Hello! Thank you, thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter! I figured after my super-long absence, everyone would lose interest in reading this and would move on to other things, so your reviews were a huge encouragement to me! I'm incredibly grateful!

A large, but unrelated announcement: the new Corda anime, La Corda d'Oro Blue Sky, will begin airing in Japan on April 5th! I'm not sure who's planning to subtitle it, but considering that this fandom hasn't had anything new happen in quite a while, hopefully it'll bring in a fresh wave of interest!

Also, Happy White Day! I didn't plan to upload this chapter to coincide with the holiday, but I guess it works out. Although…no one gave me chocolate on Valentine's Day, so I'm not sure I can call this chapter a return gift. XD Either way, I hope you'll enjoy the chapter!

Oh, uh, a quick, little glossary of terms:

- ohashi = chopsticks; I grew up calling them that, so it feels wrong to say, "Chopsticks"

- wakame = wet seaweed found in Japanese soups such as miso soup

He was gone.

Kahoko gazed sadly into her cup of pale yellow tea as the dehumidifier hummed in the background. She felt empty and hurt, unrelentingly and everywhere all at once. She hadn't known it was possible to feel like this. Guilt and shame filled her the instant she completed the thought. She had no right to complain. She had made him go.

She closed her eyes painfully. Deep down, she hadn't really wanted him to go, even if she had yelled at him for over an hour—maybe two—to leave. She wrapped her arms around herself tightly and felt the tears gather. But it was too late now, wasn't it? She had given into her fears and driven him far, far away so he couldn't touch those places in her. And now he was gone. Just like she'd asked.

Would she ever see him again?

The question made her hollow. After such a sound rejection, no one could blame him if he never wanted to set eyes on her. But even so, how would she deal with the emptiness? She couldn't forget. She didn't want to forget.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. There was one thing she wanted to forget.

She clenched her fists in self-loathing. She had hurt him. She had destroyed him the way only she had the power to do. She hadn't needed to see his face to know. It had been in the defeated way he had left and the way his voice had shook, in that stricken tone she'd put in his voice that haunted her every waking moment.

"It was a mistake! Being with you was a mistake!"

The sounds on the door stilled for a short while as he stood stunned by the declaration. "You-you don't mean that." The unsteady words came hoarsely through the door. His voice cracked with desperation. "Tell me you don't mean that!"

She ruthlessly pounced on the opening and exploited it. "I never should have gotten involved with you! It was the worst decision I could've ever made!"

He sounded like he'd been sucker punched in the gut. "These last few months…I thought…I thought you were happy—"

"It was all a mistake! A ridiculous impulse! We never should have been together!"

"Ka-Kaho-chan…" his voice was broken.

"There's nothing for you here! There never has and never will be, so go away and leave me alone!"

She dropped her head in her hands. How could she have said such terrible things?!

"Mama…."

She turned to look at her son. He was all ready to go play with his friends.

He hesitated before finally voicing the question that had been plaguing him for almost two weeks: "Where has Kazuki-san been?"

"Oh, Yuji…" she opened her arms and let him scramble into them. It looked like she couldn't avoid it any longer. "Mama made a mistake," she whispered as she held him tight, "a horrible, horrible mistake." The tears rolled down her cheeks as she buried her face in his spiky bed of hair. "She-she hurt Kazuki-senpai very badly, and-and she's not sure if he'll ever come back."

His brow furrowed, not understanding. "Why wouldn't he come back? You two love each other."

"I know," her voice came out muffled as she squeezed him even harder. Knowing didn't ease her suffering; it made it worse. "But sometimes…" she bit her lip as she remembered the angry words and panicked cries, "it's just not that simple." Two fresh, drops trailed down her face. "Sometimes it's not enough."

Before he could respond, the doorbell rang.

"You'd better get going," she murmured, gently nudging him onto the floor so she could walk him to the door. She opened the door and let the damp, August heat wash over her. "Have fun!"

With a worried look, he opened his mouth as if to say something before closing it. "I'll see you later," he waved dubiously and followed his friend down the corridor.

"Alright," she answered back with a sad smile. As she closed the door, she looked around their apartment and sighed. Looks like she was right back where she'd started.

She stared blankly out the window. "Where are you?"

=.=.=.=

"Why am I tormenting myself like this?" Kazuki wondered in misery as he stared blankly at the ring. He should have chucked it, or pawned it off, or at the very least left it at home where it would be out of his sight. Why was he keeping himself within reach of what would always remind him of her? It certainly didn't make the ache in his heart lessen. But deep down, he knew why.

He fisted his matted hair in frustration at his weakness. No matter how many times he told himself he had, he hadn't yet accepted that it was over. Like a fool. It really couldn't get any more final: she had rejected him, and the pain of it left him hollow.

