Professor Membrane: *Has a son suffering from psychosis* *Only thing he did to Zim was ask him questions and taser him* *Falls down the stairs, hits knee on titanium block and busts off knee cap* *Blood everywhere*

Fans: OMI PRUFESSIR MEMBRAINE GOTTED WAT HE DIZERVED!1!1!11!1!

Zim: *Deprived Dib of sanity and academic ability, plus got him hospitalized* *Scrapes knee against table* *Doesn't even bleed*

Fans: OMI ZIMMY BB ILY R U OKS BB? BB! *Runs over with iodine*

Me: *Takes Professor Membrane's taser and tases all the fans* *Takes iodine and brings it to Prof.*

Hahaha. But seriously.

Zim stared up at Professor Membrane, who's back was currently turned. He was doing something. Zim couldn't see what he was doing, but he heard papers shift. Perhaps he was evaluating the data he had just given him?
That's probably what he was doing.
Zim wanted the professor to do something VERY important. He wondered if Professor Membrane would do it, even if he asked. It was worth a shot. After all, it's not like the professor could do anything worse to him.

Except…

"Professor," Zim said, keeping his voice kind. He did NOT want to upset Professor Membrane
Are you kidding? He thought to himself. You disabled his son! Haven't you already upset him enough?
Professor Membrane turned around swiftly.
Compared to the other humans Zim had met, Membrane was truly a sight. He held himself upright. He had a nice voice, too. It was rich. It reminded Zim of silk. Or maybe dark chocolate. Dark chocolate was one of the few Earth foods Zim liked.
And also his intelligence. He was able to invent all these things, and the rest of the humans, it seemed, couldn't even tie their own shoes. Yes, Membrane was amazing. Almost as amazing as him.
You're not amazing! The sharp voice snapped in his head. You're a murderer. A cold-blooded robber. What are you robbing, you ask? Well, what have you robbed Dib of?!
"What?" Membrane asked. His tone was cold and sharp. Test subjects weren't supposed to ask questions.
"Can I tell you something?"
"Yes. But make it quick. I have work to do and a son to take care of." He looked at Zim menacingly when he said the word "son".
"Can I tell you my side of the story, why I attacked him like that?"
"Okay." Membrane's voice lacked emotion.
"Well," Zim said. "He came over to my house AFTER I had abandoned my mission. He started telling me that he didn't believe me, and he grabbed my antenna and pulled them. Irkens' antenna are very sensitive, and he pulled at them so I—"
"I DON'T CARE!" Professor Membrane snapped. "DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU DID TO MY SON?!" Zim shivered.
"Yes, but—"
"BUT WHAT?!" Zim laid there, shaking.
"I felt like I needed to defend myself."
"YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME! OR PUSHED HIM OFF! BUT YOU SHREDDED HIM UP!" Professor Membrane slammed his fist against the metal bed, and Zim heard his hand bone crack. "WHAT IF I TOOK SOMEONE YOU LOVED AND—"
"Professor," Zim said calmly. "I can't love."
Professor Membrane stared down at the alien boy. He was puzzled. What did he mean by "I can't love?" Hm.
"What do you mean, Zim?" He asked.
"I cannot feel the emotion love. They took it away from my PAK."
"Who took it away?" Zim hesitated. Should he tell him? Why not. What did he have to lose?
"Irkens are not born. They are created. A mother Irken donates an egg cell and a father Irken donates a sperm cell. They are combined in a tube and grown into an Irken baby. They banned sexual reproduction. Centuries ago, Irken teenagers began to commit suicide because the boy and the girl couldn't go on dates anymore, blah blah blah. Things like that. Stupid things. So they just… banned love. Banned it for good." Professor Membrane stared down at Zim for the longest time.
"Will you change my PAK so that I, too, may love?" Zim finally asked. Professor Membrane sighed. He had a lot of work to do. He didn't want to do any favors for Zim.
But, then again, maybe if Zim could love, he'd realize what he'd done in an even stronger way.
"Alright," Professor Membrane said. "But you're going to need to walk me through it."
There was a lot of "Put this wire heres" and things like that. Professor Membrane actually had to inject some human hormones into Zim.
At last. The procedure was complete.
Zim was hit with this rush of emotion. Hurt. Sadness. Need. Want. He felt Professor Membrane hurting for Dib. He felt Professor Membrane loving Dib. Zim loved Professor Membrane. He loved Dib. Tears steamed down Zim's face. What had he done? He couldn't live like this. And yet the emotions were so extreme he didn't want these feelings to leave. He felt an empty hole inside him. Love for the parents who were never there for him. He didn't even know who his donors were. His donors didn't know who he was.
"Professor. Love hurts."
"Do you see now what you've done? You've torn my family apart!" Zim choked.
"Yes." He whispered. Why did he love Professor Membrane? Maybe it was because Professor Membrane was the reason why he still had a purpose. But the only person he loved was falling apart.
"I want you to be my father, professor," Zim said. Professor Membrane grew still and looked at Zim.
"What?"
"I've never had a father who could love me, or care for me. It's only been me for myself. Machines raised me. I raised me. And I hate the system. Love is beautiful. Why did they take it away?"
"I feel no pity for you, Zim. Until my son can regain his sanity—"
"But he can! You and I, we're both smart. Both have a lab. Both have equipment. We can create something to help your son!"
Professor Membrane thought about this for a long while. What other choice do you have?! A voice in his head screamed.
"Alright, Zim. But before you even get NEAR my son, I will run careful tests on the 'cure' to make sure you didn't hide any arsenic in it or anything." The professor looked at Zim in the eye. Zim saluted Professor Membrane.
"Yes, Sir, my Tallest— er, I mean, Professor Membrane." And together they went off to invent a cure for Dib.

"If something's troubling you, just do whatever it takes to fix the problem. It's the scientific way!"

-Professor Membrane

I really like that Professor Membrane said this in the unaired episode Mopiness of Doom, because he's one of my favorite characters and whenever I'm feeling depressed or down I think about that quote and it makes me feel better.