Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation. Maki Murakami does.
Prompt: The first song Shuichi writes and performs after the attack, assuming he told Yuki he was only beaten.
Rating: T for dark thoughts, implied rape, and safety.
Beloved Snow
The lights over the Club-House stage dimmed as the final notes of Glaring Dream faded from hearing. The gathered crowd roared with awed approval of the freshly performed song, the excited words filling the large building with a steady, pleasant hum. With the album release still months away, Bad Luck's performance of their two released singles was a fix fans avidly appreciated, even if was only a performance for NG-Pro's showcase.
"Go on, Shuichi." The pink-haired teen jumped slightly as Hiro pushed gently against his back, urging him toward the mic once more. "If you're still sure about this...?"
"I-I am," he stuttered, and then shook his head, clearing it. There was no need for stage fright -- the fans would love a new song. And Yuki had once again denied his invitation for the concert, so he really wouldn't be here. And that was okay, this time ...
"Then go on," his best-friend urged again. "I'll help Fujisaki set up." Another push, and he was once again at the front of the stage, and of the crowd's attention.
It was now or never.
"Ohayo, everyone," he called out softly, and the crowd quieted, eyes turning expectantly toward Bad Luck's lead singer. The lights were suddenly bright under their scrutiny, and his hand shook violently as it clutched the microphone. Do this, do this. "I know that we are supposed to perform The Rage Beat next. However, that ... well ... we're not going to be doing that." An instant protest shot up, the outrage of the fans clear and resonating. He winced at the sudden verbal attack, lowering his head as he threw his hands in the air. "Please, please! Instead, we're going to be performing an all new song, just written and not even released. Beloved Snow." Sparked interest, the crowd began to quiet down. "I would not dream of shorting any of you out on a song," he assured softly, head still bowed. "Would it be alright with you all if we performed it instead? It's really different from the others, and I want your opinions."
Please?
A general murmur of ascent, a few grunts of dissatisfaction. And then a large outcry of demand from the back that was quickly picked up from its enthusiasm, overwhelming any protests that were being given. The decision was made, and the crowd grew tense with anticipation, none able to see the small, sad smile forming on the singer's face as he nodded.
"Arigato," he whispered sincerely, and then turned. "Hiro? Fujisaki?"
Now or never.
The lights over the stage gave up their mutlicolored show in favor of an extremely shadowed icy-blue, bathing Bad Luck in an overcoat of chill as the keyboard began to strike soft, haunting notes. The crowd grew silent as the guitar joined in, eyes hypnotized as Shuichi began to hum with the music, his slight form rocking with each chord. Instrumentally alone it was the polar opposite of The Rage Beat, but when the teen lifted his head and opened his mouth, it became quite clear what he meant by "different".
A coffin of glass for all to see dying innocence
Trapped, suffocating, the pure white is a facade
Marks of pleasurable sin tarnished by bruises of punishment
I have fallen the grasp on the yellow ribbon
Save you now.
Flashes are secrets best left untold
Tears of Rain wash away their want for you.
Cheap touches, whispers, a battered soul thrown to the cold.
Victorious, because though they broke the Rain, they will never touch the Snow.
It was haunting, lonely. Love poured from each note, as usual, but there was something else. Something deeper ... darker. Shuichi could feel the familiar tingle of passion in his spine as the words left his mouth, aching to arch. His body shivered with agony with every word as harsh, suppressed memories began to come forward. Tachi's face, the threats, the pain, the violation.
A rose dies as bitter green fire burns its skin
Alone, the fallen have no need for white charades
What has one to do with the other in a game of cruelty and judgement?
I bite back my longing for the yellow ribbon
Save you now.
Laughter says secrets won't be untold
The Rain will always be a shield for you
Painful cuts, bleeding, tarnish the cold ground below
But murmurs from the Rain promise no sorrows for the Snow.
As practiced, Fujisaki faded out with Shuichi's voice, and suddenly Hiro was in the light. His guitar began to rage and wail, its anthem that of fury and despair. The passion building with each strum until it was at its climax. And then Shuichi threw himself back onto the microphone, crying out the lyrics as though he were screaming them from his soul. He could feel the tears burning in his eyes, but he would not let them fall. Not yet. Not yet.
I will cry my tears in the cloak of night
Scream my fears in the roar of the crowds
The demons of nightmares grab me with harsh hands
Why is it so wrong to want to be with the person I love?!
Abandon, abandon, stay locked lonely in the still grave
Sobbing, screaming, the glass begins to crack and break
Roses wither, the fallen cry as the white is stained with tears of blood
I beg for the safety of the yellow ribbon
Save me now!
Abruptly, the guitar cut off and Hiro faded back into the shadows, leaving only Shuichi on the stage, his shaking form hunched over the mic stand he clutched to for dear life, face once again hidden from view. For a moment, he simply stood there, panting, collecting himself. And then the keyboard started playing again, it's soothing notes of depression. He let the music travel up his spine once more, and finally arched, throwing his head back in unadulterated emotion.
.Flashes are secrets Rain made untold
But its selflessness is failing now.
Weak before, it is falling now, a mournful and unwanted existence.
Yearning for cool, loving protection of the Snow.
Finally, he let his neck straighten, looking the crowd dead in the eye, though he focused on no one as the final words fell whispered from his mouth.
Rain becomes Snow when chilled by Life
But tell me, please.
Can Snow learn to love Snow?
Save me now.
Save me.
The lights blacked out entirely upon the last word, and finally his tears fell as the crowd went wild.
-_______-
They both stood there, hidden against the shadows of the walls, a perfect view of the stage as Bad Luck finished their surprise performance, quiet until it finished and cut the band from sight. When the crowd began to cheer, Touma Seguchi sighed and turned toward his guest.
"Do you understand my concern now, Eiri?" He inquired lowly. "Do you see? Shindou-san..." He fell silent, unable to describe his observations in words, and simply gestured hopelessly to his brother-in-law.
Golden eyes flashed.
Song written by me.
Let me know what you're thinking, please? :)