Author's Note: Water-please kindly pointed out that in the last chapter, Lisbon's thought about the baby having a disability might offend some people. I want to apologize to anyone who was offended—neither I nor Lisbon meant any kind of disparagement or commentary! It was simply a thought I believed she might have, aimed at Red John's assumption that all would go according to his plan. But I have no children, so I'm not exactly an expert on the kinds of thoughts a pregnant woman might or might not have. Humble apologies if I left a bad taste in your mouth! This chapter is pretty harmless, I think. It was originally much, much longer, but I finally decided the second half had to stand alone. That's nearly done so it will be posted tomorrow. Meanwhile, I hope you enjoy this!
Chapter 49
"Are you sure about this?" Grace asked softly as they waited for Bertram to take his place in front of the cameras on Monday morning.
Jane nodded, swallowing down his nerves. He had once been comfortable on camera, enjoying the attention. And he'd gotten a little better over the years, even using television to manipulate Red John into killing Panzer. But going on camera to speak to Red John with his wife's life on the line produced more anxiety than he could manage with biofeedback.
Cho and Rigsby came back from their perusal of the attendees and shook their heads. They'd hoped one of their suspects might turn up out of curiosity. Well, Bertram was here, at any rate, and Jane was more convinced than ever that he was involved with Red John, if not the killer himself. He hoped the team would remember to watch his expression when Jane made his plea.
Ah, finally, Bertram was stepping to the podium and beginning his prepared statement. Agent missing, presumed kidnapped, if anyone saw anything please call the tipline, blah blah blah. Jane could hardly restrain his impatience as Bertram talked like this was just another case, like Lisbon was just another agent. "And now, Agent Lisbon's husband, Patrick Jane, would like to say a few words."
Jane was glad he didn't have to summon a smile as he took Bertram's place. "As Director Bertram said, I have the honor to be married to Teresa Lisbon. Some of you may be familiar with my story and know that my first wife and child were murdered by the serial killer Red John. We believe he is involved in Teresa's disappearance as well. And it's not just Teresa's life at stake, but also that of our unborn child."
He saw that he was getting to a few of them, hardened vultures though they might be. Good. He let emotion roughen his voice. "I can't lose my family again. I can't. And I will do anything to get them back." He took a deep breath, audible via the microphone. "So I have a message for Red John. I give up. That's what you want, right? I'll do whatever you want. Just give me back Teresa and the baby. That's all I care about. You know where to find me."
Bertram had stepped forward and was trying to jostle Jane away from the podium, his hand over the microphone. Jane let him, then shuffled dejectedly to the back of the room to stand beside Grace. She patted him on the shoulder while he hung his head.
Bertram was talking fast. "As you can see, Mr. Jane is distraught. We won't be taking questions. Thank you." He stalked over to them and growled, "Jane, Cho, my office, now."
Jane glanced at Grace, who gave him an almost imperceptible nod, and followed Bertram out, falling into step with a grim-faced Cho.
When they reached Bertram's office, Cho sat down as Bertram took his seat behind his desk and Jane prowled around the room, overtly agitated. "Why did you stop me?" he exclaimed.
Bertram spluttered for a moment. "Why did I stop an employee of the CBI from offering to join a serial killer? Have you lost your mind?" He rounded on Cho. "Did you know he was going to do that?"
Jane decided it would be better if Cho didn't answer that. "We're not going to find her with conventional methods. We need to think outside the box."
Bertram leaned back in his chair. "So this is a con? I should have known."
Jane shook his head. "It's not a con. I meant every word. There's nothing I won't do to get her back. Nothing."
Bertram let out a sigh. "I knew I shouldn't've allowed this. Jane, you're not fit to be at work right now. You're suspended. Indefinitely."
Cho got to his feet, cutting off Jane's protest. "Jane's our best hope of finding Lisbon. We need him."
"For his own sake, as well as the bureau's, I can't have him on the job like this," Bertram said.
"How am I supposed to keep an eye on him if you suspend him?" Cho argued. "You can't throw him out on his own. He'll get himself killed."
"No, Cho," Jane cut in. "You don't need to worry about me."
"The hell I don't. Lisbon's counting on me, and I'm not going to let her down." Cho folded his arms and glared at Bertram.
"Are you saying I should suspend you, too?" Bertram demanded.
"You do what you have to. But we're not going to stop looking for Lisbon, and we're not going to abandon Jane."
Bertram sighed again. Then he leaned forward, setting his hands on the desk and lacing his fingers together. "When you calm down, I hope you'll reconsider, Agent Cho. I'd hate to have to suspend the entire team at such a critical juncture. Jane, we'll keep you apprised of any progress in locating Agent Lisbon. Try to get some rest."
Jane leaned on Bertram's desk, fixing him with his best obsessive stare. "I promise you this: there will be no rest for anyone until I get my wife back. Feel free to pass that message along."
