A/N: I'll be updating this fanfic every Thursday or Friday! I'd adore more reviews, I've got 24 now, and that makes me feel amazing. Could you just please leave a review- good or bad- I need advice, but I need confidence boosts from you guys because after all, you're reading it!

Chapter 13
Or,
Of Assumptions, Confessions, and Progression.

Lily woke to a stabbing pain dancing its way all around her body. She groaned and opened her eyes and they landed on a very sleeping looking Sirius Black.

"Good morning, Lily-Pad." He grinned down at her. Lily rolled her eyes and stuck her finger up at him, sitting up reluctantly in her bed.

"Good?" She replied, pulling a disgusted face when Madam Pomfrey came over and handed her a potion to drink. Sirius, while Lily was resting, had told her everything what Lily had told him. She was horrified, of course, and informed Dumbledore and McGonagall of her injuries. Physically, Lily was okay. She would have a headache, and her whole body would hurt a bit, but she had no lasting physical damage. Madam Pomfrey had told Sirius all of this- it was obvious that Lily trusted him- she'd also told him that Lily wouldn't be okay mentally.

"Okay, good wouldn't be the adjective I'd use." He smiled softly. "Seriously, Lily, how are you feeling?" He asked his tone and face sincere. Lily had thought about everything while she lay in bed last night. She was pretending to be asleep to avoid talking- she'd had enough of that, as Sirius had quizzed her for about an hour- but her mind was reeling. She knew why she had been raped, that much was obvious to her, but that wasn't what she dwelled on- she couldn't help but think about Sirius. He was being so nice to her, he was actually caring about something, and that wasn't something Sirius usually did. He was so carefree, childish, and immature- but Lily knew there was something else to him, Sirius was actually her friend, and he didn't care about her being a Muggleborn. Nobody, with the exception of Slytherins, cared about it, but after she'd been raped by Severus last night, she realised that she did have people and that she didn't need to be punished. She felt a lot better than last night. And of course, there was James. James Potter had crept his way into Lily's thoughts several times last night, only to be banished by Lily's angry looked sub-conscious- she felt bad about what had happened; okay, she wasn't going to deny that James Potter knew how to kiss, it was a great kiss to Lily but… she couldn't face the truth. She was so confused; did she like James?

"Truthfully… I feel like shit, Sirius. I'm in pain, I feel dirty, and I'm hurt." She confessed, swallowing another potion which the kind nurse had left for her.

"They'll get punished, you know, Lily."

She sighed. "I know, I know. Look, Sirius, please don't tell anybody? If I have to tell people, I want it to come from me."

"I promise I won't, Lily. It'll be our little secret." He winked.

Lily laughed. "Oh Merlin, Sirius, you're bonkers." She looked up at the nurse who was waiting patiently at the bottom of her bed. "Madam Pomfrey, can I leave today?"

"If you feel okay, Miss Evans, you have my permission to leave today. However, you will need to come to me at the end of the week; I'd like to check you over again. Also, the headmaster and Professor McGonagall wish to talk to you." She made a few notes, took the empty goblets which had previously contained Lily's potions in, and then she bustled off back into her office. Professor Dumbledore, followed by Professor McGonagall, walked into the Hospital Wing and made a beeline for Lily's bed.

"Mr Black, would you please allow us to have a moment with Miss Evans, please?" Professor Dumbledore asked. Sirius nodded with a quick, worried glance at Lily- who nodded at him- and he left the wing.

"How are you feeling, Miss Evans?" Professor McGonagall asked.

"I'm okay…" She replied not meeting her teachers stare. She felt stupid. She felt dirty, tainted and pathetic- she'd never admit it to Sirius, but she just couldn't help be feel stupid for allowing those snakes to get away with it.

"You don't have to pretend with us, Miss Evans, and I doubt you even have to pretend with Mr Black." Dumbledore intervened. It's like he reads minds! Lily thought.

