The Spiralling

Bonus Feature: Writer's Commentary Part 8

Chapter 9: Where Paths Cross: This chapter is designed to interweave the two separate stories together, bringing two different paths into one. This however, is done with little way of introducing Dave and Aldan to each other as they were embroiled in a fight against the latest menace to the city. Of course, Aldan was introduced to Mindy's other personality as well, Demoness, through a clash between them in which Aldan was trying to save the man she was trying to interrogate.

Through this chapter, we know immediately the difference between Aldan and Dark Mindy. The former was of course, old while the other young. The former was on the side of good, while the other has bad intentions (I wouldn't classify her as evil, seeing that she was a construct of a ten-year-old disturbed and damaged mind, seeking revenge against those that disturbed and damaged it in the first place out of suffering). The former was polite and proper even in the face of violence and hostility- Aldan was a character that most closely resembled a typical superhero. The latter was irredeemably uncouth and violent in the face of harmlessness (the man she interrogated was entirely subdued). Aldan uses tactics that minimize harm while Demoness uses tactics that maximizes harm.

As you can see from this, Aldan and Demoness are mortal enemies- It was only by virtue of the fact that they don't meet often, and that Aldan thought she was his long-lost daughter much later on, that they weren't locked in a two-way merciless combat (Aldan's exclusive aversion to doing harm unless forced to has a play in this too).

After their brief exchange, a fight broke out between them- This fight is more than just about the action. Like in a kung-fu film, it was used to match up two fighters to let them have a go at each other- In doing this, we discover how the both of them fought, and how they, well, match up to each other. Here, we could glimpse from this that despite the huge difference in age, Aldan and Dark Mindy were equal in skill, at least where swordplay and melee is concerned. Pull a gun out however, and Demoness had the advantage- This is an important development as it shows Aldan's hate for modern firearms, deeming it as dishonourable. It's another form of character development. Here, we could glimpse at another character dualism- Aldan's chivalrous while Demoness is more than willing to use anything and everything to her advantage.

Further down the chapter, the dark side of Mindy was shown to retreat without defeating both Kick-Ass and Grandmaster. This is significant, as it shows that she was after something after all, and not blundering around looking for blood. This is to build character depth. Of course, through application of refined but altogether brutal force, she was able to get what she want and disappear into the night, leaving behind two critically injured people to cover her retreat- And that was intentional too. More on character depth- Through this, we know that Dave Lizewski's still altogether far from heroic, practical and perfect. Despite numerous opportunities to learn first-aid and the clear need for it, he never did. Aldan on the other hand, knows it well enough to save a person from bleeding to death from multiple gunshot wounds.

The next significant part of this chapter is a small twist that knocks Sergeant Marcus out of the roster of active characters in the story. He was revealed to be the African-American cop who was gunned down. This has many implications and uses. First off, Demoness was never on the side of good and justice, just on her own side. She drew the line with everyone else, and wanted only revenge and her own form of warped justice. This was pretty much established before, but with this, it should be more clear and can serve as a reminder of her motivations and goals.

Now, the second thing... This is very important to ward off any suspicion that Demoness is Mindy. Sergeant Marcus, after her family had all but perished due to Frank D'Amico, was the most precious thing to Mindy. In gunning him down with absolute cruelty and without bias, this could seemingly come off as the fact that Demoness isn't Mindy in disguise. This is further strengthened that she beheaded his partner, someone who should mean something to Marcus. One could of course argue that Demoness did not put a bullet into Marcus's head, therefore she was reserving some sympathy and bias for him, but remember Demoness's modus operandi? She actively sought to inflict maximum pain over a maximum span of time without reducing the mortality of her attacks- She did this to Marcus, and his fate throughout the entire story was never really revealed. His partner was supposed to be a direct threat to her- This sort of happened in the background. He was supposed to have pulled his pistol on her, so he was beheaded straightaway- Sadists and masochists do not love death.

