Ch. 13 I Hate To See Your Heart Break

Rick took in his surroundings while he waited for the ambulance. He tried not to cry but his eyes defied him. He saw the broken glass and spilled wine that lay around them. He tried to see her better but the alley was too dark. There were no streetlights around them and he ignored the pitch black and what might be lurking in it. He held her and kept tapping her for her to wake up. But there was no good sign on her end.

He closed his eyes and prayed for her to be ok. He couldn't lose her. He felt his hand grow damp from the blood. He tried to keep her still but his hands and body were shaking causing her to shake with him. He waited for the sirens that seemed to be taking too long.

"Kate! Please Kate! Wake up! Please!" He looked down at her and her eyes were closed. There were scratches on her cheek and her body was covered with whatever lay in the alley. But still, he clung to her. His white t-shirt was surely covered with the same residue but that was the last thing on his mind. When his ears heard the sirens he immediately sighed in relief. He tried to hold onto hope and called to the paramedics when they pulled up.

"Her name is Kate. Kate Beckett. She is twenty-six and she was attacked. She is a cop." He followed after them as they wheeled her in to the ambulance. He climbed in the back and held her hand all the way there. As he looked her over, the lights allowed him to see it all. Her cheek did have scratches and her body was covered with dirt. Her hands had blood on them, her own. He saw the marks around her neck and grew more worried. He ignored everything around him and only saw her.

She was wheeled out of the ambulance and he walked with her and stopped when they made him wait in the waiting room. He didn't remember when they hooked her up to oxygen. He saw them rush through the E.R. and he paced back and forth. He was so caught up in her that he didn't notice the nurse that came up to him.

"Sir? Would you like me to give you a bandage?" She stood with a band-aid in her hand, ready to hand over.

He couldn't figure out why she was asking him, he wasn't injured. Then she pointed to his arm and saw the trail of blood. He didn't know how that happened, then remembered the glass. The broken glass from the wine bottle. He graciously accepted the band aid and sat down in a chair.

Why did this have to happen to her? Why couldn't I have been there? I should have stayed, Damn it! I should have been with her, then this would have never happened. He held his head in his hands and decided to send out the calls. The first one was to Johanna.

"Johanna? Yes, she is at Bellevue. I don't know anything. She said she was attacked and then, well, you better just come down here. Ok. See you then." He hung up and tried to get her panicked cries out of his head and to throw away the image of Kate unconscious.

He called Alexis next and she said she was on her way. He dialed Captain Montgomery and he was already in his car by the time they hung up.

"Lanie?"

"Rick? What's up?"

"Kate. She is at Bellevue. She was attacked and…"

"I'm coming. Tell me she is okay."

When there wasn't a response, a lump formed in Lanie's throat.

"Rick! Tell me!"

"I don't know."

"I am coming." She hung up and threw on her jacket and slid on her shoes, yanking her purse as she dashed out of her apartment as fast as her feet would allow.

The call to Esposito was easy. He was pissed and said he would get on it. Ryan was devastated and said he was coming to see her. Rick checked his mental list to see if he was forgetting anyone. When he seemed sure, he let himself be upset. He felt the big burst of pain and clutched his chest and didn't give a care if someone saw him cry. His heart was in there.

Alexis was the first one there and ran to his side and pulled him to her. She let him cry in her arms and was happy to be there, and have him need her. She rubbed his back and tried to smile when he looked at her.

"Any news?" He shook his head and she knew he was having a hell of a time. "What happened?"

"I got a call and then I found her in the alley. She had blood coming from the back of her head and I held her and then she went unconscious. That is all. She was hurt and I wasn't there."

Alexis had a shock of déjà vu. She remembered when Kate said something similar. How she should have been there with him and the thought made her smile. They held each other together, Rick and Kate were so wrapped up and invested in one another that they felt the same way. She was hit with a sudden rush of sadness.

What if Kate isn't ok? What if? She wouldn't let herself go there. The sight of Rick blurred as tears filled her eyes. She quickly texted Sam and said she couldn't make the sleepover. She stayed with her brother, both silent.

Johanna was the next person to arrive and ran to Rick. Her hair was haphazardly pulled into a ponytail and her face was grief stricken.

"Tell me she is ok?" She gathered what he knew and waited with him. Alexis held her hand and Johanna was grateful. She nervously paced as she had to wait and tried to not let anyone see her cry.

Lanie walked through the E.R. and saw a hunched over Rick and ran right to him.

"Rick! How is she? What happened?" She waited for him to speak up and sat next to him when Alexis vacated her seat. She listened as he rehashed the events that brought everyone in the same place. She took it upon herself to state the story to Captain Montgomery when he arrived.

Captain Montgomery relayed the information to Espo and Ryan as they strolled through the waiting room. All around the waiting room, sat a very nervous: Rick, Alexis, Johanna, Lanie, Captain Montgomery, Esposito, and Ryan.

When the doctor came through the doors and read, "Kate Beckett?," all of them stood at once. The doctor looked around the room and asked "Family?" They all stood and Johanna stepped forward.

"I am her mother." She nodded for him to say what he had to say to everyone that waited around her.

