Author's Note: So, I would formally like to apologize for the extra long wait for this update. I'm not even sure if people are still reading this. It's been over a year and there really is no excuse. It's just school has been so busy and preparing for college has been really time consuming. A lot has changed, but I would love to continue writing!

I decide that I need to call Sebastian. After his fifty million texts and calls, I decide it's time to face the music. It really isn't fair to him that I keep giving him the silent treatment. I need to put an end to this for the both of us.

The phone rings once before Sebastian answers. "Mike, it's so nice to hear from you." He pauses. I technically haven't spoken yet, but I need to fast so I can put both of our minds and hearts to rest. "What's up?"

What's up? Oh, I don't know. We kissed last night and we need to figure out what the hell is going on.

"Sebastian, what happened last night..." This time I'm the one that pauses. I can't even say it. I can't even admit to myself that we kissed. It doesn't sit well with me.

"Mike, hello? You still there?"

"It can't happen again. Ever again. It was just a heat of the moment thing, a mistake, and it was wrong and..." I begin running on and on and eventually out of things to say.

Silence. There's dead silence for about one minute. I normally like to plan out how my conversations go, but I have no idea where this one will lead. Then Sebastian opens his mouth to talk. "Mistake? You can't tell me that you couldn't feel the connection or whatever the hell that was between us after that kiss. You know something was there. There was no mistake about last night" And he was right. I knew that there was something there. I just couldn't admit it to him. Or to me. Not yet. And instead of figuring out whatever it was, I just shoved into a corner of my mind.

"I'm sorry. I have a girlfriend that I love."

"Are you sure about that?" I was sure. Wasn't I? Tina and I have been going steady for forever. We're supposed to be in love. This strikes a chord with me. Tina and I love each other, definitely. There's no doubt about that. But could I bring myself to honestly say that I was in love with her? "Why haven't you told her yet? Why haven't you told her that disgusting Sebastian put forced his lips on your mouth?"

This conversation wasn't supposed to be about self discovery. I needed to set our friendship straight. "I've really enjoyed your company these past couple of days, but we're just friends, Sebastian, nothing mo-"

"That's bullshit!" He interrupts. "Answer my question. Why haven't you told her yet?"

"What if I have told her already?"

"No. No, I know you didn't tell her because then you would be lying. And you wouldn't lie to her. I didn't kiss you. We kissed each other. You kissed back. You can't do this to yourself. You can't deny that we shared something fucking special last night!" His sudden aggression surprises me, and I think it surprises him too because he adopts a much more calm tone when he continues. "Friends don't just randomly kiss like that. That was the best damn kiss of my life, Mike. I can't just let it, or you go like that. Can we please just talk this out?"

"I've said all that I had to say. Goodnight." I could hear him begin to argue again, but I hung up. It took him all of three seconds to call back, but I rejected his call and turned my phone off. Damn it. What the fuck is wrong with you, Mike?

I didn't want to answer the question but Sebastian was in my head constantly asking it. I didn't tell her because he's right. It would break her heart. And it would mean that I kissed a boy, and I liked it. The Katy Perry allusion makes me chuckle a little, but it only masks my confusion and pain for a little bit. It could very well mean that I'm gay. Or bisexual. With tears running down my face, I decide that I just need to sleep all of this confusion off.

But all I can think about are his soft lips and that kiss. I know that I can't keep sleeping with these thoughts of guilt and pain.

The day that I thought would never arrive finally has. My last day of high school is today. I allow some time for a bit of nostalgia. I've grown so much from that introverted, frightened jock that I once was. I once was incredibly bigoted, but I've learned to become more tolerant and open minded. I've developed tremendously as a dancer and even a singer.

I'm scared to leave something that's become a second home, but it's my time to take a step out of this tiny microcosm, and take a step into the real world. I'm incredibly ambivalent towards my future. Am I scared? Excited? Anxious? Who knows? I sure don't.

I know what to expect from this day: crying, signing endless amounts of yearbooks with permanent markers, hugging teachers and students, cheering and then hearing the bell that will dismiss us for good.

