A/N: Look! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's... an update! :) Told ya I'd come back.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did, I would have money and be able to do whatever I want... Instead I'm at home. On a semi-functioning laptop. Eating leftovers. *sigh*

Detective Katherine Beckett sighed in relief as she sunk slowly into the warm bath waters surrounding her. The scent of lavender gently wafted up to greet her nose, and she allowed herself a small smile at the slight play of the bubbles around her.

It had been a long day.

It was exciting, the life of a homicide detective, sure. But sometimes, it was more draining than anything else. She still felt like the new kid on campus, even though she was starting to hold her own as a detective, with her team. It was almost six months now, and they were nice to her, but she did feel like an oddball sometimes.

It didn't help that they knew about her past.

Kate sunk deeper into the waters of the tub so that bubbles foamed around her chin. She sighed heavily and blew the foam away from her face.

Kevin was nicest. He was the new guy right before her, so he sympathized to some extent. And Esposito was... nice too. He was still a little wary of her. Which, she supposed wasn't exactly unwarranted. After all, she supposed she would have a hard time trusting a cop who was so hell bent on revenge that she got herself suspended- nearly got herself killed- trying to bend the rules. She had been lucky that she was a cop at the time and had acted in self defense, otherwise she could be up for a murder rap as well. Or at least manslaughter, anyways.

Things were different now, though. She paid her dues, did her time, and for some reason was given a second chance. She had a feeling that Captain Montgomery had a huge hand in that, for whatever reason. He was fond of her, that much she knew, and often she felt him keeping an eye on her. That's how she'd made it onto the detective track so easily- that and the fact that she'd more than proved her detecting skills two years before when she'd caught up with her mother's killer.

She shuddered at the memories of that day. She didn't like thinking about it, didn't want to go down that spiral again. The things he'd said to her, about how much higher up this went than she'd thought previously... The memory of Coonan's fingers around her neck, yanking on her long hair, his gun pressed into her ribcage, and how she'd fought hard for the upper hand and ultimately wrested his pistol away and shot him with it.

She shook her head to rid herself of the memories. "No more," she spoke aloud to herself, reaching one arm up and out to grab her book. Normally she read one of her favorite murder mystery novels- preferrably a Richard Castle book- but tonight, she just couldn't handle anything else. Tonight, it was all sappy romance and bodice rippers for Kate Beckett. Tomorrow... Well, tomorrow was back to murder and mayhem.

She sighed and ran her hand through her short hair before turning to the more well-worn pages of the book and settling herself down.

Richard struggled to tie his bowtie with his shaky fingers. He'd taken Alexis' words two weeks before to heart, slowed down on the partying front. Alexis started high school, was adjusting quite marvelously.

Rick was having a bit of a harder time.

With a growl of frustration, he ripped the tie off from around his collar and decided to forego it altogether. Black tie or not, it was his party, he could do whatever the hell he wanted.

He wanted a hit.

Castle swallowed hard as the thought came and went, hitting him like a car and stunning him from the impact. He popped a few buttons on his shirt collar, giving him his usual ruggedly-handsome look. His eyes kept drifting back to the mirror's view of the walk-in closet. It was tempting- oh, so tempting...

No. He'd been doing better. Well, kind of. He'd kept the party scene to a low roar, going out only twice in as many weeks, and leaving at a decent hour, even by himself once. The drugs... well, the drugs came and went still. He'd cut back a bit, down to maybe once a day now. Just enough to get rid of the shakes and keep his cool. Having a daughter starting high school was tough, reminded him how old he was, how much of a mess he's made of his life... So he wasn't exactly on the safe and sober wagon. But progress was progress, right?

He sighed as he anxiously ran his trembling hands over his face. Who was he kidding. He was a wreck. As much as he'd tried to dial it back, Castle knew he had gotten worse. Before, he had only taken the coke at parties, or when out with... well, whoever he was with. Now, he had a stash of coke and miscellaneous other pills and powders hidden in the back drawer of his closet and he used it whenever he needed it and he was alone in the loft.

This was when it usually happened. He was fine, he was fine, he was fine, sometimes for several days even... and then suddenly something in him would just snap and he knew that he needed that high to get through the day.

He hated himself for it. He had nothing to blame, no one to blame but himself. His damn college self was the one who got him hooked- fresh off his first best seller, graduating up to some of the heavier, more substantial drugs instead of just sharing a blunt with his roommates between classes. When he'd found out that his girlfriend was pregnant, he immediately dialed it back, even went to get the help he needed to get clean and sober up. He hadn't had a thing to smoke or snort since.

That is, until recently.

No excuse. It was just another celebrity bash, he was invited, and things got a bit out of hand. Someone had brought out some drugs, thought it'd be funny to try some stuff. He had been drunk, and a little bit cocky. The cocktail of drugs he had woken up to afterwards left him with a gnawing want in his gut, despite how sick it made him.

Once an addict, always an addict, or so goes the saying. Rick had experienced withdrawals fairly early on, and thus began his downward spiral. He had to keep moving up a level, his tolerance level was already set so high from his previous experiences. Anything for that euphoric feeling, that new level of energy that accompanied every hit he took. He could get so much done, live so much more, have much more fun. Always bigger, better, bolder, more.

But the craving came back with a vengeance.

Rick groaned aloud, frustrated with his inability to make a decision. He hadn't ever done it with Alexis at home before, and he was concerned about crossing that new boundary. Just as he had been nervous when he first did it on his own instead of as a mere social thing, or when he first brought the drugs home. He could do it, and he would get over it, and be fairly steady within half an hour.

Or he could stay clean for one more night, slowly continuing to wean himself off it using all of the tricks he'd learned before about rehabilitation. He could go to the party sober, and then if things went downhill from there, he could always make a quick escape and get back to his stash afterwards.

With that thought, Richard Castle unhappily hooked his jacket over his shoulder and stormed out the room, still shaking and sober as he went to the book launch for Storm Fall.