A whole month since Jack had imprinted, and still the tension within the pack was so thick that it was threatening to drive them apart. It was even worse that he had predicted. Trying to be around Jack and Sam at the same time was worse than sitting in a room with Emily, Sam Sr. and Leah. It was practically impossible. Throw Molly into the mix and it was a horror film in the making.

Jacob tried to keep his mind focused on the task that he was trying to complete, giving the pack their instructions for their coming patrol, but he couldn't keep his thoughts in line. Now that everything was out in the open, it wasn't just Sam and Jack's thoughts that he had to deal with. Every single one of the boys was still trying to get used to the new information. It had been four weeks, but it still hadn't sunk in.

Jacob's attention could only be targeted for short bursts, which wasn't really helping at all. He used one short moment of clarity to organise the pack, and watched as they disappeared in pairs into the trees. He'd had to switch up the groups, but he'd yet to find a situation that worked. The boys were having just as much difficulty getting anything done as he was.

Jacob was beginning to appreciate that he had not been a part of his original pack when Sam Sr. had imprinted. If it was anything like this, he didn't know how they'd managed to pull it together, especially with Leah.

Jacob had paired himself with Kallem, and the boy was standing shyly by as Jacob stared blindly into the woods. As Jacob pulled his thoughts away from the 'catastrophe', he caught Kallem's eye and understood the look on the boy's face immediately. He quickly blocked the two of them from the pack mentality.

Kallem looked a little shocked as Jacob faced him. He supposed that it had been sometime since Kallem had had nothing but silence and his own thoughts in his head. He hadn't outright told the boys that he had been keeping stuff from them using his singular ability, for fear that they would ask to know what he had been hiding from them, but they still knew enough.

"What's up Kal?"

"I wasn't sure if it was true, but I guess it is."

"Yep. Now, what was it you wanted to say? We don't have long."

Kallem nodded and got straight to the point.

"I was thinking. Things are really bad for all of us at the moment. What we're all feeling…it really sucks."

"I know. I'm right there with you."

"Not all the time."

Jacob frowned. Kallem continued.

"We can all tell when you're absent. It's okay, I guess. We all wish that we could get away from it for a while. We never knew quite how you did it, whether you just spaced out or if it was intentional. Now we know that it's intentional."

"Kal-"

"No, it's fine. But…you helped Sam when he was trying to keep it from us."

"I tried, but in the end-"

"We know that there was nothing you could do. None of us blame you for what happened. We don't blame anyone. It was unfortunate that it happened like that, but it wasn't something that could stay hidden forever."

"I don't understand what you're saying then."

"Can you help us now?"

Jacob paused. He thought that he understood what Kallem was asking for, but he didn't know exactly what he could do.

"I don't think I-"

"We can't stop the thoughts from happening. Any of us. But you can stop the thoughts from being shared. You can conceal them, like you did with Sam's thoughts. I think that it would help us get back to normal."

Jacob felt something stir in his chest. Something about what Kallem was saying was making Jacob feel extremely uncomfortable. He thought that maybe it was the horrible thought of having to control that much information. It wasn't easy, even when it had just been his own thoughts, but recently it had started to be kinda painful. It had been so tiring trying to keep Sam's secret. Jacob had hated the tension in the last few weeks, but at least he hadn't felt the incredible strain of being constantly on edge. Now Kallem was asking him to spare them the discomfort of their current situation by taking it all on himself. Jacob knew that this whole thing had the potential to cause infinite chasms to form between individuals, but he couldn't help remembering his first pack.

What was it about wolf packs and love triangles?

Jacob was sure that if the old pack had been able to push through, his new pack would be able to do the same. When it came down to the important stuff, they would pull back together, instinct and reliance knitting them back into formation.

Still, Jacob couldn't help but grimace as the hope that Kallem had been sporting went out at a shake of his head. He knew just how horrible it was for the boy.

Kallem hadn't given up though. With wide eyes he looked pleadingly up at Jacob.

"Jake, the things that we have to share…they're private. Whatever happened between those two, it's none of our business. We have no right to see…" Kallem trailed off, leaving Jacob with no doubt about what he was referring to.

Those first few days had been the worst. Jacob intentionally kept the pack as separate as he could, selfishly trying to buy himself time to figure out how to approach the problem. Now he was sure that the time apart had done more harm than good.

Sam had sought Jack out. There was nothing hopeful about Sam's thoughts as he had lead his pack mate into the conversation. Jacob knew that, while Sam was still doing what he could, he had given up all hope when he first recognised the imprint. Jack hadn't been unwilling to follow him, but Jacob knew it was because the boy saw his imprint as some new form of immunity.

Sam had relayed to Jack the same information that he had given to Jacob. Jack already knew, but had listened patiently anyway. Surprisingly Sam had not tried to pressure Jack into making a particular decision, didn't even suggest that choosing him was the other choice. The cold, impersonal turn of the conversation broke Jacob's heart. He knew the pain that the boy must be going through, knew that everyone else was aware of it also. Even Jack, standing still while Sam informed him of the old legend, knew. Jacob couldn't stomach the thought of a pain so complete as to perpetuate the unnecessary charade.

It had been heart-achingly familiar, and at the same time so utterly foreign. Jacob had wanted to avert his eyes, but had been powerless against the influx of memory, as the pack came together again. Sam had held his head high, not speaking, but knowing that everyone was living what should never have been seen. Jacob felt his shame, at having what was most personal displayed before everyone. He was proud of Sam for his strength, and yet he wished he could have saved him from it all.

