Author's Note: Many groveling apologies for the time it took me to update. I had a long business trip followed by a family visit, during which I foolishly thought I would find plenty of time to write. I promise the next chapter won't take two weeks! Thanks for hanging in there!

Chapter 44

Lisbon woke to darkness, an empty bed, and a ringing phone. She grabbed her cell and switched on the bedside lamp. "Lisbon."

"Boss," came Cho's voice. "You need to get to Rigsby's place. Van Pelt shot someone in Ben's room. He had a knife."

Lisbon sucked in a shocked breath. "God. Are they okay?"

"Yeah, just freaked out. Need me to pick you up?"

"No, Jane and I will be there as soon as we can." Lisbon hung up and slid out of bed, noticing the light in the hallway. The clock read three a.m., and she could see the light on in the den, which meant Jane wasn't getting any sleep at all tonight.

He was still dressed, sitting at the desk staring out the window, and didn't turn around as she reached the doorway. "Who's dead this time?" he asked, not bothering to hide his weariness.

"A man who broke into Ben's room with a knife," she replied.

Jane was on his feet instantly. He washed his face while she hurriedly dressed, and they drove to Rigsby's place without speaking much. Lisbon guessed Jane was thinking the same thing she was: this was a warning from Red John about what he would do if they ran. But he wouldn't want to admit it, at least not until they were absolutely sure it wasn't something else.

There were several police cars in the street, but at least this time of night there weren't any gawkers—or press. Yet. Lisbon shuddered at the thought of the media finding out that a killer had targeted a toddler as a message to her and her husband.

As they climbed the stairs to the front door, Jane's hand landed in the small of her back. The familiar touch was reassuring, but when she glanced at his face, she realized he'd done it unconsciously, out of habit. His mind was busy taking in the scene around them, gathering clues and forming theories. That was what she needed him to do, so she turned her attention to her team.

Rigsby was sitting on the couch in the living room with a wailing Ben in his arms, looking shell shocked. Van Pelt stood nearby talking to Cho and a uniformed cop, her posture rigid. Lisbon could hear more voices upstairs, presumably in Ben's room. She would need to go see the scene, but first things first.

Sitting down beside Rigsby, she rubbed a hand on Ben's back and said gently, "Rigs, you okay?"

"We're not hurt." His tone was distant, detached. Then he hugged Ben a little tighter and repeated it, as if to reassure himself. "We're not hurt."

"Good." She squeezed his shoulder, then laid a hand on Ben's head before standing and moving a few steps to where Cho and Van Pelt were waiting. "Grace, you okay?"

"Yeah. Something woke me up, so I decided to check on Ben and get some water. Thank God I didn't just go back to sleep." Her voice shook. "I told him to drop the knife, but he took a step toward me. So I fired."

"You had your gun in your bedroom?" Lisbon asked, a little surprised.

Van Pelt looked at her like she was crazy. "Yeah, I always keep it in reach since Red John started threatening you. In case he tries to use one of us as bait."

Lisbon's heart clenched as she looked around at her team. Aside from the unofficial overtime they'd put in following her around, she hadn't given much thought to how her team had been affected by Red John's threats. She realized with a rush of shame and guilt that her focus on Jane had kept her from seeing other serious effects of the serial killer's obsession.

Cho said, "Three shots to the chest, nice and clean. No ID on him. No gun, just the knife. This was a suicide mission."

Lisbon nodded. Nobody could expect to break into a home with two cops, threaten a child, and expect to get away. Not unless he'd been lucky enough to kill them in their sleep first, and he'd gone straight for Ben. "It's a message."

Cho nodded. "Yeah."

Van Pelt frowned. "Saying what?"

Lisbon looked at her agent closely. Van Pelt was doing a good job of holding it in, but she was clearly on the edge of tears at the thought of what had nearly happened to the child they all loved. "Sit down, Grace. Has anybody called Sarah?"

Cho shook his head, then turned to Rigsby. "Hey. You want to call Sarah, or do you want me to?"

Rigsby paled a little, but he swallowed and said, "I'll do it. If you call, she'll panic." He looked at Lisbon. "Boss, can we get some protection for her? And Ben? I don't—I don't think he should be with me right now. Not until this is over."

