A/n- I'm not going to even try to explain the many hundreds of reasons why this update has been so slow in coming...

I've been writing Fallen for over two years! Can you believe it? Thank you to everyone and anyone who's stuck with me this far and has left me a review or PM-ed me. Without your reviews I sadly wouldn't have had the motivation to write this much, so thanks for all of your wonderful messages of encouragement!

This chapter, the long awaited one, has been planned since the beginning of this fic. Ironically this made it even harder to write than usual. I wanted it to be perfect but this is the best I can do…

It's dedicated to my best friend Elfie-may -thanks for being there on Tuesday, you're the best! (Thanks also to Thor-a-dore for much-needed prodding)...

Please listen to the song Fallen. It is the food that has fuelled this whole story. It's playcount on my mp3 has embarrassingly topped 1000!

Happy Christmas to you all!

Confusedknight xx


Fallen by Sarah McLachlan

Heaven bent to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight

Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
in the lonely light of morning
in the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
I held so dear…

I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

Heaven bent to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Or they turned their heads embarrassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
You'll slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

Kel lay awake for hours that evening, her thoughts tumbling and churning in her head like the waters of the Vassa after many weeks of rainfall. Memories of different fights assailed her; images of men missing limbs writhing on the ground, their lifeblood spraying from fatal wounds and the terror in the eyes of those who knew that they would not survive the battle.

Turning over Kel screwed up her eyes to try and dislodge these horrific scenes from her inner eyelids. Women being beaten to death because they couldn't work any more at the plantation, Jacqui dying and leaving behind three young children…

Kel moaned softly, wondering why tonight of all nights she was plagued by some of the worst moments of her life.

It took her a long time to drift into slumber.

Kel's eyes were downcast, fixed upon the fabric of her blue woollen shift. Her clean delicate hands were neatly folded on her lap. Kel was aware of her calm deep breaths, audible in the stillness and the hard wood of the pew against her back.

She was about to address the Goddess when the door opened, Kel hearing the noise fractionally before she felt the cool draft on the back of her neck. Heavy foot falls on the flagstone floor made Kel twist in her seat.

A massive beast, seven feet tall stood in the doorway. Most of his body resembled a human's, albeit grossly enlarged and thickened. He had a bull's broad neck however and on top of his head were two broad horns. To one side Kel could glimpse a bull's tail. His nose almost resembled a human's but his jaws were large, slathering and his face wore an expression of undeniable triumph.

She heard a shrill scream and leapt up. Acting on instinct Kel pulled Lucie out of the pews, almost hurling the girl into the corner, as far away from the monster as possible.

As Kel searched desperately for a weapon, Lucie's screaming filled the temple, aggravating the Tauros so that it let out a deafening bellow and began to lurch forward.

Kel's heart was thumping so hard that it hurt, but she willed herself to remain calm and at last she spotted a weapon. An old broadsword was displayed on the wall, much larger and thicker than Courage. Thanking her own luck, she yanked it off the wall. To her surprise it was heavy, much heavier than Courage, so heavy that it was a struggle to lift. Gripping it in two sweaty hands she dashed back towards Lucie, hampered slightly by her woollen gown.

The beast had slowed and seemed to be assessing its prey. It turned its head slowly to fix unblinking eyes upon Kel, who stopped in her tracks, panting. She glanced around wildly for an escape route; somewhere that Lucie could run whilst she fended the beast off.

Almost as if it knew what she was thinking, the air shimmered silver and the main doors swung closed with a sound that resonated round the temple, chilling the blood in Kel's veins. The silver mist covered the doors behind the altar too; they were trapped. When the echoes stopped all that could be heard were the harsh sounds of the beasts breathing and Lucie's terrified whimpering.

The tauros seemed to have come to a decision and started once again toward Lucie. Grimly Kel ploughed forward and with an astonishing effort she swung the mighty sword upwards and brought it down, but the beast deflected the blow with one huge horn.

