Title: My Heart Cries for you
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger
ating: T (same as the show)
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.
Summary: This one is another one where Tony isn't doing great, but he shares his idea with Ziva. I hope you are still enjoying this, gosh it's hard to hurt characters I love, power to you drama writers!

Ziva went into Tony's room a little surprised he wasn't in his bed waiting for her as usual. She'd made him roast beef and had brought bread and mustard for sandwiches with homemade coleslaw. She put the containers down when she heard something from the bathroom she hated when he would get sick like that. She knocked on the door softly then went inside. He looked up at her, she'd never seem him look so pale. There had been a few other days where the treatment made him sick but this was by far the worst.

"Just go," he groaned, he was sitting by the toilet.

"I want to help," she told.

"I've been puking on and off for the last four hours. I'm not sure you can help me and I'm not good company right now anyway."

"I will sit here and hold your hand until they kick me out if I have to."

"Ziva," he sighed.

"I am not leaving, Tony."

"You don't have to stay I can be sick all on my own. Just go."

"What I need right now is to see you and I do not care that you are sick."

"I'll never understand why you're staying."

"Because I want to, and that is what you do when you love a person."

He shook his head. "You sit in a bathroom for four hours when you can go home, or go out or do something else. I don't understand."

"We are together through everything, the good and the bad. That is part of what happens when you agree to marry a person."

He sighed softly. "So what happens if I can't beat this, cause right now I'm feeling like it's beating me."

"The doctors told you some treatments could be worse. If by some chance you don't come back from this then it would take a very long time for me to learn to love again, Tony. From the moment I said yes we were as good as married." She poured him a glass of water and handed it to him.

"This might get me going again."

"I have seen worse," she assured him.

"Were you serious, that you felt like that when I gave you that ring?" he asked.

"I am yes. If you didn't make it, although I believe you're going to get better when I spoke of you I would refer to you as my late husband, honestly."

"Zi, I- I don't know what to say."

"There is nothing to say. This is how I feel."

He was quiet for a long moment, trying to figure the right words for what he feeling. He didn't want to scare her but what he was thinking might be more than they could handle. What he was now thinking had been in his head for a few weeks now, mostly keeping him up wondering if he could ask so much of her. He wished he knew how important certain traditions were to her so he could know he would get the response he hoped for. His situation made him question how important rituals and ceremonies were when two people wanted the same thing.

"Ziva would you," he paused trying to find the right words. "Would you want to marry me before I get my marrow transplant?"

She gasped, never expecting that. "Tony."

"It's okay if you don't want to, it's not like we could go to a church or find somewhere so quickly even if by some chance the doctors let me out for the day. Besides our pictures wouldn't be that great if we could make it work."

"You have thought a lot about this."

"I have," he assured her. "McGoo did something McGeeky and he could perform the ceremony in here with just our family."

She laughed softly. "I would hope not in the bathroom."

He also laughed despite how he felt. "No, in my room before the transplant since the docs say it's the riskiest part because we don't know how my body will react."

"We could do that Tony, I think it is a very good idea."

"Are you sure? It wouldn't be a big thing and I couldn't ask you to buy a gown or anything, but we could have a few pictures."

"I know but I think it will be perfect. If we want something else we could always renew our vows when your hair comes back ad you could have a beard like the one you had when we were in Israel."

"Really a beard?" he asked, surprised.

"It worked for me Tony."

He shook his head. "I love you, Zi."

"I love you too Tony and I cannot wait to be married to you."

"I'd kiss you but my mouth is not a friendly place right now."

She kissed his cheek. "I understand," she assured him.

She helped him up and into the room and into his bed. She knew he probably wouldn't be up to eating yet, but decided she would leave what she'd brought him in case he got his appetite back after he got some rest. She held his hand, and he smiled at her, glad that she hadn't left. It helped him feel better having someone with him in the hospital room. While he was keeping himself entertained with the books, games and DVDs he'd been given and had borrowed the best part of his day was when he got to visit with someone in his family, and he liked spending time with Ziva the most.

Notes: I hope you liked this part, I had to put something happy in it cause it was pretty intense there. Lemme know what you're thinking I love to hear from 'ya. Reviews are good for the soul :D