"Why don't you open up the other rooms?"

Edward glanced over to see Jacob slouching on the couch again. The wolf had taken to coming over most mornings, unannounced of course, for the last few weeks. Edward, having been completely prepared to hate the intrusion that disrupted his busy routine of self-loathing, was surprised to find that he enjoyed the man's company.

Edward knew that the darkness that he had fallen into so many times was still waiting for him. The seething blackness still existed somewhere within him, telling that he shouldn't want to see Jacob, that he should want to be alone, completely alone and completely at its mercy. It came closer to the surface when Jacob left, and was almost at the point of consuming him before Jacob returned. But something was keeping it at bay. Edward guessed, with astonishment, that it was Jacob's presence, and the alarmingly dichotomous mixture of familiar and unfamiliar that was the scent the wolf always left behind. Whatever it was, Edward was grateful.

Part of his mind was horribly guilty. He knew that he didn't deserve to be happy. He didn't deserve to enjoy any part of life, since it had been his own foolish actions that had stripped Bella of her own. He'd always hated himself in a way, whether it was because of what he was or what he had done it didn't matter. The death of his wife had only given that part of him extra ammunition.

But the rest of him told him that Bella would have hated who he had become in his darkest months. Bella had flown halfway around the globe to stop him from revealing himself, in Italy. Even after he had left her, callously casting her aside, never revealing just how much it cut him up inside to do so. She had done so with the firm belief that he would just leave again. Bella had always seen the better parts of him. Hell, she was the better part of him. He needed to stay alive for her. He'd lived on the outskirts of happiness because she would have wanted him to at least have a chance for more. He could keep going.

Her memory, the memory of her love and her willingness to sacrifice anything; that was enough to reawaken Edward's will to live.

So he was glad that Jacob continued to torment him. They were both doing it for Bella.

"Hmmmm?" Edward asked, not because he forgot the question, but to buy himself time in considering the answer.

"You've got a huge house." Jacob didn't repeat the question. He probably knows that I heard him the first time, Edward mused. "Why do you only live in two of the rooms?"

"Three." Edward corrected. The bathroom was a room, after all.

"Fine. Three."

Jacob was looking at Edward expectantly, so Edward got up from the piano and joined Jacob on one of the couches. He'd had to throw away the one that he had destroyed, and the one he'd stained, weeks ago.

Edward had been sitting in front of the piano when Jacob had come in silently. He hadn't been playing, just looking at the sheet music and the black and white keys before him, wishing that the melody would flow through his head like it used to.

Now, sitting with Jacob, he shrugged.

"It's not my house."

Jacob gave him a looked that clearly conveyed that he didn't understand.

"I have my room, and the communal areas. The rest are my family's rooms. It wouldn't feel right taking their personal spaces. There is no need for me to use the kitchen, obviously," Edward continued, with a quick gesture towards the closed door that lead to that particular facility. "So I only need the three rooms."

"I think I understand what you're saying, but man," Jacob looked around himself with something akin to awe. "If I had a house like this I would be using every square inch."

Edward just shrugged. Jacob couldn't understand what it was like to be part of a family like his.

No, Edward thought, that's probably not true. Jacob had his pack. That's the closest thing to his own clan that he could think of. They were all from different places, all completely unique individuals, who share something that can't really be explained by outsiders who witness it. A family, Edward thought.

Jacob had a new pack. Edward hadn't spoken about the new group of youngsters, and Jacob had only even mentioned them briefly. Edward severely wished that he had the ability to leave, but no matter how much he was slowly improving, he wasn't recovered that much. He knew that it was selfish, to hold onto the fading presence, Bella's ghost, when his being in Forks was uprooting children from their lives, but he couldn't think about going. Not yet.

He felt guilty, since the pack was his fault, so he didn't ask Jacob about them. Thinking about it now, though…

They were his family. Jacob was probably extremely fond of them, and fantastically proud. He and Jacob didn't always talk, mostly they both just sat there and stared into the distance, but now Edward considered all of the casual mentions that Jacob had dropped into their casual conversations. He supposed Jacob wouldn't mind talking about the kids in his charge.

"How's the pack going?"

Jacob's face brightened, but Edward couldn't help but notice the way the man's shoulders tensed slightly. Edward had never needed to study body language to know if he was being lied to. He'd just read someone's mind. But even he couldn't miss the obviously unconscious stress reaction.

Edward had been right, Jacob was more than just willing to talk about the pack, he was overly enthusiastic. Edward watched and listened, surprised to see that the wolf's posture never relaxed. When Jacob spoke he stared blindly across the room, not looking at Edward, but Edward could still read the emotions playing out on his face. Odd, Edward thought, as he took it all in.