Kel's attack seemed to have provoked it however and although Kel had darted backwards it started towards her instead. Kel had a brief moment of triumph; Lucie was safe for the time being, but all that feeling drained from her as she realised that now the beast was coming for her and all she had to defend herself was a sword which she could barely swing fast enough to surprise anything.

Deciding that being backed into a corner wasn't the best idea, Kel gritted her teeth and like many times before in her life, she stood her ground.

As the beast grew within the distance of her sword she stepped forward and stabbed the beast's shoulder. Thick drops of glutinous silver blood spattered onto the stone floor and it howled in anger.

Kel couldn't understand why she felt so sluggish. What was wrong with her? Looking down she saw, not the body of a woman, but that of an undernourished eleven-year-old.

Cold dread filled Kel's heart as she looked back up, meeting the monster's emotionless eyes. It was happening all over again. With nothing else to do as the tauros charged forwards Kel swung the ancient weapon again, hating the un-coordination of her limbs.

This time however the beast was wary and dodged her deadly swing, turning to the side. With a grunt of effort she brought the sword back across managing to create another shallow wound which leaked silver blood.

Her third swing was far too slow and the beast lurched forward twisting the weapon from Kel's grip in one fluid motion. Kel was jerked forward by the unexpected attack and the tauros' second horn gouged her. Scarlet blood began to seep from the long wound which extended the full width of her chest, just below her collarbones.

The force of the blow had tossed her clean off her feet. She slammed back down onto the cold floor and rolled over once. Pain was flaring across her chest and her dress was already stained red, the scarlet mark blossoming and growing with each second. Terror was settled in Kel's heart because she knew what was about to happen and she was powerless to stop it.

It was upon her before she had time to think or scream for help, its huge mass bearing down on her, attacking mercilessly, without pause or thought.

Kel was barely conscious; all she could feel was pain. Her mouth was open and she realised that she was screaming involuntarily, the noise wracking her vocal chords. Reaching up with one, small, blood-covered hand she reached into her hair and then drove her hand upwards. When she unclasped her hand a silver handle was just visible embedded in the beast's chest. Then she reached up and pulled in out. It was like a barrel had been uncorked and suddenly the beast's life blood poured out in a torrent onto Kel. It twitched and shuddered twice before collapsing, dead.

Kel coughed, choking as the acrid blood entered her mouth. She was pinned beneath the hulking mass of the tauros. The scream had died in her throat and for horrible moments Kel thought she was going to die, half drowned, half suffocated beneath the corpse of her attacker.

Suddenly she heard footsteps and felt the load on her chest lighten as the carcass was hauled off of her. She stared up through horrified eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks. She was paralysed with shock and pain.

One of the men who'd dragged the tauros away bent down and took hold of her hand, his one feeling large and warm. Through her tear-blurred vision she saw blue eyes and a face that was achingly familiar. A younger version of Dom stared down at her, horrified.

Kel ran, her desire to flee overriding the pain. She left the temple, sprinting across the paved platform and starting down the slope of the hill. A weed caught her ankle and she fell, tumbling over and over…

Kel jerked and awoke, soaked in cold sweat. She shivered still blinking away the nightmare. Turning over she buried her face in the soft material of her pillow, breathing heavily. Tears leaked out of the corner of her eyes and seeped into the cotton material.

Dom had been there, at the temple. He had seen what had happened. Kel could not believe that she hadn't realised before.

Knowing that she would never be able to sleep now, Kel rolled out of her pallet and searched for a dry shirt. She was looking for one in particular. It was at the bottom of one of her saddlebags. It was one of the shirts that she had brought with her from Scanra, the one that she had been wearing when she'd last seen Alex.

The sleeve was dirty, stained with blood from her wrist injury, the material still torn open. Kel tied the wraps from shoulder to sleeve that kept the sleeves tight and not flapping. She struggled into a pair of breeches and pulled on her worn boots.

