Hi and hello! Welcome to my last post of 2013, Chapter 17 of Inconceivable! This week, we'll witness a somewhat-important exchange between Ash and May, and see how many doors it opens in the process. Curtain up, sit back, be entertained!

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon; Nintendo and Satoshi Tajiri do.

INCONCEIVABLE

CHAPTER 17-SECOND THOUGHTS

Ash knew from May's tone of voice that something wasn't quite right. She was tense and shaking, and her face was pale. He had a sinking feeling that the coming exchange was going to be uncomfortable, but he resolved to get through it as best he could.

"Uh, are you okay, May? You look terrible." May nodded, even though she knew he was right.

"I'm fine, Ash, just a little on edge. I'll be okay."

"Alright," Ash hated seeing her like this, it wasn't the May he knew. "So what do you want to talk about?" he asked, moving the armchair so he could sit across from her.

"A few things, actually." May answered, looking down. "First off, I'm gonna go see a doctor in the next few days. I talked to Sandra, and she's going to go with me. She was surprised I hadn't done it sooner."

"That's...good." She hadn't mentioned going to a doctor since their little shopping excursion, but it had sounded important at the time. "I'm probably useless in that regard, so it's good to have somebody who knows what they're doing go with you. Anything else?"

"Well, the next two things are sort of connected."

"How so?" May took a deep breath, then started again.

"The first part is that I'm starting to wonder if we did the right thing by running."

"Didn't we?"

"That's just it, I don't know. I was so scared when I first found out I was pregnant, I was willing to do almost anything. But living out here now for nearly five months, on top of talking to Sandra, I've had a lot of things to think about."

"Are you saying we didn't do the right thing?"

"I don't know!" May's voice rose a bit, and Ash backed down. May paused to calm down a little, then continued. "The primary catalyst for us running was fear that our families would find out, my dad in particular. You know how he is about this sort of thing, and I was really afraid of how he was going to react. But now..." Ash decided he was going to bring the subject off her father, since she was getting so stressed out.

"Doesn't your mom know? You said that was important to you as well. At least she's probably not as worried about you anymore."

"Yes, that's true, but she...she won't even get to see her first grandchild for a while if we stay out here. That's going to weigh on her mind; it's sure making me a bit depressed."

"So what are you suggesting? That we go back?"

"No, that's not what I meant. I'm just saying that I'm starting to have second thoughts about things. I know it's a bit late, but it is bothering me quite a bit." Ash wasn't sure what to say to this. He'd never doubted that running had been the best course of action; he knew that Norman wouldn't be very happy when he found out about them, and he had acted to try and spare May from her father's displeasure. But now, hearing May voice her concerns, he felt the seed of doubt take root in his mind as well.

"Okay, I see what you mean."

"And the connection is that...with that doubt, I'm starting to have doubts about our relationship."

"What?"

"Just the depth of it, is all. I know...that you love me, enough to stay with me and do all that you've done for us. I'm just starting to wonder...is my love for you...the same?"

"How do you mean?" Ash was now stunned; had this been brewing the whole time?

"What I mean is that we ran because we were scared, and we hadn't been a couple for long when this whole thing started. From everything you've said and done, you've loved me for a longer time than I was aware. All that time spent apart...and one night changed everything for us."

"Yeah, it did."

"But now that I've had time to think about it, I'm beginning to question just about everything. I know you love me more than anything, but I just don't know if I feel the same intensity anymore." Seeing Ash's downcast expression, she hurriedly tried to reassure him. "Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not suggesting we shouldn't stay together. I'm just unsure about all this."

"I understand what you're saying. It hasn't been easy for you, has it?"

"No, it hasn't. Having a baby on the way is hard enough, but add the stress of running away and you can see how difficult it's become."

"Yeah." Ash sighed, wondering how long May had been keeping this under wraps. All this time, he'd been going about things as if he and May had something perfect going. To hear the doubt, pain and fear in her words made him wonder why she hadn't told him before. He'd never really been one for this kind of emotional conversation, but he empathized heavily with her.

"Ash?" May said, her voice still low.

"Hm?" Ash shifted in his chair, his eyes never leaving the young woman across from him.

"I'm sorry I dumped all this on you at once, since it must be a lot to take. I probably should have said something earlier, during the time you had off. But I was so happy we were together, I never..."

"May, it's alright. Everything's going to be alright. Honestly, I didn't give much thought to the fact that we ran, since I thought we'd done the right thing from the start. I never even considered that you might have doubts about this."

"You've been busy, I understand that. You've been working so hard to make sure we can support the baby, and everything you've done you've done out of love. I'm not saying we should go back or separate, but the thought has come up a few times."

