Heartbeats of Desire

A/N: On popular demand, another Marinka chapter :)

Haruka felt a little sick when he entered his bedroom again. He wanted to ask Makoto something and Haruka was a bit afraid of Makoto's reaction. It was clear that Rin was missing a vital emotion in his life and Haruka wanted the redhead to have a taste so that he could perhaps move on. So Haruka kind of wanted Makoto to make love to the redhead, not fuck like usual but be tender and sweet. Of course, Haruka hadn't thought of the fact how that would make him feel but he felt sorry for Rin. It was partly because of his own desire for the redhead that they were in this mess.

When Haruka peeked through the door, he could see the sleeping form of Makoto. The boy looked so peaceful and Haruka's heart thudded loudly in his chest. Could he really ask this of Makoto? What if everything backfired and Makoto's feelings changed? Could it be possible that Haruka would be the one that ends up alone? Haruka felt a bitter taste in his mouth but he was determined, he had loved Rin his entire life in his own strange way. The relationship with the redhead was never easy but they were friends and Haruka was determined to help him discover what it felt like to be loved and cherished.

With small and soft steps, Haruka approached Makoto who was still oblivious to what was about to happen. Haruka sat beside the olive-haired male and with a bit of wiggling, he managed to secure a comfortable spot in between Makoto's arms. The olive-haired male hummed and Haruka knew the boy was awake. When their eyes met, Makoto's sparkled like they've never done before and Haruka felt himself fall and drown a little in that beautiful gaze.

"Hey," Makoto said softly, voice a little raspy from sleeping.

"Hey yourself," Haruka said back, he kept repeating several scenario's in his head, kept jumbling the words he wanted to say but he couldn't find a good way to form his request. How would he react if he were in Makoto's place? Would he give in or would he turn the request down without even blinking?

Makoto could easily sense Haruka's distress and to soothe him, Makoto placed soft kisses on Haruka's warm cheek. Haruka could feel his resolve crumble because did he really want to share Makoto even if it was just this once? Earlier they just had sex and it had been wonderful but now Haruka wanted Makoto to shower Rin with love and affection. Was it wrong if Haruka wanted to keep that part of Makoto to himself? Would he be able to live it down when Makoto showered someone else with love? Haruka gulped loudly and he buried his face in Makoto's shoulder, afraid that it might be the last time that Haruka could be this close to Makoto.

"You can ask or tell me anything, you know that right?" Makoto said and Haruka felt his heart flutter and shrink at the same time. Makoto was always able to read him and it made him feel happy and sad at the same time. What Haruka wanted to ask wasn't just something that would have no consequences.

"I know I just…" Haruka started but he stopped mid-sentence, afraid that his own emotions would catch up to him. He had promised Rin but he was afraid of losing the one boy that managed to worm his way into his heart. Haruka had never imagined that Makoto could get under his skin, making him delirious with want and desire.

"What is it Haru?" Makoto asked, sitting up a bit while still holding Haruka close. Haruka's eyes portrayed a mixture of shame and fear and Makoto furrowed his brows. Why was Haruka feeling this way? Was he that uncomfortable with what happened earlier.

"I want you to make love to…" Haruka stopped talking, worrying at his lip, Rin's name stuttered in his throat, he just couldn't bring himself to say it.

"To you?" Makoto chuckled softly and Haruka wanted to slap him for being so wrong and yet so right at the same time. Of course, Haruka wanted to make love to Makoto, it was all he ever wanted to do but that's not entirely what he meant right now.

"Well,…" Haruka tried again and Makoto gasped a little when it seemed that the olive-haired male had finally put some pieces of the puzzle together.

"You can't be serious, right?" Makoto asked and Haruka cast his gaze down, ashamed of his request.

"I cannot make love to Rin, I've never been able to do so," Makoto huffed and Haruka felt his entire body blush. It was nice to hear that Makoto had only fucked with Rin, no emotion lingering between them whatsoever. On the other hand, it was hard to realise that Makoto had a cold side as well even if that had always seemed impossible to Haruka.

"Can't you try? I think you broke…" Haruka couldn't finish his sentence because he was pushed away by Makoto.

"I didn't break him, don't you dare accuse me of that!" Makoto shouted and Haruka wanted to crawl in a whole and die. This was exactly what Haruka had feared and yet he had pursued this idea because it seemed like the right thing to do.

