Chapter 11
I take another look at the note—staring at the way Finnick writes. I guess he came by to see me and tell me in person, but obviously we weren't home. It doesn't matter though; at least Creek had some fun and I got to see Foxface.
"What is that mommy?" asks Creek.
"It's just a note from Finnick. He dropped it off last night." I say.
He nods and quickly goes and gets the action figure that Finnick gave him. I can tell that he really loves that toy—it's like he hardly ever takes his hands off it. There is not one day where I don't see him holding the figure, and that somehow reminds me of the sugar cubes. They're still here; right there on the furniture.
I gather some underwear, jeans, and a simple shirt; all ready for the shower. I just need some time to think. When I take a shower, I do my best at thinking—but pretty much, everyone I've ever heard from, they've all said that they do their heavy thinking during a shower. I just need to think about Foxface, about how her future might end up if she does marry Brutus.
I step into the small tub—the material that it's made out of makes it slippery when water hits it. I turn the handle to the cold section and the water's freezing, but I don't care. I just let the water hit my body, hitting the top of my head and making my hair stick to my skin. I haven't showered in days, and it feels so good to finally freshen up after a few long days. I take the shampoo and scrub my hair; I can feel the slight coldness of the substance and it feels pleasuring. Rubbing body wash all over my body, I start to think of Gloss once again. I remember our wedding night… almost every single detail.
He carried me to our hotel room, smiling, giving me lots of kisses everywhere on my face. I kissed him back and as he opened the door, the room was completely beautiful. The bed was heart-shaped, the furniture was fancy and had the color of mahogany surrounding all over it. There was a large golden carpet under the bed and the walls had different kinds of beautiful designs all over them. Everything was just perfect and I realized the wine that was placed on a small table near the bed with two glass cups. I bit my lip.
"This is amazing," I told Gloss as he put me down nicely and shut the door. "Honey, you really didn't have to do this—wasn't this expensive?"
"That doesn't matter," he said, getting right behind me and placing his hands on my arms, squeezing them firmly. "What matters is that nothing can be more perfect than being here with you."
I smiled and closed my eyes as I felt his lips on my neck, making their way to my shoulders, slowly removing part of my dress.
"Uh," I whispered, "I'm kind of tired."
"What?" he whispered as he stopped.
"It's been a long day, and I'm exhausted. Remember," I touched my belly; it had a small bump back then. "I'm pregnant. I get tired easily."
"Well," he slowly continued touching my arms and made his way to my hips, "This'll help you feel better and fall asleep."
He kissed my neck again, moving all around it and continued to remove my dress. I couldn't resist it, so I decided to turn around and follow his steps. I let him kiss my neck a few more times before I began removing his black suit, revealing the white collared-shit with buttons. My wedding dress wasn't the best, but then again, we were on a tight budget for the event. We didn't want anything too big; we just wanted something small and simple. Those are one of the things where we both agreed on to.
He made his way towards my lips and I kissed his, feeling the smooth and softness of them. He managed to get my wedding dress off and I managed to remove his clothing before we were both on the bed, lying next to each other with his arm around me a few minutes later. I placed my head on his hard chest and I did agree that it did help me to do what he wanted. But something wasn't right.
"That was great," he smiled and he looked at me with his blue eyes. "I won't forget this night."
"I won't forget it either," I said; however, I said something that I really shouldn't have said afterwards. "I just wish we had waited for this night."
He didn't say anything for a few moments.
"I just wish we didn't do anything that night; I wish we had saved that for tonight, for just now, you know?" I added.
He took his arm off me and sat down at the edge of the bed as he sighed.
"What's wrong?" I nicely asked.
He shook his head.
"God dammit, Annie!" he quickly stood up, "Why do you have to say that?"
"What?" I commented, "I'm… I'm-I'm just saying."
"Well stop!" he yelled and it startled me. "Don't you know how much I regret doing that?"
"Wait," I stood up as well, "Are you saying that when our baby gets here, you're going to regret that?"
"Stop saying our baby!" he yelled harder, "If anything, fuck that baby!"
I touched my belly.
"Gloss," I said, "This is your baby who you're talking about."