"'I love you, but…'." No—he shook his head—he couldn't understand that. Love meant that anything was possible because you worked together to make anything possible. Love meant sharing with and relying on and trusting one another. If her love had been real, she'd have understood that.

"Up early, Kazuki?"

As a hand touched his shoulder, he turned to his brother. "You know me…full of energy." He smiled weakly at him, evading the question.

Haruki returned the smile while assessing him behind guarded eyes. Full of energy? What a joke; he'd barely been able to pull himself out of bed before two for the last three weeks. He was a lifeless, wounded mess. "Whatever came between him and Hino—No," he corrected, "Takashina-san," because he was sure this had something to do with her, "sure did a number on him."

"How about some lunch?" He slung an arm over his shoulders before Kazuki could answer and railroaded him to the kitchen.

"Thanks, but I'm not really hungry, Bro."

"You haven't really been hungry for three weeks," Haruki grunted. "And it has to stop." He stared his little brother down with a look that dared him to defy him. "You're my brother, and I'm tired of watching you waste away before my eyes."

"I'm not wasting away!" Kazuki cried indignantly, shrugging his brother off and stalking over to fetch himself a bowl—just to prove a point.

"Keep telling yourself that." Haruki rolled his eyes as he ladled out some miso soup his wife had left for them to eat while she and the kids visited their grandparents for the weekend. "There's nothing worse than having someone moping around feeling sorry for himself underfoot."

"Well, if I'm such a nuisance, then I'll just leave," Kazuki retorted heatedly as he set the soup on the counter, fully intent on heading back to pack his things. School started in a couple weeks anyway.

"You're not going anywhere until you get your head back on straight," Haruki barked as he yanked his brother to the table and smartly plopped the soup in front of him. Holding a pair of ohashi, he threatened, "I don't want to do it, but I'll feed you if that's what it takes. You're going to eat a whole bowl of something if I have to pour it down your throat."

Snatching the ohashi, Kazuki muttered darkly as he picked up some tofu and wakame and shoved them in his mouth. The meal passed in relative silence as Kazuki choked down the food. After three weeks of eating almost nothing, it was hard to stomach so much coming in at once.

The instant Kazuki successfully finished the bowl, Haruki cut to the chase. "So why are you here anyway?"

"Geez, you really know how to make a guy feel welcome. I'm not allowed to visit my brother and his family during summer vacation?"

"If you think I believe that, you're dumber than you look," he scoffed. "You're running from something." His face softened as he placed a hand on his brother's shoulder. "What's wrong, Kazuki? I've never seen you so miserable in my life. And considering what happened after that trip you took to Europe, that's saying something."

"She didn't want me," he burst out in a rush before stopping up short and closing his eyes. Oh, the words hurt. But maybe, it was time to say them aloud. Maybe if he could do that he could make himself accept it, and he could start to close the door. He sighed, "At least…not really, or not enough…I don't know which. She won't share things with me. She won't let me in."

Haruki frowned. "So what happened?"

"I asked her to marry me."

"And she said no?" he asked in bewilderment.

"And she said no," Kazuki confirmed. He sighed. "Maybe it was too fast. I mean we've only been together for a few months—"

"Don't be stupid," Haruki snapped. "You two were dating in just about everything but name both back in college and after you found each other again." He frowned again. "She really said no?"

"It might be more accurate to say that she said no and started panicking and crying and saying all sorts of weird things."

"Like what?"

"Like, 'I can't do it again,' and, 'I'm no good for you,' and, 'We can't make it work.'" He ran a hand through his hair with sad eyes. "Somehow this has something to do with Takeshi-san."

"Her husband?"

Kazuki nodded. "She also said she didn't want everything to be taken away from her again." He frowned grimly. "I think she blames herself for his death for some reason. I don't really know many details. She never wanted to talk about it even when we went to visit the grave earlier this year for his memorial."

Haruki winged up his left eyebrow. "If you know why she turned you down, then what're you doing here?"

"What good does possibly knowing do me?" Kazuki pouted. "It's not like just because I know, she'll magically change her mind."

"But you can try and fix it."

"I'm fighting against a dead man! What if she vowed to stay true to him or something?"

Haruki rubbed his temples. "If you actually believe that, then you really are a—what did she call you again? Oh yes, a grass-for-brains imbecile." He gave his brother a serious look. "Maybe she's afraid to get too close because then she can lose. Don't you believe she loves you?"

"Not enough to believe we could work through her fears together or to even let me try to understand," he answered softly. He buried his head in his hands. "I love her—always have and always will—but I don't know if I have the strength to go back."

"Then try harder."

"That's easy for you to say," Kazuki accused petulantly. "Moe-san loves you and was willing to marry you."

