Jacob cursed himself for overreacting. And for leaving his car sitting in the Cullen's driveway.

Because that meant he had to go back.

Jacob groaned. It was two days since he'd been to Edward's house. Two days and he was still unable to get the words out of his head. What was worse, so inexplicably worse, was that he was actually kind of missing Edward.

Sure, Edward was the root of all the problems he'd had over the last few decades of his life. Jacob had still come to enjoy his company, when they weren't fighting or arguing.

When you were in his position.

Jacob must have just overreacted. Empathic link and all that, making him think that Edward was talking about something else.

Edward was probably just asking what Jacob had done when he had needed to keep something secret from the pack. Nothing specific. Just a secret. Jake had had plenty of secrets that he hadn't wanted the pack to know. Like when he had tried to tell Bella about the wolves. He'd had to try and evade their notice while he almost broke their rules.

Edward hadn't meant…

After all, there was nothing to know, right?

Wrong. A traitorous voice whispered in his head.

He knows. He's probably always known. All that time, when you were trying to cover it up with that schoolboy crush on her. He knew.

A small part of Jacob was utterly thrilled. Just a small part. Because now everything had been dragged to the surface. Now he had to think about it. He couldn't just go on ignoring it like he used to.

If Edward knew…

Jacob thought back to everything that had been said.

Chances are they already know.

Edward's velvet voice reverberated around his head. If Edward knew, the rest of the pack could have known. Everyone could have known, while Jacob was busy ensuring he himself was the last to realise.

Jacob hadn't had anyone to catch wayward thoughts, like Sam did. He hadn't had the control he now had. Sure, he'd never actually acknowledged it, but that didn't mean that everyone didn't know.

Jacob had never understood it. It had hit him suddenly, the very first time he had met Edward. He'd heard about him, from the stories and legends, and from Charlie's conversations with Billy. Bella hadn't spoken about him, after he had left. He had never really wanted to ask.

Edward had been shorter than he had expected.

But that wasn't the only thing that had surprised him. For all that Jacob knew, it could have been those first few thoughts that clued Edward in, because as soon as he had felt it self-preservation had set in and he had buried it as deep as it would go with in his subconsciousness. Jacob couldn't even recall having ever explicitly recognised it, just kept it as something on the fringes of his mind. He knew that it was there, he knew that it was strong, and strange, and something that he hoped he would never have to think about it, but he refused to understand what it was.

Jacob was attracted to Edward, in a completely non-objective way. Attracted. In a way he had never been attracted to anyone else, excluding Bella Swan.

Never had Jacob been more appreciative of his makeshift mental shield. Maybe Edward already knew, but he wasn't ready to let everyone in on it. Especially the rest of his pack. Jacob shuddered at the thought.

Alone in his head he stumbled over the confusing, conflicting emotions and thoughts. He had loved Bella, completely and utterly, but the way he felt about Edward was different. The simple idea felt foreign in his mind.

It had been fine when it had all been about Bella.

But that was just another lie.

For all his efforts in keeping his feelings under wraps, from even himself, looking back Jacob realised that it had never worked.

They had just become other emotions. Reasons to hang around. Reasons to argue, to fight. He had been the worst type of third wheel.

He'd been obsessed with the pair of them, telling himself that it was in completely different ways, for completely different purposes.

It was probably the reason why he'd become so obsessed with the idea of revenge, as well.

There was just something about Edward, which awakened in Jacob something that he had never thought he would feel. He didn't understand it, but it hurt in ways that he couldn't imagine. Because it was so fantastically impossible.

Falling for a natural enemy, even if he had been denying it all the while, was tragically….ugh! Infuriating!

It made no sense. It was stupid and ridiculous.

But that didn't make it untrue, and pretending that it had never happened hadn't worked for him before. Maybe he should try a new tactic. A selectively open tactic.

He didn't want to talk about it, especially not with Edward, who would look at him like he understood completely. But he couldn't understand any of it. Jacob didn't understand himself.

He couldn't talk to anyone else. He shuddered, trying to just visualise where he would begin, not willing even to give a possible identity to his hypothetical confidant. There was no one that he would feel right talking to, not about this.

But talking about something and acknowledging it are two different things. Sometimes things just need to be said, just once, and that's enough, they can be forgotten for the rest of time. Just once, one single syllable would be enough. Not a conversation, but a sentence, a word, then he could go back to leaving these types of thoughts in the attic of his mind, the one with dark corners and cobwebs. It would still be there, but it could gather dust in peace.

He had to pick up his car. It belonged in his garage, not out in the elements. He could smell rain on the wind. He would need to collect it soon. It was the product of the cathartic outpouring of rage and obsession and repressed attraction. A point to focus on. Even if he knew that he no longer needed it, he wanted it back.

He probably needed to see Edward anyway. If he was incredibly uneasy and unbelievably embarrassed, it didn't matter. He had said that he would check up on him and make sure that he was alright. Jacob still didn't trust Edward with his own safety.

Jacob sighed. Maybe tomorrow. Possibly the next day. Probably never.

He opened his mind to check up on the boys. And the whole world imploded.

(...)

Edward faulted when he heard the door open, but didn't stop what he was doing. He heard the springs on the couch squeak, and knew that it had to be Jacob. It's not like anyone else knew that he was in town, but there was a definite certainty that no one else would have just come in and made themselves up in the semblance of comfortable.