"I am okay; I guess I'm in a bit of pain. I think I'm more mentally in pain, than physically." She told them, rubbing her arms self-consciously.

"Explain, Miss Evans."

"I feel stupid." She said. "I'm embarrassed because I let them do to me what they did. I feel dirty, but I feel like I have to fight more."

Dumbledore smiled. "I knew you wouldn't just run away and hide, Miss Evans. But, if you don't mind me asking, who did this to you? We have Mr Black's assumption that it was Severus Snape, and his friends, but can you confirm this?"

"Yes. It was Severus. He, Lucius Malfoy was there too, as well as Avery- I don't know his first name- and Regulus Black, I think too- but don't tell Sirius that. " She bit her lip- she hadn't told Sirius that his baby brother was there, standing guard; she didn't feel like upsetting him.

"Thank you. I understand that you don't want anybody knowing?" He asked, and Lily nodded. "Very well, I understand that, but you also must understand that I have to inform you parents. They have already been sent a letter informing them that you have been involved in an accident, and that I will arrive at their home at lunchtime."

Lily nodded again. "If it isn't too much to ask, Professor, would you ask them to write me a letter? If you could, will you bring it with you on your return to school?"

"Of course I will, Miss Evans, is that all you need while I'm there?" He asked.

"Yes, thank you." She replied. The two Professors bid her goodbye, and told her to stay safe, and then she was allowed to leave the wing.

Sirius was waiting outside the Hospital Wing for her.

"Come along, my dear, we have breakfast to attend." He grinned like a Cheshire cat when Lily came out of the wing. He had decided to wait because he felt like he should. Lily would be vulnerable, whether she was willing to admit it or not, and Sirius knew he could help her by being her friend. Lily laughed at Sirius' greeting, and they made their way down to the Great Hall. They were one of the first people there, as Lily had woken early, and Sirius had not been asleep at all.

There was something unusual at breakfast.

It wasn't unusual for Lily Evans and Sirius Black to sit together at breakfast. They were normally saw near each other, and they would always be laughing and joking around with each other- it was their relationship which they shared with each other, it was a joke- but it was unusual for Sirius and Lily not to return to Gryffindor Common Room, and then to attend breakfast together.

Lily obviously wasn't dressed in her ball gown from yesterday, Madam Pomfrey had given Lily her robes which she had summoned from her dorm, and Sirius wasn't in his suit from last night either. He'd managed to charm Madam Pomfrey in doing the same for him, but Lily looked beat up, and Sirius looked shattered.

That was the unusual thing about breakfast.

James had managed to slip into the Great Hall and into the seat opposite Sirius and Lily without either of them noticing, or so he thought. Lily was very aware that James was now with them, she was just ignoring it. She knew that ignoring the problem wouldn't make the problem go away, but she really couldn't be bothered with said problem at 8 o clock in the morning, the morning after she'd just been attacked and raped by her ex bestfriend.

"Alright, Prongs?" Sirius asked with his mouth full of bacon- much to Lily's displeasure.

James rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'm just great. What about you? Where were you last night, hmm?"

"I was out." Sirius responded.

"I gathered that one, mate, but whom with?"

"Isabelle." He lied.

"Bullshit. She was in the common room last night with me."

Sirius' eyes widened. "Excuse me?"

"Isabelle was in the common room with me, she was upset over something- I don't know, I didn't pay attention." James waved his hand dismissively.

"Oh."

"So, who were you with?"

Isabelle sat down next to Lily, ready to inform her of her date with Sirius, when she replied to James' question because she could see Sirius' distress.

"He was with me." She told him.

"What?" Isabelle yelled. "You spent the night with my date?!"

"Oh not like that." Lily rolled her eyes.

"Then like what?" She demanded. Okay, the date between her and Sirius hadn't ended up brilliantly, but still.

"He was just keeping me company, Isabelle, trust me. It's not what you think." Lily replied evasively.