"I didn't meant to…" Haruka said softly and when he dared to look at Makoto, he could see something in Makoto's eyes that he has never seen before. It was a bit frightening to be honest but Haruka couldn't bring himself to ask what was exactly on Makoto's mind.

"If I'm going to do it, then you'll also be a part of it," Makoto continued and Haruka's heart fluttered a little.

"Okay, just tell me what to do then," Haruka added softly and Makoto pressed his forehead against Haruka's, gently rubbing soothing circles on the skin of Haruka's thighs.

"Just be yourself…"

I will be your guardian if you just hold on to me, don't let me go…

Haruka took a deep breath and he squeezed Rin's hand softly. They were both standing in the hallway. At first, Rin had protested saying that he didn't want to be loved but Haruka managed to convince him because love is something you simply cannot live without. The redhead was still reluctant because he had always loved the rough and fast pace between him and Makoto. He had never experienced it any other way and he wasn't convinced that he could enjoy a soft and gentle pace. However… perhaps it was worth the try?

When Haruka pushed the door open a little, Rin was greeted by a sweet scent of lavender. Several candles lit up the room and it was a stark difference with how the room looked earlier. Rin had never cared that much for a romantic setting but he was surprised with the way his body reacted to the scent. It was sweet and Rin could feel his tense body relax.

However, when his crimson eyes found Makoto's emerald ones, he felt exposed. Makoto wasn't regarding him with his usual predatory gaze, it was different this time and Rin didn't exactly know what to do. Rin nervously fidgeted with the hem of his T-shirt with one hand while his other was still clasped firmly around Haruka's.

Makoto beckoned Rin to come closer but it seemed that the redhead was paralyzed. He was still drowning in those sparkling pools of green and he didn't have the nerve to come closer. What if Makoto was able to spark something inside of him that he had tried so hard to ignore and push away? To Rin, Makoto was special even if he never showed how he truly felt. He was content with whatever Makoto gave him and he pretended to never care about love. In a way, it was the truth but there was a small part of Rin that longed for warmth and that something that people called more.

Haruka tugged at his hand and he led Rin closer to the olive-haired male. Makoto simply sat on the bed, waiting for both boys to come closer. Rin felt oddly misplaced because he had never realised Makoto could look at him that way. Wasn't that look supposed to be reserved for Haruka?

Haruka released Rin's hand and he pushed the redhead towards the bed. Rin sat down next to Makoto but he kept his gaze cast down, admiring Haruka's polished floor rather than looking at the person sitting next to him. Haruka watched the pair from a safe distance, afraid to interfere their moment. Haruka wanted nothing more than to throw his arms around both of them but he kept his distance because he'd get his chance soon enough.

Rin gasped a little when Makoto's strong fingers tilted his chin, urging Rin to look at him. The redhead let his head follow the motion of Makoto's fingers but he kept his eyes closed. He didn't want Makoto to break down his walls, he wanted to protect himself from any form of heartbreak.

"Look at me," Makoto demanded and it was a tone that Rin could live with. It was the usual tone that Makoto used when speaking to Rin. The redhead complied but when he noticed that Makoto's eyes said something he didn't recognise, Rin felt a bit betrayed. Makoto smiled softly and Rin's eyes sparkled without him even wanting it. That smile slowly tore down every wall Rin had ever constructed around himself.

Makoto's face inched closer and Rin could feel his heart beat faster than it had ever done before. There was a strange emotion surging through his body that was highly unfamiliar to him. Rin closed his eyes as Makoto's breath tickled his skin a little and when their lips met, Rin's body burned with a desire he had never felt before. It was mixed with something unknown and Rin decided that he would just give in, even if it was just this once.

Makoto's tongue brushed along Rin's bottom lip and when their tongues met, they didn't fight for dominance. They danced a slow and seductive dance that made Rin's head dizzy. Their tongues curled around each other's at such a slow pace that it made Rin itch with anticipation. He always figured that slow wouldn't do it for him but he might have to disagree after that dizzying kiss.