He didn't interrupt Jacob as he spoke. It seemed to Edward that Jacob had been collecting all of this information; stuff about the pack dynamics, how fast they were learning what he was teaching, all of it; but had had no one to share it with. It was a lot of information, and Jacob was probably driving himself slightly mad going over it alone.

Edward continued to watch as the man spoke. He caught himself thinking fondly of the man before him, it was impossible not to when hearing the fond way he spoke of his family. Edward knew that Jacob was a good man. It had been easy to ignore sometimes, but he had never doubted it. Watching Jacob animatedly describing the prank that one of his boys had pulled, Edward was struck by the sudden hope that they could be friends. He had only ever viewed Jacob as a threat. As an enemy, as a rival or as a means to an ends. But now, now that all of that was over, and Jacob had come back smelling less like a wet dog, maybe they could be friends.

The hope, stronger than the ghostly emotions that had been fuelling Edward's rage and depression, caught him by surprise, and without thinking, he welcomed it into his consciousness. A friend. That would be nice.

Edward continued to watch. Jacob's hands began gesticulating, his gestures growing wider and more impressive as he spoke about each of the wolves in turn. Still, the stress lingered in his posture. As Jacob described them, he shot a look towards Edward. Edward took note, but allowed Jacob to continue. He tallied up all of the subject that had caused Jacob to display excessive stress. Jacob had helped him out, now he would do what he could to return to favour. Jacob needed to talk about something, something that he was keeping couped up, and Edward was going to help him, if he could.

The Cullens had some rough patches in their history. Not everyone liked the idea of vegetarian vampires. They had had their share of…difficulties. Edward, being the mind-reader, had been the default choice for interrogator. In his role, he'd learnt that information had a way of just pouring out, if one knew which vein to tap.

Jacob finished speaking. Edward saw him relax. Edward thought about everything that he knew about Jacob. How would he react to direct questioning? Should Edward just make general enquiries? Edward thought about just taking his chances, and jumped in with a casual comment.

"It sounds like this group diverges a fair bit from your legends."

Jacob smiled.

"Yeah, we've never heard of a group like it."

Edward didn't know quite how to approach any tricky subjects, so he followed his own curiosity.

"Do you know why they're so unique?"

Ah, Edward thought, as the stress returned. This was something that Jacob didn't want to talk about. Perfect. Edward couldn't help the man until he opened up.

"They have some theories." Jacob didn't offer anything else. Edward noted the exclusive language. They, not we. Not I.

"Oh really?" Edward pressed, trying to sound casual but coming out with over the top aversion. Luckily, Jacob didn't notice.

"Yeah." Jacob sighed. Edward didn't press again.

Carefully holding his breath, Edward waited. If Jacob was going to talk, then he was going to talk. There was only so much Edward could do. Jacob did want to talk, but actually opening up was hard. Edward just wanted to help.

Edward could feel his excitement rising. Whatever it was that Jacob was not saying, there was a thrill in wanting to know. There had been little that the average mind could keep from him in the last century or so, and this…blank slate that Jacob's mind had become, Edward's curiosity was insatiable.

If he and Jacob did become friends, perhaps Jacob would trust him with the truth behind his new found power.

Edward almost smiled when Jacob began talking again, but managed to keep his emotions from registering on his face. He didn't want Jacob to think that he was laughing at him.

Edward actually respected Jacob. He had always respected some things about the man, even though he had rarely trusted him, and mostly hated him.

Now that they had formed an unlikely and unstable alliance, and since Jacob had done so much to help him, he didn't want to scare the man off, make him think that Edward was mocking him.

"They think that it's me."

"You?"

"Yeah. They…" Jacob seemed to be thinking, still considering whatever it was that 'they' had told him. It was obvious to Edward that something about this explanation made Jacob uncomfortable. "They think that because I never stopped shifting, because I stayed a wolf, that that somehow helped the new pack. It's the only halfway decent explanation that they could come up with."

"No one from your community has ever put off changing back like you have?"

"No." Jacob smiled and chuckled softly. "They never had a reason to."

"Oh."

Edward knew all too well what Jacob's reason had been.

"I suppose that makes sense."

"I suppose." Jacob echoed, still obvious distracted by his thoughts.

"What do you think?"

Jacob looked up at him, taken aback. He obviously wasn't asked his opinion much these day. And he had always been so willing to give it, Edward thought.

"Me?"