"Padfoot, you spent the night with Evans?!" James cried.

"It's not what you think!" Sirius yelled back.

"I don't believe you, or that whore." He jabbed a finger in Lily's direction.

"Oi, don't say that about her." Sirius warned- he wasn't about to have James call Lily, not after last night.

"Sirius, just leave it. I can't be bothered with this interrogation. I've had enough." Lily stood and climbed over the bench, sighing inwardly. Why can't I just be left alone, for once? She thought to herself.

"I'll come with you." Sirius said, standing up also.

"No, you stay. I wouldn't want to be accused of sleeping with you again." She glared at Isabelle. She was still following her strict rule of 'James Potter does not exist' so he escaped her glare.

"Wait- you said 'sleeping with you again'..." Isabelle pointed out.

Lily sighed angrily. "You're paranoid, Isabelle. I didn't want to be accused for the second time. I haven't slept with Sirius; I have no intention of ever sleeping with Sirius. You know that, surely?"

"Technically, you have slept with me. The morning of the ball you woke up in my bed." He grinned.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Yeah, now isn't the time to mention that, Sirius."

He pouted, but realised she was right. "Sorry!"

"Stop flirting." James said, as much as Lily had rejected him, he still didn't want to see her with his best friend.

"This isn't flirting, Prongs."

"I'm the king of flirting, it is." He replied.

"This isn't flirting. You're the king of idiocy if you think it is." Lily snapped. All ignoring James Potter missions aborted. He was just so bloody infuriating!

"You wouldn't know a thing about flirting." James replied, smirking.

Lily ignored him, she was tired and she- as much as she hated his guts right now- couldn't be bothered to argue with James. Her head was spinning and her previous aching of her limbs had returned. She was told by Madam Pomfrey that she had to take things slow, and she wasn't allowed to exert herself- she was only standing, but boy it hurt.

"Lily, you okay?" Sirius asked, he'd listened to Madam Pomfrey telling Lily to take things easy, he was concerned about her. She couldn't feel okay, not only after 12 hours.

"Why do you care?" Isabelle snapped.

"She's my friend, Isabelle. Believe it or not, I'm entitled to friends and to care about them."

"She's obviously not just your friend, Sirius! You didn't come to the common room last night, and neither did she."

"You're putting two and two together and coming out with five, Isabelle." Lily said. She hated being accused of something that she didn't do. If only they knew… Lily said to herself.

"Oh don't be stupid, Lily. You're jealous that Sirius wanted me. I remember when you told me to be careful with Sirius; you said he wasn't the relationship type. It's obvious now that you were saying that so you could have him to yourself!" She shouted and Lily sighed.

"I can't believe it, the sweet Lily Evans can play deviously." James smirked again.

"Oh shut it, Potter. You're just jealous because I'd rather be friends, and talk, and be with Sirius, than you." She snapped at him again. Seriously, does that guy never give in?!

James looked like Lily had slapped him and Sirius frowned. "Lily, come on, that was harsh."

"Harsh? I'm the one being harsh now? Last night was the night from hell, and now I've been interrogated all morning!" Lily wiped her eyes, tears were already starting to form and she really couldn't handle it. She was so close to blurting out her secret.

James gasped. "Oh come on, Evans, we kissing hardly can hardly come under 'the night from hell'."

Sirius nearly passed out. "You and Prongs kissed?!"

Lily had to hold back a laugh. After everything, she felt like laughing at the stupidity of the situation. "Yes, we kissed. Yes, I kissed him back. No, I don't like him. No, I don't like Sirius. No, I don't want anything to do with men ever again if I can avoid it. Now can I please be left alone?"

James rolled his eyes. "That was a bit dramatic, Evans."

