Remedy

Haruka lay awake in his hospital bed. He couldn't fall asleep and it seemed that the drugs they'd given him earlier on had lost their effect. Whenever Haruka closed his eyes, his mind would flash images of screaming people. He could handle those but then flashes of sad and hurt emerald eyes would haunt him and it made Haruka want to scream each and every time. The guilt gripped fiercely at Haruka's heart and the boy felt sick thinking about what happened. He had convinced Rin to feel less guilty but Haruka couldn't convince himself. He could not let go of his own guilt. He hadn't been allowed to visit Makoto just yet and it had almost killed him. Haruka had screamed and shouted and Rin had kept him down, saying that they would get to see him soon enough. The doctors had given them both a logical explanation as to why they couldn't see Makoto just yet but Haruka didn't listen.

How could he listen to crap that he didn't want to hear? All he wanted was to hear Makoto's soft voice, perhaps that would be the medicine he needed to heal his own wound, the gaping hole that burned in his heart. Haruka had never had to go long without seeing Makoto and it seemed like forever since he last saw him. At least, Rin was able to see him as they loaded him into the ambulance. Haruka was sick with worry, what if Makoto didn't look the same anymore? How would his burns look?

Haruka tilted his head and he saw the sleeping form of Rin. The nurses had shoved two beds against each other and Rin had fallen asleep almost instantly. Haruka watched over him and he was glad Rin was next to him. It gave him a strange sense of comfort to have the redhead this close. Rin had done a lot for him since the fire and Haruka was grateful for Rin's strength and support. Haruka turned his head again and he threaded his fingers through Rin's, holding Rin's hand tightly in his own. While gazing through the window, Haruka's eyes began to slowly droop and he fell asleep.

Rin ran around helplessly, the fire burning brightly and destroying everything in its path. The smoke was thick and pitch-black, engulfing everything on its path. Everywhere Rin looked, there was nothing but smoke and flames of intense burning heat. His feet acted on their own, running down the burning hallways, looking for someone who he cared for. No, he didn't just care for him, he loved him. He yearned to gaze into those pools of emerald and he regretted the second he had let go. Was it really worth it? What if he never saw him again? Rin kept running and running, his lungs felt like they were on fire and he coughed and wheezed, ready to pass out any minute now. Rin stopped as he saw what he was looking for. Makoto was standing there and he looked okay. Rin smiled and waved but Makoto didn't wave back, he just kept staring ahead, staring straight through Rin.

"Makoto!"

Rin ran faster and faster until a beam of the ceiling fell down. His path was blocked and the flames were hotter than ever, making him break out into a sweat.

"Makoto!"

The boy didn't move and there was no way Rin could get to him. Makoto was trapped. The flames spread rapidly and Rin had to shield his eyes from the intense light.

"Makoto!" he shouted again and a small sound echoed through the burning hallway.

"I love you,"

"No!" Rin shouted as the place where Makoto stood was nothing more than burning hot flames.

"No Makoto!" Rin shouted and he shot up straight in his bed, chest heaving with his uneven breathing and his entire body was sweating. Rin looked around the dark room and he could feel Haruka squeeze his hand.

"Bad dream?" Haruka asked softly, voice raspy from sleeping.

"Yeah," Rin muttered, feeling so stupid for dreaming something like that. Makoto was just fine, well he wasn't really fine but he was still here, a few rooms further down the hallway.

Rin tried to control his breathing and Haruka sat up as well, brushing Rin's damp bangs out of his eyes.

"Anything I can do for you?" Haruka asked softly and Rin shook his head.

"No, the fact that you are here is more than enough," Rin replied and Haruka smiled a little.

"I miss Makoto," Haruka whispered and Rin pulled Haruka close. Haruka rested his head against Rin's chest and he didn't care that Rin's hospital gown was sweaty.

"I miss him too…"

Rin smiled as Haruka scowled at his breakfast. The nurses had been ecstatic that both boys seemed to have worked up an appetite, except, Haruka wasn't exactly thrilled about his breakfast. He yearned for a delicious piece of fish but the nurses just glared at him like he had grown an extra head.

"I'm not hungry anymore," Haruka pushed the dish away and turned his head so he could gaze outside like a petulant little child.

"Oh come on Haru, I can hear your stomach grumbling loudly!" Rin scoffed as he popped a piece of bread into his mouth. Haruka refused to even look at the food again and Rin just ate his in silence, glancing at the pouting Haruka once in a while.