"Damn," he whispered and looked up at the ceiling as he shook his head. "He's not just my baby; he's your baby!"
"I didn't say that; I-I-I I'm sorry; I was just saying that this night would've been better if we waited," I responded.
"I don't give a fuck," he said, "We had sex; I liked it. And we just had sex just now; I liked it. And now, you're fucking everything up. Why don't you just shut the fuck up? I didn't marry you for this."
I knew that I should've just shut my mouth completely, but I was stupid and decided to keep going on.
"Wait a minute," I interrupted him, "Then what exactly did you marry me for?"
He didn't answer but quickly lied back down on the bed, covering up his naked body.
"I'm sorry, Honey," I walked back over to the bed and got close to him. "I know that I shouldn't talk back to you. I know you're right; I don't know what I'm saying. I-I'm j-just sorry. I love you."
He looked at me and harshly pressed his lips against mine.
"If you love me, you'll shut up and go to bed," he said before I released a tear and listened to him. I listened to him, making the biggest mistake of my life. I didn't know that he was wrong the whole time—I was just blinded and too confused to think of anything. I couldn't do anything with him around; I thought that marrying him was going to solve everything. I thought marrying him was going to make everything better, but obviously, I was wrong. I start to wonder what my life would be life if I didn't meet him at all… Would I have met Finnick?
I guess some things happen—whether they are good or bad—they have to happen if something beautiful has to happen. In my case, I had to have met Gloss if I ever wanted Finnick in my life. That's one thing I don't regret right now.
I walk out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around as Creek looks at me and covers his eyes quickly.
"Ew, mommy," he says, his eyes are covered by his small hands.
"Don't worry, sweetie," I laugh a little and quickly change in the closet. I don't know why I just didn't change in the bathroom.
I have decided to go along with Finnick to dinner; after all, I do want to get to know some people. Those people that are going to dinner with us might just be his friends, and maybe I can befriend them as well. I just hope I don't ruin any chances or possibilities. But what if those people don't like me? What if they look at me and pure hate hits them?
I bite my lip as I finish changing and get out of the closet. Creek is still playing with his action figures, like always. I start to wonder if he even wants to go out to dinner. But who am I kidding? He loves food and will go anywhere just for food. That's one of the things I love about him—he's like my little piggy and I like that.
"Hey Creek," I approach him and plop down. "Listen, Finnick has invited us to dinner. There are going to be quite a few people there, do you want to go?"
He quickly smiles before he replies with a "yes."
I knew it.
We quickly drive up to the city's public phone use place and I quickly call Finnick. We make the plan to get to dinner at six o'clock; it's twelve o'clock now. We're going to the Olive Garden and as a matter of fact, I've never been there. I haven't even tried it once, not even from someone's leftovers. Gloss never took us out for dinner but only once when we first got married; however, the restaurant wasn't fancy all. I'm not complaining though; I guess I have no right to.
We drive back home, Creek takes a quick messy bath, I clean it up, dress him, and before I know it, it's already 5:30.
"Goodness gracious," I mutter when I look at the time. "We have to hurry up."
I read Finnick's note one last time, debating whether to wear make-up on or not. Unfortunately, I decide not to. He said I looked beautiful without it; I strongly disagree. Maybe he's lying to me and just feels sorry. He probably feels sorry that I'm the ugliest living thing in this whole planet. I have to wear make-up, I think, I have to. I have to. I have to.
"Let's go," I tell Creek to keep myself from disobeying Finnick. But if I did wear it, it wouldn't be disobeying him, right?
We arrive at the Olive Garden in a matter of minutes and to my surprise, it's not filled with a bunch of cars or people. Foxface used to tell me in college that our local Olive Garden was the worst. And she wasn't even talking about the food. The service was bad, it would take up to two hours for the employees to sit you down; your food wouldn't be ready until an hour… it was bad, or so she said. But maybe it was like that because we were in California and it was always packed. I don't know.
I pull over and when I'm about to get out of the car, the door opens and I startle. The man who opened it wears, what I can see, a nice tuxedo. Finnick. He reaches his hand out and I love the feeling of it when I touch it as he nicely helps me out of the car. He also gets Creek out as well and lifts him up in the air, yelling, "Superman's here!"
