Chapter 50
No. No way. This is not happening. This cannot be happening. Maybe I'm dreaming. Or maybe I've finally gone completely, totally, mad.
There is no way this can be real. It just couldn't be. How could it be? How could this happen? It's impossible. I gave up on any dream of this happening. It was impossible. It still is. It's completely, utterly, impossible. Always has been, always will be. There's no point in thinking anything else. It's hopeless. I realised that years ago. I gave up.
So why is there a tiny, tiny part of me that hopes this is all real? That it's all actually happening? But it's not. I know it's not. It can't be. It's impossible. None of this is real.