As she leant forward to strap her belt tightly to her slim waist, her chain fell forward and Kel found herself looking at the small charms and talismans that reminded her of different people and places.

'You show them Keladry of Mindelan, you show them…' Alex's words echoed in her ears as clearly as though she'd just heard them.

It was still dark outside and Kel stepped through the deserted rows of tents, the dew darkening her boots. Kel debated where she could go. She had to do something to calm herself down. It would be too early to go and find Prince, as he would be securely locked away in the backyard of the Jugged Hare.

Suddenly struck by an idea, and not really thinking straight, Kel's legs led her up the gravel path that wound towards the palace. On the Eastern side of the building, Kel entered a dim corridor, lit only by a flickering oil lamp.

She pushed open the dark door and slipped inside the dusty chapel. Peering up through tear-laced lashed Kel observed the interior of the chapel of ordeal.

It was rumoured that pages who visited the chapel never became squires, but Kel was not a page anymore and the chapel was never locked.

The flickering shadows played across the gold ornaments on the altar and the burnished face of Mithros giving him an eery, serious expression.

Kel stepped down through the chapel, her feet barely making a noise on the stone floor. Swallowing audibly, she stepped up to the ornate door that lead to the Chamber of Ordeal.

Not entirely sure why she did so, Kel laid her small, tired hands against the iron door.

Instantly she was pitched forward onto a plain, the sun still low in the sky. Alex was standing there, his face more lifelike and powerful than any of her memories. A cry rose in her throat and she started to run towards him. The ground squelched beneath her feet and Kel made the mistake of glancing down. Horrified, Kel realised that the earth beneath her feet was stained crimson with blood. She looked up at Alex and his small band of fighters. Alex stared grimly back at her.

Still running as fast as she could Kel could suddenly discern the noise of a horn filtering from over the hill. Maggur's army appeared on the horizon, tramping steel and leather in many thousands. Alex's group of rebels were outnumbered and surrounded. Even if she reached him in time what could she do?

Tears began to stream from Kel's horrified hazel eyes, this couldn't happen, it couldn't.

Kel staggered back from the chamber door, her hands red and raw like she'd just dunked them in boiling water. Though her vision was blurred by tears, Kel's path suddenly seemed clearer than it had ever been before. She would win the tournament; there could be no option of failure.

Her cheeks were still damp as she fled from the chapel of Ordeal, hurtling round corners and out into the dim morning. An early rising servant glanced up at her as she raced past, but Kel didn't slow down. The cool air was hurting her lungs and she slowed to a walk, trying to control her erratic behaviour.

Eventually she came to rest in the outskirts of the Royal forest, sinking to the soft ground beneath a tree and resting her head on her knees.

'Lia?' Dom called. When there was no reply he poked his head around the tent flap. Puzzled, for every other morning before a match Dom had found Kel sitting in quiet meditation or stretching, he straightened up.

Dom checked everywhere he could think of, including all the practice courts before conceding defeat. Realising that Kel might want to be alone before the fight he met up with Neal instead, who was ranting about his intolerable knight-mistress.

'She got word of an outbreak of water-fever just south of Corus and dragged me off for the entire day. I missed the semi-final,' said Neal, sounding put-out.

'Lia made it through,' Dom said absently.

'I heard,' replied Neal. 'The Lioness is thrilled.'

'Shall we go and get a good view?' asked Dom.

As they made their way over to court number one, the largest of practice courts, they discovered that several wooden platforms and stands had been erected around its perimeter.

'So do you think she has a chance?' Neal inquired as they climbed into the bottom row of the stands.

Dom shrugged, 'Sir Layton is good, very good…'

'But?'

'If you'd seen her fight yesterday…she beat the Shang Bear which isn't an easy task. I've never seen any fighting style quite like it. She looks to be an ordinary swordswoman, and then suddenly she speeds up so that she's faster than a Shang and with moves that I've never seen…'

'The conservatives will be angry if she wins,' said Neal with relish.

