Disclaimer: All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just playing in her sandbox.
Chapter 13 Meadow
BPOV
"Bella, did you ever think of moving on after I left, of finding comfort with someone else I mean . . . Jacob?"
My breathing stopped cold. I guess I had not expected this question, but I had to be honest.
"Jacob wanted that. He told me he loved me . . . and I did love him, Edward, in some ways. I suppose I would have tried to be with him in time, but he would never have had my heart. Only you have that please believe me!", she said as she looked up to stare at my eyes. "He only ever kissed me on the cheek, Edward, I was never with him like that even though we shared a bed in the studio apartment Dale let us use!"
I guess I had never mentioned that I shared a bed with Jacob. We had never discussed it till today and his reaction to that seemed stronger than to any of the other things I had told him.
"Bella, you shared a bed with Jacob? The whole time you were gone with him you and he slept together for, let's see, that would have been three months, Bella!"
His eyes went immediately to the darkest black I had ever seen and everything about him tensed. The features of his face even seemed to change. He rose and paced several feet away to the edge of the trees and I followed him wanting to comfort him and reassure him that nothing had ever happened between Jacob and me.
"Edward, nothing ever happened, I promise you. I know how it sounds, but Jacob is just a friend, my best friend. I promise you I never even kissed him! It has always been only you!"
He turned to me, his face unreadable.
"You Are Mine! Do you understand? Mine!"
I reached to stroke his cheek and he grabbed me, pulling me to him and kissing me . . . hard. He lifted me and pinned me against a tree, my legs grasping around his waist. He pressed me into the tree, his hand fisting in my hair and pulling my head back to expose my neck to him. He shredded my shirt, grabbing my backside - squeezing almost painfully as he continued to kiss me.
"Yours Edward, I have only ever been yours!", I told him as I starred into his eyes, "I love you Edward. I am your wife and I love only you, it has only ever been you!"
He was starting to alarm me with the way he was acting. He grabbed my jeans and tore a portion of them away, exposing me. His icy fingers were on me, his lips never leaving my skin. He unzipped his jeans and I felt him enter me.
"You are mine, do you understand, only mine!"
Edward roared like a wild beast as he stilled almost immediately. He was instantly ready again and barely missed a stroke as he continued again and again . . . there was apparently an animistic side to vampirism when it came to claiming your mate, and I loved it.
I knew he would not hurt me . . .
I knew he needed this. I needed this.
He moved in me with such power that my entire body moved up and down against the tree at my back, he never faltered his rhythm, never calmed down at all. He continued the delicious assault for minutes or hours, I didn't care. All I could feel was him moving me up and down, pinning me against the tree with his body. I don't know how many times he repeated himself, I lost count. His mouth devoured mine and I knew my hips would be bruised from his grip. I didn't care. I loved this man beyond all reason and we needed this. He never took notice as his phone rang and rang in his pocket.
His mouth moved to my neck and I tucked my lips to his ear to tell him that I loved him, that I was so happy to be his wife, that I wanted him more than anything, that I needed him, and that there had only ever been him. He needed to know. I told him that in spite of sharing a bed with Jacob, there had only ever been him. He moved his face to stare at me, his breathing ragged and I told him again,
"There has only ever been you, Edward! I love you, only you and I am completely yours. I only want you. I love you and you are everything I ever want!"
He stilled against me, trembling. I ran my fingers through his hair as I kept telling him that I loved him.
He walked us back to the blanket and sat down with my legs still gripping his waist both arms around me. He released his arms from around me and abruptly moved his hands to my shoulders, pulling away to look into my eyes. A look of complete terror contorted his face.
"Bella, you're bleeding!", he told me as he moved to pull us apart, expecting the worst. There was no blood coming from me. He quickly looked back up at me, pain apparent on his features.
"Edward I'm fine! You didn't hurt me. I adore you and I needed this as much as you did! Why do you think you hurt me, sweetheart?
"Bella, I can smell blood."