Cho spoke before Lisbon had a chance. "Don't be stupid. The only reason he's alive right now is because he has an armed bodyguard living in. If Sarah wants to take him, she better be prepared to go to a safe house. And even that might not be safe."

"I agree," Lisbon said. "We can't hide from Red John. Not for long, anyway. He has eyes and ears all over the place. But I don't think he'll come after Ben again. This was meant to make Jane and I understand what would happen if we ran. In case we hadn't figured it out."

She braced herself for accusatory looks that never came. Van Pelt merely nodded, while Rigsby looked hopeful. "He doesn't want to kill him?"

Cho said, "Red John doesn't try to kill people. And even an idiot would have known he had to take you out of action before going for the kid. This was some idiot Red John thought was disposable."

"I agree," Lisbon said. She looked around for Jane to get his opinion, but he wasn't in the room.

Cho nodded toward the stairs. "Up there."

"Thanks." Lisbon followed the sounds of photography and found herself in Ben's room. The intruder was sprawled on his back just inside the door; Van Pelt had been lucky the crib wasn't in the line of fire or this would have turned into a standoff.

Jane was standing in the corner, staring at the crib and ignoring the corpse and the crime scene techs. Lisbon wasn't sure if that was because he deemed them uninteresting or because there was evidence she wasn't seeing on the crib. "Jane?"

He didn't turn to look at her. "He was definitely sent by Red John."

"How can you tell?" she asked, looking around again to try spotting what he was seeing that she wasn't. There was still a slim hope this had been a random break-in, perhaps by someone high on drugs.

"The knife." He held up an evidence bag with the knife in it, still not turning around. "And that."

She stepped closer, following his pointing finger to the mess of blankets in the crib where either Van Pelt or Rigsby had snatched up Ben after the shooting. Grabbing gloves out of her pocket, she reached down and pulled out the white baby blanket with the red smiley face embroidered on it. "Oh, crap."

"Yeah." Jane handed her the evidence bag, finally glancing at her. "Are Rigsby and Grace okay?"

"They will be. Nobody's hurt," she said. And then, because she didn't like the expression on his face, she asked, "Are you okay?"

"This was a message."

"Yeah, we already figured that out," she replied a little impatiently. "A warning of what he'll do if we run."

He turned to face her, looking intently at her. "Yes. Partly."

"Partly?" She was almost afraid to ask.

"If you search him, you'll find something else. Something meant for Grace. He was told to mark them, so I'd know that he can do to Rigsby what he did to me. To remind me of how it felt as I watch Rigsby imagine what could have happened."

Lisbon swallowed hard. "To frighten all of us, but especially you and me. That's why he didn't try to take me earlier. He wants to keep us where we are, knowing he can strike anytime."

Jane nodded. "He wants us afraid, so he can savor our fear. This is just a more elaborate smiley face, in a way. Or a note on the door." He paused. "I have to say, it's working."

Lisbon grimaced. "So what do we do now? Ship half the team and a baby off to a safe house that may be compromised?"

Jane shook his head. "Send Ben with his mother. We need Rigsby and Grace here. Sarah and Ben will be safe; he won't come after them unless we do something to make him angry."

"You're sure? Because we can't take chances with Ben's life."

Jane snapped, "I have never intentionally endangered a child, Lisbon." He gestured around the room. "When you look at this, you see a close call. But I see what he meant me to see. I see the smiley on the wall, the blood on the blankets. I can smell it. I can hear Rigsby screaming in horror and denial. I have lived this before."

Lisbon stepped closer to him, ignoring the techs and the photographer to reach for him. But he went still, letting her know that he didn't want to be touched, so she let her hand drop. "I'm sorry," she said softly.

He turned abruptly and left the room.

Lisbon took a moment to compose herself before going back to the living room. For the next half hour, she wrangled the coroner and crime scene techs. When Sarah arrived, she tried to give her and Rigsby and Ben some space, routing personnel away from them. She caught glimpses of Jane every now and then, lost in his thoughts. At least, she hoped they were his thoughts rather than his worst memories.