The friendly nurse came back in and huffed when she saw that Haruka hadn't even touched his food.

"If you eat your breakfast you can go see your friend," The nurse said softly and Haruka turned to look at her.

"Really?" he asked, that had easily been the best news of the entire day and Haruka needed to make sure that she wasn't just trying to trick him.

"I'm serious, eat your breakfast and then I'll take you to your friend," the nurse replied softly before she left the room again. Without further hesitation, Haruka ate everything on his plate and Rin tried to get him to slow down.

"Slow down! You're going to choke yourself!" Rin shouted and he waved his arms wildly but Haruka just kept shoving food into his mouth. If he was done eating he could go see…Makoto. His Makoto, his one and only love, the one he wanted to be with, the one he wanted to hold, kiss, cherish and love…

With small steps, Haruka and Rin stepped into Makoto's room. They both had to be disinfected and they needed to wear special gowns and gloves but none of that mattered. Haruka could finally sit next to Makoto and realise that he was still here. He was still the same boy that he had fallen in love with.

Haruka shuffled closer and took a seat next to the bed. Makoto had a breathing tube in his mouth and his hands and shoulders were bandaged. Haruka shivered when he looked at his boyfriend because he wished that Makoto didn't have to suffer like this. He would have gladly taken Makoto's place and Haruka could only hope that when Makoto woke up, he wouldn't be in too much pain. He knew he was probably drugged to relieve the pain but still, Haruka was worried. Haruka glanced up at Rin who had taken a seat on the other side of the bed. Both boys seemed to be afraid to touch Makoto, to inflict any kind of pain. It hurt Haruka to see Makoto like this but on the other hand it was a remedy for Haruka. It healed him because he could see Makoto with his own eyes. He could hear the machine beeping, indicating that Makoto's heart was beating steadily. It was all Haruka needed.

With shaking hands, Haruka caressed Makoto's arm, brushing the tips of his gloved fingers over Makoto's exposed skin. Haruka felt warm from just touching Makoto, loving the fact that he was still able to touch the boy. Haruka stood up and pressed a soft kiss on Makoto's cheek just before resting his forehead against Makoto's.

"Please wake up soon," Haruka whispered, closing his eyes and just feeling Makoto's skin against his own, fuelling the love in his aching heart.

Right after their visit to Makoto, Rin had become ill and he had burned up with an intense fever. Haruka wasn't allowed to go near Rin anymore because the doctors didn't want him to get infected as well. Haruka was led to his own room and the doctors told him he had to stay one more night before he was allowed to go home. He still suffered from intense coughing fits and the doctors didn't want to risk anything. Haruka felt so alone in his room now that Rin was placed in the room next to his own. Haruka wasn't used to being alone and he hated the feeling. When his parents had moved away, he hadn't minded being alone but now… he desperately yearned for either Makoto or Rin.

A soft knock on the door startled Haruka and he looked up to see a smiling doctor.

"We've removed the breathing tube from Makoto and we believe that he might wake up soon, do you want to be with him when he wakes up?" the doctor asked and Haruka's face lit up like a Christmas tree. Haruka nodded and the doctor took him to Makoto's room. Haruka felt bad for Rin since the redhead couldn't be there when Makoto woke up. Haruka wished they could just all be together again without misery trying to tear them apart.

Haruka took his seat next to Makoto's bed again and he started caressing Makoto's arm.

"You know, I miss you so much. I miss your smile, your laugh, your sparkling eyes, the mischievous glint in your eyes when you want something…" Haruka murmured. It was weird talking to someone who might not hear you but it felt liberating to Haruka to talk about his feelings so openly.

"Rin had a nightmare, he feels guilty for letting go but I told him it's not his fault. It's mine… please just wake up Makoto, I need to hear your voice." Haruka's whisper was soft. Haruka gazed at Makoto's face and gently brushed his fingertips against Makoto's cheek.

Slowly and very gently, one eye cracked open and a gasp escaped from Haruka's lips. Another eye opened and soon, Haruka felt himself trip hard, harder than ever before. He tripped and then fell in love hard and roughly, scraping and burning when he crashed.

Makoto closed his eyes again but Haruka didn't care. He had seen those beautiful pools of emerald and it was enough for now. Enough to realise just how much he loved Makoto, enough to realise that Rin somehow became a part of them, enough to realise that his was just what he needed…

Our love may seem insane but to me, it's crystal clear. You are a piece of me that I desperately need, don't ever leave me again. You're my remedy.