(-a/n- Hello again! At least you've only had to wait a week for this update. Anyway, the very exciting piece of news for this week is that last Sunday night I sat on msn talking to my two best friends elfie-may and citrusfruit and together we masterminded a COVER FOR FALLEN!!!! Well, elfie-may and I masterminded it, whilst citrusfruit used her talents with adobe photoshop to put it together :D Anyway, the link is on my profile page, so please go and check it out and tell us what you thought of it :D I love it :D
Thanks to the wonderful review response, thank you so much, to each and everyone of you that is courteous enough to review, I love reading them so much, and they inspire me to update, no end.
Just to clear things up (again) I don't know how far I am through this story; every time I get a new idea it grows to dizzying lengths. I would say that I am coming up to about halfway…so about 40 done. As most of you will probably have guessed, I'm not going to stop the story when I reach the scene in chapter one, it will continue on. At the moment though, Kel is currently thirteen and a half years old. She left the palace two and a half years ago, and has been missing presumed dead, for almost two years ;D Okay:P
13.shimer.13LadyKnight44hahaheeheehahasoccer chick, K.D. Rai, abyssgirl, ilovekel, Cheeseycraziness, JaBoyYa, Love.Always.Alice.and.Jasper, Bookflower, SarahE7191, epobbp, Cede, Bradhadair fire starter, nightwisp, elfie-may, Sheba244, kitt t catte, Forget Me Not Blue, LadyKnightSusan, Horseluvr13, peddyviolin, Orohippus, oirishgoddess, Nikki, ObSeSsEd WiTh ROXAS, gaya2081, Yabberli, Golden23, RiverRebel, Book Readin' Vixen, filly8, SavingSaturn, Erynfaer, MoonGoddessBookworm, BookQn, seekerchick06, stoictimer, emerald lady, Me, killing u with umbrellas, Jaden Scorpio, tomboy, Skyline Romance, mountainelements, Michi, writer wanted, Lady Mage, x17SkmBdrchiczxx, Feed The Foxes, hamasaki, Venuspixie, Dreamwings, skyflyte12, youdontwant2no, mylovelyminion, milky way bar, NotAfraidToLive, Evil Bunny of Death, princessofcrown101, Transfiguration, Die Grosse Heldin von Lyoko, Pesche, Grace of Masbolle, Tink05, gems, seven3eight, DaughterofDeath, Lady Sapphirea, Erytha, SabbyRinaBanina, chariti, PlaidPanda543, Pie of Doomeh, BlackWidow12, The-Muse-In-Me,untamedspiral, PsychoLioness, seyyada, berndi, jesi ki kage, forbidden stars, EmpressOfPudding, stardust718, Hunchbook, JeanneAndHerAlters, Mystic Moon Empress, Jassa, Shang Leopard, Anzy, Uncertian Destiny, Tammy, The Sherberty Lemon, sillygoose2332, Da Lady Vitch, geka0taitsume0taikaiyou, Lady Knight Keladry, Enno Vy, The Shang Kudarung, clurr, littlefreeeagle, truffletruffle01, BlackCat & brezzybrez.
Opal-169 Well…in the first chapter I mentioned that Raoul won the joust, but Kel won the swordplay. And as you will find out in later chapters the main event of the King's tournament is the fencing :D Hope that clears it up.
Confusedknight xxx
Musical inspiration: "Into the West" by Annie Lennox - go listen on you tube!
Rhyan watched his friend out of the corner of his eye. She sat with her back against an old oak tree, her knees curled protectively up against her chest. One arm was wrapped tightly around her knees, but the other hung limply at her side, the small scarred hand tugging distractedly at the wet grass beneath her fingers. His gaze rose to her pretty face, the face that was set in a slight frown, eyes troubled.
'Jacqui not good today?' he asked, breaking the long silence.
Kel shook her head almost imperceptively. They fell into silence again.
It began to rain, large heavy drops splashing down from the grey, stormy heavens.