Inevitably, an argument broke out in the bedroom where Rigsby and Sarah had gone to talk in relative privacy, followed by Ben's voice sounding fretful. Lisbon squared her shoulders and stuck her head in the door. "Sorry," she interrupted. "Would it help if I took him for a minute?"

Rigsby looked slightly less harassed, while Sarah just looked annoyed. But as Ben's whining became more like sobs, Sarah closed her eyes for a moment. "Just until I calm down, yes, thank you, Teresa."

Lisbon smiled reassuringly as she reached for Ben. He clung to his mother for a moment, but then gave in to Lisbon's gentle coaxing and let her carry him out of the room. He was even happier when she took him downstairs to Jane, stretching out his arms eagerly for his favorite playmate.

"Take him for a minute, please," Lisbon requested.

Jane hesitated, but one look at Ben's tear-streaked smile did him in. "And how are you this evening, young man?" he asked as he settled Ben in his arms. Lisbon could tell his cheery tone cost him some effort, but Ben didn't seem to mind. Jane added in a more normal tone, "He needs his sleep. Can we get him settled somewhere else soon?"

"That's up to Rigsby and Sarah," Lisbon sighed. "Can you find a quiet corner and calm him down?"

"Of course," Jane said. "Some peace and quiet will do us both good. How much longer do you need to be here?"

"I think we're almost—" Lisbon broke off as she heard a new voice at the front door and identified it as Bertram's. "Oh, just what we needed."

"We'll leave you to it, then," Jane said. To her great surprise, he leaned forward for a quick kiss before hurriedly removing himself and Ben from Bertram's view.

Lisbon went to intercept her boss. "Sir. Is the media here?" That was the only reason she could think of for him to visit a crime scene.

"Not yet," he assured her. "But given that one of my agents has been threatened, I wanted to personally assure him that we will provide whatever protection is necessary for his family."

"I'm sure he'll be glad to hear it, sir. He and Sarah are upstairs in the master bedroom." Though she knew Rigsby wouldn't put much stock in what Bertram said, it might help mollify Sarah. And it would enable her to think about what was going to happen when Bertram realized two of her agents were sleeping together, as he was bound to do once he grasped the sequence of events.

Crap. Just what I needed tonight. She wondered fleetingly if she could get Jane to provide one of his distractions, but that would only be postponing the inevitable. She would leave the repercussions of their relationship to Rigsby and Van Pelt and hope they had taken time out of celebrating their news to discuss how to deal with the impact to their careers.

At least, she hoped, things couldn't get worse, at least for the moment.

mmm

Jane took Ben into the kitchen, grabbing him a sippy cup of milk from the refrigerator while putting the kettle on to boil. His head was beginning to clear, he noted gratefully, after the shock of Red John's latest move. Coming immediately after his fight with Lisbon, it had been almost too much to take. He hoped she'd read the message in his brief kiss: that she was right about the price for their running. With Ben in his arms, he had to agree the price was far too high. His fear of losing her had kept him in denial, but he couldn't hide from that fact now.

He felt the sudden urge to go and find her, keep her in sight from now on. But she'd given him charge of Ben, who was calming down, finally. Jane caught the sippy cup as Ben let go of it and laid his head on his shoulder, yawning. The poor kid was up way past his bedtime and exhausted by all the drama he was too young to understand. But that was a mercy, Jane thought. Understanding this mess just made it worse.

When the teakettle began to whistle, he busied himself making his cup of tea one-handed. It had been years since he'd done this, he realized, remembering late nights with Charlotte. He admitted, if only to himself, that he wanted it again. Though he would never pressure Lisbon, whose ambivalence was certainly understandable, he hoped to someday find himself brewing late-night cups of tea with his child in his arms again.

First, he had to find a way to kill Red John, of course. Since the killer hadn't fallen for their trap, he'd have to figure something else out—and quickly, before Red John had time to put his own plan into action. Jane thought they probably had a day or two while Red John watched them all react to Ben's close call and savored their fear and torment. He thought he had them trapped, but Jane was determined to prove him wrong. Every problem had a solution, and no trap was foolproof.

He wondered if he could talk Lisbon into getting microchipped. There had to be some way to turn Red John's obsession with her to their advantage, much as he hated the thought of her being in his enemy's clutches even for a moment.