I can't help it but laugh, not because it's just funny, but because it's kind of cute… He looks into my eyes after he puts Creek down and that's when I shiver.
"Good afternoon, Ann," he smiles and holds out his hand again.
"Good afternoon to you too, Finnick," I grab his hand and also Creek's. We slowly walk inside afterwards and I feel a chill going down my spine. I'm actually holding hands with him. People will probably think he's my husband or something. They'll probably think that Creek is our son when really; they do not even want to meet the real father. I swallow my own spit hard when we quickly get seated and I see the people that Finnick was talking about. One girl has her hair in a fancy braid and wears a black dress. Another girl wears a golden dress and her hair is kind of like mine but short. And there are also two more guys in front of them: one of them has blond hair and wears a white tuxedo while the other guy shares the same dark hair that the girl with the braid has. He wears a dark brown tuxedo and looks like the oldest out of Finnick and the others. He probably is.
"Guys, I'd like you to meet Ann and her son, Hammil," Finnick says as he sits me down next to the girl with the braid.
"Ann," he tells me and points to the girl with the braid. "This is Katniss Everdeen."
"Hi," I smile and she shakes my hand, greeting me as well.
"That's Johanna Mason over there, but you can call her Jo," he points at her and she doesn't even bother shaking my hand. Her arms are folded across her chest and instead of saying anything to me, she rolls her eyes and turns the other way.
"Okay then…" Finnick responds and points to the blond-headed guy. "That's Peeta Mellark."
He smiles at me and I smile back as Finnick introduces me to the guy who looks the oldest. His name is Gale Hawthorne and he actually is older than us by a year. He's also handsome, as well as Peeta. However, something about Finnick just makes him the most handsome man on this table, in fact, this whole restaurant or city—even this whole country! I'm exaggerating but that's how I feel.
We order our meal and shockingly, it arrives fast. It didn't take an hour or two, but a few thirty minutes. I don't care; at least I'm with Finnick.
"So Ann," Gale suddenly speaks to me, "Where you from?"
My heart begins pounding, my body is filled with goose bumps, it's somehow harder to breathe all of the sudden. The answer is simple, but it's not easy answering it. Oh, I'm from San Bernardino, California. I was born and raised there; however, when I was seven-years-old, I was sent to my aunt and uncle's house because my father killed my mother, and he was sent away to prison. Unplanned, I got pregnant when I was in college by the guy who I regret marrying: Gloss. He beat me, yelled at me, used me, and didn't respect me, so I decided to run away from him with our son. And now, we're here. We're here in Springfield, Illinois where I might just be falling for Finnick Odair.
"Uh…" I wipe around my mouth with a napkin to help myself think better, but it's not working. "I-I'm from California."
"Really?" Katniss says, "I'm from there too. Me and Finnick have known each other since grade school."
"Oh, how nice," I smile and take another look at Finnick. God, why does he have to look so attractive?! Look at me. I look disgusting; he probably lost all his taste in me.
"Where in California are you from?" Peeta adds.
I breathe hard for a while before I take in a deep breath and say, "Pasadena."
I exchange glances with Creek as he shakes my arm and whispers into my ear, "Mom, I thought we were from San Ber-ber-dar…"
"No, Hammil," I smile and look at the group. "We're from Pasadena."
Thank God he can't pronounce San Bernardino.
"What made you move over here?" I hear someone else and it's Johanna. She doesn't look like she's enjoying the dinner. Her arms are still folded across her chest and she glares at me.
"I-I just always wanted to come here," I try my hardest not to stutter, but I can't help it.
"Why?" she asks.
"I just thought this-this place was p-perfect for Cr-Hammil." I say.
My goodness! Why do you have to stutter so much?! Maybe everyone's right about you… you can't do anything right and you always screw everything up!
"Where's your husband?" she goes on and I don't feel like answering her anymore. But I have to be polite.
"He-he left me," I hate lying so much. "After the divorce, he decided to move away."