Lily couldn't take it anymore. She had already been accused of sleeping with Sirius and now she'd been called dramatic. She felt so angry, and upset, nobody- with the exception of Sirius- knew about her night, how could she keep it all to herself? She felt like she was going to explode. She picked up the jug of pumpkin juice which was in front of her, and they she threw it off James- including the jug. She addressed James and Isabelle. "I am not being dramatic, James. And I don't want Sirius- I'm not some petty crush thief! You need to get a grip, the pair of you because you're so bloody pathetic!"

James looked like a drowned rat, an attractive drowned rat- if rats could be considered attractive, of course- and Isabelle was so shocked at Lily's outburst, she was gaping like a fish.

"I'm sorry, Lily…I was just so…" Isabelle began, with a look at Sirius, she stopped. "I'll tell you later, okay? We still need to talk about the ball, yet."

Lily smiled softly and turned to Sirius with a grin. "If I find out you've done anything, anything at all, I'll castrate you." Sirius yelped and crossed his legs.

For the rest of breakfast, James and Sirius were talking about Quidditch- although, James was more distracted than he usually would be- and Lily had resumed her mission of 'Ignoring James Potter'. Isabelle was just glad Sirius and Lily hadn't spent the night together, she'd had been upset if they had.

James watched Lily and Sirius intently. It was last lesson charms and they were sat together, whispering about something. Sirius looked worried- an emotion James rarely saw on his face, unless it involved Remus on full moon- and Lily looked tense. They both kept looking over at a group of Slytherins, and Lily would practically cower under Severus Snapes gaze- something that Lily Evans never did.

James hadn't slept all night, he was exhausted and he could really just do with a sleep. The professor was drowning on and on about some defensive charm- or something or other- and James was supposed to be taking notes- Charms was his only weakness, well if you didn't count potions. He still felt stupid over what had happened with Lily. He didn't understand that girl sometimes. As much as he tried and tried to prove that he did love her, and that he wasn't just messing her about, she still refused to believe him and she'd beat him down and refuse him all the time. It was so bloody infuriating. And now, she was friends with Sirius? It was obvious they shared a secret, but James just couldn't figure it out. What does Sirius have that I don't? He thought to himself.

Lily had turned her attention back to the chatty professor and Sirius had resumed his sleeping position. James quickly scrawled something on a spare piece of parchment- he'd ripped it off Remus' pile, unknown to poor Remus- and then chucked it off Lily. Quickly, as a child would do in school, he bent his head and pretended to be asleep.

Meet me in the old transfiguration classroom after this lesson, please? We need to talk. –James.

Lily frowned at the little piece of parchment in front of her. Her stomach flipped when she read it, she didn't know whether to go. What could they possibly talk about? She'd made it perfectly clear that she didn't want to date him, so why wasn't she just being left alone? Maybe he wants to talk about our friendship… She thought, well prayed, actually.

As soon as they were allowed to leave Charms, James took off for the old transfiguration classroom which he had asked Lily to meet him in- Lily, like usual, was staying behind in charms to double and triple check her notes. Lily had decided she was going to meet James, she had no reason not too, and it was bugging her because she didn't know what he wanted.

She was about to find out.

When Lily walked into the old classroom James was sat on the teacher's desk, he was humming quietly and he had already discarded his school jumper and robes- where he put them, Lily had no idea.

"Hey." She said quietly. It felt really awkward. Lily was nervous, and she really had no energy to argue.

James smiled softly. "Hey Lily, I didn't think you were coming."

"Sorry. So, what do you want?" She asked, as nicely as she could. She took a seat on the desk opposite and bit her lip; there was something about being in a room, alone, with James Potter than made her nervous.

"I wanted to talk to you, but I want you to listen to me without replying first…" He paused, glanced at Lily, and then continued. "You misunderstand me all the time, you always think I'm some sort or jerk who loves the ladies attention- yes, I've slept with several girls- but I'm not Sirius. I can love people, you know. I care for people more than you'll ever know. And I care for you, Lily…" Lily tensed and James looked shy- for the first time in Lily's school life, she'd never once saw James Potter looking shy. "I know I'm the biggest arsehole you could probably meet, I take the piss out of everybody and I have used girls just for sex before, but that's only because I haven't got the girl I want. I've wanted you since I first saw you, Lily. I've always been drawn to pretty girls- yes, Lily, you are pretty, beautiful even- but I've been drawn to you more, for some reason. You just won't give me a chance. Why? Why won't you give me a chance to prove to you that I can be decent?"

