CHAPTER 33
Where am I?
This place is so dark and so…cold.
"How can you do this to your ancestors?"
I looked around…who said that?
"How can you betray us like this?"
"How could you?"
"You betrayed us"
"You pretender"
"Liar"
"Hypocrite"
"Fool"
"You're an outcast"
My eyes widened and I looked around in the darkness. Everything came back to me but this was hard to understand. Not only was I dead but I was hearing things now? They crowded amongst one another almost like they were fighting for dominance in my head. Who were saying this and why were they? I couldn't even recognized these voices. Some were strong, some were old, some or most were filled with hatred, others with angriness or disgust. As very different as they were they all had one thing in common and that was that they were all going against me. Saying negative things calling me names. Labeling me with foul words, stripping me of my pride, grounding me in my sin making me itch in disgust and cause knots of fear to form in my stomach. Who were these people…what did they want….
"Sanelle"
I froze. That voice…that voice…I knew….that voice.
That light silkiness…that gentle sound…that soothing laciness that was the voice of femininity itself….well…that was what that voice was to me…it was the voice of no one else but my…
"M-Mother?"
"Oh Sanelle"
That was definitely her
"Mother!- Wh-where are you?"
I looked around but it was as if I was in a room of darkness. I was in a world where there seemed to be no one but me. Also those voices. Who were they? And why could I hear my mother's voice. I looked around but there was pure black, blackness from every corner both in altitude width and height. It scared me what was this place? Somehow the darkness seemed alive. Yes it seemed alive. It was moving, searching, covering, hiding, doing everything it could to achieve its goal…and that was instilling the fear inside me…and surely, that was what it did. It felt like it would attack me any moment, like it was slowly creeping up on me ready to pounce and kill me, but it stayed away…it remained motionless., and that was from the light…warm…very much alive… light that radiated from my body, bursting from under my skin illuminating a very small halo around on the ground I sat on. I was naked yet I felt covered, in this shower of light I felt warm, but the words of the people were stripping me of this light, and the darkness was robbing me of its warmth. The people were my conscience, this light was life and the darkness itself was death.
"Sanelle listen, I have only a short time with you but-"
She spoke again from of course from nowhere which echoed in everywhere but made me feel like she was somewhere yet I couldn't find her anywhere.
"Wait, mother why are you here? Where am I- Who are these people in my head?"
There was a slight pause, "Theses are previous necromancers like us…ones who have existed before us… they are locked in my soul which you consumed. Sanelle… right now I-"
"Previous, as in my forefathers?
"Yes but Sanelle you need to listen. When I died...I wanted you to live on, end this silence that you are in, end this loneliness that you place yourself in. Stop hurting yourself by allowing others to hurt you. It was by far obvious that you were blaming yourself, cursing yourself for killing me- but it had to be done Sanelle, that's just the way it is"
I felt the anger inside me, the sadness in my heart. How dare she judge me…after the many things I went through after her death after the many denials and isolation I lived through just to repay my sin she has the guts to tell me that I should stop doing this-
"This is my sin!" I screamed at her.
It was silent
The place went silent
I became silent.
I retained my posture calming myself. Never had I once lashed out like that- I was losing it. What's happening to me? My pain, my sadness, this pain ripping me apart, why couldn't I keep it all inside like before.
"I understand, I'm sorry for dying… for leaving you alone all those years…for leaving you to yourself to grow on your own."
I felt the tears run down my cheek. The words melted my heart, it was like the words I've always wanted to hear yet rejected for so long. Piercing my heart like arrows winning the battle drawn on for a decade now… I finally realized that theses arrows were reminding me of something I actually forgot….
Her love.
"Sanelle I love you"
"Mother- I-I love you too"
"You did- the right thing"
I looked around and for a second I was sure I could have felt her behind me a while ago. For some reason those words lingered into the darkest….and I knew those were her last.
I felt my body give in and I closed my eyes a smile across my face as I knew that on the other side of this world Sebastian had completed his 'meal'. Of course it all made sense now.
Limited time…
Final words….
What I felt rushing into me wasn't death…..what I felt taking me over…was life.
I smiled.
Master you're such a weak man…..to devour my mother's soul…and leave me with mines
A/N TWO MORE CHAPTER REMAINING