"Oh," she slowly nods, "And you're quickly looking for other guys now…"
"Johanna," Finnick softly says as he clears his throat. "Stop." he doesn't say it but I can see him mouthing that word to her. What's her problem anyway? Am I really that dislikable to people? I barely meet them and they quickly dislike me?
"Ann," Finnick touches my hand. I melt. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"
I nod and he leads me towards the restrooms. I've never seen a restaurant where even the restrooms look fancy.
"Listen," he quietly begins, "I'm sorry about Johanna. I don't know what her problem is but just ignore her, okay?"
I nod again.
"I'm really sorry; she's like that sometimes. Don't take it personal," he adds.
"Why is she like that anyway?" I ask.
He licks his lips and looks down at the floor. The carpet has different types of beautiful designs. It reminds me of the room that Gloss and I stayed at during our wedding night.
"I…" he begins to say, "I… I don't know. I guess it's something she always does to people. But I'm just really sorry by how she's acting. So please, don't take it personal, okay?"
He's stuttering.
"Okay." I say before he encloses me in his arms and takes my hand, pulling me to the table again. I take a look at Johanna one more time and this time, she shakes her head, rolls her eyes, and looks away to continue eating her meal. There has to be something for her to do that. But like Finnick said, I'm not going to worry about it.
We eat our meal silently for a while until we almost leave. That's when I slightly wish that I wouldn't have come along.
"So Finnick," Johanna takes a sip out of her drink. "Tell us how much you're enjoying your life here."
"I love it, but you guys already know," he says, "Even Ann knows that and we just met."
I smile a little but notice that Johanna keeps eyeing me weirdly.
"Really? Well, do you like it better now, or was it better back then?" she goes on.
Back then? I try to follow Johanna's lines, but she's puzzling me. I have absolutely no idea what she means—doesn't she already know? She is one of Finnick's friends; she should know.
"I like it better now," he responds. "I like it a lot—a fresh new start is better."
He looks at me and I grin a little before I take a look at Creek. He looks exhausted, so I decide to check the time. 9:23. The latest we've gone to bed lately has got to be ten o'clock. I absolutely can't stay up later than that; with Gloss, since he would hardly ever let me sleep, I sometimes wouldn't go to bed until one to two o'clock. That's also one of the reasons why I was always so tired.
"You know what?" I snap out of my instant imagination as Johanna snaps and turns to look at Finnick. "I can't even eat—I can't stand the sight of you. Here," she takes out a couple of dollar bills, "Here's my pitch-in; I'll be at the hotel."
Everybody looks at Johanna puzzled. Something has to be wrong with me for her to act like this. It has to be me. I mean, I'm willing to bet everything I have that she already dislikes me. I bet as soon as I sat down, she already hated me. I don't want to say hate but it can be correct.
"Great," Gale digs into his wallet and also takes out a few dollar bills. "What a way to ruin the night. Sorry about that, guys. I don't know what's bothering her and Ann," he looks at me, "It was really nice to meet you. I hope you'll get together with us some other time. I'll see the rest of you at the hotel."
Johanna's gone. Gale's gone. Now, it's me, Creek, Finnick, Katniss, and Peeta. What's next? Finnick? Peeta and Katniss? Creek and I? I wouldn't doubt on any of my questions. Gale's right; I guess the night has been ruined, but I don't blame Johanna. I blame myself.
"Sorry about that," Finnick sighs, "I'm telling you, I don't know what's wrong with her."
"She's been acting that way since like two days ago," says Katniss, taking another bite out of her lasagna.
"It's getting to the point where we can't even talk to her, because of that," says Peeta.
"Is it okay if I leave you guys here?" Finnick asks Peeta and Katniss, "I want to take Ann home—I'll be back afterwards and if I don't, I'll be at the hotel."
"Yeah," Katniss says, "It's fine."
I bite my lip and take a look at Creek. I feel so guilty for everything I'm doing. We move to a new city, and people already hate me. It's only been a couple of days, and I'm already ruining people's days and nights, probably even their lives. I just hope I didn't ruin Finnick's night; I really hope I didn't. If I did, will he even forgive me? I can't stop thinking like this. I can't stop thinking negative about myself.
"You don't have to do that, Finnick," I say, "I drove over here."