'There'll be snow soon,' Rhyan remarked, taking his eyes off of Kel to peer up though the boughs of the oak tree.
The rain began to soak through his shirt and breeches but Rhyan made no move to leave Kel. He gazed at her in silence, watching the rain running in rivulets down her face. If Kel was crying, it was impossible to discern rain from tears.
'What can I do?' asked Kel, speaking for the first time in hours, her voice cracking. 'What can I do?' She buried her face in her knees and her whole body shook with sobs.
Confused, Rhyan hesitated, before crawling the short, muddy distance to Kel and slinging an arm around her small frame. Kel leaned into him, and he tightened his hold, rubbing her soaked frame comfortingly.
As he soothed Kel, he couldn't help but smile; after all these weeks of wanting to reach out and hold her, here she was, cradled in his arms. Maybe there was hope after all.
From the moment he had first seen Kel, Rhyan had been quite taken with her and at first he was afraid that she would favour Kahleb over him, but as the weeks went by he was the only one whom Kel would ever talk to. She occasionally spoke to the twins or Siana in passing, but since the third night of the harvest festival, Kel hadn't even acknowledged Kahleb's existence. Rhyan wasn't sure why this was, but he was extremely grateful.
Kel had become a very good friend. She always listened to him, and had a way of making him feel as though he were important; Kel never dismissed him as worthless like so many in the village had.
Kel pulled away and he reluctantly removed his arm from her shoulders.
'She's getting worse by the day,' whispered Kel, as though saying so out loud would be confirming it. 'The healers say that she only has a week or so left-' Kel broke off, her throat too tight to speak.
'How're the kids?' he asked, unable to find anything to say that could comfort Kel.
'Hal and Meah don't understand,' replied Kel in a choked voice. 'How could they? They're so young. But I think Isra does, and she's scared, she never wants to leave Jacqui's side…' Kel drew in a shuddering breath. 'I don't know what's going to happen when Jacqui dies…I'm scared,' she admitted quietly.
'The children are lucky to have you there to look after them,' said Rhyan awkwardly.
'But that's the thing,' Kel half wailed, 'I don't know how much longer I can stay here with them.'
Rhyan was taken aback. Kel had mentioned the first time that he met her that she was only staying for a while, but as the months had gone past, it had never become a reality.
'Don't leave,' he pleaded. 'You have to stay.'
'I can't,' said Kel almost inaudibly. 'I don't belong here.'
'You do,' insisted Rhyan.
She shook her head. 'I can't live with Eron and his family forever.'
'Live with me,' said Rhyan, impulsively voicing the thing that he had been fantasising about for weeks.
'Pardon?' asked Kel, turning to face him for the first time, sure that she must've misheard.
'I said; live with me,' replied Rhyan, wishing his cheeks wouldn't flush so red. 'In a year or two we could get married, have some kids of our own…'
Kel's eyes were wide. 'Rhyan,' she said slowly, 'I'm sorry, but I could never marry you.'
Rhyan's hopes plummeted to the earth with a shattering finality.
'Why not?' he asked, trying to keep the hurt from showing in his face.
'I just can't…' said Kel.
'Yes you can,' he insisted.
Kel shook her head, 'Look, you've been a good friend to me whilst I've stayed here…but that's all - a friend.'
'But you always come to visit me,' he said, confused, 'and we go out on walks and talk for hours; isn't that courting?'
'Rhyan I'm sorry if I ever gave you the wrong impression,' said Kel, pity filling her eyes, 'but it was just friendship. I'm not looking for another…for a relationship. I told you right from the beginning that I would have to leave one day…'
'We're not good enough for you?' Rhyan asked bitterly.
'Don't be silly,' said Kel, 'but I don't belong here. I come from somewhere a long way from here and I have things that I need to do. Things that must be set right.'
'What sort of things?'
'There are bad things going on in Scanra,' said Kel, 'bad people who must be stopped.'
'But why must you be the one to stop them?' asked Rhyan.
'Because if I don't stop them then who will?' replied Kel.