'Mmm,' said Dom, wondering for the thousandth time what it was that was so special about Lia.

Kel skulked in the shadows, unnoticed by those chattering excitedly on their way to the court.

She had calmed down and had boxed all emotion away as she had once been trained to do by the Yamani's. Detached, she checked everything from her boot laces to her wrist guards. Readjusting the strap of material around her head, Kel straightened and unsheathed Courage.

Her limbs were ready, her mind was ready, she would not fail…As Kel walked onto the earthen arena, the noise of the crowd doubled.

Dom straightened as Kel entered, his eyes greedily roving over her face, wondering anxiously if she was alright.

Kel was staring out over the crowd with her dreamy eyes, her face totally impassive and unconcerned. Dressed in a dirty old shirt and breeches, with her usual wrist guards she looked starkly underdressed in comparison to the knight that she was challenging.

Sir Layton was a good seven inches taller than Kel and with his gleaming armour he looked about twice as broad. From an observer's point of view she looked horribly outmatched, but Dom knew that speed and skill were often more important than brawn.

A tournament official was speaking to the two competitors but over the clamour there was no way that Dom could here what they were saying.

Everyone stilled as the knight bowed to the woman, and the woman returned the bow.

The final of the King's tournament began.

Kel's focus was so intense, so honed that it was almost painful. The crowd had disappeared. Even her anxiety and nerves had been swamped into oblivion by the adrenalin that thundered through her veins.

Muscles shifted silently beneath cotton clothes and skin, ready to face the onslaught.

When Sir Layton stepped forward he attacked with speed, jabbing and reversing at any opportunity. Kel defended it all, though not as efficiently as she had done against other competitors. Beneath all of his armour, and the fact that he was a very good swordsman, Layton moved without warning.

It didn't phase Kel however, who was used to Alex's cat-like attacks. She stood her ground, attacking whenever the opportunity presented itself. When their swords clashed the noise rang in the air, sparks literally flying in their thousands, momentarily glowing and flaring before sinking to the floor.

As the match progressed, blow matching blow, neither gained the upper hand. Kel was not tired; she had trained too long for that, but she was still having difficulty predicting the Knight's varying movements.

Several times Courage came close to scratching the Knight's shining breastplate, but Layton stepped out of the way just in time.

Both swords met and the two fighters heaved, trying to bear down on each other. Kel struggled, her muscles screaming. Here Layton had a definite advantage. Sidestepping in a risky move she darted round and swiped the Knight's side. Almost expecting the move, Layton's sword twirled and nicked Kel's right tricep.

Dark red blossomed and for the first time Kel was aware of the crowd's collective gasp. Trying to use his advantage, the knight entered a series of arm-numbing attacks.

Her right arm weak and throbbing, Layton knocked her blade to the side. Kel made a split-second decision. As he brought the next blow around, she knew that her sword would be only provide a weak defence. Instead Kel leapt and twisted, like an acrobat flying, landing in a crouch. Straightening up, her grip on the sword double-handed she faced the knight again.

The unexpected move had bought Kel the time she needed. Her grip on the hilt was dominated by her uninjured left arm. After two blocks Kel suddenly released the sword into the sole control of her left arm.

Attacking in earnest, Kel drove Courage wildly through a mixture of Yamani, Tortallan and Scanran sequences. She was speeding up, Courage a blur and for the first time started to force the knight to fight the way she wanted him to.

Kel knew that if she concentrated her attacks on his left side, he would presume that she would feint to the right. She did just that and then with a blade movement so fast it was a blur, double-feinted back to her left and landed a resounding blow.

Her follow-up attack was merciless and soon she had the knight stepping backwards out of the way. Knowing that he would soon be in a corner, the knight's moves became more desperate and gaps started to appear.

Coolly Kel exploited any weakness she could find. The knight was evidently unused to fighting against a left-handed opponent and tended to leave small openings.

