Edward realised that he'd pretty much lost his mind. After all, he was displaying most of the symptoms of full blown insanity.

But that hardly justified the huge mistake he had made.

(...)

Blazing sun filtered through the window, roughly tempting Jacob awake. He didn't move, unwilling to scare the remaining sleep out of his limbs. As the minute of inaction threatened to turn into an hour, and the sun grew brighter from where it was desperately seeking refuge from the outdoors in the shade of his room, he rose and plodded out of the room.

He felt groggy and uncomfortable, as if he'd had given his body too much rest and it was trying to pay him back with sluggish limbs and an inability to concentrate.

The events of the previous night were not forgotten. Jacob couldn't imagine them ever being thought of more than in the hour he sat at his table eating breakfast and enjoying the solitude of the morning. He replayed every moment, flinching at the memory of his own strange behaviour. It was a surprise that Edward even understood what was going on, with Jacob acting so abnormally.

The easy feeling was gone. Jacob no longer felt that everything could be fixed between him and Edward by that single kiss, even if he'd managed to convey just half of what he'd wanted to say. It would never be that easy. His own behaviour, everything about the interaction made him feel a little bit uncomfortable in the light of the day.

But he didn't regret any of it for a second. Though his manner of going about the whole thing caused him embarrassment, he couldn't stop the goofy smile that spread across his face.

He was happy.

As strange and foreign as it felt to him, he recognised the feeling. From a time long ago, before his life had turned into a fairy-tale drama. It had been so long.

Jacob grew tired of smiling like a crazy person at his kitchen table. It was irrational, what he was feeling. He couldn't explain it, whenever he tried he just ended up more confused.

But still just as happy.

His entire world had been completely turned around sometime years and years ago, in the dark caverns of his memory.

He was in love with a vampire.

Which should be pretty messed up.

It didn't feel messed up.

Jacob rose from the uncomfortable chair. He left his dishes in the empty sink. He didn't remember cleaning anything, by all accounts of memory the benches should be overflowing with old plates and cups, but he supposed that, in the cacophony of his mind only hours previously, the memory had merely been erased.

Everything was so quiet. The world seemed to be standing still outside of the walls of his house. Time passed, Jacob was aware of it, but it hardly seemed to matter. He had nothing that he had to do, and even though the idleness should feel unnatural, he didn't mind it.

By the time it did grow annoying, more than half the day had been wasted. The stillness of the day had been disturbed by a slight breeze at some point, and by mid-afternoon it had grown into a true gale.

It wasn't rare for Jacob to have a day off. With everything as it was in his gang, they were spending less time together than they were spending apart. Jacob spent a lot of time alone in his house.

Things were very slowly getting better. But it was still chaotic trying to deal with all of it. His whole life had fallen into disarray for the last year. But he felt like he'd finally figured something out.

(...)
The wind snatched the door out of his hand and threw it hard against the frame as soon as Jacob was inside. The Cullen house was almost completely dark, brief flashes of watery moonlight the only source of illumination. It was quiet too. The buzz of silence filled Jacob's ears, to the point where he began to worry that it would obscure any other sound.

Jacob couldn't smell anything out of place. The only vampire who had been here since Jacob had last left was Edward. But something was amiss.

Without conscious consent, Jacob could feel his hackles rising. He slipped silently and easily into hunter mode, crouching low and moving closer to one of the walls. Even knowing as he did that he should expect no danger from the darkened house, Jacob was unable to relax his posture as he delved deeper.

Still the silence whispered about him.

Jacob knew the house better than his own, had spent countless hours detailing the map in his head. He didn't need the light to make his way around.

He heard nothing, saw nothing, but suddenly felt the air stir. It was nothing really, barely a breath of difference compared to the gale raging outside, but Jacob knew that someone else was there.

It could only be Edward, but if it was, why didn't he say anything? Why stalk the shadows, as Jacob was doing himself?

Another movement. Jacob could see Edward silhouetted against the windows as the clouds parted once more. In a flash the inky vision was gone, but Jacob knew that Edward himself had not so much as stirred.