The tea soothed him as Ben's breathing slowed, and Jane took a moment to appreciate this tiny island of tranquility in the midst of his chaotic life. He'd learned long ago to treasure these little moments and store them away in his memory palace so he could visit them when the darkness surrounding him seemed infinite and inescapable.

He was just finishing his cup when Cho appeared in the doorway. "Know where Lisbon went?" he asked.

"To talk to Bertram," Jane replied, keeping his voice soft so as not to wake Ben. "Why?"

"I can't find her. It's not like her to wander off at a crime scene." Cho sounded mostly puzzled, but Jane felt a pit of worry open in his own stomach.

"No, it's not. I'll help you look. She won't have gone far." Jane tried to calm his heart rate as he followed Cho out into the living room.

Grace was just coming back down the stairs, shaking her head. "She's not up there."

"Where's Bertram?" Jane asked.

"He was talking to Rigsby the last time I saw him. Lisbon and I talked to the crime scene guys before they left, and then I went to send the locals home. I thought she was going to rescue Rigsby. They didn't come out the front door," Cho said.

"They could have gone out the basement door," Grace said, perplexed. "But why would they have gone down there?"

"Here, take him." Jane handed the sleeping Ben to Grace as gently as he could before following Cho toward the stairs.

The basement was finished, but Rigsby seemed to be using it mostly for storage, with boxes stacked nearly everywhere in the main room. There was a definite path leading to the sliding glass door, so Jane and Cho followed it, quickly discovering it was unlocked. They went through it and up the few concrete steps to ground level, looking out at the small patch of grass partly taken up by a swingset. Then Cho started back down the steps.

"Wait," Jane said. "Do you hear that?"

Cho paused, listening. Then he started for the hedge, drawing his gun. Jane kept behind him, eager to find a clue but certain the sound he'd heard hadn't come from Lisbon.

He was right; it was Bertram they found lying beneath a bush, slowly groaning his way to consciousness.

"What happened?" Cho asked, helping him up.

Jane leaned over Cho's shoulder. "Where's Lisbon?"

Bertram blinked, rubbing at his neck. "I don't know. We came out here to look for the intruder's point of entry. I was looking at the bushes while she checked the ground close to the house. Someone hit me from behind."

Cho looked up at Jane. "Call an ambulance and help him into the house. Send Van Pelt out here."

Jane had to focus hard to understand what Cho was saying. His heart was hammering, nearly deafening him. "You think he took her."

Cho stood up and shouted for Grace, who appeared a minute later, out of breath. When she saw Bertram, a look of horror crossed her face.

"Take care of him," Cho instructed as she knelt beside their boss. Then he took Jane's arm and drew him a few steps away. "You with me, Jane?"

"He's got her. Red John has Lisbon." Jane swallowed hard. He knew his mind should be racing, trying to think of ways to get her back, but it was all he could do to keep breathing. He felt like he might throw up, or pass out, or both.

"We don't know that," Cho said. He drew out his cell phone and dialed, then shoved it back in his pocket in disgust. "Her cell's turned off."

Lisbon almost never turned her phone off, and never while they were all in the field. Jane scrubbed his face with his hands, trying to tamp down his roiling emotions so he could think clearly.

Grace was listening even as she helped Bertram to his feet. "You think Red John has the boss?"

Jane snapped, "Well, she didn't just wander off on her own!"

Cho went over to Bertram, who was swaying slightly on his feet. "Did you see anything? Hear anything?"

"No. Not that I remember. What makes you think this was Red John?" Bertram asked, confused.

"Van Pelt, get him an ambulance. If Rigsby's in any shape to help, send him out here. Jane and I will keep looking." Cho looked harassed for the first time Jane could remember.

"He planned this all along. He knew we'd all be upset and distracted working the scene, and he could get to her. Dammit!" He clenched his fists. "I should have been watching her. I shouldn't have let her out of my sight. This is my fault."

"We don't have time for that," Cho barked. "Help me find a clue, something to go on."

Jane knew he was right. He closed his eyes and tried again to calm down, to wedge a new thought into his mind. But all he could process was: Red John has my wife.