He brought his hands from around me and they were covered in a light film of blood. I was in no pain, but I could guess what had happened. My bare back had been rubbed up and down against the rough bark of the tree so many times that it had broken the skin.
"Probably the bark on that tree, sweetheart, I'm sure it's nothing!"
He looked over my shoulder and examined my back. Sure enough, that was apparently what had happened. There were a few scratches that were bleeding and some areas where a layer or two of skin had been rubbed away, leaving my back raw and oozy in places.
"I'm so sorry! You know I didn't mean to hurt you, I guess I just didn't think about you moving against the tree without a shirt to protect you! Can you feel the scratches, baby, does it hurt you at all?"
His face was anguished, a look of horror in his eyes at the thought that he had hurt me.
"Edward, if there is anything bleeding, I'm sure it is only a scratch. I really wasn't paying attention to my back!"
His eyes were black and he was still trembling, but he wasn't holding his breath like he had done at my birthday party last year, when I had gotten the paper cut on my finger and Jasper had attacked over just that drop of blood that was spilled. I had to ask.
"Edward, I pulled away from him to cup his face in my hands, as I sat on his lap, how is it that my blood doesn't seem to affect you anymore? You were the first one to me at the accident, weren't you? I remember being told that you applied the tourniquets and stopped the bleeding! Edward, it was you that did the CPR as well, wasn't it? How did you do it? I thought I was your singer and that it wouldn't be possible for you to do something like that!"
He starred down at his hands, then put them back around me, gently pulling the blanket up to cover my back. He looked up to meet my gaze and finally, so softly he said,
"I got over it."
I starred at him for a long minute, incredulous, "You got over it?"
"Yes. Bella, I found out what it was like to live without you, I experienced it for over 8 months. I would shy away from anything that might cause me that type of pain ever again so yes love, I got over it! It doesn't mean my throat doesn't burn when I'm near you or that my natural urge isn't there, it's just that I could never do anything that would lead to the type of agony that being without you causes . . . so yes, I got over it!"
I took his face in my hands and kissed him. It was all I could think of to comfort him - it was all I wanted to do, anyway. I could spend days just kissing this man!
EPOV
I stood and fastened the button on my jeans. I was somewhat mortified by my behavior, I don't know what had gotten into me. I just had to make her understand that she was MINE, only MINE! The thought of someone else, well, I just couldn't go there!
I gently wrapped the blanket around her naked chest and back and headed for the car. It took only minutes as usual. As we headed back to Forks, we both realized that she could not walk into Charlies in torn jeans and no shirt!
"Hum, I don't think we should try sneaking in at your Dad's the way you are dressed, love"
"You mean the way I'm NOT dressed don't you?', she snickered.
I couldn't help but laugh at her. She amazed me at every turn. This little human girl was fearless when it came to me! I had basically just ravished her in the woods against a tree, staking claim to her in an almost caveman like way and here she sat laughing and making jokes with me. She was always so fearless, even when I gave her cause to be afraid!
My phone rang again, and it was Alice.
"I told you to remember that she was human, Edward!", she spat at me.
"Hi Alice, and what are you talking about?"
"When I told you that going to the meadow was a great idea and I saw a wonderful outcome, remember me showing you? I told you to remember that she was HUMAN! Her bare back against a tree while you went all neanderthal on her, really Edward, couldn't you have put your shirt behind her or something! She's my best friend and you need to be more careful with her! Remember that she still has clothes at our old house, so do you brother, that's why I packed so few for you both! Bye now!"
It was truly embarrassing sometimes just how many intimate things that Alice saw! She was right, I should think before I act and remember how frail her human body was.
"Let's go to my house. The clothes you had there last year before we left are still there and we can shower you off so that I can tend to your back. I'm sure the first aid kid that I used to keep for you is there as well", I told her.
We pulled into the drive, and things looked pretty much as they had when I had left there last year. I picked Bella up from the seat of the car and headed up the stairs to the front door and punched in the code to unlock it. Esme had taken almost nothing from the house, and it looked almost as though we were still living there. I carried Bella up the stairs to my room and set her on the couch.