'A warrior or somebody else, I don't know, but you could live safely with me… We could farm here at Redroc and live happily- you always said that farmers were just as important as fighters,' he said desperately, throwing Kel's own words back in her face.
'They are,' said Kel heavily, 'and for you, farming has always been your life and will always be your life. But I am a warrior; the Goddess gave me the talent to fight, which gives me the opportunity to change things. It's part of who I am, just as farming is a part of you. We can't change that.'
'We could try…'
Kel shook her head and Rhyan knew he had lost the argument.
'I've been given this road to walk Rhyan,' she said, her hazel eyes connecting with his, 'and for better or for worse I have to try and follow it. I have to try and fight the terrible things that happen, because terrible things do happen; I've seen them, and it has to stop. And sometimes it feels like I'm the only one fighting for change, but then I met this man, and he showed me that one person really can make a difference. And you know, I'll follow him anywhere, just because I know he's going to give everything he's got to make things better in Scanra. I don't even know how yet, but what I do know is that when he needs me, I'll be there, and maybe, just maybe when things have been set right I'll be able to return to my home.'
She stood up and left the blonde boy sitting in that muddy field, not looking back, afraid that if she did she would start crying again. She slipped and stumbled her way back to Eron's house and Jacqui's sickbed.
That night, dinner was subdued, everyone too aware of Jacqui's empty seat. Meah had fussed and fidgeted all evening, so Eron decided to put her to bed early. Checking that Hal and Isra were playing nicely together, Kel slipped into Jacqui's bedroom.
Upon hearing Kel enter the room, Jacqui opened her eyes.
'Hello,' she said weakly, trying to prop herself up further in the bed that she was no longer well enough to leave.
'Hi,' said Kel, perching on the end of the bed. Jacqui examined her critically.
'Bad day?'
'No,' Kel denied quickly. 'I'm fine, how're you feeling?'
'Nonsense,' croaked Jacqui, 'something's shaken you up.'
Kel gave in and told the woman whom she'd come to trust so much, all about Rhyan and his proposal. As she finished her tale, Jacqui watched her, eyes full of sympathy.
'I didn't realise that he had been hoping for more than just friendship,' admitted Kel. 'I'm not the best at observing these things. Even so, I never wanted another relationship; things just get complicated.'
'When you first came here,' said Jacqui slowly, 'you had just lost someone you cared about.'
Kel nodded, not meeting the older woman's eyes as though afraid of the pity she would find there. 'I was in a terrible place, and he took care of me,' said Kel, throat tightening at the thought of Idan. She paused, determined not to cry. 'His name was Idan.' Kel bit her lip and closed her eyes, willing the pain away.
'This all sounds like an unfortunate misunderstanding,' said Jacqui, tactfully changing the subject. 'Poor Rhyan probably didn't realise that your visit was this temporary and you can't blame the boy for trying -there aren't exactly many girls his age in the village.'
'I can't imagine ever getting married or having children,' admitted Kel.
'Well, I can't say that I understand that,' said Jacqui, 'All I ever fantasised about as a child was having kids. But I think that, in time, if you find the right person…Well you'd make a good mother… I trust you with my kids.'
'Jacqui,' said Kel, her voice hoarse, 'I'm thirteen years old.'
Jacqui's eyes widened. 'How on earth did you end up fighting for Alex?'
'It's a long story,' said Kel, examining her feet, 'and not a particularly nice one.'
'Well, whatever your age, I still trust you with my family. Age isn't everything, far from it. What really counts is in here and here,' said Jacqui, motioning to her heart and head. 'I suspect you've seen a lot of the world, and not all of it pleasant, but despite everything, the fact that you can still love and live as part of a family is something special. And you should know that when you've done what you've set out to do, you'll always be able to find people who'll love you.'
Kel felt hot tears pricking at the corner of her eyes. Jacqui beckoned Kel forward, pulling her in close and holding her tightly.
