "I'm ready," she called, and I headed toward the garage with her. Let me drive, Edward. You're a little distracted. I nodded and tossed her the keys.

We were backing out of the driveway when Carlisle appeared in the partially-smashed doorway. "Take Emmett with you," he said softly. "I don't think the wolves will try anything before midnight, but it's better to be safe than sorry." I don't want Esme going out at all, but she's the only one who knows what to buy to make a convincing scene in the refrigerator. Make sure she hurries, Edward- but don't let her look like she's hurrying. And remember to divide your purchases between at least two stores.

Emmett came out of the woods, yanked open the back door and settled into a menacing pose in the back seat. "I wish they would try something", he said scathingly, clenching and unclenching his fists with the unused energy. "I'd still be tearing you into pieces right now if we weren't on such a tight schedule."

"I'm sure you would."

"Boys," Esme warned, and we fell silent. Emmett, of course, was free to continue his mental tirade without Esme knowing. Wasn't I just telling you THIS WEEK what an idiot you were being to let this continue? If you had just freaking changed her the first ten times she asked for it, none of this would have happened. We could have faked her death, and that would have been that! But nooo, you had to drag it out with your theological crap and your self-righteous, fatalistic-

"You've made your point," I mouthed, knowing he was watching me in the side mirror. Emmett didn't need to beat me to a pulp; this was far more effective, and he knew it.

And now you've managed to get us run out of town! And if that weren't bad enough, you had to go lie to Bella's face and break her heart for no reason! Rosalie was really starting to warm up to her. You know what she told me last night? That she was looking forward to having a new sister. Do you know how HURT Rosalie was when Alice saw your little stunt? She was going to rip your arm off when you got home, but I calmed her down. I told her that there was obviously some mistake, and that in a couple of years you and Bella would catch up with us. That I knew you were an masochistic moron, but that you wouldn't go THAT far. That Bella's happiness was more important to you than all your ridiculous ideals. Guess I was wrong.

That was the last straw. I spun around in my seat, ripping the seat belt to shreds as my fingernails grazed it. "You don't know anything about her happiness!" I snarled.

"Emmett, would you please leave your brother alone?" Esme moaned. Emmett snorted and leaned back in his seat, folding his arms and looking away from me. I turned back around, knowing full well that he wasn't finished.

Look, I know that Rosalie can be a little… difficult at times. But I swear to God, if you ever lay hands on my wife again, I'll feed you to the werewolves myself. You got that?

I just nodded, my mind wandering back to his last insult. How dare he insinuate that I didn't care about Bella's happiness? That was all I cared about! Why did he think I was doing this? Emmett, of all people, had no right to criticize me. He had woken up to his second life, the love of his life standing right in front of him. He had had it so easy. He had no idea what it was like to wait for his mate for centuries, like Carlisle had. He had no idea was it was like to be emotionally manipulated by his female creator, like Jasper had been. And he certainly had no understanding of the position I was in.

I ground my teeth. Bella's happiness was my only priority. I had sacrificed our current happiness for her to enjoy a long, happy life and an eternity in Heaven. The fact that fate had driven me to do it tonight- well, that was just a mercy, straight from Heaven itself. Regardless of my choice, I would have left Bella alone with her tears tonight. This way, I was simply leaving her with a more concrete type of grief. By the time we reached Siberia, her heart would already have begun to heal. Emmett just wasn't capable of the complex planning involved in something like this. Vampire intelligence notwithstanding, his simple mind just wasn't equipped with the-

Look, Eddie, I'm a simple guy, right? I love my wife, and I show that by doing things that make her happy. End of story. Sometimes you thinker types need to knock it down a notch. Carlisle is just like you, and so is Jasper. You guys keep dwelling on stuff, and you're the worst. You get yourself so deep that right becomes left and up becomes down and loving your own mate becomes wrong! You're such an idiot. Do you seriously think Bella is going to recover from this? I may not be the empath, but even I can tell that Bella loves you in the same way that a vampire loves her mate. She CAN'T move on. Did you ever think of THAT?

I pressed my lips into a thin line, repressing the urge to turn around again and… and… could Emmett be right about Bella's love? Just the other night I had been marveling at the suprahuman strength that she seemed to think she held for me. What if she was right? I may have saved her soul, but had I just made the rest of her human life miserable? Was a life worth a soul? What if I had just-

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the barely-audible mind of my father. I closed my eyes and focused on his words- we must be more than three miles away already. His voice was patchy, at best.

Edward! Come … hear me? Oh, why didn't I … new phones and …. one! If… EDWARD!

"Turn the car around," I barked. Esme gasped and swung the car around, quickly reaching top speed.

"What is it?" she asked frantically.

"I don't know. Hold on."

Carlisle was repeating his message again, the volume quickly rising as we got closer. Edward! Come back! I need you to come back! NOW!

"I don't know what's wrong, but Carlisle just keeps saying we need to come back. Hurry," I urged her. She pushed the car just a bit more, and the engine started to shake. I listened intently as Carlisle's mind showed me what had happened.

"Alice just lost us. All of us," I said quickly. "Less than fifteen minutes from now."

"The wolves," Emmett growled. "Guess they didn't feel like waiting 'til midnight. How'd they know half of us would be gone?" Rosalie! Come on, Esme! I have to get back to Rosalie! Hurry!

"They couldn't have known that," I mused. "And why would they even attempt an attack? They know we're leaving."

"I don't know, but I've been waiting seventy years for this," he said menacingly, leaning forward.

"Something's not right here," I said cautiously. "This attack makes no sense, not even for them. Even if they knew we'd be gone, they're still outnumbered. Emmett, keep your head, okay?"

"You keep your head. The first wolf is mine," he growled. We pulled into the driveway at top speed, the car skidding to a stop and spraying mud all over the garage.

"Thank God," Carlisle sighed as he ran to embrace Esme. "I thought you wouldn't be able to hear me. Edward, do you hear anyone nearby?"

"No," I said, jumping out of the car. "Did Billy call again?"

"He might have, but I had the land line disconnected as soon as I activated the new mobile plan. I don't understand this. What do they possibly have to gain by attacking now?"

"Maybe it's not an attack," suggested Esme.

"I don't see what else it could be," Carlisle said tiredly. "They have nothing else to say to us. Only I don't see what they hope to accomplish, considering their numbers."

"Unless there are new wolves," Rosalie spat. We all looked at each other, considering the sobering possibility of Jacob- and possibly others- joining the ranks of our enemies. Were we truly in danger?

"Can't we just leave now?" Esme asked anxiously.

"We could," Carlisle replied. "Although we only have five minutes, give or take, before they arrive. And Alice was certain that we need to leave more food in the house."

"And I still haven't finished burning all the paperwork," I admitted. "And we really need to erase the evidence of there even being a fire before we leave."

"And we really should repair the wall and the door, too. We don't need the Police coming up with any new theories," Alice warned.

Carlisle nodded grimly. "If there is to be a fight, I'd rather meet them here. And if there is not going to be a fight, I don't want to run and leave before we're ready. If we leave too much evidence behind, we're going to have bigger problems than a werewolf pack."

"I agree," Jasper said quickly. "We should meet them here."

We arranged ourselves in a tight line out in front of our house, unsure what to expect. Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett slowly shifted to stand slightly forward of their mates. Each of the women, fierce in her own readiness, instinctively drew closer to her husband.

I stood alone.

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A/N: Sorry to extend the cliffhanger, but Edward wasn't through angsting, it seems. And I thought it would be fun to look at what an emergency departure might involve.