She got to her feet and looked around, finding the clothes she had always had there left where she had put them. There were always lots of clothes, thanks to Alice.
Bella turned to face me. "Why is everything still here?", she asked. "Why didn't you move anything with you when your family moved?"
I walked over to my bare chested wife and put my hands on her shoulders, starring into her eyes, "I couldn't bear to have anything around that reminded me of you. They left everything. I left everything here, other than my journals and music. Esme decided to give me the clean break that I thought I was giving you."
"Edward, everything? You even left your piano?"
"Yes, it all stayed here. Bella, I didn't touch a piano from that day in the woods till you were home with me recovering in Highlands, I couldn't bear it. That's why I ended up leaving my family and going off alone, I couldn't bear to see happy couples around me. It wasn't fair to them not to be able to act normal around each other, but if they so much as hugged, I would fall apart, feeling your loss." I hugged her to me, "But you're here now, and we will always be together! Come, we need to take care of your back! Shower time, woman!"
She took what was left of her clothes off as did I and we headed into my bathroom. I gently soaped her body and washed the traces of bark and dried blood away, kissing each and every mark I had caused. The water was warm and the supply seemed never ending. We stood under its warmth and hugged for a long time, just holding each other and tracing nonsensical circles on her skin and feeling her silky hair while she did the same.
"I love you, you know. I'm so sorry about hurting you", I said as I my lips kissed the soft corner of her mouth.
"Enough, baby, you've said that enough. I know you never intended for me to get hurt and it's nothing more than a scraped knee or a skinned elbow, is it?"
"We'll, no, I guess not. It's kind of like that, it's just that I caused it!", I said starring at the floor.
"Why is it that you get to take credit or fault for everything that WE do? I don't understand why you do that!", she was starting to sound angry, working herself up to being really mad.
"Did you hear me say no Edward?"
"No . . . "
"Did you hear me tell you to stop?"
"No . . . you didn't tell me to stop, but . . . "
"But nothing! I'm tired of this. I am over 18 and capable of making my own decisions. If I didn't want to do something, I would tell you. You are not the only one in this relationship Edward Cullen and you had better get used to that!"
I started to speak but she continued.
"Just because I go along with most of your decisions and you have very sweetly taken care of me and babied me while I was recovering does not mean that you get to have all the credit or blame for the things that WE do! If I disagreed with you about any of the choices you have made since you came back, I would tell you! You may be older than I am and more experienced but I guarantee you that if I disagreed with something you wanted to do, you would know about it!"
She cut the shower off and walked out of the shower towards my room, grabbing her towel on the way. I was dumbstruck, floored, really. I was a 110 year old, 180 pound immortal with limitless power and I was being told off and put in my place by a nineteen year old hundred and ten pound human girl. She owned me.
I brushed the water off of me and ran the towel over my hair before I followed her into my room.
She had a shirt and underwear on already and was bending to put her leg in jeans as I walked over to her and put my hands on her waist. She paid no attention to me, clearly angry, and continued sliding her jeans up her legs and buttoning them.
I turned her by her shoulders to face me, her eyes glaring, and said, "I'm sorry."
She walked to the dresser and started brushing her hair. I walked up behind her and put my arms around her, nuzzling her neck like I knew she liked.
"I really am sorry."
She looked at me through the reflection in the mirror and turned to face me, putting her hands on my bare chest.
"Edward, we are partners, decisions have to be made equally and . . ."
I cut her off. I kissed her with all the feeling I had and all the force I dared.
"You can't just . . .
I kissed her again.
"I mean it . . .
. . . and again.
"You're exasperating when you . . .
. . . and again.
"Edward!", she said, then she kissed me! She walked towards me, inching me backwards as she explained to me in no uncertain terms that she was fully capable of making up her own mind and deciding what she would and would not do. I hoped Alice didn't see this, I would never hear the end of it if she saw a fully dressed sliver of a girl pointing her finger into my chest and making me backup to the point that I abruptly ended up sitting on my black sofa, still completely naked from the shower!
