Chapter 5

I wake when I feel cold. I slide my hand, seeking Creek's warmth but I only feel the coldness of the mat. He's watching the television, watching his favorite cartoon show: SpongeBob SquarePants.

"Honey," I open my eyes wider, so I won't be able to fall asleep again.

"What, mommy?" he responds, focused on the television.

"What time did you wake up?"

"I don't know."

I don't really care though; at least he got his sleep for the night. He's had enough sleep—unlike me. But I'm not complaining.

I get up and quickly make the bed. It's not too small, but Creek and I barely fit. The only good thing is that Creek is small, so he can fit pretty much everywhere. I make myself some quick coffee, organize everything else, and sit on the bed, joining Creek to watch television. I haven't watched television in weeks. Gloss says that my job is not to watch T.V. He says that if I watch television, I'm wasting my time. I kind of agree with him, but when it has been a long day, and I feel like watching television, I disagree.

We only have two televisions in Gloss's house: one in the living room, and one in his room, our room, or whatever. Creek hardly ever watched television back home—he'd usually spend his time playing with his toys in his room or riding his tricycle outside around the small curb. It wasn't my business to be outside, unless there was something for me to do.

"So when are we getting to Candy Land?" Creek suddenly turns around to look at me.

I bite my lip and try not to answer him. I can't help it.

"Sweetie," I sigh. I shouldn't tell him this. I shouldn't tell him. I shouldn't tell him. My goodness, Annie. You're such a terrible mother.

"Sweetie," I repeat, "We're not going to Candy Land. I don't even think there is a Candy Land, besides the game. We had to come here for various personal reasons, and I had to take you with me. I'm doing this for you, Creek. I am and I know that you don't understand… But you're going to have to trust me."

I can see little Creek scowl. This isn't good.

"What?" he gets up and throws his little action figure, that he had with him as he watched television, on the ground hard. "Mommy, you promised! Why did we have to come here? Why couldn't you just make me take a bath? Daddy was right about you; you are a bad mommy! I don't like you. I wish I was with dad right now! I love him more!"

I feel a lump in my throat. I feel the tear that's flowing down my cheek, oh; I feel another, and another, and another. I can't stop. My heart burns; it's like literally in flames right now. My body is so stiff that I can't feel it; I can't feel anything except my heart hurting. I wish I was just not born into this world.

All I can hear is Creek sobbing on the ground, kicking the floor and the wall. I really shouldn't have told him. I can't stand the sight of this, the sight of Creek crying, and he's crying hard. It feels like I just hit him, like Gloss would hit me. I remember one day when Gloss and I went over to his friend's and he told me to join him. After I didn't speak to any of them that whole time, when we were leaving and barely getting in the car, he punched my nose. I kept bleeding for like the next hour until it finally stopped—I felt like all of my blood was going to disappear. I felt like I was going to die; I was running out of the whole blood in my body.

That's how Creek probably feels right now. I didn't hurt him physically, but I hurt him emotionally. Both physical and emotional pain, are equal.

"Creek," I manage to get up and wipe all of my tears away, "Sweetie, I didn't mean to do that to you. I'm sorry—it's just, you dad and everything—"

"You just hate daddy," he interrupts me through all of his tears, "He hates you too."

"I know," I simply say, "But that doesn't mean that I hate you."

"If you don't, why did you bring me here?" he asks.

"Because I love you."

He doesn't say anything else but wipes his tears away with both of his small hands. I help him by getting a soft tissue and wipe the rest. He seems to have recovered a little; I'm not. I don't even know if I can ever be recovered by all of my messes. But I don't care. All I care about is Creek, and if something happens to him, I'm not sure how I'll be able to live.

"I'm sorry, sweetie," I tell him again, because I truly am. I truly am sorry for lying to him, for hurting him, for making him believe and promising to give him something, but not. I'm just sorry to my own son, my only son.

"It's okay, mommy," he wipes my last tear for me, "But I'm only going to say sorry this time. Next time, say it to someone else."

I laugh as he smiles and I pull him in for a huge hug. I feel like I'm squeezing him too hard but I don't care; I just want to show him how much I love him. He's mine.

"I love you, honey," I say.

"You say that too much," he scowls, "But I love you too."

By the time it's the afternoon, our suitcases are empty, and our clothes and belongings are sorted out. There aren't that many drawers in the room, but I don't have many shirts or pants, so I just managed to fit everything together into two drawers. Creek has the rest of the drawers, but I don't mind. Of course I don't mind! He's supposed to have everything I didn't. I want to give him a good childhood and life. I want to give him everything my parents didn't give me.

"Are these all the toys you brought?" Creek asks me as he takes a look at them.

"Yes, honey," I say as I fold a pair of pants. "I only brought the ones that you use the most."

"But I use all of them," he says.

"Well, I brought your favorites."

"If you brought my favorites, you would've only brought my Batman."

I brought every single one of his superhero action figures—he plays with those the most.

"You have your Batman right there," I point at the action figure he's holding.

"Where's my Spider-Man?" he questions.

"Check in the furniture next to the bed, second drawer," I tell him and he doesn't say anything but rapidly goes and gets it. I haven't seen him this calm in days. Well, weeks—he usually didn't look calm back home, because Gloss would always be yelling. He was always scared of him, or us. I don't know, but now he's completely fine. However, I don't like saying the word completely right now.

I check the time and it says 5:13. I look at Creek, and to my surprise, he's already dressed. He was wearing his race-car pajamas the whole way here, so like a day and a half—something like that. I didn't even notice that he had changed; I'm just so tired right now.

"Hey Creek," I speak, "You want to go check this city out?"

