Author's Note: Wow, I was blown away by the response to the last chapter! Thanks, everyone! And to those of you who thought Lisbon was being pretty selfish, hopefully she will redeem herself a little. :)

Chapter 28

Jane stopped sleeping at night, even after Cho, Grace, and Rigsby spent a week's worth of evenings setting up, testing, and adjusting a series of motion sensors and webcams to ensure no one could sneak up on them in the new apartment. They insisted on including the windows even though they were on the sixth floor, and Lisbon was confident there would be no surprise guests. And if there were, they'd at least be caught on camera.

But Jane couldn't seem to relax enough to fall asleep at night, though he made an effort to go to bed with her and be there when it was time to get up. When she woke in the middle of the night, though, she was usually alone. She hated it, although if she called out he would come back to bed until she fell asleep again. Even offering to lift the ban on sex didn't help—it was as if the healing he'd done in recent years had been reversed. He no longer seemed able to connect with her that way, to her horror.

During the day, he napped on either his brown couch or the one in her office, trusting the team with her safety enough to sleep. When they were in the field, he kept her in sight at all times, sometimes so close that she bumped into him or stepped on his foot. It was annoying, but she knew he couldn't help himself until he recovered a little from the shock he'd had. And speedy recovery wasn't among Jane's many talents.

She could only guess that part of him was trapped in the moment when he woke up to the smiley face and thought he was lying next to her corpse. She didn't know what to do about that, other than allowing him as much reassurance as she could in whatever form he needed. This was her fault, after all, she knew. She couldn't undo what was done, but she would do what she could to heal his wounds.

The wedding date was approaching, and she hoped desperately it wouldn't make things worse for him. There was no question of postponing or canceling, so they would both just have to deal with it. But she still hadn't proposed, and now she didn't know if Jane even wanted her to anymore. She wasn't sure herself sometimes, but she didn't want to make vows in bad faith. It seemed better to embrace the marriage as real, whatever challenges awaited. It wasn't like either of them was going to find someone else they'd rather be married to. And no matter how screwed up they both were, they loved and understood each other. That was a foundation they could build—and when storms came, rebuild—on.

She managed to find a dress, though she had to give up on surprising Jane since he insisted on going with her. It made the process more stressful, since he got anxious if she stayed in the dressing room too long. But his taste was impeccable, and it seemed to cheer him up when they made their choice. It was good to see him acting more normally, charming the dress consultant and making jokes with the cashier. She tried not to get her hopes up on their way home when he teasingly thanked her for picking a dress he could figure out how to take off her in under an hour. Maybe he would be okay once she put the ring on his finger, she hoped. His previous ring had meant so much to him that she was sure the new one would as well.

The rest of the team gradually lost the jittery feeling that came from a close call and began to be excited about going away for the wedding, which Rigsby had arranged to take place on a beach in the San Diego area. Grace had found them all rooms at a little boutique hotel nearby, and Cho was devoting his spare time to the question of how to ensure their security as unobtrusively as possible.

Their last day in the office before the wedding weekend, Lisbon was surprised to look up and find Stan Moore in her office doorway. She knew Jane hadn't been returning his calls, and she had ignored a few herself. "Agent Moore."

"Agent Lisbon. May I come in?" He looked uncertain of her response.

She could get away with not taking his calls, but Bertram would surely hear about it if she threw him out of her office. And he seemed chastened; losing a fellow agent would do that. "Yes," she said, her tone anything but welcoming.

He took a seat across the desk from her. Behind him, Lisbon noticed Cho, Rigsby, and Grace seating themselves at the conference table at this end of the bullpen, giving themselves a clear view into her office. A moment later, Jane strode into her office and perched on her desk, glowering at Moore.

"Mr. Jane," Moore acknowledged him.

"What do you want, Stan?" Jane asked coldly.

"I hear you've been looking into me," Moore replied. "I can hardly blame you, given how things turned out. It must have made you wonder."

