Estrangement

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N:

Chapter 32 (Trina's Family: Sister's Talk)

Tori stood in front of Trina's house with Silk attached to her leash. Tori took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Okay Tori, this is your big chance. Don't blow it." Prepping herself up had never been more difficult. She was shaking like a leaf and fearful of nearly anything that could cause her to screw up the one chance she was getting with her sister.

She'd been up the walls all week trying to settle her anxiety, and just when she thought she'd worked it all out, it was crawling right back up. Silk let out a gentle whine and Tori looked down at her dog with a smile. She knelt down and let her pet lick her hand, calming her. "You're right, Silk. I got this. I can do this." She hugged her dog, laughing lightly. "It's nothing so scary, right? Just finally seeing my sister willingly let me near after almost two decades. Right? Not scary at all." The dog whined once more and Tori rose to her feet with a heavy sigh. "Who am I kidding? This is the hardest thing I've ever done. I'd almost rather be picking up filthy towels again."

"That can be arranged." Trina's voice startled her forward. The woman was standing in the now open door, leaning against the frame and smirking out at her. Isis was standing right at her side, as though guarding the woman from intruders.

"Trina! I didn't hear the door open. You scared me." Her sister was holding a pair of oven mitts in her hands, and had her hair up in a ponytail.

"Well, I'm good at doing that to people, I guess." Trina smiled at the dog and bent down to pat Silk's head. "Your new pup is as adorable as you and Courtney said she was." Tori gushed as her dog's tail wagged furiously. "I just got done with the pot roast. Megan's making her special garlic butter mashed potatoes, and Sinjin's teaching Daniel to prepare some fresh carrots. So, come on in…dinner should be done shortly."

"Thank you again for inviting me over." She gave Trina a smile before following her into the house. Once inside, her breath was taken away by the high ceiling that was framed only by the railing of the second floor with a perimeter that overlooked the living room like a balcony.

The living room had an enormous marble fireplace with a loveseat facing it. Behind the loveseat was a couch that faced a large television. One of the dogs, Delgado, was curled on the center cushion. The crème walls meshed well with the light sandy desert tile floor. "Trina. Your home is beautiful!" Trina looked back over her shoulder and started to smile.

"Took a lot of time to afford it, that's for sure. Wait until you see the back patio." Trina clapped for Delgado. The dog shot up from the couch and raced up beside Isis and Silk. "Let's let the animals get acquainted outside." Tori followed her to a sliding glass door leading out to a giant concrete patio with wood walls going up halfway and screens rising from the halfway point to the ceiling of the patio. She was amazed by the size and admired the lawn chairs and swinging bench that hung in the patio.

The yard itself was very large, and the second Trina opened the door to the backyard, the dogs shot out and began running around. She watched the spectacle with a wide grin and looked over to Trina. "I said it once, I'll say it again. You've got a beautiful home."

"Thanks." Trina sat down on the swing bench and Tori took a seat beside her.
She glanced out the corner of her eyes, watching her sister gaze at the dogs playing together. It was hard to find something to say to her, but she didn't want to be awkward. "How's mom?"

"She's good. She's been looking forward to your visit, but she actually went to take a nap about twenty minutes ago. I'll have Rachel wake her up." Tori nodded and moved her gaze away, taking a deep breath as she did so. "Megan told me about what you two talked about at camp." She raised an eyebrow as Trina stiffened. "She was feeling guilty about mentioning it, she said, about her dad." Trina closed her eyes and breathed out her nostrils. "Her father is Sinjin. Always has been, always will be."

"Of course, he's the one that raised her, the one that loves her."

"Right." Tori's feet swayed in the air. She watched them kick in and out, feeling a slight sadness in her. "I'm trying not to say or do the wrong thing. I don't want to ruin my chance to be with you, Trina." Trina smiled back at her and shrugged.

"You're fine to ask whatever's on your mind. I'm guessing you want to know about Megan?"

"The thought comes to mind, but I don't want to push."

"Sinjin and I got into a bad argument." Trina rolled her head to the side and clenched her eyes shut. "I went to a bar to get away, and this college guy my age started trying to comfort me. Sinjin and I were still together, so I wasn't interested in this guy, but I was upset-depressed—so the more drinks the man bought me, the more I drank. He got me so drunk that I didn't have any control over what I was doing, I passed out and the next thing I knew, I was waking up in some hotel bedroom, scared that I'd just cheated on my boyfriend…" Tori moved her hand to her chest and met Trina's hardened gaze.

"Trina, I…I'm so sorry. It wasn't your fault."

"I know. Sinjin was amazingly complacent and understanding. I thought he'd hate me, I thought we were through. He forgave me."

"He loved you, still does."