"I don't blame you. And I appreciate you telling me this, May. I'm not great at this sort of thing, which is why I'm grateful to Sandra and her daughters for being there for you. But it's important that we don't drop out of contact with each other, and you did the right thing here. Let me know if you want to talk about anything else; I'll even take off work..."

"Don't do that," May said, frowning. "You can't afford to take off now. Maybe when the building project's over, we'll think of something. But don't even think about taking off work, however tempted you are to do it."

"Okay, no skiving off work." Ash looked at the time, then to the corner where Pikachu and Glaceon were sleeping side-by-side. "It's nearly seven, what should we do now?"

"I'm actually going to go to bed," May answered, pushing herself up so she could get off the couch. "This little passenger of mine is taking a lot out of me."

"Alright. I'll probably sleep out here tonight, though."

"Why?"

"You'll have the bed to yourself that way."

"What are you implying?" May asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing!" Ash held his hands up, realizing his error. "I just thought..." May laughed at this, knowing she'd just frightened him to death.

"Ash, it's fine. I do appreciate it, even though it's not exactly necessary. Just make sure you get up tomorrow, that couch would make anyone fall asleep and stay there." May stood up and started toward the bedroom, and Ash jumped up and moved beside her. "What are you...?" Ash said nothing, just wrapped his arms around her. May smiled and turned so he could properly embrace her, resting her head on his shoulder. They stayed that way for a few moments before May jerked back, holding her stomach.

"May, are you alright?" May nodded,

"I'm fine, I just got kicked, is all."

"Does the baby do that often?"

"All the time. Usually it's not too bad, but it's painful enough sometimes."

"At least they're active in there. I'd hate it if..."

"Don't even think about finishing that sentence." Ash stopped mid-word, and nodded with a grin on his face.

"Fair enough." May smiled and turned to go get some rest, while Ash sat down to ponder what they'd just discussed.

May's words rang in Ash's mind the entire next day at work, even though he tried to concentrate on the task at hand. To their credit, Buizel and Heracross dutifully continued their work with calm efficiency, determined to do the best job they could; no wonder, Ash thought, since he hadn't confided his thoughts in the hardworking pair. But Ash, try as he might, couldn't shake the uncertainty and doubt that had crept into his psyche. The prospect of their flight being misguided had never occurred to him before, and now that May had planted that particular idea in his head he couldn't get it out no matter how hard he tried.

They'd come so far since they first found out May was pregnant. He had reacted to her fear in what, at the time, he'd thought was a logical manner, deciding to escape the source of that fear by running. Now that fear had transferred to other aspects of her life, namely their relationship and the uncertainty surrounding their running. It was something he'd never thought possible, and it bothered him to see her like that.

It seemed like forever since they'd started the run, but in reality, it hadn't been that long since they'd made that fateful decision. No, he thought as he walked back to the apartment that evening, I made the decision, May just sort of went with it. Was it true, though? Had they acted too hastily, not stopping to think of the consequences?

Of course not, the other side of his mind put in. You had nothing but time to think about it. But the time to think about it had passed, and been spent getting out of Kanto and finding a way to hide out.

'True, but you could have come clean any time you wanted,' his mind argued back. 'It would've been so easy to just call someone up and admit your mistakes. You could deal with the consequences once you got home and explained yourself.'

'Norman would kill us, or at least me...wouldn't he? May even said it, he wouldn't be too accomodating about this whole thing.'

'You don't know that. Maybe he'd be willing to relax his standards for a good friend. After all, you took it upon yourself to mentor his daughter, who wasn't too enthusiastic about the concept of Pokémon training in the first place...'

"Argh!" Ash groaned as he reached the door to the apartment. "Alright, that's it, forget the psychobabble, I need to stop thinking about this for a while! If May brings it up, fine, but no more of this by myself. I'm gonna go crazy if this keeps going." With that, he shook his head to clear it before entering the apartment and starting the evening routine.

Uh-oh, looks like Ash is starting to feel the pressure too. Can he keep a cool head through all this, or will he crack under the strain? The answers will be revealed as we continue.

This chapter was tough to write, and I hope I didn't go overboard with their conversation. It was half-obvious in the last chapter, but I didn't want to be too overt in their intentions. (Now I just realized that I'm gonna have to write another extra chapter to accommodate new events and set up the next transition, but hey, life as a writer). Also, for those hoping to see the new baby, it's gonna be a while yet. The waiting's just the hardest part, am I right?

Alright, standard operating procedure is in effect. Please read, REVIEW and tell me how it went! Have a happy and safe New Year, and until next time, namárië!