"Whether you were Red John?" Jane said, as casually as if he were discussing the weather. "Yes, it did. That kind of manipulation seemed suspicious at best."

"So I thought I would make myself available for any questions you have." He leaned back and folded his hands. "It might interest you to know that my alibi for Agent Manchester's murder has been investigated, and I've been cleared of suspicion. We are working on a list of people who knew where he would be, but it's hard to be certain the people who knew didn't pass on the information, intentionally or not. But it does appear that you were correct, and that we have a mole in the FBI."

Jane made a derisive noise. "Other than Gabe Mancini and Craig O'Loughlin, you mean. I'm glad you are finally facing the truth. Too bad it took losing an agent."

"I suspected you were right all along," Moore said. "It's obvious Red John has connections, or you would have caught him by now. I'd like to point out that I am not nearly important enough to pull off half the things he's done."

"So you say," Lisbon put in, feeling it was time to take control of this meeting. "But it's not like you would brag about your connections if you are Red John."

Moore smiled, then turned to Jane. "When we first met, you warned me I wouldn't find Red John by looking at you. I'll tell you the same: you won't find him by looking at me. But I think I can find Red John by watching you, because it's obvious he keeps an eye on your movements. So in addition to clearing the air, I wanted to ask if you would consider letting me in on the location of your wedding, which I understand is this weekend."

Lisbon looked at Jane and was glad to find him looking at her, signaling that he wasn't making a unilateral decision. Although if he did, his eyes were making clear that the answer would be Hell, no. That was her initial reaction too, but Moore was making a valid point. She knew Jane didn't really believe Moore was Red John; he was just indulging in a little payback. And as invested as Red John seemed to be in this wedding, it wasn't a stretch to believe he might show up, or at least watch from afar.

"We'll have to check with our security expert," Lisbon said. "I don't want an extra person throwing him off. If he thinks he can accommodate an extra guest, we'll let you know the time and place."

"Fair enough," Moore said. "And when you get back, Lorelei is asking to see you."

"Me?" Lisbon said, shocked.

"No," Jane said instantly. "And if you think you can keep using Lorelei to cause trouble between us, Stan, you've got another think coming."

"I'm not trying to cause trouble," he assured them. "Just relaying a message."

Lisbon frowned. She couldn't imagine what Lorelei would have to say, but she could damn well say it to Jane's wife. Thinking of herself that way gave her an odd flutter in her stomach. She would have the upper hand for once. The prospect was almost irresistible. Did Lorelei know that? "We'll see," she told Moore. "We're not taking a honeymoon, so we'll be back at work next week."

It felt so weird to say that, to talk about a honeymoon like they were a normal couple and not two damaged people thrown together by a serial killer. But then, maybe all couples were damaged in some way.

Moore nodded. "I hope you can get away someday and enjoy yourselves. I know this has been a stressful time, and I'm sorry for my part in that." He rubbed at his temple. "I had no idea what would happen. If I had, I wouldn't have tried to provoke him. I thought he would send another note, or some other sign that he was unhappy. I never expected him to break in and threaten you directly." He paused, then said, "Does that strike either of you as an overreaction?"

Jane said, "He killed two people because weren't moving fast enough. So no, I don't think this was unpredictable."

Lisbon added, "You need to understand Red John a little better before trying to play mind games with him. Whatever plan he's working by making us dance to his tune, he won't allow you or anyone else to interrupt it. His disciples all talk a lot of nonsense about seeing life as it really is, but right now our reality is whatever he wants it to be. Or people die. Period."

Jane's voice was dry as he said, "Yes. And your little plan just shone a spotlight on that. Thanks for that, by the way. It's every man's dream to marry the woman he loves knowing that she's only doing it to avoid a death sentence."

Lisbon looked sharply at him, but it was Moore who spoke. "I am sorry about that too."