Chapter 10: Paragon: In other words, it's crazy TV time. Before I started penning this down, I had doubts about how this would work out, if it could work out at all. I was in my bunk at that time, when the idea for this hit me. Why not see things from Demoness's point of view for once? That ought to make things really, really, disturbingly interesting. Hence, I started putting it down into words. Then, I had an even better idea that is very different from the traditional first or third person narrative. Why not pen her thoughts down as it would surface in her dark, disturbing little mind? And so I started putting that down into words. The result scared even me- It was so disturbing that I couldn't work even the next day. I was already so stressed and seeing the monster I create had pushed me off the edge.

After recovering from seeing Cthulu, I finished it up, and boy do I realise how it worked so well. As you know, every word was presented as it would have been in Demoness's mind. Her thought organisation and processing, as you can see, is very different from a normal person. The way I wrote it was meant to be chaotic and disorganised- This is to hint at the fact that she's not exactly a normal person, but someone who was character disturbed. Someone who was even mentally ill- A small hint there that it was Mindy, except crazy, though I made it such that you can never figure it out until you read it a second time- How well it worked though, I don't know.

From the paragraphs of her thoughts, there are various times in which she seem to be talking to herself- This is meant to show that she had multiple personality disorder (this is the informal name of the disorder). One a weaker but more good-natured side while the other was the dominant but dark side. They constantly argue, but the dark side always win. The weaker side was referred to as a caged bird- this metaphor was used constantly throughout, to hint at the fact that someone was kept trapped in the darkness of Demoness's mind. It was supposed to be Mindy.

This except of her thoughts ends with her cutting herself up- maximising the presentation of her as a really, really disturbed little kid. This part though, I felt, didn't work out as well as the rest of the parts, but I left it in because I couldn't imagine it any other way- In other words, this is the best I could come up with at that point in time.

After the Cthulu I created had left the scene temporarily, another more innocuous scene develops. Mindy was reintroduced into the story after she had seemingly been knocked out of it by going on vacation. This is of course, to mean that Demoness had released her temporarily, having completed a big part of her operation. Mindy acts as if she knew nothing at all- The memories of all Demoness had done remained with that split personality. In other words, it's amnesia, at least on Mindy's side it was.

Shortly after returning home, Mindy received three SMSes, one from Dave who sent it to her much earlier in the story, another from the same person just recently while the third one was kept ambiguous, but everyone should probably guess that it was supposed to be from none other than Demoness, using another cell phone to communicate with her parent personality. This was supposed to reintroduce some tension and uneasiness but there's more to it than just to set the scene. I had always imagined that there's a battle of will going on in Mindy's mind between Demoness and Mindy- And it's a show of Demoness's desire to take over completely. Of course, being an amnesiac, the original Mindy did not know that.

Character development happens soon after. As it was absent on Mindy's side all the way, it was important. To develop her, I started writing in her reactions to the events of the very first chapter, and how far she had come ever since she started trying to live like a normal girl after the events of the original movie/comic. There was some progress in this- She had became more sensitive and more needy of attention. Being slapped was nothing compared to getting shot at, and yet she could cry from it. She was trained to function with or without teammates, but now she was craving for her stepdaddy to take her to the park. Yet, she was still divided on this change in herself. This, I feel, is indispensible character development.

Her attachment to Marcus, her stepfather, and how much she needed him, was shown as she rushed downstairs to check on who rang the doorbell. I had written it such that she was really hoping and expecting it to be her father. As she rushed to the door, Mindy was shown to be acting both like her trained assassin self and a normal girl, to show that she was acting in the highest capacity just to see her dad, but she became clumsy as she was only focused from seeing him- as evident from how she opened the front door. This is also an allusion to her change in character.

She was greeted with the bad news shortly after, a bomb we know would drop, which brings us to another element. I was going for a tear-jerker here. There was supposed to be a mix of sadness and happiness in this scene- As it was supposed that Mindy had return to a normal life somewhat smoothly (the feel is not ruined by the story's big twist, as it happens much later on), but not without consequences. Her return to normal life and a good father was a happy thing, with a touch of sadness. On the reader's side however, we know that her father was gunned down last night- Hence, the readers were supposed to feel sad for the inevitable upheaval of her life once again. I don't know how well did this work, though.