She stood with her hands on her hips for a long minute, eying me as I sat naked before her, totally floored by her actions. She dropped to her knees and put her arms around my neck, kissing my cheeks, my lip, my neck . . . murmuring how much she loved me. she kissed me . . . there. I finished instantly, like a 17 year old kid, except that the 110 year old vampire tore the sofa to shreds. Dear God, how did I ever live without this woman!
"Sweetheart! Come on, lets get you dressed and clean up this mess! I hope the sofa wasn't too important to you, I'm afraid you've completely destroyed it!"
I walked to my closet to dress. Not only did she own me, but she knew it!
I grabbed the first aid kit and we sat on the sofa in the living room with her shirt pulled up as I put antiseptic and antibiotic cream on the scratches on her back. She was right, it was both our faults, but it just seemed so damned stupid of me not to think of it!
"All done, love. You were right, they're just scratches, I'm sure they'll be fine. Are you ready to go?, I asked her.
"Yep, I told Charlie that I would cook diner tonight, I thought he might like that and he does seem to really be trying to adjust!"
"He does, doesn't he. Do you mind maybe telling him that I'm taking a nap to get me out of dinner, I can stay up in your room and read and give you some alone time with your dad!"
"Sounds like a plan, let's go and no, I'm not putting the cast back me till I start cooking tonight!"
"Yes Ma'am!", I said holding both palms up in the air in a mock gesture of surrender!
~oooOooo~
Charlie POV
I sat in my office starring at the desk in front of me, my hands folded and my feet propped up on a chair. I was trying hard to find a reason, a rational, defend able reason to not like Edward. Other than his leaving last year, I just couldn't find one. The boy had smarts and style too, I'd give him that.
I guess I had better head on home, Bella had said she was making dinner for me tonight, well for the three of us. I did love her cooking! I grabbed my jacket and walked out into the evening chill to my squad car, and headed home.
Her new car was there, so I knew she was already home.
"Hello! Anyone home?", I said as I walked in the door, knowing full well she would be there. The house smelled amazing!
"Hey Dad!", she said looking over her shoulder where she stood stirring something at the stove.
"How was your day?"
"It was nice. Edward and I went for a hike in the woods and then checked on his old house here, nothing spectacular", she said as she kept stirring.
"Where is Edward?"
"He's gone to bed. He said he was really tired, but I think he just wanted to give us some time alone."
"Huh. I'm gonna check the news and scores Bells, call me when you want me, OK?
"OK Dad."
Same old Charlie, Somethings never change, he just had to see the sports scores each evening, if not watch a game on the flat screen. Billy used to come over a couple of times a week to watch the games with him. I knew he missed him. The thought of Billy took my mind to Jake. I had not heard from him in a couple of weeks, other than the birthday present in the mail. He was out on the circuit still, and I knew how busy that could be, especially since they were one crew member short with me not being there. I needed to remember to call him in the next few days to see if he is out this way, though I thought the next meet was in North Carolina.
"Dad, dinner!"
We sat and ate mostly in silence. It was not uncomfortable, it was just the way Charlie was. He wasn't much at conversation and hated being involved in anything emotional. The last few days had to have taken their toll on him. There had been more controversy and emotion in the last year than there had been previously in his entire life. I wanted this time with him. I knew my time with him was limited. We hadn't discussed it, but Edward had agreed to change me whenever I wanted, and I knew I would not wait long. My husband was frozen for all appearances at 17 years old, and I had just turned 19. I did not want to turn twenty. If he was staying in his teens forever, so was I.
"This spaghetti is real good Bells, real good. You always make the best bread with it! I have missed you, and your cooking!", he said as he laughed!
"Thanks Dad. I like cooking for you."
"Well Edward sure is lucky to have you for your cooking alone! I bet he loves it!"