Without even hesitating, their exchange of blows continued, Kel's body working like a well oiled machine; her feet, body position and blade were all in perfect harmony, displaying the results of hundreds of hours of practice.

She almost knew it was about to happen before it did. Layton performed the same counter-move as he had done minutes before, and like then there was room for Kel to drive her sword forwards and upwards.

Transferring her weight gave her momentum, allowing Kel to travel forwards. Defending herself with the base of the blade, she let the tip settle at the gap between Layton's breastplate and harness.

After a moments pause Layton said raspily, 'I yield.'

The crowd was so still and silent that you would've heard the chink of two coppers in a page's pocket. There hadn't been such a fight since Alanna had defeated Duke Roger on the day she was knighted.

Then the crowd went wild. Whistles, cheers and screams filled Kel's ears with such sudden intensity that she almost flinched. Sheathing Courage Kel bowed low to the knight, who returned the courtesy.

Dom had his fingers in his mouth, whistling, shocked and ecstatic that Kel had won the tournament. He watched as Kel probed her blood-stained upper arm with almost clinical interest.

Dom wanted to go to her, to help her, congratulate her, but there was no way he'd make it out of the congested stands anytime soon, and even as he watched she disappeared out of the arena.

Kel's heart was still hammering as she scuttled back to her tent, barely able to comprehend what she had achieved. Throbbing pain began to filter in, but Kel knew that her arm wasn't badly hurt. Wincing, she bandaged her arm tightly and slipped on a new shirt, discarding her wrist guards.

Shaking with unidentifiable emotion, she collapsed onto her pallet and sat with her arms wrapped around herself, trying to calm down. She had achieved what she had set out to do; she had made people take notice. Now that she had their attention Kel knew that it was time to face what she'd been running from for four years.

Kel clambered to her feet and swayed, allowing her light-headedness to pass. Forcing her breathing to be deep and steady, Kel left the tent; she didn't want Dom or anyone else to find her before she said what she had to say.

Standing in the shadows, waiting to be presented with her winnings, was a constant battle for Kel. The easy option would be to simply say nothing, why not seek out her parents at a later date? Kel was sorely tempted by this idea, but, although she felt sick with nerves, this was something that Kel had to do, if only to prove to herself that she could face everyone.

Kel's legs were shaking so badly that she had to keep moving on the spot to hide it. From her position she could see the raised platform, bearing the King, Alanna the Lioness, Lord Raoul of Goldenlake, Sir Gareth of Naxen (the younger) and Lord Wyldon.

In the stands reserved for nobles Kel laid eyes upon the familiar faces of her parents. Far from bringing comfort, this made her shake even more.

She watched as Lord Imrah of Legann collected his archery trophy, and Lord Raoul, much to the crowd's pleasure received the trophy for the joust.

'Citizens of Tortall,' began the King when the crowd settled. 'Friends from abroad, all who are gathered here today, we are proud to present a sum of one hundred gold nobles to the winner of the King's Tournament.'

A cheer emerged from the excited throng and Kel forced herself to step forward. Walking, like a prisoner to the gallows Kel stepped up onto the platform. She had let her face slip into its Yamani mode, but was too busy concentrating on the flips that her stomach was performing. Her mouth was dry and she felt dizzy with nerves.

'Kneel,' commanded the King.

Taking a deep, shuddering breath Kel replied; 'No.' The crowd quietened. If they hadn't been paying attention before, then they were now.

'I think I must've misheard you?' said Jon, trying to keep his voice calm and light.

'I said no,' replied Kel, holding her nerve, despite the fact that she felt like she was about to slip sideways in a dead faint.

The King was now getting over his initial shock and was starting to look annoyed and a little angry.

'Your name Lady Warrior?' He asked, anger evident in his voice. 'As your King I command you to kneel. You owe me your allegiance…'

Anger, sparked by her nerves, flared in Kel. She took a deep breath, bringing her stone cold eyes up to catch the King's.

