AN: Hey everybody! Sorry if it ssemed like I died or something! Long story short: I had a fight with my mom causing her to take my phone and laptop but she isn't home now so I could sneak on the computer and upload (evil me ;p). Thank you for everyone who supported me! I'll give a big chapter and lots of dedications when I can do it properly since this is done in a hurry! My mom can be a bitch most of the times. So blame her! Hope you enjoy the chapter!

They talked for an hour when Si realised he needed to go to practise and asked if Jordan could come or not. Which only caused Maia yelling at him for being irresponsible. Well he would heel soon anyway since he was a Werewolf, but that didn't change the fact that they had no singer for the gig that night!

"Clary?" Clary and Simon were walking to Eric's garage, where that band practise always is.

"Yes, Simon?" Clary replied. She could already guess what he was about to ask for.

"Would you want to sing tonight, Clary?" He put a puppy face on.

"Well, let me think... No." Simon grinned.

"Thank you!", Then it suddenly dawned on him. "Wait? Why not?!"

Clary laughed."Because you can do it. You can sing just as good as I can! Even better!" Simon raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms.

"Really? But I sing as nice as a cat, where somebody stands on its tail!" Clary laughed even more at his ridiculousness.

"Stop being so melodramatic, Si! You can do it!" With that said Clary rang at Eric's front door. Eric opened and looked shocked at Clary.

"Clary? Is.. Is that you? You're back! And you look hot!" Clary looked horrified at that comment. Simon rolled his eyes.

With something that sounded like," Hello to you too, sexist pig", she entered. Once in the garage she was entangled in a groups hug.

"Wha..." Clary was so surprised. She had always thought of them as Simon's friends, never thought that they would care that much about her too.

"Oooh Clary! We heard Eric. You're back! Finally! Simon, you can go back to acting natural again!" Clary looked from Matt (AN: this is where I realised that 'Matt' was the name of Simon's bandmate. So ignore that little mistake please :) ) to Simon. What? Had he been acting weird?

"Pssssh I wasn't acting weird. Just, well never mind. Jordan can't come today." Nice avoiding the subject, Clary thought.

Well, it did work. They abruptly let go of Clary and looked over at Si.
"You've got to be kidding me! Right? You are making a joke. Simon, that's not funny." Eric said from the door opening.

"Well, I'm not. He has the flu." All the bandmates groaned.

"Seriously? Just when we have our first big gig, our lead singer is sick? We have bad luck. Really bad luck. Maybe that's a sign that we should stop." Kirk said. Clary blinked.

"What?! You can't stop now!" Clary exclaimed. She was about to ramble some more but Simon spoke.

"She's right, guys. We can't stop now just because we have no singer. We are just at our best! Now is the first time we actually can make something decent! We can't quit. Because how would our fans feel? Think about it! We finally have a fan base that doesn't exists about our moms our girlfriends! We can't let them down!" Clary looked up at Simon. He really grew up these past years, she noticed. But so did she, right?

"That's right guys, you came so far and yet now you want to give up? We won't let that! And besides, you started this band just to have fun, right? Well let's have some!" Eric smiled at Clary.

"The girls, actually it was for the girls." Everybody laughed. Clary rolled her eyes.

"Sure it was." After that everybody had courage again. They would do this!

The past few hours they had rehearsed. Clary and the boys had talked Simon into singing, so that problem was solved. Though while the guys were rehearsing, Clary had time to think, something she had been avoiding so carefully the past few days. She actually had been thinking too much, too much about Jace and mostly about how much it reminded her of before everything happened. The times she could spend hours watching Si and the band making horrible sounds and yet it would en could never be the same.

"Clary?" Clary looked up at Si. Simon could sense she was getting upset.

"Why don't we go talk up to your favourite place?" Clary raised an eyebrow at him.

"And that would be...?" Si smirked at Clary.

"The roof of course!" Clary immediately knew what he was talking about. The roof Clary always went to when she was upset. The roof of Si's old house.

"Really? But will your mom let us up there?", Clary asked surprised.

"Well, after you left I bumped into my mother at the grocery store. She saw how upset I was and could help her to ask what was wrong. So I told her about you leaving and then she hugged me, Clary! She hugged me and I can't describe the feeling I felt when she did. Afterwards she said I could come home, to explain what happened. It was shocking for her, I guess. But the weirdest part was when I told her about hotel Dumort and you saving me, she looked guilty." Clary nodded when he told her that.

"I know how she felt, Si. When I saw your dead body, I felt so horrible. I blamed myself for everything an I know you will say now that it was never my fault but it was partly. There are many people to blame but I'm just grateful that you're here today, with me and not six feet under ground."
Si smiled at Clary. He put his arm around her shoulder.

After a little walk they stood at the doorstep from Si's home. Clary was about to ring when the door opened.

"Clary, dear! You're back!" And there stood Ms. Lewis, the one and only. She looked... better than the last time Clary saw her. More... More everything actually. Ms. Lewis looked like herself again before the death of Simon's father.

"Yes, I am. How are you, Ms. Lewis?" She smiled at Clary. Ms. Lewis nodded.

"Good, Thank you. Simon, dear, why don't you go make some sandwiches for Clary, I'm sure she's hungry." Simon raised an eyebrow at Clary but headed to the kitchen. When Simon was out of sight, Ms. Lewis hugged Clary.

"Oh, Clary. I can't express how gratfull I am!" Clary was surprised.

"Why?" Ms. Lewis puled back and held her hands on Clary's cheeks. She shook her head.

"For taking care of my boy when I wasn't there. Clary, I owe you so much. From all I heard from Simon, you were there from him and you always stayed the stuborn, lovely, unselfish girl you've been since you were little. I'm sorry for having no fait in you, girl. You are litarely the most brave girl I've ever known." Clary got tears in her eyes. When Ms. Lewis saw that she pulled her in for another hug.

"What is it, dear?" Between the sob's Clary managed to speak.

"You tell me all of this and I can't help but feel that I don't am that anymore! I don't know who I am anymore! And I feel like people expect me to be some way, but I can't. Not anymore." Ms. Lewis let her cry.

"Sometimes,Clary, you don't have to be what or who somebody expects you to be. You are only 17 soon 18, it's normal, especially with everything you've been through, that you still have to figure out who you want to be."

"Thank you, Ms Lewis." She kissed Clary's forehead.

"You're welcome, dear. And remember, Clary, you're like a daughter to me." Clary nodded and entered the kitchen where Simon stood and as promised was making sandwiches. He turned to her and hugged her.

"You alright?" Of course he had heard, he's a vampire. Stupid, she thought, how could I've not thought about it?

"Eavesdropping? You know that's a bad habbit don't you?" Clary could feel him smile in her neck.

"Of course I do, but that doesn't help the fact that I have super amazing hearing skills, does it?" His voice was a little playfull, but you could still hear the consurn through it.

"I guess it doesn't. And I am, Si. Don't worry, I'll get through it.'' Si let her go and looked her into her eyes.

"Of course you will, but don't forget that I'm here now, okay? You never have to go through anything alone again." Clary smiled at him.

"Of course I'll never forget. Can we go upstairs now? I think we should have a huge talk." Simon nodded and headed upstairs followed by Clary.

AN: hi again! Next chap will reveal a little about Clary's past in the Academy and the chapter after that will be the party. Hopefully I'll be able to update Wednesday because I HAVE VACATION (YEEEEEEEY) and I'll maybe be able to write some more :) BYEE PLEASE REVIEW!