I chuckled and didn't say anything. I had no idea how to cook mountain lion and Edward liked them alive and growling as far as I knew! My mind wandered, looking forward to the time I would get to see Edward hunt and wondering what that wold be like.
Charlie and I did the dishes together as we chatted about the weather in Forks and how it was better in Highlands, how it didn't rain as much. In an unusual display, Charlie hugged me goodnight. As he turned to leave the kitchen, Edward appeared in the doorway in a pair of flannel sleep pants slung low on his hips and no shirt.
"Sorry I missed dinner, Charlie. I hope you didn't mind, I was just really tired for some reason!", he said as he walked over to where I was leaning back against the sink and took up a position leaning on the counter beside me, holding my hand.
"That's alright Edward, I enjoyed the time with Bells here", he said smiling at me, "Are you two comfortable here, do you need anything?"
"We're fine, Charlie. Thank you for having me in your home", I pulled Bella in front of me and put my arms around her waist and my chin on her shoulder, "And thank you for trusting her enough to give us a chance!"
"I appreciate that, Edward, I do. You remember what I said, you be good to her. If I ever hear that you weren't, or that you left her again, remember I'm a pretty good shot!", he said with a smile, but his thoughts told me he was only half kidding!
"Goodnight kids!", Charlie said as he turned and headed up the stairs to bed.
EPOV
I thought reading upstairs was a better alternative to trying to hide the fact that I don't eat human food, or worst yet, actually having to eat it! I enjoyed reading. If the truth be told, I enjoyed being in Bellas' old room. I fell in love with her in this room, held her night after night in this room, kissed her in this room. It felt familiar, like a home I had once lived in.
I heard Charlie come in, I was sitting in the rocking chair reading her copy here of Wuthering Heights. I kept reading it to try and see what she saw in that damned book. Anyway, I heard her response to what we did today . . . nothing spectacular, if you don't count violent tree sex and fellatio that results in the demolition of a sofa! A smile crossed my face at the memory.
I returned my attention to the book until I heard Charlie about to say goodnight. I headed down the stairs and into the kitchen. I wanted to give him the chance to say the things that were on his mind and to cement the good feelings that we had been exchanging for the last day or two. It would be important to Bella . . . I knew she didn't have much time left with him. She would want to join my world soon and her not aging would prevent any extended relationship with her father.
"Goodnight Charlie", I told him. "Goodnight Dad", she said as we flipped off the lights in the kitchen and headed up the stairs to bed.
"I'll just be a minute", Bella told me as she headed for the bathroom. I went to lie on her bed and continue reading while I waited for her.
It was just a few minutes before I had my wife beside me again.
"I missed you", I said as I turned off the light and turned over to face her under the covers, She snuggled in to me as I wrapped my arms around her and gently kissed her lips.
"This would have been quite forward of me last year, lying in your bed in only sleep pants, my chest bare and you in just a nightgown!"
"Why, Mr. Cullen, would you like to be even more forward?", she asked as she softly stroked my cheek and kissed my lips.
"What did you have in mind, Mrs. Cullen?", I whispered as I nibbled her ear and kissed down her neck.
"This will do for a start, Mr. Cullen!"
We kissed and necked like the teenagers we were for a long while, trying to keep the soft giggles and murmured words quiet, only for us to hear. I pulled her gown over her head and hugged her to me. I stiffened, unable to move a muscle.
"Edward . . . are you alright?", she asked me as I looked at her, still as a statue.
"Bella, the question is are you alright?"
"I'm fine, sweetheart, I'd be better if you were closer over here?", she said as she felt the muscles in my chest and ran her hands up and around my neck.
"Bella, I know you got mad earlier because I kept apologizing for hurting you, you were adamant that anything we did together was mutual choice, and not just my choice. The problem with that is, if I mess up and really injure you Bella, and you die, I would be the one left without you. It may be a mutual decision to do something, but I would be the one left to live with the consequences. What I'm trying to say is, maybe we should not make love again until you are changed, Bella!"