When Kel went to bed that night, she wondered what she would've done without Jacqui to make sense of things over the last few months. One part of her wished that she could tell Jacqui everything about who she was and all that had happened to her, but Kel didn't think that she had the courage to do that.
It was a week and a half later, six days since the snows had started to fall, that Jacqui died. She had slipped into a peaceful sleep several hours previously. The family sat by her bedside, listening to her rattling breath and watching her frail chest rising up and down.
Kel blinked, Jacqui's chest hadn't risen. The moment seemed to stretch on for eternity, until Kel stood up and gently sought to find a pulse at her friend's neck. There was none. She began to tremble, fighting to keep down the wail of despair that threatened to overwhelm her.
Eron let out a sound like a wounded dog and began to shake at his wife's arm. Hal and Isra stared, horrified at their father's behaviour and Meah began to cry. Kel scooped the toddler up and shepherded the two children out of Jacqui's room and into their own bedroom. Isra began to cry, fighting to return to her mother, but Kel shut the bedroom door firmly and pulled the girl into a rough embrace.
Hal, not understanding why everyone was suddenly behaving so strangely, began to wail, tugging at Kel's breeches. Not having enough arms to comfort and hug all three children at once, Kel backed onto the bed and sat down. She held the children tight, rocking backwards and forth while battling against herself, refusing to let them see her crying.
'Shhh,' she soothed.
Kel didn't know how long they all sat there. Hal and Meah who didn't understand calmed down quite quickly, but Isra was hysterical.
'I want Ma!' she screamed, which set Meah off crying again.
When darkness fell, Kel tucked Hal and Meah into bed, before taking Isra by the hand and leading her along the corridor to Jacqui and Eron's room. Upon entering, she saw Eron still sobbing over his wife's body.
'Da,' whispered Isra.
Eron looked up, his eyes blood-shot and red-rimmed.
'She's gone Kel,' he whispered brokenly, 'She's gone.'
Kel went to comfort Hal, still holding Isra by the hand.
'Ma! Ma!' screamed Isra, spotting the lifeless body of her mother.
With a big effort, Kel picked up the struggling child and held her tightly, rocking her backwards and forth, wiping away a tear of her own angrily.
Meanwhile, Eron wasn't paying any attention to his distraught daughter; he only had eyes for his dead wife. He was shaking all over, mumbling incoherently in Scanran, grasping at Jacqui's hand, as though she might come back if he wished it hard enough.
'Eron,' said Kel, trying to comfort the grief-stricken man.
'Leave me,' he shouted, flailing his arms, hitting Kel's cheekbone and sending her sprawling across the room.
'Daddy,' squealed Isra, untangling herself from Kel. Through her grief, Kel could see utter bewilderment and confusion; why was her father behaving like this?
'Come on,' muttered Kel, scooping up Isra, who was no longer struggling.
She took the girl into the kitchen and retrieved a pail of milk from the larder.
'Right,' said Kel, trying to focus on something other than the pain of losing yet another person who she had grown to love. 'Isra, help me warm some milk for your brother and sister.'
Together they managed to fill four mugs with warm goat's milk and carried them back to the two younger children. Hal and Meah sipped contentedly, whilst Isra and Kel couldn't bring themselves to touch their drinks.
Kel tucked the two youngest children into bed.
'Shhh, try to get some sleep now,' murmured Kel.
'Can you sing to me?' asked Hal in a small voice. 'Ma always sings to me before bed.'
Kel nodded and began to sing, battling against her voice to keep it from breaking with sorrow. She sang a well-known Scancran lullaby, stroking Hal's golden hair gently. Isra sat quietly sniffling in the corner of the room.
Lay down
Your sweet and weary head
Night is falling
You have come to journey's end
Sleep now
And dream of the ones who came before
They are calling
From across a distant shore
Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see
All of your fears will pass away
Safe in my arms
You're only sleeping
What can you see
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home
And all will turn
To silver-glass
A light on the water
All souls pass
Hope fades
Until the world of night
Through shadows falling
Out of memory and time
Don't say
We have come now to the end
White shores are calling
You and I will meet again
And you'll be here in my arms
Just sleeping
What can you see
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home
And all will turn
To silver-glass
A light on the water
Grey ships pass
Into the west
By the time Kel had finished, Hal and Meah were fast asleep, worn out by the levels of high emotion that had been running all day. Kel closed her eyes and offered up a quick prayer to the mother Goddess, praying to guide them all through the next few difficult days.
