A/N: Thank you to Phish Tacko for her work on this. Go read her stuff!
Ch. 47
One thing that Alice, Carlie, and Mirana all noticed was that Tarrant's mood swings during this pregnancy were far worse than the ones he had in his first pregnancy. Often, he would go from sad to angry, or angry to happy in mere minutes. It was scary. Alice could never predict how his moods would go, either, because of how quickly they'd change.
This particular morning, Tarrant was back working on his hats, trying to get his mind off of the general sense of discomfort he felt constantly. However, he was starting to get into a bad mood. He was missing some fabric that he'd thought he'd had. Besides that, he'd been having flashbacks all morning to the night when Stayne had raped him, even though it was over a year prior. He just couldn't get his mind off of it, and it hurt him deeply.
Mirana walked in just as he was throwing a bolt of fabric at the wall.
"Tarrant? What's wrong?" Mirana asked, dodging the cloth as it hit the door.
"Nothing," Tarrant said, scowling. "Nothing's wrong."
"Something's obviously bothering you. Tell me what's on your mind."
Tarrant felt angry until he looked at Mirana's eyes. It was clear that she truly cared and wanted to help him. He glanced at the door, then back at her, then back at the door.
"Want me to close the door?"
"Please," Tarrant whispered.
Mirana nodded and shut the door, then walked back towards Tarrant. "Now, tell me what's wrong."
Tarrant tried not to cry, but he couldn't help it. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes almost instantly.
Mirana noticed this and pulled him into a hug. "My poor Hatter. Why are you crying?"
Tarrant sniffled, resting his head on Mirana's shoulder as she rubbed his back.
"I keep thinking of it," He finally admitted. "I can't stop thinking of it. It keeps me awake at night."
"Thinking of what?"
Tarrant began to cry harder, his body shaking as he sobbed. "That night... with... with Stayne..."
Mirana sighed, and held him a little tighter.
"Shh, shh. I'm so sorry, honey. I'm so sorry he did that to you."
"You don't understand. He took everything from me."
"You mean, you were... inexperienced, prior?"
Tarrant nodded. "I hadn't... he took it all. Made me so dirty, filthy, and I'm still dirty... I don't understand why Alice loves me, or why you're friends with me. Carlie's my sister, she has an obligation, but-"
Mirana shook her head and pulled back a little so she could look Tarrant in the eyes.
"Stop that!" She scolded him, causing him to stop sniffling for a minute, afraid that she would indeed tell him that she agreed that she had no idea why they were friends.
"Stop talking about yourself that way," She continued. "You're not filthy or dirty. He's the disgusting person, not you. You're beautiful, Tarrant. Alice loves you because she thinks you're beautiful. I love you as a friend because I can see how great you are on the inside. Please, don't ever think such bad things about yourself."
"O-okay." Tarrant rubbed his eyes, wiping some of the tears away. He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket, and blew his nose.
"Are you feeling better?" Mirana asked.
Tarrant nodded 'yes'.
"Good. I've got some business to attend to, but... Keep your chin up, Tarrant, alright?"
Tarrant nodded again. "Thanks, Mirana. You're a good friend."