His shoulders hunched in suffering. "If Kaho-chan doesn't want my feelings, there wouldn't be anything left for me." His eyes darkened in despair. "And there's a very high possibility she doesn't want them or me. Why risk hearing it again? She's already made it clear she doesn't want anything to do with me."

"You know that's not true."

Defeat deadened his voice and eyes. "Do I?"

"Well you would if you bothered to look at your cellphone at all over these past few weeks." Haruki held up the device in question. Scrolling through the recent calls and inbox, he listed, "Forty missed calls, twenty-five voice messages, and twenty emails all from Kahoko Takashina." He pinned his little brother with a look. "That sure doesn't sound like someone who wants nothing to do with you."

Kazuki shook his head sadly. "She probably just wants to apologize. Just because she's sorry for ending things the way she did doesn't mean it's not over."

"All that for an apology?"

"She'd want to apologize in person or over the phone; that's just the way she is."

"Because she cares about you," Haruki stated simply.

"I'm her friend, why wouldn't she care?" Kazuki countered in exasperation.

"And what about you?" Haruki asked levelly. "Is she still your friend?"

He gawked at his older brother, stunned.

He was doing it again, wasn't he?

He was running scared. After all the vows and promises he'd made, despite knowing how miserable life was without her, he'd run at the first real sign of trouble.

His heart burned in disgust at himself. He really needed to stop being a coward about the things most vital to his life. If his love hadn't been enough to break down the walls of fear she'd thrown up around herself, then he'd just have to find more to give her until they gave way. If he wanted to be her strength, he had to stand his ground. Maybe it was a crazy, losing battle, but as long as she and Yuji needed him, he wanted to be there for them. His heart clenched. If he wanted forever, he needed to fight for it.

He balled his fists and bolted to his feet. What was he still doing here? "I have to go," he breathed out in a rush. He needed to find them.

Haruki hooked a finger in his collar, bringing his scrambling baby brother to a halt before he could run to the guest room. "I'll pack and drive you to the station; you take a shower." He wrinkled his nose. "Believe me, you'll both thank me."

=.=.=.=

She had forgotten what loneliness felt like. She'd forgotten about the aching emptiness, how tiring it was to constantly fight down gasping sobs, the joyless smiles required to maintain a façade of strength. Now she remembered them all too well. What she wouldn't give for someone to come and temporarily banish her isolation.

Staccato knocks loudly sounded. "Kaho?" Noriko's voice filtered through the locked door.

Kahoko groaned softly. "Except for her."

"I know you're there! Let me in!"

With a sigh, Kahoko rose to open the door. Apparently both Noriko and their mother had decided Kahoko had had enough space, so she might as well bow to the inevitable.

As Noriko stepped in, she surveyed her sister with critical eyes. She was still every bit as pale as their mother said she'd been when she'd so suddenly shown up on their parents' doorstep the night of the party. The pallor only accented the smudges of sleeplessness under her eyes. She looked haunted and eaten alive with guilt. "She hasn't been sleeping much," Noriko noted. "At least she's been eating. Although, that's probably only thanks to Yuji."

She wasted no time in getting down to business. "You look terrible."

"Thanks," Kahoko sighed. "What brings you here?"

"We need to talk," she stated shortly, dragging her over to the couch. "What happened?"

"When?"

"Don't play stupid." Noriko crossed her arms. "The night of the party, what happened?"

"We broke up." Her voice sounded dead to her ears.

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because what?"

"Do you need a reason?"

"Yes."

"Because we got into a fight."

"About what?"

She looked away. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Well, that's just too bad."

Noriko sighed and pulled Kahoko into her arms. "Tell me what happened," she murmured gently. "You look so miserable."

"I got scared, so I pushed him away," Kahoko whispered. "I-I said being with him was a mistake! That-that it was the worst decision I'd ever made!" She choked down a sob. "He was so hurt and angry and…and…." She just shook her head, unable to say any more.

"Shh…shh…it's okay. Deep breaths," she soothed. "What scared you?"

She hesitated for a moment. "He…asked me to marry him."

"And you said no?!" Noriko gaped at her. "Why?! Are you stupid?! You've been in love with each other since forever!"

Kahoko ran her fingers through her hair in agitation. "But…but Takeshi-san…."

"What does he have to do with Hihara-kun?" she frowned. "It's not like you pledged to remain loyal to him or anything."

"I made such a mess of things the first time!" she agonized.

"You can't keep blaming yourself for Takeshi-san's death, Kaho," Noriko stated in exasperation. She thought they were over this. "There wasn't anything more you could do. You took him to the hospital the instant the symptoms started to look severe."

"I should have sensed something was off or something. Even if it started out as cold symptoms, it was a pretty bad cold." She blinked back tears. "I was his wife. I should have known something was wrong."

"Could have, should have, what if—Kaho, you can't keep doing this to yourself. You have to stop."