Kel helped Isra up, and together they returned to the living room so that Isra's continued crying didn't wake up the other two.
'I want my Ma,' whimpered Isra.
'I know you do,' replied Kel, squeezing the young girl's hand. 'But you've got to be brave, be brave for your Ma. She's had to go away,' Kel's voice cracked. 'And she loves you so much, she didn't want to go, but we can't argue with the gods and your Ma was picked to go with the Dark God.'
'But I need her here,' whimpered Isra.
'We all do,' acknowledged Kel. 'But we're going to have to be brave, you and me both.'
'You're already brave,' sniffled Isra, 'you have a sword and fight bad people. That's very brave. I could never be that brave.'
'That's only one type of bravery. More often than not true bravery isn't in a heroic deed. It's continuing on when things get hard…I was once told Courage doesn't always roar, sometimes it's just the quiet voice at the end of the day saying "I'll try again tomorrow." Do you know what that means?'
Isra shook her head.
'It means that tomorrow we'll get up and continue to live our lives even though it hurts and we miss your Ma. It means that we'll look after Hal and Meah tomorrow and in the days that follow because they won't understand. It means that you and I will continue to keep smiling, enjoying life because that's what your Ma would've wanted. Do you think you can do that?'
Isra sniffed and nodded.
'Then you're one of the bravest girls I've ever met,' said Kel truthfully.
'If we have to be brave tomorrow does that mean that I can cry tonight?' asked the young girl plaintively.
'Of course,' said Kel, finally breaking down and letting the tears run down her face as she embraced the small girl.
They cried for hours together, grasping on to each other, trying to stay afloat in the storm of grief that had enveloped both of them. When they had no tears left to cry, they fell asleep on the sofa, curled together.
As the first wintry light dawned over the cottage Kel woke with a start. Isra, who had been sleeping next to Kel also woke up, rubbing her small eyes blearily.
'Shh,' said Kel, 'you stay here.'
'Don't go,' whispered Isra.
'I'll be right back,' called Kel.
She entered Jacqui's room, expecting to find Eron still slumped over his dead wife, but instead she found the room empty. Checking the other rooms, she saw that Hal and Meah were still fast asleep but Eron and Jacqui were nowhere to be found.
Kel returned to Isra and warmed up some milk, which they both hungrily drank since they hadn't had any the previous night.
'Where's Da?' asked Isra. 'He was being strange last night.'
'He's just very upset,' explained Kel, 'which is why we've got to be brave for him.'
'But where is he? Is he still with Ma?'
'No,' said Kel, 'I think he's gone out for a while.' Kel opened the door and peered about at a white world, the fresh snowfall having obliterated everything from the surrounding landscape.
'We're going to have to cope on our own for a bit,' she said practically. 'We can do that can't we?' she asked Isra, who nodded resolutely.
Isra went off to wake her brother and sister, leaving Kel standing in the kitchen with a feeling of intense pride. Isra was being so brave, bearing a burden that no seven-year-old should have to bear.
In the days that followed, Kel muddled through, managing to look after three children and a whole herd of goats. Eron still hadn't returned and Kel had struggled through the snow to ask if anyone had seen him down in the village but no one had. Kel was worried for him, especially in the freezing weather, but she could do nothing to try and find him; she couldn't leave Isra, Hal and Meah to fend for themselves.
On the third night after Jacqui had died, all four of them were huddling in the children's bedroom, Kel telling a story, when Kel heard the front door creak. All of the children froze.