"Your feelings about the situation are utterly irrelevant to us," Jane informed him. "If you want to survive this, you need to get used to the idea that you're not the smarter man. He's had years to perfect his art, as he calls it. You've been a profiler for what, two years now? The only reason you got the case is that you're considered the boy genius, and the more experienced profilers didn't want any part of this."

"The best ones mostly focus on terror-related cases," Moore agreed. "Consider me taken down a peg, Mr. Jane. Or two or three, if it makes you happier. I have Manchester's death on my conscience already; I have no desire to add to that burden. But I can't ignore the fact that you are the people Red John is most interested in and communicating with on a regular basis. So as much as we would all like it, I can't promise never to darken your door again."

Let him darken it as much as he wanted, Lisbon thought, but he'd never manipulate her again. She should have listened to the part of her that had suspected it at the time. Dammit, she'd been working with Jane for more than long enough to be able to spot that. "You can promise not to pull a stupid stunt like that again," she pointed out. "Next time you come up with a plan, run it by us. Don't try to pull our strings. We have enough of that going on already."

"Agreed," Moore said. "Do you have any questions for me? If not, I'll get out of your hair. I know this must be a very busy day."

"One question," Jane said. "Whose blood was it on the door?"

Moore winced a little. "Manchester's." He noticed their reaction and asked, "You expected a different answer?"

Lisbon said, "I thought it would be the last victim's, the mother's. Since the message was for me."

"Was it?" Jane mused. "Because I certainly got the worst of it. Maybe it was for me."

"But I'm the one who called it off." Lisbon couldn't even be irritated that as usual Jane thought everything was about him, because she was so glad he was his normal self, if only for the moment.

"Oh come now, Lisbon. With all the things I've talked you into over the years, did you expect him to think I couldn't bring you around?"

The return of his old patronizing tone made her want to hug him, for once. She wondered aloud, "Why didn't he give you time to talk me back into it, then? Why not wait at least a day?"

"Maybe he thought we were colluding to get out of marrying each other," Jane said.

"Why would he think that?" Lisbon replied. "You're not the one with commitment issues."

"A last ditch effort to save you from a fate you consider only marginally better than death?" Jane said pleasantly.

Ouch, she thought. "Stop putting words in my mouth. Especially ones you know aren't true," she snapped.

Moore said, "So you think him breaking in and leaving the smiley while you slept wasn't about your breakup?"

"Oh, that was the excuse, no doubt," Jane said. "But I think he just wanted to give us a good scare. Soften me up, perhaps, for what's coming. Remind me that although I have healed enough to want to build a new life, he can destroy me again anytime he wants to. He doesn't even have to kill Lisbon, only make a credible threat to do so, and I turn into a shattered shell of a man who can't sleep and is only minimally functional in other respects."

Lisbon blinked, surprised that he'd admit it. Or wait—had it been an act? Oh God, if it was, she was going to kill him with her bare hands.

Moore looked thoughtful. "So he decided you were too happy?"

"From what we've gathered from our brief chats with his disciples, Red John isn't big on happiness. Suffering is the path to enlightenment, or some such nonsense," Jane said, waving a hand dismissively. "My being happy and ignoring him is not what he's aiming for here."

"Even though that's what he seemed to be saying originally," Lisbon said, frowning. "So you see, Jane, you were wrong. The choice isn't marrying you or dying. It's dying now or dying later, regardless of my marital state." She leaned back in her chair, trying to mirror Jane's deceptively casual attitude. "I might as well have some new jewelry to wear in my coffin."

A ripple of emotion disrupted Jane's practiced mask, and she immediately regretted her flippancy. "Is that meant to be comforting?" he asked.

"No. I'll comfort you later," she said, making it sound like a threat.

Jane grinned for the first time in what seemed like forever. "I look forward to it. Well, Stan, thanks for stopping by. We'll let you know about the wedding."

"If I don't see you there, please accept my congratulations and best wishes," Moore said to them both as he got to his feet.

