A/N: Look! FINALLY an update I hear you cry! (Well, I hope that's what you're saying) Anyway, quick apology and explanation for my terrible updating skills: I've had my A levels, and upsetting news over the past few months, but fear not, I shall now update weekly! Woo! PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE REVIEW! 3

Chapter 20
Or,
Of Tea, Questions and Hot Chocolate.

Lily walked into Potter Manor, gripping James' hand tightly; she was shaking from head to toe, from shock and due to James' terrible apparating.

"You shouldn't be allowed to apparte." She joked softly, anything to break the uneasy silence that filled the house.

"Hey!" James protested, ruffling her hair, "There is nothing wrong with my apparation skills."

She smiled weakly at him and batted his hand away, "The nauseous feeling in my stomach says otherwise."

A frown appeared on James' forhead, "You feel sick? Are you okay? Do you want to go lie down?"

"I'm fine, James." She shook her head, looking down at her ruined shoes. She wasn't okay, she'd just witnessed her parents' death, and she did feel sick, but she didn't want to go lie down. She wouldn't be able to sleep, she knew that immediately, and, if she was being perfectly honest, she felt safer around James but she didn't want to open all of her heart to him just yet.

"Lily…"

"What?"

"Look at me."

She looked up at him, "What?" She repeated.

"Don't do this."

"Do what?"

"Shut me out. Pretending that you're okay."

"I am okay."

"Don't lie to me, Lily." He said softly, brushing a stray piece of hair away from her face, "How about I make some tea and we go talk?"

She sighed, "Fine."

"Milk and two sugars, yeah?" He asked, already tugging Lily to the kitchen.

"Yes…" She paused, "How do you know that?"

"I've spent years watching you, Lily, I'm bound to know how you take your tea."

A real smile appeared on her face, "Cute."

He coughed, "I'm not cute."

The smile remained, "Yes. Yes you are."

"Anyway, tea." He muttered, dropping Lily's hand to look around the kitchen dumbly for the tea bags.

"I think they're over there." Lily said, pointing to a little red container on the bench.

He opened it and grinned, pulling out two teabags, then turning to Lily, "How do you know that?"

"The container is labelled tea."

He looked at it and his face fell ever so slightly over the face he'd missed it, "Oh."

She smiled again, "Cute."

James threw a tea bag at her, "Not cute!"

It had been exactly two weeks since the unfortunate attack on Cokeworth town, and Lily wasn't brilliant, but she was getting better. Most of this was down to James; he was always around her when she wanted him, but he left her to mull things over on her own for a bit too. His parents were lovely, always making her breakfast in bed, chatting to her about her favourite things, making her head a lot clearer and happier, instead of the sadness which had predominately taken over since the attack.

Lily had been sleeping in an empty bedroom on the third floor of Potter Manor, while James stayed in the adjacent room, or sometimes- much to Lily's dismay- the armchair in the corner of her occupied room. It wasn't his presence that bothered her, it was the fact he was putting himself in a sleepless condition just so he could 'keep an eye on her'. She thought it unnecessary and stupid; James didn't need to get a stiff neck by sleeping in an armchair watching over her like she was a child.

But this morning, Lily woke up to a different arrangement.

It was about half past five when she woke up, they were due back at Hogwarts that day ,and she'd been waking early every morning since the accident; she couldn't sleep for too long and today, she was exceptionally tired. Lily rolled over but she never go to curl up and drop back off to sleep for another hour, because Lily was apparently in bed with a boulder. She punched the thing softly and it wriggled. Okay, not a rock, a human. Oh, James. Shit! James! I'm in the same bed as my hunky boyfriend, James Potter.

"Ow. Sirius, no need to punch me awake, you know." James grumbled, swatting away the hands that had landed on his head, "You're weak this morning, did you stop lifting those weights?"

Lily bit back a laugh, "Considering I'm not Sirius, can I punch you awake?"