Then he turned on his heel and left.
Cho caught up with him outside the capitol building. "Nice work. Assuming you were trying to get suspended."
"It's harder for Red John to track my movements when I'm not at work," Jane replied. "Besides, after this, Bertram's going to give Lisbon's case to Missing Persons and suspend you if you try to keep looking. This way, you can stay on the job and have access to CBI resources, and I have the freedom of movement necessary to pursue unconventional lines of inquiry."
Cho frowned. "I can't have you out there on your own. I'll get suspended too, and we'll leave Rigsby and Van Pelt on the inside."
"That will tip off Bertram that we're up to something."
"It's you. He thinks that anyway." Cho paused, then asked, "So what's your play here? Should I be pricing out a mercenary strike force?"
"That would be a little premature, as well as unwise. We can't trust anyone, Cho.'
"So your endgame is me, Rigsby, and Van Pelt storming Red John's lair? You don't think he'll see that coming?"
Jane shook his head. "Killing Red John isn't going to depend on firepower, Cho. It's going to come down to who's smarter."
Cho was silent for a while. "I hope it's you."
Me too, Jane thought. "I'm going home. I'll call you later."
"No way," Cho said. "I'm coming with you."
"There's no need," Jane said, but he knew it was useless. Cho was every bit as stubborn as Lisbon, and he wasn't easily manipulated. Besides, even though he'd told Cho the truth about firepower not being the determining factor in defeating Red John, it wouldn't hurt to have a reliable shot at his side.
They went to the CBI parking lot and headed for the Citroen. Jane paused, then took the piece of paper from under his windshield wiper. His breath caught as he recognized Lisbon's handwriting, and he closed his eyes after he read her loving words.
Cho pulled out his phone. "Van Pelt, pull the security footage from the lot. Someone left a note from Lisbon on Jane's car. Yeah. No, Bertram suspended him, and I'm keeping an eye on him. Call me if you get something. Yeah." He hung up and looked at Jane, then said, "You okay?"
Jane cleared his throat. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm good."
"She give you any clues?"
"No. Not that I can tell." He refused to let go of the paper, but he let Cho read it in case a clearer head might see something he hadn't.
"Sweet," Cho said. "But why?"
"Good question. Teresa obviously just took an opportunity to comfort me, but what's Red John's motive for delivering it? To make me miss her more?"
"Did that sound like a good-bye to you?" Cho asked.
Jane swallowed down his anxiety. "Maybe. But I don't think she meant it that way. I think she just wanted to tell me that in case it was her last chance. But she would have written a very different letter if she knew it was definitely good-bye." He jingled his keys in his pocket as he thought.
"Come on," Cho said. "I'm driving."
"That's not necessary."
"Yes, it is," Cho said. "You're upset. That's what Red John wanted with that note. So come on, I'm parked in the side lot."
Jane sighed, hung his head for whoever might be watching, and carefully folded the note into his pocket as he followed Cho.
mmm
Lisbon woke and lay still, hoping the nausea would pass and trying to distract herself with escape planning. She needed to think of an excuse to check out the food service and trash removal services. Those were the only ways she could think of to smuggle herself off the premises undetected; both must involve regular visits by large vehicles. She hoped she'd be able to work something out with the food delivery vehicles; the trash seemed both more dangerous and more nauseating.
Her thoughts about convincing the staff she needed a hospital had to be discarded. She couldn't risk sustaining an injury; anything too serious for the well-equipped clinic would endanger the baby.
She ignored the orderly who brought her breakfast, unable to contemplate food, even toast. Tears came to her eyes as she thought that Jane would know exactly what to bring her to settle her stomach, or he'd know some kind of trick to make the nausea fade. At the very least, his soothing voice would comfort her. But calling it to memory only made her miss him more.
Maybe it was okay to take the morning off. She could lull Red John's suspicions by pretending to be depressed. He'd surely expect her to go through that stage on her supposed journey to acceptance of the new life he planned for her. Which, she had to admit, wasn't as bad as she'd feared. But it was a long way from tempting enough to make her give up on her life with Jane.
Lisbon dozed off and on until Allie stopped by. "Hey," she said, "I got worried when you weren't at class. I brought you some ginger ale."
Sitting up carefully, Lisbon took the can. After a few sips, she started to feel better. "Thanks."
"No problem. Maybe we can grab lunch in a few minutes if you feel up to it."
"Maybe." Lisbon drank some more. "What do you do all day when you're not teaching yoga?"
"Depends. A few days a week I have classes at the university. Other days I help out around here with the administrative stuff."
"I hate not having anything to do," Lisbon said. "Maybe there's some work I could do here. I had a lot of paperwork at the CBI, so I'm good at that kind of thing." If she could get her hands on a computer with an Internet connection, she'd be home free in no time.