"Can I drive behind you until you get to the motel?" he asks.
It would be nice of him to do so. He actually wants to take me home, but he really doesn't have to. I don't want him to waste gas on me. He'd really just be wasting his time following me to the motel. Even though it isn't even far, it's still something. Why does he even want to follow me home? Is he trying to protect me?
"Okay," I nod and grab Creek. He says bye to Katniss and Peeta before I do. I also apologize for ruining their nights but they object and disagree, saying that it was all Johanna. But it wasn't her fault! It was all mine.
Finnick follows me to the motel quickly that I forget he was behind us the whole time. The motel is only a couple of blocks away from the restaurant, so I'm thankful that it isn't far. I feel like I'm already sucking time out of Finnick's life.
Creek quickly goes inside, leaving Finnick and me alone outside, standing in front of the door. His sea-green eyes look so much better at night when the moonlight hits them. I can see the light reflecting his hair, making it look duller. He looks so much better under the moonlight, but he's still the most handsome man I've ever laid eyes on.
"I know I've already said this, but I'm truly sorry for what happened," he says, his hands are shoved inside his pickets.
"Don't be sorry," I say, "It was all my fault. I guess Johanna doesn't like me and she has every right not to. Sorry, if you want, I won't hang out with you guys again."
He shakes his head and quickly places both of his hands on my cheek. A chill suddenly goes down my spine afterwards and I can feel my blood circling.
"It wasn't your fault," he says, his forehead is almost touching mine. "Don't blame yourself. And please don't feel insecure about yourself. You know that you're the only girl that I can actually drop everything for, right?"
"But you just met me," I look down, "There's no possible way that you can feel that way about me."
"Yeah there is," he responds, "It is possible, because I really do feel this way."
I don't say anything afterwards—I don't know what to say because I don't really disagree with him. I actually feel the exact same way as him. However, I'm just too afraid to admit it, I think.
"Ann," he suddenly says after a few short moments of silence. "I… I love you."
He can't be serious. He seriously cannot be serious about that. He doesn't love me, he doesn't love me. He's just saying he is, because… Why is he doing this to me? Why?
I look up at him and I feel like my forehead is starting to sweat; it is.
"Stop," I shake my head and back away from him a little. "You don't love me. Don't lie to me, Finnick. If there's one thing I hate from people, it's when they lie to me. Just please stop."
He gets closer to me again and I feel his warmth.
"I'm not lying to you," he presses his forehead against mine, our noses also touch. "I know what it's like to be lied at. I know how you feel, and I promise you, I can promise you that I'm not lying to you. If there's one thing that I wouldn't do, it's lie to you."
Our eyes connect once again when I move them up to meet his. Our lips are just centimeters apart, probably millimeters apart! His hands are on my cheek; my hands are suddenly behind his neck—they make their way up to the back of his head. I'm finally feeling his smooth, soft, and heavenly hair. God, please don't make this moment stop.
He smiles as I grin a little but before anything else can happen, that's when he lets out a sigh and tells me why Johanna was really acting the way she was. At first, I don't understand but then I get it. She's jealous of me—it's not that she doesn't like me but she's envious towards me. She didn't enjoy having dinner while I was there with Finnick. So it was true—I ruined the night by my presence. When I met him a few nights ago, Finnick said that he has only had one girlfriend in his whole lifetime…
That one girl was Johanna.