James bolted upright with shock, he thought that he was in his normal bedroom which he shared with Sirius, "Oh, shit! Sorry, I fell asleep straight after you dropped off when we were talking!" He rambled, panicking that Lily was going to cause some damage considering they'd slept in the same bed.

She laughed, "Calm down, James. It really doesn't matter, although, you're a bit like a bolder to sleep with."

He gasped dramatically, "These are fabulously sculptured Quidditch muscles!"

"Rocks." She muttered, swinging her legs out of bed and shuffling forward to climb out; all of the beds in Potter Manor were ridiculously high and Lily practically had to jump out of them to get to the floor. James always found it amusing when he witnessed it.

"It's half five." James said, yawning.

"Finally learn to read the clock, have you?"

He rolled his eyes, "Why are you getting up so early?"

"I'm awake, what else is there to do?"

"Go back to sleep?" He suggested, lying back down with a loud sigh.

"But I can't."

His eyes opened and flicked over to Lily, who was still sitting with her legs dangling out of the bed still not touching the floor, her red hair in a wild frizz down her back and she had her head in her hands.

James stretched over the bed and wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her back into the bed, "Try, Lils."

"Don't let me sleep in, Potter." She warned, jokingly and she curled up in his arms and slipped her hand over the top of his.

"Never, Evans, never." He grinned into her hair and held onto her as her breathing softened and she drifted off into sleep again.

"James Harold Potter!" Sirius bellowed, banging on the door of the bedroom which James and Lily were sleeping in, "You do realise we leave in half an hour for school?!"

"HALF AN HOUR!?" Lily screamed, her eyes widening as she heard Sirius' bellowing voice.

"Morning Lily-Pad!" Sirius sung cheerfully as Lily yanked the door open and hurried into the bathroom across the hall.

"Stop being so cheerful, Black." She warned, shutting the door.

Sirius grinned, leaning against the doorframe to the bedroom door, "Or what, Lily-Pad?"

"I'll cut your hair!" She yelled from the bathroom and Sirius gasped and snapped his mouth shut.

"Thank you for that new threat, Lily dear." Mrs Potter said as she walked up the stairs, smiling; she was happy that James and Lily seemed to be getting on; she'd been worried about Lily a lot.

Lily opened the bathroom door with her hair tamed, her make-up on and her clothes on, "No problem, Mrs Potter."

"How many times have I told you? It's Elizabeth." Mrs Potter said.

"Or Lizzie." Sirius added.

"Shut up or I'll chop off your hair." Elizabeth said, smirking as Lily grinned.

"James!" Sirius whined, "The girls are being mean."

"Get used to it, Sirius." Elizabeth said, turning away and walking back down the stairs, "And James, you have FIVE minutes to get ready and be downstairs."

"Nobody can get ready in five minutes!" James protested, rolling out of bed, but his mother said nothing and James took this as a sign that she didn't really mean it. But Lily appeared at the door.

"James, get ready."

"No."

"Potter, get ready or I'll snap your broomstick into tiny little pieces!" She warned with a glare worthy of Mrs Potter.

"Merlin's pants, you're like my bloody mother." He muttered, but Lily laughed and threw a shoe at him before waving her wand over her trunk and levitating it downstairs, leaving James to drag his clothes on, grumbling to a happy Sirius.

"Good morning, Lily. How're you?" Mr Potter asked from his armchair when Lily walked down.

"I'm alright, Mr Potter. How are you?" She asked, setting her trunk by the door.

"It's Harold. And I'm good. Remember, you can come here over the summer holidays if you don't want to go home with your sister."

"Thank you, but I probably will have to stay with her for a week or so. And I doubt Marlene and Isabelle will let James have me all summer." She laughed.

Harold Potter smiled, "As long as you have somewhere to stay and know our door is always open."

"Thank you." She smiled.

"James! Sirius! Come on!" Elizabeth shouted up the stairs, emerging from the downstairs library.

"Lizzie, they won't be late. Stop fretting." Harold rolled his eyes.

"Don't tell me what to do, Harold." She snapped, smiling when James and Sirius came down the stairs, "Right boys, behave in the ministry car, please. Your father and I don't want a complaint for rowdy children."