The seniors arrive to the choir room. All of us are early. Everyone has a happy facade on, but there's a sad, unspoken truth lingering in the air. This will be the last time that we all perform with each other. This will be the last time that this group of New Directions meets in the choir room. I know that I'm experiencing the calm before the storm. We're going to be messes after this period.

I look especially awful since I didn't get much sleep, but I wouldn't let Sebastian ruin my last day with them. I've never been asked "Are you okay?" so many times, but I just pull the "I was just too excited to sleep last night" card.

Finn, knowing my little secret, just comes up and hugs me. "It'll be okay, bro." I'm not so sure if everything will be okay, but I appreciate the comfort.

The bell rings and the underclassmen arrive with their happy facades. Mr. Schue decides to jump straight into performances, and the underclassmen start. They all look so cute. Their performance of "I Will Remember You" was beautiful and soul stirring. Tina's solo is great, but I couldn't really look her in the eye without being guilty. Hopefully she took it as a sign of sadness and difficulty of letting go. I try my best to focus solely on their performance. The underclassmen make it through the performance misty-eyed, but I'm pretty sure by the end of "For Good" we'll all be in tears.

The seniors and Mr. Schue all applaud for our underclassmen, and then we switch and this time we're on the performing end. We all know that this really is it. Our last performance together. We look at each other and smile. We grab onto each others hands and begin singing.

I've heard it said, that people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn and we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them and we help them in return.

I was right. None of the seniors could sing the line "I do believe I have been changed for the better" without crying. None of the underclassmen could watch without crying. None of us were ready to let go, but we knew it was something we had to do.

Then Mr. Schue asks each of the seniors to say something, a piece of advice, a fond memory. I'm one of the first to go, and I tell them something simple. "Be true to yourself. And don't procrastinate." They laugh a little, but I realize that I can't even follow my advice.

Finn tells everyone to not stop believing and everyone laughs. Puck tells everyone to try a faux hawk once in his/her life. More laughter. Santana thanks everyone for putting up with her bitchiness. Everyone's advice or memory is touching and happy.

Rachel is the last to speak and she stands out to me the most. "Mr. Schue, thank you for everything." Her voice breaks. She'd already been crying a lot. "Thank you for being a great third dad to me. I know sometimes we're stubborn and blame you for a lot of things, but you're really patient with us." Another sob. "I'm going to miss you guys so much. You have made my high school experience."

The room is filled with tears and snot and sadness. It was a beautiful mess. Mr. Schue uses the last minute of class to talk to us all. "You guys have become my second family. Seniors, never ever be afraid to visit and help out. I love you guys so much. I'm here for you guys for anything." The bell rings and we go in for one last group hug. I'm pretty sure we were all late for our second periods, but we didn't care. We had a family to say goodbye to.

After that, the last day of school seemed to go by systematically. Yearbook after yearbook, hug after hug, goodbye after goodbye. It wasn't long before the final bell rang, forever dismissing me from William McKinley High School.

After school ends, Tina meets me in the hallway outside of my sixth period and kisses me on the lips. It doesn't last for too long, but I can't help and compare it to my kiss with Sebastian. I mean, sure, her kiss was more of an affectionate peck, but I still couldn't help it.

"Babe, I'm going to hang out with some of the New Directions girls." She pauses to fix my jacket and then continues. "I'll call you tonight though! I love you."

"I love you, too." There's something I need to tell you, I desperately thought.

With the need for some peace of mind, I walk to Mr. Schue's office, where I see him cleaning up and packing up with Ms. Pillsbury sitting down on a chair casually talking to him about her day. I decide that Mr. Schue was a good voice of reason, and if anyone was to steer me in the right direction, it would be him.

"Hey, Mike! You should be on your way home, right?" He smiles at me and then continues putting away some papers into a box. Ms. Pillsbury acknowledges me by smiling.

"I was just about to, but I was wondering if I could talk to you. About something serious? If you or Ms. Pillsbury don't mind, of course."

Knowing that Will would never say no, Ms. Pillsbury speaks. "It won't be a problem," she replies. "Will, I'll be in the teachers' lounge, okay?"

