Estrangement

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N:

Chapter 18 (Connections and Determination)

"Central Park is so huge!" It was larger than she'd imagined it to be. Tori and Zack were walking towards a stone bridge resting over the paved pathway they were on. There were trees rising up on both sides, covering the entire path, letting streams of sunlight shine through. It was a breathtaking sight. "I never, in a million years, thought I'd be walking in Central Park."

"Yeah, you get used to it, but it's still amazing." Zack stepped to the side to let a tourist move by. He smiled respectfully, then moved back beside Tori. He pushed his hands into his denim jacket and looked up to the green leaves above his head. "Some people travel to New York just to see the park. Beautiful in the Spring, the Winter, the Fall…pretty much all year round."

Tori sighed deeply and snuggled her blue jacket closer to her body as a cold breeze shot past her. She didn't know exactly what to expect and originally thought to wear a short sleeved shirt with a bit of a skirt, but Zack told her it would be chilly, prompting a last minute wardrobe change. Now she had long jeans, a purple long sleeved shirt and the jacket.

"Kind of like it's chilly all year round?" Zack chuckled as she turned a wry smile to him. "Living in LA, I'm used to heat."

"I can understand that. It won't take long to get used to the weather here though, trust me." She watched as he moved over to a food stand. Curious, she hurried over in time to see the man prepping two hot dogs. "There are a lot of vendors in NYC too." She took one of the hot dogs, thanking him before taking a careful bite. The flavors mixed on her palate, soothing her as she swallowed the food down. "You look like you've never had a hot dog before." He smirked teasingly and she wiped a spot of ketchup from the corner of her lips.

"That is good." Tori cleared her throat and the two started moving once more. "I mean, of course I've eaten hot dogs before. Maybe not a New York hotdog, but I'm reminded that I actually enjoy the simpler things." She'd always been big on fancy, big on class, and even when she didn't have much, she'd shoot for expensive stuff.

"Sometimes the simple life is better. It's easy to get caught in the fast track of things, so slowing down is good to bring yourself back to reality."

"True." She took another bite of her food, chewing it slowly as she scanned the area. "I know I've already said it, but Central Park is amazing. New York City doesn't feel so cold when most of the coldness comes from your sister, though."

"Sounds like you two have it pretty bad."

"Well it's not like either of us are in prison, but that could be debatable." Zack raised an eyebrow and the two sat down at a nearby bench. She took a heavy sigh before reluctantly going onward. "I could very well be in prison and Trina's the jailor and warden."

"Well that is one way to look at it, but at least you're trying to make an effort."

"It's hard though. I mean, hell, I'm scraping sweat drenched towels off the floor!" She put her hand to her forehead and shook her head. "I've come a long way from where I was when I was a young girl."

"Oh?" A distant barking was heard from nearby. She turned her head and smiled as she saw someone walking their dog, a small Yorkshire Terrier that was barking at a squirrel nearby. Zack followed her gaze. A sense of longing filled her and her eyes began to grow misty.

"My best friend and I wanted to start up a veterinarian clinic one day, or at least a rescue shelter. I've always had a love for animals, even now I still do. When my sister got into that school, I wanted to follow her lead. There was this singing opportunity she had that she didn't want, so she purposely gave it up for me, which led me to getting in. I guess I got a big head after that…everything went downhill." She turned her head down and stared at the half eaten hotdog. Her shoulder warmed as Zack gave her a gentle pat, reassuring her.

"Then there's only one way to go, right? I know I'm not one to give advice on reconnecting with siblings, but then, my situation's a little bit different. You? You're making an effort, and that's what matters. What's done is done, the damage is done, now you just need to find a way to get past all of that and move on."

"And I'm trying, it's just hard convincing her that I want to be a part of her life again. I mean…" She was hesitant to bring up his brother, but she was curious, only to know what a successful sibling might really think. Maybe he could have some tips on what Trina could be expecting. "What about you?" He leaned back and ran his hands over his knees as his eyes drifted to the nearby dog.

"What about me?"

"Well Cody's not going to be in prison forever, it sounds like. What if he shapes up and comes to you, wanting to be a part of your life?"

"Honestly? I'd be a bit skeptical of him." She frowned as Zack closed his eyes and took a sharp breath. "Like I said, it's different for me. He actually lost his mind, he became a criminal, he stalked someone and terrorized the family she was working for. I would understand him wanting to get back into good graces with me once he got out, but unless he could show me somehow that he changed, I'd be a little concerned letting him be a part of my family again."

"Even his own nephew?"