Once he was gone, Lisbon raised an arm to wave the team in. "What did he want?" Rigsby asked as they settled in various chairs. Jane remained perched on her desk, apparently willing to ignore the discomfort even though there was no reason to put himself between her and the team.

Lisbon took in their disgruntled expressions. "He wants to come to the wedding."

"And you invited him?" Grace said in dismay.

"No," Lisbon said. "Cho, what do you think? Do you have enough people on perimeter?"

Jane explained, "He's not interested in the wedding. He's interested in whether Red John's going to crash it or not."

"You trust Moore?" Cho asked. "Because I'm good on the perimeter. But not if we have to watch for two people at once."

"Then no," Lisbon said, relieved. She didn't want to think about Red John during her wedding, which was why Cho had quietly recruited some people he could trust to be on the lookout. She wanted to be among friends, wanted to be happy, at least for that morning.

"Good," Grace and Rigsby muttered in unison.

"That's settled, then," Lisbon said. "Back to work. I want all reports finished so I can turn them in before I leave tonight."

mmm

Jane napped on the couch in her office the rest of the day, not waking when the team poked their heads in to let her know they were leaving. Grace was the last, giving Lisbon a brilliant smile. "I've got everything ready to go. See you down there. Don't be late for dinner, okay? Reservations are for seven."

In lieu of a bachelor or bachelorette party, they'd decided to meet for a nice dinner instead, early so they could all get some rest after the long drive and be ready for the wedding the next morning. Lisbon smiled back, genuinely looking forward to it. "We'll be there, don't worry. And Grace—thanks for everything."

"It's no trouble," she said, waving a little as she left.

Lisbon turned back to her work, hoping to wrap things up soon and go home. She wanted to talk to Jane, and the office wasn't the best place to do that.

By the time she finished, Jane was still asleep. She hated to wake him when he got so little sleep these days; as she stood over him, she saw how exhausted he looked. He could disguise it better when he was awake. It was hard to believe he'd do this to himself on purpose, but then, she wouldn't have believed he'd go as far as he had in Vegas, either. What she would believe is that it had started out real and he'd hidden his recovery for whatever reason had popped into his twisty mind. To keep Red John satisfied and away from them, she guessed.

She loved him so much it was overwhelming, keeping her on this path even though she knew it would likely end in disaster. Not that she'd come to that conviction recently. She'd known for years that she was sacrificing her career for Jane, and for months that she was willing to give everything else up for him too. But she'd been surprised by the sacrifices he'd made for her recently. He was never going to let her in on every plan he hatched, and he would probably never stop tricking her, but he'd been there for her when it counted, and that wasn't going to change. She could trust that.

His lips were slightly parted in sleep, irresistible now that she knew exactly how they felt on hers. She missed him with a fierce ache; he'd barely touched her since that terrible morning. It was so tempting to just ease herself down on top of him and go to sleep, but she knew he would probably panic about her safety if he woke up to find them in a dark and deserted office. So she knelt beside him and contented herself with a kiss.

"Mm," he hummed as he woke, returning the kiss languidly.

"Time to go home," she whispered, not lifting her lips from his.

"In a minute," he murmured, sliding a hand into her hair.

She leaned into his caress, savoring it, and put a hand on his chest to steady herself. His heart pounded away beneath it, letting her know that he wasn't as sleepy as he seemed. "Come on," she said, pulling back a little. "This is your last chance to cook dinner for your Lovely Fiancée, you know."

He grinned. "Oh, is she coming over? I've missed her."

"She's missed you too." She got to her feet and stepped back so he had room to get up. "Let's not keep her waiting."

mmm

By the time they got home, Jane had woken up fully. He'd processed some of their conversation with Moore as he'd dozed, but he had more thinking to do, he knew. And he knew that Lisbon wasn't truly interested in dinner, so he wasn't surprised when she walked straight toward their room, reaching the doorway before she realized he wasn't following.

"What are you doing?"