"I'll ask around, but that will be up to Red John." Allie sounded dubious.
Lisbon knew better than to push too hard. "And what do you do for fun?"
"Mostly I hang out with my boyfriend."
"And what's he like?" Possible ally, or just another Visualize drone?
Allie smiled. "Do you think you can get up? I'd rather tell you over lunch. Once I start talking about Tim, I can go on for hours."
mmm
Jane was so focused on the suspect list and comparing the men on it to the image they had of Red John that he could have gone all day without eating. But Cho had other ideas, and when Rigsby and Van Pelt showed up for dinner and began rummaging around in his kitchen, he decided he'd better reclaim his territory.
"How is Red John supposed to recruit me if you three are always hanging around?" he complained.
"He's not," Rigsby replied.
Grace nodded in agreement. "It's going to take more than just going on TV to convince him, don't you think?"
Jane grimaced, "It's been almost four days now. Too soon to resort to alcoholism?"
"Might be worth a shot," Cho said.
Jane's phone began to ring. He looked at it with a frown, then answered it. "Hello?"
"Mr. Jane, it's Bob Kirkland. How are you doing?"
Jane felt his eyebrows climb. "What can I do for you, Agent Kirkland?"
"As you know, we've been looking into Lorelei Martins' escape, and we think we've found an interesting connection with Visualize. We've identified both a guard at the prison and a transport driver who are members. But we're not having any luck questioning them. I wondered if you might try your hand at it."
"I'm a little preoccupied at the moment," Jane hedged. "Perhaps you haven't heard, but I've been suspended."
"I heard," Kirkland admitted. "But I have quite a bit of leeway in this case. Give it some thought. If you're interested, we can meet tomorrow."
"I'll let you know," Jane replied, closing his phone and meeting his colleagues' curious gazes. "Kirkland has invited me to interrogate some Visualize members he thinks were involved in Lorelei's escape. Which I suppose means he's finally realized I had nothing to do with it."
"A trap?" Grace wondered.
Jane tapped a finger against his lips. "Possibly a ruse to find out how much I suspect about Visualize."
"Kirkland certainly matches the physical parameters we have for Red John," Rigsby noted.
"But Lisbon hasn't known him for years, and Lorelei was very clear about that," Jane pointed out. "Besides, he isn't the smooth operator I'd expect."
"I don't put much stock in what Lorelei said," Cho said, "and Kirkland could be a really good actor. Red John would know better than to let us see his real personality."
Rigsby said, "Can't we grab one of our suspects and have you hypnotize them to tell us the truth?"
Jane shook his head. "I doubt it. Red John knows a thing or two about mind games. Remember what he did to Kristina? And Lisbon? I bet he makes sure none of his people who come into contact with me are susceptible to hypnotism."
The oven timer went off, and Jane bent to retrieve his cheesy chicken casserole. He tried very hard not to think that Red John might be taking advantage of having hypnotized Lisbon once to mess with her mind now.
"So," Cho said. "Are you going to help Kirkland?"
"I don't know. Maybe I'll sleep on it." Jane knew he was going to have to do more than catnap very soon. His brain needed deep sleep to function, after all. But he would need a sleeping pill to manage that without Lisbon's warm, soft body next to his, and he dreaded the nightmares he wouldn't have her to wake him from.
"You'll feel better after you eat," Rigsby said.
The rest of them might, Jane thought. But nothing would make him feel better except Lisbon back in his arms. Everything else was just a series of things to be endured.
mmm
Lisbon ended up spending most of the day with Allie, who seemed to have nothing better to do than chat. When they finally parted after dinner, she was exhausted, and she gratefully crawled into bed and fell deeply asleep.
She dreamed that she'd been working late and fallen asleep on the couch in her office. Jane came in and gently stroked her hair, whispering in her ear. "This is where you belong, Teresa."
Yes, of course it was. Except that when she fell asleep in the office, Jane always woke her and made her go home. That had always been true, even before they'd become involved.
The press of lips against her forehead made her smile, even as something set off alarms in her mind. The hand moving along her arm seemed wrong, lacking the sure touch she was used to.
Sandalwood. She snapped fully awake with a jerk, straining to see in the dark.
Her visitor chuckled softly and whispered, "Sweet dreams, Teresa." Then he was gone, her only glimpse that of a silhouette in the doorway.
Lisbon jumped out of bed and turned on the light, then sat and hugged herself, shivering. She'd let Red John's letter lull her into a false sense of security, believing he was only interested in her as the mother of his heir. The letters hadn't contained any hint of the sexual menace that she remembered from Red John's visit to the apartment. But his sneaking into her room while she was asleep and touching her revived all the revulsion and fear she'd felt then.
Grabbing her pillow and blanket, she went into the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She would sleep in the bathtub, if she managed to get any more sleep at all.