'Keladry of Mindelan' she said, her clear voice carrying across the silent crowd. '…and I owe you nothing.'

The King's sapphire blue eyes widened in shock and Kel could hear a collective intake of breath in the crowd behind her. Time seemed to pause for a fraction of a second, and then, knowing that all of Uusoae's realmwas about to break loose, Kel turned on her heel, striding down the wooden structure. She made the mistake of glancing up at her parents in the stands for nobles and saw tears pouring down Ilane's cheeks. Feeling her own eyes well up she dodged the guards that stood nearby, jumped off of the platform and sprinted away.

'Kel? That can't be Kel,' Merric half shouted to Seaver, his eyes goggling in his freckled face.

Seaver was craning his neck, trying to spot where the woman had disappeared too.

'Kel's hair was a lot darker and shorter,' reasoned Merric.

'You dolt it's probably grown,' said Seaver exasperatedly, giving up his futile attempts to spot Kel.

'But if it is her, then why didn't anyone know who she was? Why didn't her family know?'

'No one's heard from Kel for three and a half years,' said Neal slowly, running his hand through his hair, his mouth half gaping as his brain slowly sorted itself out.

'Precisely, so how can it be Kel? Where would she have learned to fight like that? Where could she have been for all this time?'

Ignoring Merric's questions, Neal began to shoulder his way through the crowd, trying to reach his cousin.

Dom had half collapsed back against the stand, shock splashed across his face. Neal grabbed Dom's shoulder roughly and pulled Dom to face him.

'Tell me you didn't know who she was?' he asked in a tone of mingled anger, confusion and desperate hope.

Dom shook his head slowly, 'Mithros,' he said weakly. 'We should have done something.'

'What are you talking about?' demanded Neal, his emerald green eyes a whirlwind of emotion.

'I need to speak to her…' said Dom vaguely, his voice trailing off as his limbs started to coordinate themselves into a purposeful stride.

He elbowed and shoved his way to the end of the stand and down the steps. As Dom made his way out of the crowd, closely followed by Neal, he saw two men coming towards him with equally horrified and shocked expressions on their faces. Dom didn't pause, but carried on to Kel's tent, walking so fast he was practically running. The other three men struggled to keep up. He ducked into Kel's tent.

Kel sat on the floor, not even bothering to look up to see who had entered. She trembled ever so slightly.

'Kel?' asked Dom. The name sounded strange and unfamiliar in his mouth. He knelt next to her and with gentle fingers pushed her chin up. There were unshed tears pooled in her hazel eyes and she wouldn't meet his gaze.

There was the sound of footsteps, muffled by the grass and then three more men entered the tent. She looked slowly at Lord Raoul, Lord Wyldon and Neal through blurred vision. And then, finally she looked at Dom.

'You were there?' she blurted out, her voice dangerously close to cracking.

Dom's nod confirmed her dream. 'You really are Keladry of Mindelan?'

Kel pulled down the collar of her shirt, revealing one portion of the scar beneath her collarbones.

Now it was his turn to look away. 'I'm so sorry Kel, we should have protected you,' there was self-loathing in his voice. 'We failed.'

Kel blinked and a few tears overflowed, it hadn't even occurred to her to blame Dom, Raoul or Wyldon for what had happened.

'No,' said Kel softly, 'It's no one's fault.'

'You saved her,' croaked Lord Wyldon, 'you sacrificed yourself to save Lucie.'

Kel said nothing, wishing that they would just let the subject be.

'Kel?' asked Neal's voice, more serious that she had ever heard it before. 'Is it really you?'

Kel nodded miserably, more tears making their salty way down her cheeks.

'Why didn't you say something?' Neal asked, hurt creeping into his voice. 'Mithros, I thought you were DEAD!' he shouted angrily. 'Do you know how many times I've prayed even for a whisper that you were alive? But we've heard nothing, nothing. You just disappeared, ran away without any thought of the people who cared for you.'