"Cooking dinner," he replied. "Isn't that what I'm meant to be doing?"

She gave him an exasperated look. He much preferred it to the series of worried ones he'd been getting lately. But the way her eyes narrowed told him she was on to him. "Are you asking me what you should do? Wait, let me look out the window. I've always wanted to see pigs fly."

He smiled, deciding to take the direct approach. "You've kept me waiting this long, Teresa. Why give up so close to the finish line?"

Crossing her arms, she retorted, "I was ready to give up a long time ago, partly because I was worried about you."

"You were right to be," he said. "This hasn't all been an act."

"No." She looked down, letting him know she was about to talk about something emotional. "It wasn't a surprise that you reacted like that, curling in on yourself in self-defense. I remember how you were when we met. But I would have appreciated knowing that you weren't going to stay that way for years again."

He nodded when she raised her gaze to him again. "I know. I intended it as a wedding present."

Lisbon gave an exaggerated sigh. "Then my wedding present will be not punching you for making me worry unnecessarily."

He grinned. "Just what I always wanted. Now." He clapped his hands dramatically. "What shall we have for dinner?"

"Surprise me," she called over her shoulder as she went into their room.

He got to work, deciding on something light since it was getting late. Taking off his jacket and rolling up his sleeves, he started chopping up salad vegetables.

A few minutes later, he felt a warm hand on his back. "Hey," Lisbon said softly. "You know it's not just because of Red John that I'm marrying you, right?"

"Yes," he said. "But it's nice to hear you say it." He chopped for a few seconds, then added, "And you know the same goes for me, don't you? This isn't a ruse or some kind of con. I take marriage very seriously." He hoped she would hear his unspoken question.

She must have, because she let out a long sigh and rested her forehead against his shoulder blade for a moment. "I'm not good at this," she said quietly.

"I don't need razzle dazzle, Teresa." Dammit, it had been a mistake to tell her his proposal story. Her competitive instincts were forcing her to try to come up with something creative and showy, which was not at all her forte. And they were coming down to the wire. He didn't want her stressing over proposing in addition to the wedding.

"Oh," she said, withdrawing her hand. "If I'd known that, I wouldn't have gotten all dressed up."

He turned to look at her, the knife falling from his fingers as he realized she was wearing her New Year's dress. A slow smile spread over his face without any direction from his brain. "What's the occasion?"

"Our last dinner alone together as single people." There was a sly twist to her smile that made his heart rate increase. But his anticipation was interrupted by a chill that stabbed through him, and he thought, I won't survive losing her. I don't even want to.

She saw his mood change, and her sexy smile faded. "What is it? What happened just now?" She was trying to keep the hurt out of her voice, but he read it in the slump of her shoulders.

"Every time I start to feel happy, I remember how easily he can take you away from me," he confessed. "Because that's what he does. Every time he thinks I'm happy, he takes it away from me."

She laid a hand on his shoulder. "So you plan to never be happy again?" she asked softly, her tone asking, Don't you see how silly that is?

"I don't expect you to understand. I hope you never do." It occurred to him sometimes that she might be the one to survive. He didn't know whether to wish that for her or not. She was stronger than he was; maybe she would heal, as he never had.

Lisbon sighed. "Okay. If a spoken apology is all I can do, I have no choice. I'm very, very sorry I tried to give you the ring back. I was angry. But I think I knew all along that you'd change my mind. I have a hell of a time saying no to you, in case you hadn't noticed."

"I had. But you choose the worst possible times when you do." He couldn't resist needling her a little.

She thumped him on the shoulder. "Just say you forgive me."

"Of course I do," he said, giving her a quick kiss. The touch of her lips cracked the ice around his heart, and he shivered a little. He knew from experience how much the thaw would hurt.

But he also knew he didn't want to miss out on whatever happiness they could snatch in whatever time they had.

A/N: Next up, the wedding, finally. But don't worry, this isn't a fairy tale, so it doesn't end there!