It was to this event, or rather the shared recollection of it, that Kallem was referring to.

Because the terse conversation had not been the end of it. And Jacob suddenly realised where the unease, coiling itself around in the back of his mind, had come from.

It wasn't in the thought of all the incredible amounts of work that Kallem was suggesting. It existed only partially in the words that the boy was saying, but was hinted at in the boy's tone and written clearly in his expression.

He was stuck by a suspicion that upset him too much to truly entertain, and yet, the evidence was standing right in front of him. Jacob was afraid that the main objection Kallem, and perhaps some of the other boys, had towards being forced to share their thoughts had nothing to do with privacy.

Jacob didn't know how he hadn't picked up on it before. He guessed that he must have been too preoccupied to piece the hints together.

After Sam had finished speaking, Jack had leaned forward and pressed his lips lightly to his friends. In the same situation, Jacob himself would have given himself over to unreasoned hope or fervid anger. As it was, he felt through Sam's memories, the bittersweet recognition of a final goodbye.

While the boys would be unable escape each other, and this was no true farewell, Jacob understood that this was Jack's way of saying goodbye to the unspoken possibilities, the half formed concepts that would no longer be able to live on false hopes. It was an earnest kiss, and Jacob came to understand clearly, perhaps for the first time, how much Jack truly cared about Sam.

Jacob had felt something hook him deep in his gut as he had been forced to take Sam's position, the indescribable feeling that he was losing forever, something that he'd only just realised he wanted. It was something like being deprived of air.

Whether Kallem was uncomfortable with the memory of the kiss, the emotions, or just the general idea of it, Jacob didn't want to know. Just knowing that Kallem was uncomfortable with that aspect of this was setting Jacob's teeth on edge. He supposed that he shouldn't be so angry, after all, it wasn't like Kallem hadn't tired his best to accept his friends. Jacob probably would have been the same if he had've been in Kallem's position. Kallem had obviously done his best to keep his prejudices hidden from Sam and Jack, even from Jacob himself. He didn't want his friends to know how he felt, but he couldn't stop from feeling it. Not yet.

Jacob knew that he couldn't do anything. He couldn't stop what was already out in the open between them. He couldn't make it any easier for Jack, or Sam, or Harley, or Kallem, or Pond. Or himself. And what kind of an alpha did that make him?

Kal seemed to understand what Jacob was unable to say. He turned and allowed Jacob to feed his mind back into the pack before he disappeared into the trees. Jacob felt the boy change in the cover of the dense trunks, and knew that he was waiting for Jacob to join him, so that they could begin their patrol.

Jacob hesitated for a moment. His mind was silent, only his own thoughts kept him company in the empty yard. He had always known that he wasn't cut out to be an alpha. Others were stronger, more willing to deal with problems or to grin and bear it if they couldn't make everyone happy. Jacob had always been at a loss for what to do, whether it was his own life or his own makeshift pack. He had a feeling that he always would be.

The urge to see Edward jumped into his head, but Jacob quickly quieted it. He had started to rely on Edward more than he would like. Edward seemed to be the only who he could talk to without having to worry about every word he said. But it was dangerous to spend so much time around the vampire. He was supposed to be running the vampire out of town, even if at this pace it was more like walking. He needed Edward to leave, if these boys were going to have a chance at regaining some normal. The longer they stayed in the pack formation, the further normal was out of their reach. They were all changing, more and more every day. Mostly in subtle ways, but it all added up to five completely new people.

Jacob knew that it was easy to become obsessed with Edward. He'd done it before, for years. He didn't want that to happen again, but he could feel it, even now. Whatever it was that Edward had done to him back then, it hadn't faded completely, even with all the time that Jacob had generously supplied it with.

He had to stop himself before he became reliant on Edward. Nothing good ever happened when he went down that road. He didn't need to go in for another round of unrequited love.

Love?

No, that was wrong. Whatever he had felt for Edward, still felt in the lingering traces, it hadn't been love. Attraction sure. But not love. He'd been drawn to Edward in the same way he'd been drawn to Bella. But he'd never loved Edward. Love was too… right. Too real. Too everything that his attraction for Edward couldn't be.

Sure, he'd come to accept that his feelings for Edward did exist, had always existed. But he wasn't going to turn into some romantic sap intent on twisting his platonic almost-friendship into some strange pantomime of honest affection.

He needed to stop visiting Edward so often. It was obvious that the vampire was improving slowly. He didn't need Jacob to check up on him every day. Besides, he had other protectors who would surely intervene if Edward were to relapse. Perhaps spending time away from Jacob would actually assist in that respect. It would allow Alice to see her brother more clearly.

Jacob needed to stop trying, in some strange unconscious but disturbingly twisted way, to turn Edward's house into a second home. Just because there was nothing left for him, didn't mean that he should try to build something new. He'd come to this state himself. He'd torn away his own chance at a future. Edward should remind him of that, not make him wish that things could be infinitely different.

Shrugging out of his clothes and lying them neatly in a pile on his back steps, Jacob made his way to the tree line. Once in the cold shade of the forest, he shifted, joining Kallem. Together they made their way to the border of the reservation, ready to keep their land safe from a threat only Jacob knew didn't exist.