"Especially his nephew." She furrowed her brow and nodded, understanding Zack's hesitation over Alex getting mixed up with Cody. With such an impressionable mind, it wouldn't be hard for Alex to want to emulate Cody. A lot of people looked up to their uncles or their aunts as role models, and with Zack being a bit of a workaholic, Alex would more than likely look up to Cody as a role model. That being said, if Cody didn't change his ways and was still obsessing over someone, it might send Alex a sign that such behavior is okay. "My son's pretty smart as it is, it seems, but I still don't want Cody influencing him. At the same time, it is also a little more extreme, but perhaps your sister worries about the same thing in regards to her children…"

"Yeah, I think so." She took a bite of her hotdog and silently chewed as she contemplated Trina's children. The way Trina was talking to her friends at the café the other day implied she wanted her kids to understand the value of work, the value of money. She wouldn't want them to think they could just get everything they ever wanted without working for it. "She wouldn't want her kids to think they could just throw away their futures because of some stupid dream…"

Zack brandished his hand in the air, "Ah I don't think acting or singing is a stupid dream, but it's not a realistic one." She lifted her head up and frowned as he continued his explanation. It was a little confusing to hear someone say it wasn't stupid. How could it not be? It got her into the situation she was in now! "After all, in this day and age, it is extremely hard to become a singer or an actor, and unless you have connections, you just won't get in."

"So I've heard."

"Unfortunate, but not impossible. Most stars lose their identity anyway. It really just depends. Sometimes they get lucky. My brother's ex, one of the kids she worked for became some big Broadway starlet, but last I heard she still keeps in touch with family."

"Why do you think she's one of those who still at least somewhat values family?" Zack's lips thinned over and he shrugged his shoulders, speaking matter-of-factly.

"Because of my brother." Tori opened her mouth, but shut it, not knowing what to say. She really feared broaching such a tender subject because she didn't think there would be anything to say. It seemed like this man had once been close to his brother, and what happened must have shaken everyone up.

"What did he do? I mean…aside from the stalking?" Zack took a deep breath and crossed his arms, staring down at the birds on the pavement.

"Cody lost his mind, went searching for Bailey everywhere. Of course, this was after she had that falling out with her family and moved here. She changed her name, didn't tell much of her actual history to the kids until Cody actually found her." Zack started to tense and he shook his head. Tori watched his expression grow heavy and slowly moved her hand over his, frowning as a heaviness grew over her. "He started making threats to her boyfriend at the time, started threatening the kids and even the butler. He kidnapped one of them, the youngest I think, in an attempt to get Bailey to see him. Said if she didn't give him a chance, well…either way, the oldest got him from behind and called the police. I don't think that family could be closer than they were after that, so they're pretty devoted. Haven't heard from Bailey-Jessie since the court trials. I had to testify against my own brother."

"Why?"

"Because I was on the boat when the whole fiasco started. When he dumped Bailey after she told him she was pregnant, after he caused her to miscarry. I had to pin him down." Zack cleared his throat and slowly rose from the bench, smiling sadly as Tori moved up with him. "If there's one thing to be said, your relationship with your sister doesn't sound like it's ever gotten that bad. She might be a little hard on you, but I think she's probably doing that because she wants to see you be a part of her life. Just the fact that she's giving you the time of day is something to think about. Me? If Cody were to come to me right now, I wouldn't have anything to say."

"You'd turn him way without so much of a word, huh?"

"Probably. Some things can't be mended. There were things he said to me, things he'd done after that whole mess on the boat and after the trials…so no, I don't think I could ever let him back into my life."

She felt a wave of guilt, but at the same time, it was good to know that maybe there really was a chance for her and Trina to work out. She just wished that Zack could give his brother a chance, but she understood well why he wouldn't do such a thing. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Be glad your sister's giving you a chance, and don't take it for granted. She gave you that job for a reason, right? To prove yourself maybe, but also to learn."

"Learn what exactly?"

"Well, to depend on yourself. Right? You said she took your mother in because she couldn't support herself, but you can. Or at least, you have the capability to, you just need to learn how to rely on yourself."

"I guess so." She chuckled and walked with him along the path. He impressed her with his words. "You're pretty wise."

"I doubt that, I just know how to listen. When you manage a hotel, you hear a lot of crisis. You wouldn't believe the stuff people talk about in the hotel lobby." She laughed, imagining the numerous tales that must go on in the hotel. "You'd think people would realize it's a public place, but I guess they're just so comfortable that they're willing to air their dirty laundry."

"Yeah, that is true. And, I'm sorry about unloading my issues onto you."

"Oh it's fine, and it was good to let things out on my end too, so we're even." He smirked subtly and Tori nodded, feeling relieved herself. It had been good to talk some of this out, and to make connections.

"Yeah, and who knows, maybe Trina will come around. I just have to get her to see I'm willing to put forth the necessary effort. I still want to be her sister, and I do want to be in her family's life. I want her to see that."

"Then keep putting forth that effort, and if she sees it, I'm sure things will work out."

"I will. As long as there's still hope and she doesn't completely hate me, then there's still a chance. I'll take it." She'd take whatever she could get at this point, even if it meant picking up snot and sweat covered towels for the rest of her life, she would do whatever it took to get back on her sister's good graces. "I'm determined to be a part of her life again. If she'll let me…"

Looks like the date went all right, there's a lot to be learned and a lot said. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.