It's a Rum Family Affair

by Geezworld234

The UCOS team investigate a hold up at a bank and a possible attempted armed robbery with a pensioner thinking it's still WW2 at the helm. Will they be able to solve this rum case and what will this mean for one Hyacinth Bucket? Also, what baring will Sandra's jealously of Gerry's new girlfriend (a short-skirted blonde by the name of Rose) have on the case and their friendship?

15. He's Not a Full Ticket

"I am sorry about all this officer, he's never been a full ticket and I know that doesn't make things any better but, well gives you a little insight and explanation of his character." The man may have looked like an intimidating scruff bag but deep down Onslow wasn't as hard as his exterior tough shell, and Jack had been very impressed by the amount of academic words he had brought to the interview table.

"Are you saying it was your father-in-law who went into the bank, and caused the hold up?"

He nodded. "Violet had brought her father with her to London to collect Bruce, you see he has a temper and I think has hit our Violet a few times, she took her dad along so that Bruce wouldn't do any damage. Of course as she doesn't really see much of her father she seems to forget what havoc he takes wi'him, wherever he goes." Onslow explained.

"Can you tell us what happened?"

"Well Violet and her dad met us at the hotel; she made a bit of scene and dragged Bruce into the car, once he had paid for the rooms. Neither of them had noticed me father-in-law had wondered off outside. She drove off very cross and left me as usual to deal with her father. He is quite nimble on his feet for his age, and I'm not very fit so I lost him pretty quickly. I stopped outside a hardware shop for a fag, when I noticed some peculiar activity going on in the bank nearby. Once I had finished me ciggy, I peered through the window. Some old bat screamed when she saw me, causing other people to panic. Their screams clearly spooked my father-in-law and he came running out and down the street, so I chased him again. Eventually I caught up wi'him and we managed to get the last coach home.

"Where did he get his replica rifle and bayonet from?" Jack inquired.

"Oh, he's had his bayonet since I can remember and as for that toy rifle, it just appeared one day. Sometimes we don't even know he's snuck out but as I keep telling Dais you can't keep him prisoner all day, his poor old eyes will grow limpid." He replied, laughing at his own apparent in joke.

"I see, well thank you very much Mr-"

"Please just call me Onslow" the man said wearing a friendly smile.

"Onslow, you have been most helpful." Jack said concluding this part of the afternoon of interrogation.