"Don't worry; I'll keep them in check." Lily said, opening the door when she heard the Ministry car beep for attention.

"You haven't managed in 6 years, Lily-Pad, you certainly won't now." Sirius grinned and bounced out the door.

"Are you begging for a haircut, Black?" Lily said sweetly as she waved to Mr and Mrs Potter before she left the house.

"Keep an eye on her James." Elizabeth said, hugging her son.

"I will, Mum. See ya, dad!" He shouted, running out of the house after the others and sliding into the seat next to Lily.

Isabelle, Marlene and Alice had planned a lovely, relaxing, girly night for Lily. Having been friends with Lily for 6 years, they knew she was stubborn but they also knew she was hurting. Marlene, having been good friends with James since childhood, had been sending letters to James over the Christmas Break to make sure Lily was bearing up and she wasn't being typical Lily, shutting everybody out.

Marlene had told Isabelle and Alice everything that James had told her (unless James has specifically told her not to) and the three girls had decided upon holding a girly night for Lily, like the old days. Isabelle was in charge of make-up and other girly things such as facial masks and nail varnish, Marlene was in charge of getting the boys out of the common room and bringing alcoholic drinks and fatty snacks, and poor Alice was stuck with the oh so difficult task of getting Lily out of the library and into the common room.

"Lily." Alice whined (not for the first time that evening) "It's the first day back after the holidays."

"I'm aware." Lily said her head still in her charms book.

"Get your head out of that bloody book right now."

Lily looked up and raised an eyebrow, "Why?"

"You deserve a break." Alice took Lily's distracted state to shut the book (not before marking Lily's page though) and drag the smaller girl up out of her seat.

"Alice! I was reading!"

"Yeah, and now you're not, come along." Alice grinned and dragged Lily up to the common room, where Marlene was lounging cat like across the sofa, and Isabelle was sitting in some strange, yoga-like position, on the floor.

"Finally! Merlin, took any longer and Marlene would have been drunk." Isabelle grinned and laughed when Marlene threw a cupcake at her.

"Trust Marlene to be the drunken one." Lily laughed, taking a seat on the floor near Isabelle, "So this is why you've been badgering me in the library for an hour?"

"Yes." Alice said, sitting in an armchair after grabbing a cupcake, "So, girlies, what's first?"

"How was your holidays?" Lily asked them all, as Isabelle scrambled up off the floor toward Lily and demanded she outstretch her legs so she could paint her toenails.

"Boring, I missed you all." Marlene said, sitting upright and hopping over to paint Alice's toenails, "I need a girly night."

"Living with all those boys must be hell, Marls." Isabelle said with a sympathetic smile.

"You should have forced them into a girly night."

Marlene laughed as Alice squirmed when she accidentally touched her feet, "Face masks and nail painting? Can you imagine my Mason's face?"

Lily grinned, "Yeah, and I'd give anything to see it happen."

"You try it, he might not kill you." Marlene laughed, "Alice, keep still!"

Alice wiggled her feet again, "It feels funny."

Isabelle laughed, "You don't like your feet touched then?"

"Hell no, I'm not a creepy foot lover like you." Alice replied, grinning as Marlene finally finished painting her toenails, "Alright, Marsly, your turn. Colour?"

She shrugged, "Red."

"Oooh, seductive." Alice grinned.

"Yeah, who you trying to impress?" Isabelle asked as she finished painting Lily's toenails pink.

Marlene smirked and took a swig of butterbeer, "Nobody."

"Liar." Isabelle said as Lily picked a variety of colours and started painting Isabelle's toenails.

"I don't need red toenails to impress people, Iz. You know that."

"What about you, Iz?" Alice asked, looking up from Marlene's feet, "Anybody caught your eye?"

Isabelle and Lily shared a look; Alice and Marlene didn't know about Isabelle's crush on Sirius Black.

Alice may have missed the look, but Marlene didn't; Marlene McKinnon missed nothing.

"Well, I'll take that as a yes, then." She said.