As Neal ranted Kel began to cry softly. She knew Neal had a right to be angry with her.

'Neal,' said Dom sharply. 'We can talk this all out later when everyone's a bit calmer.'

Neal was about to reply, but instead stormed away, leaving the tent flap fluttering behind him.

'We should get you up to the castle,' said Raoul gently. 'If people find out that this is your tent, you'll have no peace. I'm sure there are a lot of people anxious to see you, but at least in a proper room you can decide who you want to talk to and when.'

Dom nodded and helped Kel to her feet. Kel roughly brushed away her tears with the back of her sleeve and gathered up her things.

'Here, let me take that,' said Raoul kindly, slinging Kel's bag over his shoulder.

They made their way up to the castle, Kel hiding behind a curtain of her tousled hair. Lord Wyldon slipped away silently and Raoul and Dom led Kel to a room in the nobles' wing.

Raoul lightly set her things down on a table. 'Is there anything I can get you?' He asked.

'Can you tell my parents where I am?' asked Kel gruffly.

'Of course.' Raoul left the room.

'I'll understand if you want me to leave you,' said Dom.

'Do you want to leave me?' asked Kel peering up through damp lashes.

'Never,' said Dom softly, and he bent down to kiss her. When they broke apart he said, 'You can call yourself Delia of Eldorne for all I mind, it's the person in here,' he gestured to her heart and head, 'that I love.'

'But I lied to you,' Kel pointed out.

'I don't care,' Dom replied with emphasis, his large hands gently cupping her face. 'And one day, when you feel you're ready, you can tell me how you became one of the realm's finest swordsmen.'

'One day,' promised Kel.

'I can wait,' Dom assured her.

At that moment there was a knock on the door.

'I'll come back later,' he said.

With one final caress of her cheek with his thumb, Dom left and Lady Ilane came in through the door, Piers following shortly after.

Kel stood awkwardly still, her eyes greedily ranging over every detail of her parents faces, details that she had forgotten.

'Oh Kel!' exclaimed her mother, and Ilane, all dignity forgotten flew across the room to embrace her daughter. Her face paint, already streaked and blurred was subjected to fresh bombardment as tears streamed from Ilane's eyes.

'Mama,' Kel whispered and hugged her mother back, inhaling the lemongrass scent that accompanied the elder lady wherever she went.

When Ilane relinquished her hold on her youngest daughter, Piers stepped forward to grasp Kel's forearms. He held Kel at arms length, examining her as though he were barely able to believe it was her. He ran a dry, wrinkled thumb across the slight ridge in her nose where it had been broken, and the scar on her eyebrow.

'We've missed you,' he said simply, pulling her into a tight embrace.

Kel struggled not to cry, fighting the burning sensation in her tear ducts.

'I've missed you too,' whispered Kel, 'but-'

'Shh,' said Ilane. 'There'll be time for explanations later, you're back, and that's the most important thing.'

The lady set about making calming draughts of willow tea, constantly glancing back over her shoulder to check that Kel was still there, that it wasn't her imagination.

'So how is everyone?' asked Kel tentatively.

'Tilane has given birth to two more healthy boys,' Ilane called over her shoulder.

'Princess Shinkokami is betrothed to marry Prince Roald,' her father told her, filling her in on the political news. 'It all went very smoothly actually…'

After an hour, the conversation was whittling thin, and Kel stood up, 'There's someone I have to find.'

She cringed inwardly at the dash of fear that entered her mother's eyes.

'I'll eat with you this evening,' Kel assured her as she slipped away.

Kel was led to Neal's squire's quarters by a maid and knocked three times on the door.

There was a moments silence and then the sound of other doors opening and footsteps across stone floor. The teak door swung open to reveal a short woman with coppery red hair and the strangest eyes Kel had ever seen.

The amethyst eyes widened in surprise as she registered the visitor.