"I'll be there after we're done!" He kisses her on the cheek and then sits down on his chair and directs his attention to me. "What's up, kiddo? Excited for camp?" I sit down on the chair across from his desk.

"Mr. Schue," I pause. Was I really ready to admit this to him? I'd talked to Finn about it the night before, but Mr. Schue? It'd be like telling a parent. I could feel my heart in my throat and could feel the tears well up in my eyes.

Mr. Schue, noticing that it was something more serious than he anticipated, starts speaking. "Mike, know that you're in a place where no one will judge you. Anything you tell me will be kept in confidence. You look like you're asphyxiated, like you're suffocating. Just let out whatever you need to, okay?"

I look at him, knowing that he's someone I can trust absolutely. "The only other person who knows is Finn. I kissed Sebastian Smythe, the boy from the Warblers, who kind of comes off as sadistic and evil?" I let out a small sigh and then I spew out the truth. "And I really enjoyed it. It was one of - no, it was the best kiss of my life. I feel guilty because I'm still with Tina, and she's been nothing but a faithful girlfriend. And then there's the fact that I might..." I slow down and begin sobbing. I look around the room and then to Mr. Schue. He looks at me reassuringly and understandingly. "I might really, really like this guy. I might really like a guy. And I know I'm not supposed to like him. I don't know what to do."

Mr. Schue grabs my hand and looks at me with more encouragement. I look into his eyes through my blurry ones and cry.

"These emotions. This secret. It isn't fair to Tina. I love her. It's not fair to me. Or to Sebastian. My indecision. It's going to hurt someone. But I don't know. I just don't know what to do." The sobs become louder and I feel more hopeless.

Mr. Schue allows me to wallow in pity for a few seconds before he starts speaking. "I am honored that you chose to trust me with this information. Mike, there's nothing wrong with you. I want you to know that. You're strong, and you'll figure this out. Also, there is nothing expected of you. You're not supposed to be any way okay. It's okay if you like girls. If you like boys. If you like frogs." I let out a tiny laugh still with tears streaming. "I'm not saying you're gay or straight or pansexual or whatever other label they have out there today. The point I'm making is, it's normal. You're normal, and there is nothing that you should be ashamed of if you do find out that you like this boy." He smiles at me. "Now as for Tina, I don't think you'll want to hear this, but I think you should tell her." I look at him in disbelief. I can't do that just yet. "Or if you aren't ready for that, I think you should at least end things, even if it just temporarily, to allow yourself to figure all of this out. It will hurt both of you, but it's what you need to save her from any further potential pain. She'll be hurt if you're still together and you're hooking up with someone on the side. She'll be less hurt if you ask for a break now and then tell her later why you needed one."

He was right and I didn't want to believe him, but I knew I had to end things with Tina as soon as possible. It would kill her. We already had a talk about the future of our relationship, but I'm not quite sure if she's expecting me to end it, especially end it so soon.

After some introspection, I look at Mr. Schue and smile. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. You all have my number if you need something. Now get out and enjoy your summer and do what you have to do." He gets up and we hug. We hug for a long time. Mr. Schue would make an excellent father, and I'm glad that he sees me as a part of his family. I took one last look at the choir room and my second dad, and then leave for my house.

The day passes by. I think hard and long about the talk and advice Mr. Schue gave me. I decide to wait until tomorrow to break up with Tina. I also decide that I need to talk to Sebastian about whatever I'm feeling because I think he might be the best person to go to for my sexuality. I thought about Blaine or Kurt, but that'd be too risky. Telling one would mean telling the other would mean telling the entire show choir. I don't know why I can, but I can trust Sebastian. Before I know it, it's 9. Tina does call, but just to check up on me. I think the call may have interrupted their spa time or hair time or whatever.

"Babe, how was your day?" I hear a bunch of laughter and machinery working in the background.

"Good. And yours?"

"Good." I hear a voice in the background. "No, no I want teal."

"What?"

"Oh sorry. I'm talking to Quinn. Say hi, ladies." And then I'm greeted with a loud "HI MIKE". I hear Santana in the background scream "Get a room, lovebirds!"