"Yes you. You said that 'they' think that's why your pack's different. What do you think?"

"I don't know. I can't think of any other reason, other than just dumb luck."

"Why don't you agree with them?" Edward watched as Jacob displayed aversion patterns. This was touching on the heart of the problem.

"I don't know."

"You can trust me, you know. It's not like I can tell anyone."

Jacob still looked like he didn't want to share with a vampire.

"I'm sorry if I'm being a bit blunt. It's just that I haven't had a conversation like this for a very long time. It's kind of fascinating to me." Edward looked down at his hands, as if he were embarrassed by his own actions. The vulnerability that he showed seemed to do the trick.

"I don't think that I will be a good leader." Jacob's voice was soft.

Edward had guessed that was the problem. He had been inside Jacob's mind, the man had a well hidden inferiority complex. e suspecte

He had suspected, half a century ago, that his inferiority complex had been what had stopped Jacob from realising his own potential as an alpha. Even now, even after training and honing his skills for decades, Jacob couldn't see his own strength. He would believe that he was going to do wrong by the boys, that he didn't know enough to help them.

And then Jacob would probably take the opposite view into consideration as well. He'd see the bad in having changed too young, as well as the disadvantages of his actual age. He would think of his advanced years as a chasm between himself and the young people. Say that he had been young too long ago, and that he had forgotten how to relate to a younger generation.

Edward knew that Jacob was wrong. Whatever he had thought about the man when they met, and all of the judgements he had made since then, Edward had known all along that he was dealing with a born leader. There was something about Jacob that made people want to stand behind him. And it wasn't just his impressive physique.

"You're wrong." Edward said. Jacob didn't question, just continued staring at his hand. Probably categorising all of the reasons why he should pass the pack onto someone else, Edward mused. "You're meant to be a leader."

"But-"

"All leaders make mistakes." Edward supplied, trying to pre-empt whatever it was that Jacob had been about to say.

"I know. I know that no one is perfect. Everyone blames the leaders when things go wrong, and things will almost always go wrong. But I'm still sure that I'm not the right person for these boys."

"You're the only person." Jacob scoffed at the throwaway phrase. Apparently it wasn't that simple.

"Packs don't usually form on the back of a pre-existing wolf. The first person who changes is usually the alpha. Or one of the others will turn and then take their place. People learn on the job, you don't get to have experience. It's always worked in the past. Why should this group be any different?"

"Because it is different. They have you, were no group has ever had someone like you to guide them. You know more about what they're becoming than they will be able to accumulate in their lifetime."

"But that's just it. I've been a wolf longer than anyone. And I haven't been a man. I certainly haven't been a good man. I lived on hate. I dragged myself into the wood, faced excruciating pain, so that I wouldn't age, so that I could bring back the wolf. I don't think that that's the sort of experience that should be shared with these kids. They're probably never even going to meet a vampire!" Edward didn't say anything. Although there was no blame riding on the words, Edward could feel the implications lacing Jacob's words.

All of the emotion that Jacob had faced, all of the pain that he had endured, it was just another chalk line on Edward's blackboard. Another crime.

The pack would never meet a vampire. Their change was completely superfluous. And it was all because Edward wasn't strong enough to leave this town. Because he'd been weak enough to return.

Jacob glanced at Edward. It obviously hadn't been his intention to make Edward uncomfortable. Jacob looked as though he were about to reach forward and console Edward, but Edward held up his own hand to stop him from making the physical connection, He didn't deserve Jacob's reassurance. After all that he had forced him to do.

The least that he could do was listen, and see what he could do to help. Even if Jacob's words had made him realise that he was not the right person to be hearing this.

"These things, what you've done," Edward began slowly, hoping that Jacob would be willing to listen. "They don't make you a bad person. Darkness, anger; they're seductive. There is still so much good stuff that you can teach them. If you can block me, you might be able to block other vampires-"

"But I can't-"

Jacob seemed intent on talking himself out of his position as alpha. Perhaps going along with him was the best tactic at the moment. Show Jacob how preposterous the suggestion was.

Edward remembered when Jacob had been talking about the boys. There was only really one candidate for alpha, if Jacob were going to give up the position.

"You think that he's up to it?"

"Who?"

"Who do you think? Jack. He's obviously going to be the alpha."

Jacob looked uneasy with the concept.

"I'm not going to stop being the alpha."

Edward was confused. What had they been talking about, if it wasn't Jacob relinquishing his rightful place as the head of the pack? It was so difficult and confusing when he couldn't just read someone's mind to understand what they were going on about.