When their lips parted, Rin's eyes fluttered open and for the first time, he felt comfortable with the way Makoto was looking at him. He felt cherished…

Haruka felt a stab of jealousy run through his body as he watched the way Makoto was looking at Rin. He knew it would be hard but Haruka wasn't going to back down now. Haruka's heart fluttered when Makoto looked at him and without hesitation, Haruka leapt forward, straight into Makoto's arms. They shared a soft and long kiss, exploring each other's mouth with love and care. Makoto entwined his fingers with Rin and when he parted from Haruka, he looked at Rin and Haruka with a sparkling gaze. Haruka bit his lip as he felt his cheeks blush, he wanted to kiss Rin but he didn't know whether it was allowed. Perhaps Rin needed to see two kinds of love before he would finally grasp the idea of what true love is all about. Makoto rubbed his nose against Haruka's cheek and it was the permission the raven-haired male was seeking. Haruka inched closer and it was Rin who pressed his lips against Haruka's taking the raven-haired male a bit by surprise. It was weird not fighting for dominance but Rin melted into the kiss like he had never learned a different way of kissing. When Haruka brushed his tongue against Rin's, Haruka felt a jolt surge through his body, making him gasp a little.

When they parted, there was a strange tension hanging between them and Haruka felt a bit daunted by it. It wasn't like before and Haruka wasn't sure whether he would be able to fully give himself under this tension. However, as soon as Makoto brushed his lips against his cheek, Haruka felt complete and he knew that this would be a life-changing event.

Haruka crawled off of Makoto's lap and he took a seat against the wall, resuming his position of just watching rather than joining in. He would join them eventually but for now, he was pleased to just watch Makoto shower Rin with love.

Makoto didn't command Rin and the redhead tried to remain calm and keep his composure. It was so much easier when Makoto took the lead but it seemed that this time, it was up to Rin. The redhead pressed his palm against Makoto's chest and the olive-haired male let himself be pushed back against the headboard of the bed. His back was propped against soft pillows and Makoto waited for Rin to continue. He wanted Rin to make decisions for once because perhaps that's what the redhead needed.

Rin crawled on top of Makoto and he searched permission in Makoto's eyes.

"You don't need permission, just act and don't think," Makoto spoke softly and Rin's face contorted in confusion for a few seconds. He had always asked for permission because otherwise Makoto wouldn't be content and now he was supposed to act on his feelings? Rin worried at his lip before nodding softly. He took a deep breath and leaned in to brush his nose against Makoto's. The olive-haired male smiled a little when their noses bumped and soon their lips met in a soft kiss, taking their time before deepening the clash of their lips. Their tongues slid softly against each other and Makoto's warm hands travelled under Rin's T-shirt, smoothing his hands over the warm skin that belonged to the redhead. Rin gasped a little at the soft touches and he soon found himself panting against Makoto's neck when the olive-haired male continued to roam his hands over Rin's torso and strong back.

The redhead shrugged out of his T-shirt and Makoto's eyes darted over Rin's beautifully sculptured body. It was a body that Makoto had worshipped many times before and he knew every bit of skin that would drive Rin up the wall when it was touched. Rin leaned in for another kiss and Makoto pushed his hips up a little, making the redhead moan softly.

Haruka worried at his lip and he couldn't contain himself anymore. He crawled up behind Rin and started peppering Rin's back with soft and teasing kisses. Rin produced another low moan and Haruka continued kissing that perfectly sculptured back while Makoto continued toying with Rin's tongue. The kisses never turned into rough ones so Rin kept falling and falling, trying to get used to the strange sensation that coursed through his body.

"I-I c-can't," Rin panted and Makoto's eyes said so many things that Rin felt like he was being suffocated. The softness and tenderness was gripping at Rin's heart and the redhead couldn't help but whimper when Makoto pushed his hips up again, their clothed erections brushing against each other.

What I need is somebody who cares… So Baby if you want me, you've got to show me love…

Makoto's hands scratched softly at Rin's rock-hard abs before he let his hands rest on the edge of Rin's shorts. Slowly and very carefully, Makoto let his hands slip below the waistband of Rin's shorts and the redhead gasped when Makoto palmed his erection through the silky material of his boxers. Haruka licked his lips before he stripped Rin of any clothing he still had on him. Rin didn't even have the time to feel exposed since he was the only one naked at the moment. Makoto's thumb teased the head of Rin's length and the redhead slumped against the olive-haired male, letting pleasure wreck his entire body. The ministrations that Makoto put him through were never rough, always gentle and tender and Rin finally realised that this was something he could get used to.

Haruka reached for the bottle of lube in the chest of drawers next to the bed. He carefully slicked his fingers and he let his hand wander to Rin's behind, gently teasing Rin's entrance with one single digit. Rin whimpered and pushed back a little, clearly wanting Haruka to continue. The raven-haired male slipped a finger into the redhead and Rin moaned loud against Makoto's neck. Makoto coaxed a slightly rougher kiss out of Rin but he still kept the pace slow and steady, never failing to break down Rin's walls with his softness and gentleness.