NOTES: Hi earthlings!:) I haven't updated in a while, since like... I don't even remember! XD That's how you know that you haven't updated in a while. XD Anyway, this is the LONGEST chapter I've written by far. I also had a little bit of trouble with it, because I've been having writer's block with everything I'm working on right now. It sucks so bad having writer's block; grrrr, absolutely HATE it. So believe it or not, this chapter would've been longer! It was already getting too long through half of it when I decided to shorten it. So if it's crappy (which I know it is, so please if you review, ignore that:P) please don't judge me. Oh and if you're reading this note, DON'T LOOK AWAY! I'M WRITING IT IN CAPS SO YOU'LL NOTICE. IN THE LAST CHAPTER, AT THE VERY END, FINNICK LEFT A NOTE AND SINCE I WAS RUSHING TOWARDS THE END TO FINISH THE CHAPTER AND DIDN'T BOTHER REVIEWING IT AFTER I WAS DONE, I NOTICED THAT HE SAID ANNIE'S NAME. Please ignore that; it was a small error. In case you guys are questioning which part exactly, the note said, "Annie, the most beautiful girl in this world. Please, if you have time tomorrow, can you join me and a couple of friends for dinner? If you want to join, just call me tomorrow and I'll pick you up..." And so on. You notice how it says "Annie" at the beginning, ignore that and pretend it said "Ann." I didn't notice that mistake until after I posted the chapter and my friend reviewed it. So yeah... some of you may have not noticed but I'm just letting you know... :O So back to the chapter, I decided to make have Johanna be Finnick's ex-girlfriend. I thought it'd be interesting since they're close in the real books, and we get a jealous side of Johanna. I really liked writing that part and I hope you guys did too -this whole chapter as a matter of fact. Thank you so much for reading and please review:) (Again, please ignore the crappy and rushed writing; I was just trying not to make this chapter too long) But if you guys like long chapters, let me know:)
Juliet's Shadow: I had so much fun hanging out with you and Candice on Monday! It was really funny and fun! (How Candice smacked you at the mall XD She's vicious sometimes!) Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I hope you liked the bonus chapter I wrote for Graceland! Thank you so much! (And also, thanks for noticing the "Annie" thing!)
Catching Fireflies: I'm glad you like Finnick:) I agree, Foxface needs to realize that she can do so much better than Brutus. I hope you liked this chapter and the intense flashback... I feel like this story is going to have plenty of flashbacks, because I want to show you guys how bad Annie's life was... So I hope you don't mind and thank you so much!:)
Seraband: Yeah! Finnick:) And it was a small error... My friend and I noticed right after I posted it and yeah... Pretend that note said "Ann" instead of "Annie." But I'm glad you realized it as well!:) Thank you for reviewing:)
MeaganOneDirection: Yay!:) believe me, I know how it feels to be super busy and not being able to write or read a story. It's all good:) I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well! I love how you think Creek is cute and I LOVE it when Finnick and him are together:) I enjoy writing those parts:) And Foxface is actually going to show up in the next chapter!:D So thank you so much for reviewing and hope you loved this chapter!:)
Raina4Ever: Oh it's all good!:D I freaking ABSOLUTELY LOVE looooong reviews! With long reviews, it lets me know more of what you think and I love reading them! So don't be afraid to have them long! And about Creek; he deserves to be mentioned in every review; he is cute;);) haha, a lot of people love him. I actually try to make him cuter and cuter in each chapter, so I hope I'm succeeding...:) And the note thing was error; it was supposed to say "Ann." I just realized it after I posted the chapter, so yeah. I'm glad you noticed that! And I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well! Hope the whole Johanna being Finnick's ex was a decent surprise:)
NeonfoxXtrot: I completely agree; Annie does have a horrible past:( and I do those flashbacks to show you guys how much darker it was... Like even on her wedding night, things went wrong! Ugh, gotta dislike Gloss. And I'm really, really glad it's more like a diary to you! I try to make it as realistic as possible, so I hope it gets better for you:) Thank you so much for reviewing and hope you enjoyed the chapter:)
Fighting The Inevitable: Yay!:) Super glad you loved the chapter:) we're going to get more more Foxface in the next chapter, so let's see what happens:D Thank you so much and I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well!
glimmergirlhg1: Aw, I'm glad you liked the chapter:) I try really hard to make Creek cute and I'm actually not failing!:) Thank you so much for reviewing and I hope you liked this chapter!:)
Michelle (Guest): I'm really glad you understand what I'm saying:) This story is going to get much and much more dark when Gloss comes back into it. It's going to be really intense... maybe too intense that you'll stop reading to catch up your breath!;) anyway, sorry I took a while to update this chapter and I'm pleasured that you like it!:) Hope you loved this chapter and thank you so much for reviewing:) (Oh and yay! You said I'm awesome! Thank you for thinking that:) You're an awesome fan and reviewer!(:)