"Yes. The next thing I know, I'm pregnant. Never saw the guy again, never gave a shit. As far as I was concerned then, and as far as I'm concerned now, Megan has a dad." Trina looked to the sliding doors, smiling as she watched Sinjin inside the house, setting the table. "Megan hasn't asked about it much either, she tells me all the time that she prefers her daddy over that man. That's also why I never had an official DNA test done."

"Never?" There had been doubts about the father being that man? Sinjin could very well be the actual biological dad! "You mean-"

"Sinjin and I had sex prior to that moment. I always considered Megan his, he's always considered her to be his. Megan learned about it years ago and asked, so I told her the truth of what happened, and she hasn't brought it up again. Time has passed since then, as I'm sure you know my college days were relatively messy at first."

"Yeah. I'm glad you're doing better though. You really are strong. I admire that about you, always have actually." Tori smiled slightly and looked up to the ceiling. "I know I've been shitty back when we were young, and you don't have to give me the chances you have…so the fact that you have means so much to me."

Trina scoffed and chuckled under her breath, "You know it's funny." Tori looked over, concerned as her sister began to smile. "To think I've built myself up so high. An empire, if you want to look at it that way. I've got it all. A loving husband, three beautiful children, wonderful pets…but I have to be honest, I have missed you." Tori's heart skipped a beat and she resisted an impulse to hug her sister on the spot. "Left my family and once I got settled, I realized Sinjin was probably right. Either way, I tried to get myself to the point where I would stop thinking about you people and going crazy every damn day."

"Crazy?" She lifted her eyebrows as Trina crossed her legs over, tapping her bottom foot gently on the ground. "You mean, you actually thought about us to the point that it was driving you crazy?"

"Basically. Hardened myself and was doing just fine until you and mom showed up at my door. When I left, I meant it when I said I didn't want you guys in my life anymore, and I was content with it." Her heart broke listening to the painful words. She knew Trina was just talking about how she felt all the way back then, but she couldn't help to feel that had she acted differently, she wouldn't have pushed her sister away in the first place.

Tori bowed her head and rubbed her hands along her outer thighs, "Yeah, I'm not surprised." Trina took a deep breath and looked over to her.

"I guess the thing I'm trying to say, to admit to is, I needed my little sister." A soft gasp left her lips as she quickly lifted her head up to Trina. She struggled to fight back her tears, and turned her lips into a small smile. Trina looked back to her door. Megan, Rachel, and Danny were helping to clean up the kitchen as Sinjin moved the roast to the center of the dining table. "Jade, Sinjin, Mom, Courtney, Kate and Emma…they're all right, I need to take into consideration that there is more to this whole picture than just you or me."

"There's a lot of life we missed out on, I think."

"Yeah, but it's not just that. My kids need to be able to know their aunt. You need to know them. Plus, there's another thing…" Tori watched Trina move her hand towards her stomach and look away. She felt a sudden rush of excitement as Trina glanced down to her hand. "Sinjin and I are having another baby. That baby deserves to know its entire family." Tori moved her hands over her mouth, covering up a large grin as her heart began to pound.

"Oh my god, that's great!" She couldn't wait to get involved in that child's life and spoil it as she planned to spoil the other three. "When did you find out?"

"About a week ago when everyone went camping."

"Did you tell Sinjin yet?"

"Yes." Trina leaned to the right and curved her elbow on the armrest. Her fingers burrowed into her hair and a sharp exhale left her. "I've been thinking about early retirement. I'm too young to retire, but being a mother of four…I don't want to be away all the time. I'm not going to let myself work to the point that something happens to this baby because I'm not home."

"You're okay to work." Tori moved her hand to Trina's wrist. Her sister's eyes flew to hers and slanted for a second before relaxing. "You've got Mom, Courtney, your husband, and even Megan's old enough to look after her kids. Then…if you allow it, even I'd be able to help…"

"Yeah, well…I still worry."

"You're a mom, Trina. Of course you're going to worry. Just trust your family…" Tori leaned back and closed her eyes. Zack and Cody drifted to her min, her heart dropped for a second and her head bowed. "Zack's brother's dying, Trina." Trina raised her eyebrows and frowned. "He's been estranged too and now he's dying. All I could think about is…that could be us. I know I almost had years ago, you've got your life in order, but I just…I don't want to lose you before I really get to be a part of your life, and vice versa. You're my big sis, and I love you."

Trina smiled and hesitatingly reached over, gently patting Tori's hand. Tori's heart jumped up and her eyes flew to Trina. "I'm not going anywhere, Tori."

"Can we work on things?"

"Yeah. We can." The sliding door opened and Sinjin stepped outside, patting his hands together. The women looked up to him as he motioned inside.

"Dinner's ready." Tori's stomach growled and she quickly got up with Trina. They made their way inside and breathed in the aroma drifting into the air. This would be a good day, Tori could feel it.

Well, some groundbreaking stuff here Your thoughts?