"What? I said nothing!" Isabelle protested.

"Don't come that game with me, Isabelle." Marlene said, raising a perfectly shaped eyebrow, "I saw that look between you and Lily. Now, who is it?"

"Nobody." Isabelle replied, "Tell her, Lils."

Lily looked up from Isabelle's feet, "Tell who what?"

"Tell Marlene that I don't like anybody."

"Eh, I don't know if you like anybody or not. I'm no mind reader." She laughed and finished Isabelle's now multi-colours nails, and cracked open a bottle of wine.

"I will find out." Marlene warned, grinning and wiggling a glass in Lily's face.

"Don't worry, Marsly, I'll give you a drink."

"I'm not worrying, dear." Marlene grinned.

Lily poured everybody a glass of wine and they all started to paint their own nails.

"So, Iz, who is it?" Marlene asked after a while.

"Nobody!" Isabelle groaned and swore in French at Marlene's persistence.

"She's not going to give up, you may as well tell her." Lily said, blowing on her nails.

"Lily!"

"So you do like somebody!" Alice grinned, "Come on, we're all friends here, who's the lucky fella?"

Isabelle sighed, "Sirius Black."

The common room fell silent.

"What about me?" Sirius asked, bounding into the common room following by James, Remus and Peter, "Discussing who is hot?"

"Nah, they said you, not James Potter." James grinned as Sirius swatted him around the head.

Sirius watched Isabelle as she suddenly found her fingernails really interesting; he wandered over to her and plonked down beside her, "Why are your toes all different colours?" He asked, frowning.

Isabelle looked at her toenails, which varied from being pink, to red, to blue and green; she even had a sparkly nail. She shot Lily a glare who giggled, "I don't know, ask Lily." She said quietly, her nails still really interesting.

"It's cute." He smiled, "Did you have a nice Christmas?"

Isabelle made a mental note to murder Lily Evans later that night, "Yeah, it was nice. Did you?"

"Yeah, it was great, James and I wound up his parents but y'know, it was fun." He grinned a childish grin.

"You spent Christmas with James? What about your family?" She asked.

Sirius didn't reply and his face hardened.

Isabelle looked up from her nails, "Sirius? What's wrong?"

"I don't get along with my family."

"Oh. Sorry."

He sighed, "Don't be. You weren't to know."

Isabelle looked up for one of the girls to save the awkwardness between Sirius and herself, but the common room had emptied. They were alone.

She frowned, "Hey, where did everybody go?"

Sirius looked around and shrugged, "No idea." He really did have no idea how everybody left so silently, and he also disliked the fact they had; it had become really awkward between the two of them.

"So, I better go.." Isabelle said, standing up.

"Why?" He asked, "You're just going to leave me alone?"

"I'm sure you'll cope."

"Izzy." Sirius sighed.

"What?" She asked, looking at him again; she didn't even bother telling him not to call her Izzy.

"Don't go."

"Why not?"

"I want you to stay."

"Why?"

He shifted uncomfortably, "What we playing, 20 questions?"

"Why not?" She said, sitting back down and crossing her legs back in the funny, yoga like position.

"How do you sit like that?" He asked, frowning.

"Is that your first question?"

"Is that yours?" He replied, grinning.

She punched him lightly, "Oh, fuck off."

"Sorry." He smiled, "Alright. First question, favourite colour?"

She raised an eyebrow, "Purple. Yours?"

"Red. Gryffindor colours, y'know."

"Oh, macho. I was expecting baby pink or something." She smirked.

"Oh, fuck off." He grinned, "Next question. Favourite place?"

"France." She said straight away.

"Do you miss home?"

She nodded, "All the time."

"What do you miss?"

"My family and friends and France is a beautiful place…" She trailed off.

He smiled sadly, "Will you ever go back?"

"It depends."

"On what?"

"My life here."

He raised an eyebrow, "What would make you change your mind?"

"I think it's my turn to ask you some questions now."

He nodded, "Alright."

"What's your favourite place?" She asked, playing with a strand of her hair.