"She suffered from some contusions along her neck and arms. There were some cuts on her cheek but her head…" He paused and took in there waiting faces and went on. "She suffered from a moderate TBI. That is a traumatic brain injury. She lost consciousness and we ran a CT. Everything looks normal but with the brain, nothing is written in stone. We stitched her head up and we took care of the cuts. We have her set up and we are waiting on a room. We will want to keep her for a few days just to make sure. I expect a full recovery but we will know more when she wakes up." He shook everyone's hand and led Johanna back there.

Johanna saw Kate, lying there, with an oxygen tube hooked up to her nose. She saw the machines and the beeping of Kate's heartbeat. She walked up to her and gently laid her hand on her arm. She kissed Kate's hand and sat down with her.

"Oh honey. What happened to you? Your dad would be so much better with words. But I can't be. I just want you to wake up and look at me with those honey brown eyes you have. Kate, I love you. I should let Rick see you, he is a mess. Bye baby, I'll be by later to check on you." She kissed Kate's hand once more and walked back to let Rick see her.

Rick walked up to her and the lump in his throat seized. He saw the monitors, saw the oxygen tube, and saw the bandages. He shook and gently leaned over to kiss her forehead. He grabbed her hand as he sat down and told himself to get ahold.

"Hey baby. I know you will be okay. Want to know how I know that? Because you are a fighter. You never give up and you hang in there. So, I just need you to wake up so I can see you. I need you to come home and for you and I to get whoever did this. I love you so much. I am going to stay with you, I won't leave you. But I have to let everyone see you real quick then I will be right back. Let me be the first thing you see when you wake up. Okay? Love you, always." He kissed her forehead once more and reluctantly let everyone have their time.

"Kate, sweetie. You need to wake up and get better, and girl… You know there is a whole room of people who love you. So, for them, wake up and for me. I love you." Lanie said goodbye and headed on home, with nothing else to do but wait.

Espo and Ryan came in together and Espo was pissed while Ryan was hurting.

"Don't you worry Kate. We'll get whoever the hell did this. We're on it."

"Yeah. Kate, you know we are a family. Get better and we'll see you soon." Ryan gently squeezed her hand and left.

Espo waited for Ryan to leave before he said the thing he had to say. "You know how I feel about you but I am not like him and blubber away about it. But you know we all love you. You have my word, I won't rest until this scumbag is locked up." He gently rubbed her hand in his then kissed the top of her hand and let the Captain go in after him.

"Now you listen here Beckett. You need to wake up and get back to work. We need you there, trust me. We are all puling for you sweetie. You are one of the best we have ever had. We love you, Beckett. See you soon. Fight. You hear me? FIGHT!" He rubbed her leg and then walked out with Espo and Ryan behind him.

Alexis stopped just by her side. "Kate? Rick needs you to wake up, we all do. I think I know who did this but I need you to tell us. Please, I will always be here for you. You are like a sister to me. And I need you Kate. I love you." She wiped her tears and walked back to a pacing Rick.

"Can I go back there?"

Johanna said her goodbyes and Alexis took a cab to Rick's place to get him a change of clothes. Rick waited, impatiently, while they set her up in a room. Time stood still as he sat by her side, silent, lost for words. He kept stroking his thumb along the back of her hand.

He hadn't realized when Alexis and the nurse had come in, he was asleep in a chair placed next to Kate. When he opened his eyes, the memory of where he was startled him. He bolted upright in the chair and looked at Kate. She was still asleep. He removed his hand from hers and saw the bags by the door. One contained her possessions and the other was a bag Alexis packed him, the keys rested atop it. He smiled and went into the bathroom to wash up and change. He washed her blood from his hands and stripped his shirt and slid out of his jeans. He shoved them in the bottom of the bag and looked at his reflection in the mirror. His face showed no trace of color, he was pale. He looked sunken down, just down in frame. He didn't bother with trying to look any better, his heart wouldn't let him.

When he put her bag in the closet and threw his in, he turned back to Kate. She looked still, too still. Watching her he felt completely helpless. All he could do was to just be there and wait. He sat back down next to her and kissed her hand. He tried to stay awake but his eyelids drooped in defeat. He fell into a restless sleep.

Esposito and Ryan immediately checked for street cams the next morning. Much to their chagrin, there were none. The alley was completely out of view, there were no eyes on the perpetrator. Angry and consumed with worry, they started a canvas. That returned empty as well. There were no leads and the only person who could help them was in the hospital.

Captain Montgomery saw Esposito and Ryan slumped and lost at their desks and knew he needed to reassure them. He gathered himself together and tried to plan what he was going to say. Kate would be the one to reassure everyone, now he was left to do it.

"Detectives?" When they looked up at him, he waved them into his office. "Have a seat." They reluctantly did so and once back behind his desk, he felt stronger. "Now. I know we have no leads but we have always figured out a way around this. Who could we talk to? Think, why was she attacked. What cases is she working?"

Ryan spoke up. "Two Sir. The serial but there is also Castle's."

Espo had a light bulb go off. "Sir, she ran an APB out on that guy. What was his name?"

Captain Montgomery tried to remember but was blocked. "I can't remember. Can you talk to Castle? He may know. Or even Alexis. Maybe she knows something."