"But you said-"

"I'm not stupid," Jacob paused, as if he expected Edward to argue. When Edward said nothing, Jacob just continued. It was a mark of how far they had come as acquaintances, that Edward had been able to hold his tongue. "I know that I can't leave now. I wouldn't want to. But the kids should have someone who understands them. Someone who can help them with anything, not just wolf problems."

"Why can't you be that person?"

Jacob shot him an exasperated look.

"I've lost count of how many years I've lived." Jacob said nothing else, as if that was explanation enough.

"So have I."

"But that's differe-"

"Don't say that it's different. I've been living for a lot longer than you Jacob. And I spent most of my time in high school. So don't talk to me about trying to relate to people who are a fraction of your age. I've been there, and believe me, I've done that."

Jacob's smile was a concession to the truth of Edward's words.

"So you know that you're different. You know that you don't think the way that they do. But you can still help them. They are still facing the same problems that you did, when you were their age."

"I wish it were that easy."

"Believe me, it is."

Jacob didn't look relieved by Edward's words. When Edward studied Jacob again, he saw that the stress had barely diminished at all, despite the information that had already been shared. Apparently, whatever was bugging Jacob, it wasn't just his alpha status.

Jacob had already opened up, so Edward felt pretty confident using direct questions.

"What is it?"

Jacob's look clearly said, what do you mean? Edward could see the signs, though, that told him he was close to the mark.

"There's something else that's troubling you. I know you, better that either of us might like. You can tell me. If it's something with the pack. Like I said, I spent a lot of time around teens."

Jacob was still hesitant. Edward could see him weighing up his options. He obviously had no one else he could share this with, but it was still Edward that he was speaking to, and no doubt every natural instinct was telling him that the vampire is not to be trusted. Edward waited, hoping that Jacob would continue to be open with him. It was wonderfully refreshing, after being trapped in a house of denial, only to escape to a house of ghosts.

"One of the boys, Sam…" Jacob trailed off, but Edward knew that there was little either of them could do to stop the words from coming.

"The grandson of your old alpha?"

"Yeah. He came to speak to me the other day."

Edward waited. Jacob seemed to be having trouble with the words. Instead, Jacob sent him the memory.

While Jacob had been telling him about the pack, he had been letting a few stray thoughts through his shield. It was difficult to concentrate on keeping his thought in line when he was opening up, it seemed. As a result, Edward had seen the faces of all the boys.

He recognised Sam as he appeared out of the woods near what he supposed was Jacob's house on the reservation. He watched the memory transpire. Jacob had sent this thought intentionally and Edward marvelled at the detail of it. This memory came with a great clarity. This was obviously something that Jacob had spent a lot of time thinking about.

He supposed that this method of sharing was easier for Jacob, but the man still hung his head in his hands while Edward watched the thought. And re-watched it. No doubt, Jacob felt like he had just betrayed Sam's trust. With a vampire.

Edward was glad that he had. This was obviously something that had been eating him up from the inside. Edward didn't quite understand why though.

"Oh." He said, thinking that he should say something, but not knowing what should be said.

"That's what I said." Jacobs said as he straightened up and took his head from his hands.

"You're helping him keep it from the rest of the pack."

Jacob nodded. "He asked me to. He's worried about what they will think."

"What do you think?"

Jacob merely shrugged.

"Things like this, they have a way of coming out, whether you want them to or not. Especially in this situation." Edward contributed. "He should tell them. Chances are they already know."

Jacob frowned. He obviously thought that the rest of the group was completely clueless. Not very likely.

"Well, is there anything I can do to help?"

Jacob actually snorted.

"Yeah, I suppose not," Edward amended. "You should be able to deal with this, though. I mean, what did you do when you were in his position?"

"I-" Jacob seemed to register what Edward had said.

Edward knew, a second before it happened, that he had said something wrong. Jacob panicked, staring wide eyed at Edward. He jumped up, backing away from the vampire with his arms outstretched, as if he were warding off an actual attack. Edward began to rise, to reassure Jacob that it was okay, he didn't have to leave. But Jacob turned and flew out the door. He was gone before Edward could even open his mouth.

Edward tried to figure out what he'd done wrong. He followed Jacob's scent out the door, staring out at the expanse of trees into which the man had disappeared.

A beautiful car was still resting in the driveway. Jacob's, Edward thought.

Shit.

The boy had obviously shifted, unable to contain the emotions that had suddenly sprung up. Edward remembered the terror that he had seen on Jacob's face, still trying to figure out when the conversation had gone awry.

Then it hit him.

Shit.