"Sorry babe, I've got to go. We're doing nails right now. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Love you!" I say I love her and she hangs up. I definitely was going to talk to her tomorrow, but it's definitely not going to be the conversation she probably has in mind.

After I hang up, I get a text. I look at the sender and it's Sebastian. The text reads, "Mike, pls meet me at my house. We'll just be outside. I promise I won't pull any tricks. If u don't want me to kiss u, then I won't. We just can't leave this issue unresolved. Please."

It doesn't sound like too good of an idea. I text him back saying, "Sorry. I can't."

"I'm not taking no for an answer. If u don't come over, I'll come there."

"You don't even know where I live."

"I have my resources."

"... Fine."

"Thirty minutes."

There really is no point in arguing with Sebastian. He can be very persuasive. I take a quick shower while frantically deciding what I should wear. I settle on a jacket, a pair of jeans, a shirt and Vans. I tell my parents I'm going to a friend's house. They trust me enough to go out and I do. I make it to Westerville in an impressive time. I pull up into his driveway where I see him. His sight both makes me happy and pains me. Seeing him made me realize I have no idea what to expect tonight.

"Mike, it's good to see you again. Sit." He motions to the chairs on his patio. I take the opportunity to appreciate his house. His house is beautiful. His parents have great taste. Then I realize the last time we saw each other was out here, when we kissed. That must have been a reason I couldn't really take in the scenery the first time. The chairs are situated about two feet away from each other slanted inwards, so we aren't exactly far from each other.

"Sebastian, it's good to see you, too." And I mean it. Aside from our kiss, I'd honestly grown incredibly fond of him. "I'm actually glad that you invited me over because I have a lot to get off of my chest." I look at him hoping that he'll understand what I'm about to say. "First, you're right. I didn't tell Tina about the kiss because I did kiss you back. Sebastian, that kiss was the greatest kiss of my entire life. No doubt about it. I'm not going to deny that anymore." He smirks.

"Well, not to toot my own horn. I do have a way with my lips." And the douchebag returns.

"Shut up." I roll my eyes and smile. He smiles, too. "That kiss was great, but," I take a second to think about where I'm going. "I need you to understand that it's something that is difficult for me to accept. Me kissing another guy and enjoying it." He nods in understanding. "For me to kiss a guy," I pause. "And like him." Another pause. He gasps softly and then widens his eyes. And I begin crying.

"The feelings that I feel for you, Sebastian, are really intense, and I'm not emotionally ready to handle them yet. I'll look at you and my stomach knots and then you'll smile and my stomach will explode. I light up when you smile. I can't look away when you look at me. I need time to process it all."

He stands up and pulls me up and into a tight hug. I'm crying a lot, but soon I feel the side of my face getting wet too and I realize Sebastian is crying too. "Mike," he cries. "You'll never have to go through this confusion alone. I'll help you however I know how. I've been here before. I've been scared. It hasn't been easy for me for these past couple of days either. I've come to really like you in the time we've spent together. You're different and I like that and my feelings for you are very strong, too. I could care less if you come to realize that tomorrow these intense feelings are nothing. I will still be here for you."

I break down again and just cry. "Thank you." He pulls me in tighter and I get his a chance to smell him. His scent is manly and sweet. While still in his arms, I begin speaking through my tears. "I'm breaking up with Tina tomorrow. I can't be in a relationship with her and have these feelings for you that I'm trying to sort out. I'm not telling her what happened. I'm just going to say that I need time to clear my head. I'm not ready. I hope you understand. Not yet." More tears.

"Of course I understand. I never meant to drive a wedge between the two of you. I hope you realize that. The flirting was supposed to be harmless, but I guess I'm just too good and irresistible." He smiles and I laugh a little bit and softly slap his back. "But seriously."

I wipe my tears, but Sebastian still hugs me. "God, I'm sorry for being so emotional."

"Don't ever apologize for that." He breaks the hug slightly so that he can look into my eyes. He continues hugging me with one arm and wiping my tears with the other hand. He holds my gaze for another two minutes before he brings me in for another tight hug. I love that he kept true to his word. We stay hugging on his porch for another ten minutes. With me just staring out into nothing, letting the tears slowly go away, and with him playing with my hair.