Jacob felt as though a shard of ice was holding him in place, pierced directly through his chest. This was not right. It was only the two of them in the house, of that Jacob grew surer by the second. There was no threat, and yet the wolf in him fought to growl a low warning.

The silence grew stronger, until Jacob grew afraid to break it with the sound of his own breaths. He wanted to speak, to say something to Edward, but he could not bring himself to form the words.

Something was wrong.

He stayed, half crouched, half standing, waiting for something. Anything.

Edward was completely still. Each flash of light that punctured the cloud cover revealed his stark outline. Jacob began to wonder whether it was truly a living thing that faced him.

Jacob could see well in the dark, without the occasional lighting, but Edward was sunk so deep in shadow that Jacob couldn't make out much.

Jacob began to panic. His instinct was willing him to take charge, to attack, to do something. He was barely managing to keep his reflexes in check.

He'd come on Edward's request. It had been the quiet words given to him as they parted the night before, standing on the edge of his land, that had brought Jacob back again so soon. Jacob had tried again to ignore the sadness escaping from the vampire, but the memories came back now with full force.

What had Edward truly been feeling, when they had parted yesterday? Jacob had barely been able to spare it a thought, he was too tired for anything of the sort, but now he began to worry. This was the worse of worse-case-scenarios that Jacob could have come up with, since he had absolutely no clue what was going on.

It was Edward that broke the silence.

In a shattered voice, too low for human ears to pick up, he spoke into the retreating silence.

"You should go Jacob."

Jacob tried to understand what Edward was saying, but everything was still making no sense. He understood what was being asked of him, but had no clue as to why.

He shook his head violently into the darkness.

He knew that Edward had understood as the vampire sighed, deep and seductively, and shifted from his place by the window.

Jacob swallowed, and finally found his words.

"What's going on Edward? What's wrong?"

"I warn people, but do they listen? No."

Thinking too much with his human mind was dampening the wolf's senses. Edward had disappeared into the darkness and Jacob no longer knew where his voice had echoing from. It slithered out of the darkness to greet him.

"But you, Jacob, you should know better."

Jacob turned sharply as he felt the air shift just over his left shoulder. He could see nothing behind him.

"I'm a hunter," Edward continued. "I hunt things. I'm dangerous. I should be avoided."

"What are you doing? I don't understand."

"Of course you don't," crooned the voice, settling upon Jacob from somewhere. "You understand so little. I don't want to hurt you, dog, so I will suggest again that you leave."

Jacob shook his head again. He didn't know what Edward was playing at, but this was ridiculous. Even still, his body would not relax, and he could not help but recognise the very real threat.

"Have it your way."

Jacob twisted slightly to one side, though the movement did little to reveal Edward's hiding place.

What Edward was saying made little sense, but one thing was clear to Jacob. Whatever it was that had thrown Edward into this state, it must have happened last night. That seemed, at the very least, to be a good place to start.

"What did I do, Edward? What happened last night to make you feel this way?"

The low voice hushed him. Jacob had heard the voice of a cold hearted killer enough to know that this was not it. Jacob could feel the emotion lurking beneath the calculated tone. There was sadness there, regret and confusion and a whole heap of something that Jacob couldn't recognise. Edward was defending himself against the pain by pushing Jacob away the only way he knew how. Threats and the attempted reveal of his true character.

But Jacob already knew who Edward was. What he was. He'd come into all of this knowing what he was doing, with his eyes wide open, and he wasn't about to be scared off by some Ventriloquy and a couples of vampire party tricks.

If Edward had changed his mind, of he didn't want this, he just had to say it. Jacob was listening.

Even so, Jacob thought that he finally understood just how dangerous Edward could be. This Edward wasn't the bloodthirsty monster that Jacob had always imagined, the side of a vampire's power that he'd always been exposed to. This hunt wasn't a frenzy, quick and unavoidable.

This was slow. It was personal and tireless and Jacob could feel the sheer force of Edward's presence filling the room. In a way it was terrifying. A true hunt and a patient hunter.