He nods and we rush out of the room. When we step outside, it's empty and quiet. I quickly lock the door before we make our way to the car. I feel like something can happen at any time; that's why I'm doing everything so quickly. I feel like Gloss might show up at any second; and that's when another thought crosses my mind. What if Gloss has reported me to the police? What if he told the police that I escaped and took our son? What if he revealed everything to the police? If I go further than this, it wouldn't make a difference. Besides, he doesn't know where I am, and I don't know how the whole tracking system works. I'm not sure if what I'm doing is illegal or not, but I'm not going back with Gloss. I'm not and I literally can't. Like I said a billion times, I'm not just doing this for me. I'm doing it for Creek.

I don't even understand why Gloss would want me anyway. He's called me useless, worthless; everything negative that you could think of. I still don't understand why I even married him, or why I dated him… Wait, I do. I do know why I dated him. I dated him because he somehow attracted me. I don't know exactly what it was: his eyes, his hair, his skin… I don't know. But when we started talking, I guess I fell in love with his voice or his sweetness. But that sweetness wasn't real—his sweetness was just the key to get what he wanted. It worked, but when I pressed him with my pregnancy, I noticed the look in his eyes, the look of him wanting to abandon me. Why didn't he? Why didn't he just leave me after he used me? He was, and I guess still is, a good-looking guy. He could've easily pulled off another girl, like he did me. Why did he choose to stay? The look in his eyes that day just told me that he didn't want anything to do with me anymore, but he chose to stay, and to this day, I have no idea why.

While I was pregnant, he took me out to watch the sunset with him at the beach. He told me all these things, all these sweet things that made me fall in love with him all over again. I still remember every second of that day; I'm just not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing.

"I can't believe you're having a baby?" he said, looking out at the sun, "I mean, our baby, or your baby, whatever."

I gazed at the sun as well; it looked beautiful. The sky resembled fire, flames—like a blue and pink flower were burning but then turning into a complete dark blue-to-black color. I enjoyed and still do, watching sunsets.

"You know, I never even thought I would ever have a kid," he continued, "I thought I would just be one of those guys who will never get married, or one of those guys who gets married and chooses not to have any kids."

We exchanged quick glances before he went on saying, "And now, that I'm twenty-one, barely starting my life, we have a baby coming."

I felt guilty but he was much the blame. We were both equally guilty.

"I know," I said, looking at the waves of the darkening-blue ocean. "I actually always wanted a kid, but not at this age. I know I just turned twenty, but I still feel like a teenager. I mean, a month ago, I was nineteen. I just never saw this coming, especially at this time."

"How far are you?" he asked, meaning my pregnancy.

"Just three weeks," I said; it had barely been three weeks the day before.

"Just think," he said, "In less than nine months, our baby is going to be in your hands."

I looked at him with an odd look before I responded with, "My hands? Our baby is going to be in your hands too."

We both laughed when all of the sudden, he gently grabbed my hand. I shivered a little, but I liked it. I didn't want him to let go.

"Annie," he said, "You know I love you, right?"

I did, but now, I know that he was lying. I was just a stupid twat back then. I still am.

"Yes," I said, "You know how I know? Because, I love you too."

I thought I was being cheesy, but then again, all couples are cheesy sometimes. He smiled and slowly leaned in before his lips touched mine. It felt good—feeling his soft lips touching mine, and tasting his sweet lips all over again. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around him, touching his muscular back as he touched my cheeks with both of his hand, slowly leaning me against my back. I ran my hands down his back as he ran his fingers down to my legs. He kept kissing me and kissing me; I even felt his lips on my neck and chest. It gave me slight pleasure, which made me scratch his back a little. It didn't seem to affect or bother him. So I kept doing it for a little until he went back up and kissed my lips again. That's when my hands went up to the back of his head and I ran my hands around his hair. It felt like the moment wouldn't stop until the sun officially went down and we were back in the car, slowly driving off.

I gasp a little as I make a stop. He was using me, even that time too. He's always been using me. I'm not his wife—I'm not his love. I'm more of his object; I'm more of his toy that he picks up and throws back down when he's finished with it. I was always that and always will be. This is when I know that there is still someone out there. My true love is out there still somewhere. It's just difficult to find him—it's not as easy as finding a city on a map. I wish it was as easy as that but it's not. But I just know that he's out there somewhere; is he looking for me? If he waiting for me? I don't know. But I have to do whatever I can to find him, or for him to find me.

I just don't know if I'm good enough for him.

NOTES: Chapter 5's here! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter; I decided to do a flashback scene to show you guys how much Gloss of a fake he is. He's a real jerk and doesn't even deserve a girl like Annie - in my opinion. But in case you guys are wondering, Finnick'll show up really, really, really soon;) Thank you guys so much and please leave a review:D

Raina4Ever: I'm really excited that you find this story interesting. It's really exciting how my Convergent fans are reading this story, which is the complete opposite of the theme in Convergent. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review again:) (You're one of my favorite fans!:D)

Juliet's Shadow: Thank you so much! That whole Ty thing - Gloss is exactly like him. Gloss uses girls just to get what he wants and it makes him a complete coward. I hope you loved this chapter!:) (You're one of my favorite fans too;) And you're a VIP!)

Dracolover: Yay! I'm so glad you like this story! It makes me happy when I see new people reviewing and taking a look at my story:D Please review again, and thank you so much!:)

MeaganOneDirection: I'm excited that you love this:) I'm also glad that you think Creek is cute;) However, in this chapter, we get a mean side of him but it's just because he's disappointed. I hope you liked this chapter and can't wait to see your feedback:) Thanks!:)