Haruka continued to prepare the redhead and Haruka couldn't help but wonder what it would look like when Makoto actually made love to the redhead. The kissing and touching were bearable but Haruka wondered whether he would be able to take it if Makoto actually slipped inside of Rin. When Haruka's confused gaze met Makoto's reassuring one, Haruka couldn't help but feel blessed that he had Makoto by his side. Haruka nodded softly and sat next to Makoto. He glanced at Rin and the redhead inched closer to Haruka to coax a kiss out of him. Haruka threw his arms around Rin's neck while they slowly made out. A soft moan escaped from Makoto's lips as he continued watching Haruka's tongue curl around Rin's. The sight was highly arousing even if Makoto didn't really like to share Haruka.

Haruka moaned loudly into Rin's mouth when the redhead palmed his length through his boxers. Haruka panted against Rin's shoulder as the redhead continued toying around with Haruka's erection until a wet spot had formed on his boxers. Haruka sat back against the headboard, next to Makoto, waiting anxiously for the moment when Makoto would slip into Rin.

Can you believe it as we're sitting on this bed? You are the best thing that has ever been mine…

Rin had his forehead pressed against Makoto's, noses slightly gliding against each other, eyes locked like there was no tomorrow. Haruka could feel the love lingering between them and it was frightening and arousing at the same time. He dared not to touch himself, he didn't even dare to make another move, afraid to break the spell between Makoto and Rin.

Makoto took hold of himself and Rin carefully sat down, letting Makoto fill him completely. The decent was so slow it was maddening but Rin had never felt better before. They stayed still for a few fleeting moments before Rin started moving, lifting himself and then pushing himself down again. It didn't take long before their panting filled up the otherwise silent room. Haruka was mesmerized by the way Makoto and Rin were looking at each other. They had both missed that when they were dating and Haruka marvelled at how beautiful they both looked. Rin's arms were loosely draped around Makoto's shoulders and the olive-haired male never let his smile waver from his lips. They continued their slow pace for a few minutes and Rin felt his entire body radiate a kind of heat he had never felt before.

Haruka caught one of Rin's low moans with his mouth and suddenly, Makoto lifted Rin up making the redhead growl at the loss of being filled. Makoto regarded Haruka with a mixture of want and lust and for once, Haruka knew what Makoto had been hinting at. Haruka turned Rin around and before the redhead grasped what had happened, he sat back on Makoto, his back pressed against Makoto's torso. Haruka eyed Rin's length with so much desire that Rin almost felt like exploding when his gaze caught Haruka's. The raven-haired male let his tongue toy with the slit of Rin's erection and the redhead couldn't supress the wanton noises he produced. Haruka took Rin into his mouth and laved his tongue expertly against every sensitive spot on Rin's cock. The redhead gasped at the blazing sensation in his body and he let his head fall back against Makoto's strong shoulder.

"You're beautiful," Makoto whispered and at first, Rin couldn't believe that could've been directed at him but when Makoto placed his palm over his heart, the redhead blushed furiously.

Rin neared his peak sooner than he wanted, spilling himself in Haruka's warm mouth. The clenching of Rin's muscles were too much for Makoto and with a few more thrusts, Makoto lost himself in the redhead. Rin's entire body shivered and shook as he tried to catch his breath. No matter how trained his lung capacity was, he wasn't able to control his breathing when Haruka and Makoto drove him up the wall.

Haruka tilted his head as he looked at the two boys, Rin being held by Makoto's strong arms as they tried to regain their composure. Haruka felt his own length straining painfully against his boxers and when he was being pushed back by Rin, it took all of two minutes of Rin's expertly trained tongue to make Haruka see stars. Haruka came loudly down Rin's throat and it was his time to try and catch his breath.

Makoto snaked his hands around Rin again, pressing Rin's back against his torso. When Haruka finally caught his breath, he leaned back against Rin, letting himself be held by the redhead. It was weird having Rin between him and Makoto but just this once, it was okay.

They were okay.

Catch my heart before it shatters and make me live again.

If you think baby after so long, that I'm over you, baby you're so wrong coz every time I kiss, I still kiss you…

A/N: I actually don't have a lot to say right now… other than that I'm actually quite proud of this chapter :) I do hope you enjoyed their love-making. I had a lot of fun writing it so I do hope you've enjoyed reading this.

Thank you all so much for helping me decide, I loved the reviews!

Lots of love!