Edward knew now that he shouldn't have said anything. He wished that he had never spoken, had never even pushed for information about the pack. It had definitely been the wrong thing to do.

He had driven away the one person who had actually tolerated his company in the last few years. It had been so long since anyone had sat with him, just to talk to him. To tell him about their life. Even before Bella, his family had just taken for granted that he would already know everything, and saw no need to tell him.

It had been really nice to listen to Jacob. Until he had ruined it by speaking out of turn.

But it seemed that Jacob was back. Edward had expected that Jacob would just pick up his car from the driveway, perhaps wheel it all the way around the corner without starting it so that Edward wouldn't hear that he was there.

Edward had assumed that Jacob had gotten over whatever it was that he had used to feel. The way that Edward saw it, it had made perfect sense. Jacob loved Bella. Bella loved Edward. What Jacob had felt was some strange jealous reverberation, an oddly natural transference. That was all. Now that they were older, wiser, and now that Bella was gone, things would undoubtedly be different for Jacob.

But back then it would still be enough that Jacob would have wanted to hide his unusual attraction from the pack. Edward hadn't meant to imply that Jacob himself was gay.

Jacob's reaction seemed to say that that was the way he had interpreted it.

And his reaction would imply that Jacob didn't see this the way Edward did.

Downstairs, Jacob had risen from the couch and seemed to be moving around, pausing sporadically but never for very long.

Edward supposed that he ought to join the wolf. He didn't want to make Jacob any more uncomfortable than he obviously already was. Besides, it was his duty as a good host not to leave his guest unoccupied.

Still, he took his time descending the stairs.

Jacob seemed to have pinned down his erratic attention enough to peruse a bookshelf. His back was towards Edward, and he was, thankfully, clothed. Jacob usually came in clothed, when he drove, but Edward understood that it was easier and quicker to run. Jacob still hadn't taken him up on his offer of borrowing some clothes, on the rare occasions that it would be required.

Edward realised that Jacob's current state of dress implied that he had walked, human style, from his house all the way here. This was undoubtedly a conversation best had seriously, with a head free from the wolf's influence, but Edward suspected that what he had said had caused most of Jacob's discomfort now.

The clothes, the extra measure, were just symptoms of his unease.

"Hello."

Jacob turned, and stared at Edward a little wide eyed. Edward held his gaze, fighting the urge to look down. Neither spoke, but stood facing each other. Edward recalled the last time they had actually stood face to face, and wondered if, like then, Jacob would attack him. Edward was still sure that he deserved it.

"Hey."

Another pause, in which the silence swelled between them, almost forcing them further apart. It was ridiculously uncomfortable, but Edward was intent on waiting it out. Perhaps something of their new alliance could be saved.

"Look, I'm sorry about what I said." Edward offered, if only to break the silence that was threatening to deafen him.

Jacob waved his hand in front of him, as if trying to clear the heavy atmosphere. The 'ease' of the movement was obviously forced, but Edward ignored it. "No, it's fine. I just didn't know that you knew…about me." A small smile slid into place on his features, but Edward noticed that it didn't reach his eyes.

Edward hadn't seen many of Jacob's smiles. He'd only recently seen genuine ones. He wondered if he would ever see one again. Doubted if he would ever see one again.

Jacob obviously didn't want to talk about it, but Edward wanted to reassure him.

He was at a loss for words.

So he just nodded. And offered fake smile to match Jacob's.

Well, now that that's done with. Edward thought.

And it was still just as uncomfortable.

Edward took a step forward, thinking that he could grab a book from the shelf and sit down, pretend that he was completely comfortable with the new wrench than had been thrown into the works.

Because Jacob though that there was something to know about him.

Jacob didn't think that it was some echo of his feelings for Bella. Jacob thought that's it was something real.

Which meant that it was.

There was something to know.

There was something to know.

Which meant that there was definitely something new for Edward to think about.

But as he moved forward, Jacob flinched, and backed away quickly. When his back hit the shelf that Edward had been walking towards, Jacob turned and almost ran to the door. Edward stood, completely still, afraid that by moving again he would make thing exponentially worse.

In the doorway, which was always left unlocked, Jacob stopped and turned back. His face was a mask of falsely casual expression, and Edward could only guess at the extreme discomfort beneath it.

Jacob was trying very hard to pretend that everything was okay with him, but it was a lie. He had turned back, Edward guessed, to combat Edward's belief that he was running away.

"I just came to pick up my car. I have to go and deal with my pack." Edward noticed the pained expression on Jacob's face as he paused. "I will be back though."

Edward believed him.

Jacob just waited for a moment, standing by the door. It suddenly occurred to Edward that Jacob didn't want to go. Despite the horrible discomfort between the two of them, there was something worse out there, something that Jacob was desperately trying to avoid.

Deal with my pack.

Something had happened.

Jacob was still standing by the door, waiting for something to happen. When Edward didn't move, didn't speak, he sighed and went to turn away again.

"Jacob."

Jacob stopped pivoting, but didn't turn back to Edward.

"Has something happened? Something with the pack?"

Jacob sighed again, and for a second Edward thought that he would just leave without saying anything. Then Jacob took a deep breath and looked Edward straight in the eye.

"Yeah. Jack imprinted."