"I can't risk it. I won't go through that again!" Kahoko shook her head with sudden passion. "I just can't! I can't watch someone I love die before my eyes again! The possibility of it—"

"Oh, you and your idiotic possibilities," Noriko flung back scornfully. "They've kept you from pursuing happiness so often in your life. How much longer are you going to let them rob you?" She blew out a frustrated breath and pushed some hair out of her face. "Know what? Forget it. We'll play your way. Let's entertain some possibilities."

She looked solemnly at her sister. "First, do you love him?"

Kahoko gave a watery, mirthless laugh and fingered the glass rainbow hanging from the lamp next to her. Her heart ached as the bright hues blurred together. Kazuki-senpai had given it to her back in college. It had been miserably rainy for a whole week, and like magic, he'd brought it to her at just the moment she'd been craving a little color. "Yes, I love him. Though I really shouldn't. Things would never have turned out this way if I didn't."

"How much does he mean to you?"

She hesitated for a second, her fingers stilling on the dangling ornament. "…He…matters," she finally answered. She was deathly afraid of just how much.

"Then, if he gets sick or hit by a car or something else happens to him," Noriko paused as the color drained from her sister's already too pale face, "is it going to hurt any less if you have his ring on your finger?"

No, not that. Anything but that. She covered her face with her hands as the searing pain crippled her. "Please, Sis, don't…."

"You've got to live with it. You have to learn how to deal with it," Noriko snapped harshly. "Are you going to keep life at bay because of something you couldn't control three years ago?" Her answer was silence.

"Here's another possibility. Now suppose somehow the two of you find each other again, and he's willing to just be your friend or maybe even your boyfriend for the rest of eternity. What do you think of that?"

"That…that wouldn't be fair," Kahoko responded reluctantly. "Not when he wants so much more…and…and I do want him to be happy, but…I just can't—he…he has to realize that—"

Noriko snaked an arm over Kahoko's shoulders and gave them a small squeeze, cutting her off. "I'm glad you think it would be unfair too." She sighed. "Let's not dwell on that last part too much though, okay?

"Alright, possibility number three: suppose you two never see each other again," Kahoko looked like she was going to be sick, "and the next and last thing you hear about him is that he died at the ripe old age of, oh, let's say ninety-eight, all alone. Wouldn't you hate yourself for making the two of you go through life like that?"

"Yes, but—"

"And for our last possibility that we're going to entertain," she steamrolled right over her without missing a beat, "similar to the last one but with a slight twist, suppose he marries someone else." The flash of pain was quickly masked, but very real. "And lives to be like a hundred years old, and has scads of children and grandchild—"

"It won't happen," Kahoko interrupted with quiet fierceness. "He's mine." She stopped up short and stared at the rainbow as understanding dawned in her eyes. He was hers, and she had always, always belonged to him. After more than a dozen years, she finally realized what everyone else had already known for more than a decade: their happiness was being with each other.

She examined at the trinket quietly as she mulled things over in light of this new revelation. If he were by her side, could she become strong enough to get past it? Did she trust him enough to let him help? Tears pricked at her eyes when the answer resounded clearly in her heart.

He was the rainbow that made the drab and grey beautiful again. And without his bright promises of an end to the rain and sorrow, how could she expect the sun to shine?

"All this time wasted…." She clenched her fists in frustration. "Why didn't I realize it sooner? I'm so stupid!" she cursed.

"Then go find him."

"But I've looked everywhere already," she licked her lips. "I tried his apartment, the school, his parents', Seiso, various hideouts he showed me over the years…I don't know where else to look!"

Noriko raised her eyebrows in surprise. "You went after him?"

"Of course I did! You think after realizing I'd cut out his heart, I wouldn't try to apologize?"

Noriko grinned and gave her sister an affectionate hug. "You go girl! Why didn't you tell me? You could have saved me trying to railroad you into going after him for the last half-hour."

"I wasn't planning to accept his proposal," Kahoko stated dryly. "I just wanted to try and clear the bad air between us."

"Still an idiot," Noriko muttered.

"Yes," Kahoko agreed, "but not anymore." She stood with purpose in her eyes. "I'm going to find him." She smiled sadly back at Noriko. "And not just for me…for Yuji too."

Noriko smiled as she stood to gather up her things. "He'll make a wonderful father." She gave her a thumbs-up. "Good luck, Kaho."

Another chapter done! Yes! Whoo-hoo!

As with most things, usually both parties contribute to a relationship problem. It took a little doing to snap Kazuki out of his funk so he recognized his part of the problem, but I think this worked. I hope the lessons learned in this fight will serve the two of them further down the line. (^_^)

According to the Corda 3 game, Seiso's summer break is basically the month of August, so I just pretended that's the same for all schools in Japan.