Sebastian notices it's getting chilly and invites me inside to his room upstairs to stay the night. "I promise we won't do anything. It's getting late and I want you to spend the night. You can sleep in my bed and I'll sleep on my couch."

I begin to object, but it's useless.

"If girls can have sleepovers, why can't we?" It's not the same thing. We aren't just friends hanging out. He knows it isn't the same thing because I just spilled out my heart to him, but I see no point in arguing with him. I figure I'm going to need someone with me tonight anyway, and I'm honestly glad it's Sebastian.

When I enter into his house, it's more beautiful than the outside. He has a staircase that starts off as one and branches into two parts of the second floor. He has a nice chandelier hanging from the ceiling. It's all so gorgeous. We make the quick trip up to his room which is equally nice. He has something like a double king size bed. It's huge. His room is spacious and nice. The walls are painted royal blue and are decorated with movie posters and vinyls. He has a nice flat screen hanging across from his gigantic bed. He even has his own bathroom.

"Does it come with a kitchen and a swimming pool?" I ask in amusement.

"Not yet." He laughs. "Very funny. No. Just a bathroom." He smiles.

I text my mom telling her that I'm sleeping over at a friend's house. She says it's okay, but to be home in the morning because she needs me for some errands.

I realize that if I am going to sleep here, I at least need to be comfortable. "Umm, Sebastian. I didn't really plan on sleeping here." I motion to my clothes. "I don't really have sleeping clothes."

He smiles. "Sleep naked." He then winks.

"Not funny." I roll my eyes while laughing. "Seriously."

"I'm kidding." He goes through his drawer and pulls out a tank top and shorts. I ask to use the bathroom and am in no time ready for bed. He took the time to get ready, too. He's also dressed in some shorts and a nice tank top. The boy has some nice arms.

"It's your house, I'll just sleep on the couch."

"No, no, no. Sleep on my bed. I insist."

"The couch looks like it shouldn't be slept on." I laugh. It did look really expensive. I know he wouldn't let me take the couch. "Just share the bed with me." He looks surprised. "It's no big deal." I did trust him and I didn't care.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Your bed is plenty big enough for the both of us."

I see the faintest of smiles appear on his face. "Okay!" He exclaims. "I'll take the left side and you'll take the right."

We go on the bed and then we face each other. There's about three feet of space between us but there's still enough room for both of us to move comfortably. We stay for a couple of minutes and just talk about our days. He talks about how he cried with the Warblers and I talk about my same experience with New Directions. We talk about how show choir is the best thing that happened to us. And then we just talk about stupid things. Like our favorite television shows. He tells me he's a big fan of Wicked and Miss Saigon and a bunch of other musicals. I tell him that I like house music and love watching So You Think You Can Dance? He's honestly the easiest person to talk to. I could be myself with him.

It's about twelve when he turns off the lights. Let me tell you, his bed is the comfiest bed ever.

"Mike, goodnight." He whispers.

"Goodnight, Sebastian." I reply. I just feel safe here. Safe from my confusion. Safe from everything. I think about the day for a little and think about how I ended up in Sebastian's bed. I laugh to myself a little. What a roller coaster.

"What's so funny?" He asks.

"Nothing."

"Then go to sleep."

I laugh a little. In this bed, I feel overwhelming love and support from someone I now consider a best friend. I look to his direction.

"Hey, Sebastian."

"What?"

"I'm not in love with you," I take a deep breath. "But one day, I know I could be." I smile at this confession because for the first time, I'm at peace admitting it. "Goodnight."

"Too bad it's dark because now you can't see that I'm sporting the biggest fucking smile in the world right now, Mike. I feel the same way, too. One day, I hope you will be. But for now, this friendship is good enough. Goodnight, buddy."

Needless to say, I slept extremely well that night.

Song lyrics used "For Good" from Wicked, the Musical. I hope you guys enjoyed that! Please review or message me with any questions or concerns or suggestions!