"Edward." Jacob spoke out against the oppressing darkness. There was no reply. The room was completely still. Jacob took a chance and freed a recent memory, sending it out into the room around him.

There was still no reply, but the memory sparked some movement in Edward. Jacob could feel him moving in the darkness. It wasn't at all reassuring. The sudden flurry sent shivers up Jacob's spine.

Reminding Edward about what had happened last night was the wrong move.

Jacob took a step forward. The movements stopped. They both stood, frozen in their respective shadows. Jacob chanced another step forward.

"Edward, I don't know what's going on here. If you've…Oh God, I don't know…If you've changed your mind about everything, about me, that's fine. You just have to say so and I'll go. You-"

Jacob stopped. Edward knew the rest.

Nothing was said in the darkness for a long moment. Slowly, Jacob could feel the tension lessen and the ominous mood of the darkness change. He felt like he could breathe again, but even as the atmosphere became more comfortable, Jacob could feel his own chest constricting. He waited for Edward's words. He feared what they would be.

When Edward did finally speak, it wasn't the silky smooth richness that had whispered to Jacob out of the darkness. Edward's voice was still quiet, but it was no longer the controlled facade that it had been. It was desperate and broken. It broke Jacob's heart to hear it, even more that the words it composed.

"Please. Just leave."

(...)

"...okay."

Jacob turned. He knew where the door was. He had to leave. He had to get out. He took a step, but remembered that there was something that he had to do. Not his words, but they had to be said none the less. To protect-

"You can't stay here. Leave while the pack is still young." Sam's advice from an age ago. Jacob desperately regretted not deciding that morning to begin living as a recluse.

His head was spinning as he was thrown back into the chaos from which he had escaped for a short while. Everything was crashing again, everything was uncontrollable noise.

It was difficult to move towards the door without stumbling while trying to bite back the bile rising in his throat.

It was happening again. All over again. He was losing something that had held him, for some unknowable amount of time, to sanity, and he had no idea what to do.

All the whole his brain was screaming blame internally.

You should have known better.

You should have known better.

Who would ever love you?

He was glad that Edward couldn't know his thoughts. The vampire had made his choice, he'd shown Jacob the way things stood. Jacob cursed himself for being so blind. Hope was a luxury that he'd been denied for so long, a light in the dark confusion of his life, and he'd allowed it to blind him to the truth.

Jacob couldn't hear the silence anymore. It was lost in the white noise of his mind. He suddenly found himself at the door.

Even amongst the confusion that had grabbed hold of him, a moment of clarity broke through. At least he was leaving it all behind. This time at least there was nothing to come back for, no duty of care or ghostly memory. This was truly the end.

He stretched his hand out towards the wood, but before his fingertips could reach it their path was impeded. Edward stood pressed against the doorframe.

Outside the wind had dies down, and the milky light of the moon no longer flickered through the large windows. Jacob could see Edward, as plain as day, standing completely still. His head was bowed, and though he made no movement to let Jacob pass, he didn't look up to meet his eyes either.

Edward had appeared seemingly out of nowhere. Whatever motive he had for blocking Jacob's exit, he was past caring. Nothing mattered anymore. Maybe Edward had been completely serious about the predator/prey thing, maybe it hadn't just been an attempt to scare Jacob off. Maybe he'd already forfeited his life by coming here to tonight. He didn't really care.

But Edward's shoulders were hunched, the tips of them almost brushing his ears. His eyes downcast and his hands tucked away, against the wall behind him. Not the stance adopted before murder. He looked almost contrite.

Jacob's fingers were still stretched out in front of him, hovering centimetres away from Edward's chest. As he realized this, Jacob brought his hands back down, and just wished that the vampire'd get on with whatever he was going to do.

"I'm sorry."

Jacob felt a shock run through him. He hadn't been expecting words at all, and certainly had not foreseen this. It blew his idea of what was happening even further from any semblance of accuracy. He gathered the courage to speak himself.

"Edward, what in god's name is going on?" Jacob was aware that he was repeating himself, but as he had yet to receive an actual answer to this question, he would continue asking.