Lily sat, staring at James, with a mixture of shock and awe. He looked so sincere when he was speaking, and Lily's stomach may as well have been in the gymnastics for Olympics, as it flipping that much. "I never knew you were being so sincere when you keep asking me on dates- it never seemed like…romantic, or how dates are supposed to be requested. I've always assumed that you just wanted me because I'm the only girl to refuse you, and you're bloody charming ways that makes everybody swoon. I know you care for people, James, I'm not blind. You care for Remus, and Sirius and Peter, and I'm sure as hell you care for your family…but I can't imagine you caring for a girl. To me, somebody looking at the big picture from the outside, you've never seemed to care for a girl- you say that's because you've never got the girl, but how do you expect to get the girl when you don't show any consideration for them at all? You just use them as sex toys, James, and that's something I'd never get myself into. I can't. I won't give you the chance because I don't have enough reassurance, or…proof, to say that you won't break my heart. I'm not prepared for it again." Lily sighed sadly. She couldn't believe she'd just confessed her feelings to James Potter.

It was James' turn to look shocked. "You think I just use people for sex? It's part of nature! But, fair enough, I get your point. But Lily, will you ever give me a chance?" He looked hopeful.

Lily smiled softly. "If you can pr-"Lily's second confession was cut off by the classroom door being burst open. Severus Snape ran in, he stood with his back against the door panting and mumbling under his breath. Lily froze, and James smirked.

"Well, well, well…" He sneered.

Snape froze. "Oh. I didn't know people were in here…" He trailed off and his eyes landed on Lily. They weren't the hungry or evil eyes Lily had last saw, but they still make her shake. "Lily, oh god, I'm sorry." He started to walk towards her.

"Stay away from me!" She cried.

"No, Lily, come on. Please don't be like that. You know I'm sorry." He got even closer. Lily was shaking and she could feel the tears welling up; she couldn't face him, she was so scared.

"What's going on?" James asked, quirking an eyebrow at the pair.

After hearing his voice, Lily remembered that James was in the same room as her and Snape, she jumped off the desk which she was sitting on and stood next to James. She grabbed his hand. "James, don't let him anywhere near me, please..."

James looked at the scared girl clutching his hand so hard her knuckles were white. He couldn't ignore her request. "Snape, get the fuck out of here now because I kick you out myself. Lily doesn't want to talk to you. Piss off."

Snape, after realising James would kick him out, and Lily was probably still too shocked to even talk to him, hurried out of the room. James heard Lily exhale.

"Lils, what on Earth was that all about?" He frowned, pulling her around to face him.

Lily looked up at James. Just tell him, Lily, if you can trust Sirius Black, you can trust James Potter. He just told you he liked you! "Snape…raped me last night." She whispered.

"WHAT?"

"He raped me, James. And Sirius found me. Please don't think I was sleeping with him, I'd never do that. Oh god, I couldn't bare seeing him there, James I'm so sorry for running out on you last night and hurting you. Forgive me? I was scared, shocked…and then they found me….and he made Snape…he made him…he made him rape me." Lily cried. She was so confused now, she was so upset. James scooped her up into a comforting hug.

"Hey, sssh, it's okay. You don't need to feel bad about Sirius, or last night, Lily. I was upset because I like you, and I care for you! I shouldn't have let you run out like that! Lily, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"James, I don't know how I feel about you, and after all this with Snape, I need time. But I want you by my side, as friends, for now. Just…I ask for time."

James smiled gently and played with her hair. "I'd wait a million years for you, Lily."