Ryan nodded and felt a glimmer of hope. "Thanks Sir." He left without Esposito and ran to his desk to make a call.

"Hello?" Alexis yawned and wiped her eyes. The sun poked slightly through her curtain and she sat upright in bed, clutching her phone loosely.

"Alexis?"

"Yes. Who is this?" She slowly walked out of her room and into Rick's kitchen.

"Ryan. Uh, Detective Ryan."

"Yeah. Hey Ryan. Is there anything new? Did you find out who attacked Kate?"

"Not yet but we thought you could help. See, we think whoever attacked Rick attacked her. Do you know who it could be? Maybe she said something. You think Rick knows?"

Alexis paused and was stricken. Could it have been Sal? She heard Ryan clear his throat and call her name. She knew she had no choice. "Sal. Sal Dobson. He is someone we had to deal with in the past but who knows if that's even him."

Ryan relayed the name and Captain Montgomery nodded in remembrance. "Thanks Alexis. We'll let you know." Once he hung up, he looked into bringing Sal in.

Alexis hung up and set her phone on the counter. She leaned her elbows on the island and pushed her hair back. What the hell. She started the coffee pot and dialed Rick. She waited but after four rings it went to voicemail. She slammed her phone down in anger.

What am I supposed to do now? If Sal talks and he might, then Rick, Kate and I are screwed. Kate needs to wake up. Rick needs to pick up! Damnit. She redialed Rick and kept it up without much change.

When the coffee pot shut off, she poured herself a cup and sat on the couch with swimming thoughts running around. She sipped her black coffee and tried to figure out her plans for the day. She had no classes, there were no plans with her friends, and she couldn't get ahold of Rick. She crossed her bare legs and tugged on her purple nightshirt. Without much of a thought, she flipped on T.V. and switched to a I Love Lucy marathon.

Rick woke from his sleep to see the oxygen was removed from Kate's nose. He slid forward in his seat and smiled. He knew this was a great sign. Her heartbeat and blood pressure looked normal and he saw her chest rise and fall with her every breath. He stood and kissed her lips, gently. He rubbed her head with his right hand and held hers with his left.

"You are doing better Kate. I knew you would. It's not like you to wait around forever." He laughed and kissed her once more before heading to the bathroom.

As he washed his hands, he smiled at his reflection. His cheeks were warm with color and his chest bathed in the warmth his heart offered him. He looked down at his black, basketball shorts and white t-shirt. He was very comfortable in an otherwise uncomfortable situation. When he headed back into her room, the nurse was busy checking vitals.

"Good morning." He waved and the nurse smiled back at him.

"She is doing very well. Has the doctor come in to talk to you today?"

"No. Is there something wrong?" He looked worried but the nurse reassured him quickly.

"No. Just to talk to you. I'll let him know you are awake."

"Thank you." He waited for her to leave and then kissed Kate once more. "I can't wait for you to wake. I have to talk to you. I hate to see you like this. It breaks my heart." He kissed her once more and ignored the hunger rising within him.

The nurse walked back in and gave him a pitcher of ice cold water.

"Thank you."

She watched him not move from his position and smiled. "You have to be hungry. The cafeteria is open. They have fresh fruit, it's delicious."

"Thanks." He smiled but turned right back to Kate.

"Aren't you heading out?"

"Nah. I'd rather stay right here." He saw her start to feel bad and he quickly recovered. "But I do appreciate you letting me know." He watched her leave and turned his attention back on Kate. "You are so beautiful. You know that?" He reached forward and grabbed his phone from the table next to her. When he turned it on, he saw ten miss calls from Alexis. He should have figured she would have been worried.

Al,

Sorry. I didn't have my phone on. I am ok. Kate's vitals are good and she no longer needs the oxygen. Right now I am waiting for her to wakeup. What's new?

Ricky,

'S okay. I am so happy to hear Kate is doing better. I can't wait for her to wakeup too. I told Ryan about Sal. Just his name. I did not bother sharing any info.

Al,

Thank you. I know you had to hate it. Do you want to come by?

Ricky,

Nah. Not right now. I just want to see if you need anything. Candy?

Al,

I could use food. But I hate to leave her side. Sound stupid?

Ricky,

Not at all. She was the same way. I had to practically force her to leave you. She didn't want to miss anything. I think it's cute. You guys.

Al,

She never told me that. I know I will have to leave her side because I have to eat, eventually. But my will is strong. J

Ricky,

And neither did I. Got it? Any food you looking forward to getting? You know what she needs? A strawberry milkshake. J

Al,

Got it. I cross my heart. I really want a big juicy steak. That or a three meat pizza. Milkshake. J I will be happy to get her one when she wakes up.

Ricky,

Go ahead and be with her. I can talk to you later. Send me updates. Sending you and Kate some love.

Al,

Thanks. You are the best sister. And you are such a good friend to Kate.

Ricky,

Cause she is like my sis. She knows that. I love you two very much. Now go eat.

Al,

I will. We love you too.

He clicked his phone and set it back down on the table. He leaned back in the chair and watched for even the slightest movement that she might possibly make.