Kel stood up and picked up her sword from where it had been propped against the wall. She unsheathed it, to reveal the shiny blade. She heard the soft tread of footsteps across the flagstone floor. They sounded too delicate to be Eron and adrenalin surged through Kel's body. She threw open the door and stepped out to face the intruder.
'Kel?' asked a voice that Kel would recognise anywhere.
'Alex?'
'By Mithros I didn't recognise you!' he exclaimed, 'you've grown!'
They stood awkwardly; their last meeting hadn't been overly friendly.
'Look Kel, I'm sorry,' began Alex, 'I shouldn't have-'
Kel shook her head, 'It doesn't matter.'
Simultaneously they stepped forward to embrace, both of them squeezing the other tightly.
'I've missed you,' whispered Alex.
'Me too,' Kel replied.
When they parted, Alex looked past Kel to where Isra, Hal and Meah were all peering out of the bedroom to see what was going on.
'Hello you three,' said Alex, 'I don't suppose you remember me.'
'You were the one who bought Kel to us,' said Isra.
Alex nodded. 'Where are your parents?' he asked the children, looking around the dark cottage.
Kel looked away, not able to meet Alex's eyes. 'It's just us here,' she muttered.
Alex changed topics at lightning speed. 'Isra, can you put your sister and brother to bed.'
The girl nodded, her blue eyes switching from Kel to Alex.
'We'll be right in here if you need anything,' Kel assured her.
'Okay,' replied Isra in a small voice.
Kel added a few more logs onto the fire in the sitting room and collapsed onto a sofa, balancing her sword against the fabric-covered arm of the sofa.
'Jacqui died three days ago,' she said abruptly, 'Eron disappeared with her body while we were asleep.'
'By Mithros,' said Alex. 'How're the kids coping?'
'As best as could be hoped,' replied Kel, staring into the flames of the fire, mesmerised.
'How are you doing?' he asked more directly.
Kel shrugged.
'I'm sorry for putting you through this pain again,' said Alex quietly.
'No,' said Kel, 'I'm glad you left me here. I've learnt so much, these people, these farmer folk, surviving out here in the wilderness, they've taught me so much about life…'
'I found the same thing once,' Alex mused. 'Often the best lessons we learn aren't from priests or victorious leaders, but from the ordinary everyday people that we meet on our travels.'
They sat in silence for a while longer, before Kel said;
'How are things in the rest of Scanra?'
'Getting worse,' replied Alex, his expression grim, 'but we're still fighting him every second of the way and we're not going down without a fight.'
'We'll get him one day,' said Kel quietly, with such conviction that Alex looked up. Hazel eyes met hazel once more and both sought comfort from the courage and determination in the other's eyes.
'Kel,' ventured a small voice.
Kel broke eye contact with Alex to see Isra padding across the floor towards her.
'I can't sleep,' she explained in a small voice, climbing onto Kel's lap and hugging her.
Kel soothed the girl, rubbing her back comfortingly. 'You're being so brave,' she murmured into Isra's golden curls. 'So brave…' she whispered, closing her eyes, feeling a single tear spilling down her cheek.
She's not the only one, thought Alex, watching Kel comfort the small girl. Seeing Kel again had given Alex the strength that he so desperately needed. Every time he saw Kel still fighting, still struggling against her burdens he was reminded that he wasn't alone in this mess and it gave him fresh hope for the difficult times that lay ahead.
Just then, the front door swung open, letting in a flurry of fresh snowflakes. Alex leapt to his feet, closely followed by Kel, swords naked in their hands.
A man stumbled into the kitchen, his clothes soaked and hair matted.
'Da!' squealed Isra.
Eron looked up and Kel saw peace in his light blue eyes.
'It's done,' he said quietly. Kel nodded, her throat too tight to speak.
Isra ran to her father and leapt into his arms. Eron hugged her back, rocking her gently, murmuring; 'I'm here baby, I'm here.'
(-a/n- So what did you think of that? I really liked writing this chapter ;D It only took me four hours, which is relatively short! Don't forget to check out the 'Fallen cover' on my profile and please leave a review :D )
Confusedknight xxx