"I'm sorry Jacob, but I can't..." Edward trailed off, voice still whisper soft.

Jacob didn't think that he could take any more. It required all of his strength just to be able to walk out of the door, or it would have, if he'd gotten that far.

"I know that you don't want to be with me. That's why I'm going."

Edward let out what might have been a chuckle, a half strangled noise.

"I want...but I can't...I can't be her, Jacob."

He must have misheard, because of all the things Edward had said to him in the darkness, this made the least sense.

"I don't understand."

"You always...I mean come on Jacob, it was never me. It was her. You only wanted me because you couldn't have her, and I did. That stuff happens all the time. But I can't do this. I'm not going to play her ghost."

Jacob balked at this insight into Edward's clearly addled mind. Edward thought that this was about Bella?

"You think-" Jacob began, but Edward cut him off.

"I know. This was never about the two of us. If you think about it I suppose it makes perfect sense. I..." Edward grimaced, as if he was having trouble understanding what he was feeling.

Jacob would wager that he himself was in a worse state. It made no sense, no matter how reasonable that sad and velvet made it sound.

This had nothing to do with Bella. This was something completely new, something that Jacob had never come close to experiencing before. What he had felt for Bella had been different. Diluted by the innocence of childhood memories and twisted by their prelisting friendship, it had never been anything like this. Untempered by friendship or history, this was actual in every way that his vision of Bella could never be. This was fierce in its physical incarnation and absolute in Jacob's mind. It wasn't corrupted by the lurking influence of a history.

Jacob needed Edward to understand. He'd never done something like this before, and chances were he would never do it again. And to had nothing to do with Bella. She was a memory, a ghost awakened more than any spirit ought to be by the never ending memories of those who loved her. It was high time she was allowed to rest. She was gone.

"Bella is a part of our history, sure, but not...Edward, what I feel for you is completely different." Jacob's voice faltered.

Edward's eyes flicked, blazing, up to meet Jacob. Jacob could see his own angry desperation echoed in them.

"Bella is the only reason you came back and saved me in the first place. She will always be the reason that you're here."

Jacob was stunned. He had come back here for Bella's sake, but she was nothing but a memory now. He'd tried so hard to find a way to move on.

"It started that way. Sure. I came because I knew that Bella would rather die a hundred times over than see you suffer."

Edward remained silent, and his eyes had fallen from Jacob's face.

"But I didn't stay for her. I didn't come back for her. Jeez, Edward. Last night, I didn't come here because of her."

Edward still refused to meet his gaze, but Jacob could see his eyes slowly inching closer.

"In all the chaos, in everything that was going on, I came to you. I wasn't looking for her. I wasn't hoping that, in some twisted way, by being with you I would be with her. I wanted you. You. As you are. Edward Cullen. The fairy-tale villain that my father always told me about. And I don't know why. But I do know that it's the only thing that's felt real to me in a very long time."

Edward finally looked up at him again. Jacob could see the worry still lurking in the amber depths, but it was slowly disappearing.

Jacob inched closer to Edward, crowding him against the door. He stopped when he was inches from Edward's face. He wanted, more than anything, to reassure Edward. Jacob knew that Edward didn't feel the way that he did, about whatever was going on between them. Whatever it was to Edward, they didn't want the same things, beyond what was happening in the here and now. That much was clear.

"I want this to be important, but I know that it can't. I know that I can never make this something that matters, to you. But it matters to me. And it is about you, Edward."

Edward leaned forward and kissed Jacob with a wild and reckless abandon. The intensity of it left Jacob breathless, and when the kiss was broken he could barely gather his wits.

Jacob had never been one for making speeches, but it seemed that this one had worked.

They were standing so close that their foreheads were still pressed together. Jacob could feel Edward smiling against his lips.

"You're wrong, you know."

Jacob smiled back, against the words Edward was uttering quietly.

"Oh?"

Edward looked up at Jacob, golden light dancing in his eyes.

"This is important, and it does matter to me."