Sirius watched her, "Here. At Hogwarts."

She frowned, "Why?"

"It's the only place I've ever felt at home."

"Why?"

"I'm not a true Black…." He smiled slightly, "I'm the traitor, the black sheep in the herd of white, Gryffindor, not Slytherin. I hate all my family, well most of them, and I hate their motto's, their beliefs."

"You're better than them, then." She said, looking at him with a scrutinizing gaze.

"You think?"

She nodded, "Of course. I've seen the way Bellatrix behaves, like scum, you're not like that."

He hated the mention of his cousin, "Next question."

"Do you like it at James' then?"

"Yeah." He nodded, smiling, "It's like my second home."

"Do you ever want to settle down?" She asked, as casually as she could.

"I don't know, I doubt it. I've never had a girlfriend, never wanted one, really."

"You've never loved anyone?"

"No, I have." He said shortly, looking down at his lap.

"Who?"

Sirius hesitated before replying, "My brother."

"And you don't now?"

He shook his head.

"Why?"

"I think that's enough for tonight." He said and stood up, heading toward the portrait hole to leave.

"Sirius?" Isabelle asked quietly.

"Yeah?" He replied, turning around to look at her once more.

"Do you ever think you'll love somebody again?"

He swallowed, "I don't know, Izzy."

And then he left without another word, and Isabelle was left alone in the common room, pondering the conversation she'd just had with Sirius Black and wondering what she could possibly do to change his mind.

"James!" Lily laughed as James tugged her down the hall; he'd covered her eyes with a blindfold and refused to tell her where she was going, "James, we've been running for ages!"

James laughed, "We're nearly there, I promise!"

James led Lily around the corridors and up the stairs until they reached the Astronomy Tower.

"It's cold. And windy. Where are we? It's past curfew!" Lily fretted, feeling the cold stone wall beside her once James let go of her hand.

"Open your eyes." James said with a grin.

"They are open. You've still got the bloody blindfold on."

"Oh. Whoopsy." He waved his wand and the blindfold was removed.

Lily opened her eyes and gasped; she couldn't believe her eyes. James had set out a thick, fluffy blanket on the floor, with a cake stand full of chocolate chip muffins and two, tall mugs of white hot chocolate- Lily's favourite.

"I just thought you deserved nice little night out." He mumbled, unsure of whether she'd take to the idea of the refreshments he'd brought, due to all the memories they evoked with her father.

"It's lovely, James, really. And the stars are out." She smiled and looked up the sky, taking a seat and patting the spot beside her, picking apart a muffin.

James took a seat next to her and took a drink of his hot chocolate, smiling as he watched Lily gazed up at the stars and sip her hot chocolate through a swirly straw. Lily seemed to feel his eyes watching her, because she turned around and smiled at him, and then decided the space between them was too much; so she shuffled along and climbed onto his lap.

"You cold?" He worried.

"No. I just want to be closer to you."

James smiled and kissed her lightly, his tongue dancing over her lips, silently begging for entrance; Lily immediately obliged and deepened the kiss, discarding her muffin and tangling her fingers in his hair, tugging on it oh so slightly. James sighed happily and wound his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him- if that was even possible- and kissed her passionately until they had to part for breath.

Lily giggled.

"What?" James asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You have muffin in your hair." She said with a giggle as she ruffled his hair.

James grinned, "You did that on purpose. Just so you could touch my perfect locks."

"I don't need muffin in your hair to touch your perfect locks." She scoffed with a mischevious smile.

"Oh? How else can you touch them then?" He replied, raising an eyebrow.

"I could tell you…"

"But?"

"But I'd prefer to show you." She whispered, capturing his lips in another passionate kiss.

James gasped in surprise, allowing Lily entrance to his mouth; she had taken complete control of the kiss and pushed him lightly against the blanket. Once the kiss eventually broke, Lily curled up on his chest and spent the remainder of the night gazing at the stars, until she finally fell asleep with James playing with her hair.

A/N: Was that okay? Please review. Please.