'Is Neal there?' asked Kel in her quiet manner, refusing to give in to her instinct to shy away from this respected warrior.

'No,' said Alanna shortly. 'I think I saw him heading in the direction of the library.'

'Thank you,' said Kel with a small bow and she turned to leave.

'Wait,' said Alanna. 'It's Keladry isn't it?'

'Kel, my lady.'

'Kel,' Alanna corrected herself. 'You fought very well today.'

Kel ducked her head in a minute bow, acknowledging the compliment.

'You have any interesting fighting style, unique,' commented the Lioness. 'May I?'

She gestured to Courage. Unsure of where the conversation was headed, Kel kept silent and passed Alanna the shining blade that had been Kel's stoic companion for so long.

Alanna tested the weight and balance of the sword with the experience of a veteran fighter. She then examined the blade's surface, her eyes finally coming to rest on the engraved writing.

'That's Scanran isn't it?'

Kel, knowing that Alanna already knew the answer, nodded.

'Well this is worth its weight in gold,' Alanna remarked, passing the sword back to Kel. 'But a sword is only as good as the man, or woman that wields it. Fortunately this blade has found an equal in you,' said Alanna, looking directly up at Kel. 'I would be honoured if you'd join me for practise sometime.'

'The honour would be mine,' said Kel, hiding her shock.

The two women bowed and departed; Alanna back to her room and Kel to the library.

Neal was indeed in the library, his lanky form supported by a case of ancient books.

He looked up as Kel paused, three paces from him.

'Come for a walk with me?' she offered.

Nodding silently Neal pushed himself upright, his green eyes unreadable. He led Kel from the oppressive silence of the library and into the eye-watering sunlight of the summer's day.

They twisted and turned through the manicured gardens; walking past carved benches and sculpted hedges. Expensive fish swum in the cool waters of specially crafted ponds, sunlight glinting off of their scales as the pair walked past.

'Neal…' started Kel, unable to bear it any longer. 'I'm sorry, I really am…' she said helplessly.

Neal's stride didn't falter.

'I only came back a few months ago.'

'Back from where?' Neal whirled around so quickly that Kel almost bumped into him. 'I thought you were dead! Does that not mean anything to you? Couldn't you have just sent one letter? Just one…' his voice trailed away.

'Neal,' said Kel wretchedly. 'What were you told about why I ran away in the first place?'

'You were at the convent,' he started slowly. 'There was an immortal attack, you saved the Stump's daughter and then ran away,' he added as an afterthought, 'into a blizzard.'

Kel exhaled. 'It was a tauros Neal.' Her hazel eyes met his emerald ones.

'What happened?' he asked quietly.

Kel broke the eye contact. 'I couldn't fight it off, not without a proper weapon.' She whispered. 'I got injured pretty badly and …'

'And?'

'What do tauros's usually do?' Kel snapped softly. 'Then I ran,' she said simply. 'Half-crazed with shock and blood loss I stole a horse, but when the blizzard started I fell and I don't really remember anything more. For a long time after that I didn't stop running…'

'Why did you come back?' asked Neal confused.

'I remembered a promise I made,' she said, a lone tear straying down her cheek. 'I couldn't hide forever. And I'm so sorry,' Kel's voice cracked. 'I would've found you sooner if I wasn't such a coward.'

Neal stepped forward to embrace the stranger that was his old friend. Though she was only fifteen the body he hugged was that of a woman, vastly different to the eleven-year-old who had left him behind one summer's evening.

The only familiar part of Kel was her pair of deep hazel eyes peeping out from underneath long damp eyelashes. Time had broken her nose, removed her Yamani face and left scars that littered her worn hands.

'What do you mean to do now?' asked Neal.

'Fight,' said Kel simply.

a/n- Sheesh! Long chapter!! I hope that was worth the stupidly long wait :D

Please leave a review -it is christmas!

Confusedknight xxx