Chapter 49
I love mornings. I used to hate them, and refused to get out of bed before noon. But now, mornings are my time. They're the only time I get to myself. It doesn't happen very often, but, sometimes, I wake up hours before Naboo will, and I'm finally free. I don't think I could bear all of this if I didn't get these mornings.
I know it's all for my safety, and Naboo only does this because he cares, but I don't think he realises how hard this is. I often think about what it would have been like if I hadn't said anything about the cutting, or if I hadn't said anything at all. It would have been so much easier. Naboo wouldn't be watching me 24/7, I would be able to keep doing it, and I wouldn't have to wait for these mornings to be on my own.
I hadn't realised how much freedom I'd had until I lost it. Now that's it's gone, I know how much I needed it. Since this began, I've left the house once, and that didn't end well. I can't talk to Naboo about it, though. He'd only tell me again that it's to keep me safe, and he only does it because he cares.
A knock at the door downstairs pulls me from my thoughts. It's probably Saboo, or one of the other shamen. I know where Naboo keeps one of the keys, but he doesn't know that. Taking it out from under one of the sofa cushions, I walk downstairs, checking my hair as I go. Not bad. The shamen never mind, though. I unlock the door and open it.
"Hello, Vincent."