I need you
Makoto's emerald gems clashed with those heavenly pools of blue. He felt like he was drowning in those sparkling oceans and it even made him forget the way he was feeling tonight. Makoto had felt a distinct feeling of longing and passion when he was lying awake in his own room earlier. He felt the need to come to Haruka and now that he was half on top of the boy, he couldn't quite seem to remember that feeling of loving. Haruka's chest was heaving softly, but it was still clear that his chest fell and rose more rapidly than it should. His lips were slightly parted and his eyes were begging for more but Makoto wasn't sure what that more meant anymore. He knew he should probably kiss Haruka but what if the kiss wasn't what Haruka expected? What if he couldn't live up to Haruka's expectations? Makoto closed his eyes and tried to figure out the slight changes in his own body. His heart was beating wildly and his mind was reeling with all kinds of wayward thoughts. Makoto knew that it was useless to keep thinking and perhaps he should just act. There was nothing wrong with acting but Makoto was still afraid of hurting Haruka. It was the one thing he wanted to avoid at all costs because Makoto knew well enough that when Haruka was hurt, he was hurt as well.
"What's wrong?" Haruka asked softly as he brushed his fingertips against Makoto's cheeks. Makoto's hand gripped at the sheets as he felt burning sensations dance along his skin where Haruka touched him. Makoto was unable to say if it felt wrong or right but he did feel electric. His spine was constantly attacked with violent shivers and shudders. Haruka continued to brush his fingers against Makoto's cheeks in a loving and cherishing way. Makoto knew he was loved and he just wanted to return that love with all the force he could muster. He had felt a happy flutter when Rin had told him how much he was loved during that crazy roller coaster ride, but that feeling was long gone. His body was burning with desire but he was afraid to let go because he didn't want to make love to someone without feeling the love with his entire body and soul. Makoto didn't work that way, at least not anymore. It may have been the case when he first dated Rin but he didn't want that anymore. He needed more.
Haruka gasped as Makoto buried his face in Haruka's neck. Haruka just wrapped his arms around Makoto's back, his fingers gently playing with Makoto's hair. The raven-haired male had hoped that Makoto was finally back to his old self but Haruka wasn't entirely unhappy. It meant so much to have Makoto back in his arms and Haruka knew that it would be like learning how to walk again. The things that Makoto wasn't able to give just yet would probably come naturally again if he was given enough time. This morning, Makoto yearned to get away from Haruka and yet, here he was again, almost as close to Haruka as he could be. Haruka could feel his neck getting slightly wet and Haruka craned his neck a little so that he could see Makoto's shoulders properly. They were moving up and down in a stuttering movement and Haruka pressed a soft kiss on the top of Makoto's head, indicating that he was still here if Makoto wanted to talk.
"I'm sorry," Makoto whispered softly and Haruka just listened to Makoto's apology, not knowing how to react properly. What could he say? That everything was okay and that Makoto shouldn't worry that much? Would he say that he felt hurt by the way that Makoto was behaving ever since the fire? Haruka honestly didn't know how to respond verbally and all he could think of was to kiss Makoto's tears away. However, as much as Haruka longed to take Makoto's sadness away, he was also afraid to move. The slightest movement might break the contact between their bodies and Haruka needed to feel Makoto close. Makoto's sobbing became louder and Haruka gently pushed Makoto on his back while still firmly pressing his own body against Makoto's. Haruka softly pressed his lips against Makoto's tear-stained cheeks and he kissed every tear away that escaped from those pools of emerald. Makoto's sobbing lessened with every kiss he received from Haruka and it didn't take long for the sobbing to die out completely. Haruka just gazed at Makoto lovingly and the olive-haired male pulled Haruka completely on top of him, loving the feel of skin against skin. Haruka sighed contently as his head rested on Makoto's chest. Haruka let himself be lulled to sleep by the steady beating of Makoto's heart.
"Haru?"
"Hmm?"
"Can I stay the night?"
Haruka never answered Makoto's question because he had already dozed off. Makoto smiled a very tiny smile as he wrapped his arms around Haruka's back, content to bask in the heat of Haruka's body.
Makoto's body felt like it was on fire when he sat up in Haruka's bed. The heat was stifling and he desperately searched for a way to cool down. His whole body was drenched in sweat and Makoto's eyes tried their best to get used to the darkness. With shaking hands, Makoto patted along the sheets of the bed until he found the sleeping form of Haruka next to him. The presence of the raven-haired male was comforting and Makoto tried to even out his breathing and calm down. The nightmare felt so real and it instantly reminded him of the possibility of losing two people who meant so much to him. Makoto crawled out of the bed and tiptoed his way to the door. He was glad that his compulsive shaking and panting hadn't woken Haruka up. Makoto lingered in the doorway, contemplating his options. He desperately needed to cool off but he didn't want to leave Haruka behind because what if Makoto returned only to find that Haruka was gone? Makoto worried at his lower lip and quickly paced downstairs for a cool glass of water. He gulped down the contents as quickly as he could before getting another refill. The refreshing water slid down his throat and it cooled his body down considerably. His skin still felt rather heated but at least the sweating had stopped.
"Makoto?" a raspy voice echoed through the kitchen and Makoto turned around to see Haruka standing in the kitchen, yawning loudly while rubbing his sleepy blue eyes.
"Sorry I woke you," Makoto muttered, placing the glass into the sink.
"Is something wrong?" Haruka asked, as he blinked a few times, trying to get used to the harsh light of the kitchen.
Makoto wanted to say that everything was wrong, or at least that was how it felt to him. It was wrong that he couldn't really remember the feeling of loving someone with his entire heart. It was wrong that he didn't feel the need to be close and passionate with someone. It was wrong that earlier today, all he really wanted was to get away from Haruka. It was wrong that he only felt alive when he felt his heart pound and his blood rush at an incredible speed. It was like he was afraid of slow moments because if he let his guard down for one measly minute, everything could be taken from him. It was wrong that he couldn't explain how he truly felt when his mind reminded him of the prospect of losing someone. Makoto wanted to explain so many things but he couldn't find the words to express himself. Makoto closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. When his gaze met Haruka's, something inside snapped and before Makoto realised it, he was kissing Haruka with a deep and burning passion, desperate to feel that Haruka was still there. Haruka didn't know what hit him when Makoto's lips moved against his own, Makoto's tongue urgently pushing until he gained entrance. Makoto was kissing Haruka feverishly, like it was the only thing that kept him alive at the moment. Haruka wrapped his arms around Makoto's neck and the olive-haired male easily lifted him and carried him over to the couch. Makoto's hands roamed over Haruka's skin, heating his entire body with those warm and needy touches. The more Makoto touched Haruka's skin, the more he needed him. With Makoto on top of him, Haruka accepted every kiss that Makoto gave him… and the many that followed. Makoto would kiss him, then lift his head slightly and change the angle a little, sometimes brushing his nose against Haruka's in a loving caress. The soft brushes of Makoto's nose were nothing like the feverishly hunger he kissed Haruka with. Emerald eyes were cracked open, watching Haruka, studying his face with little flickering glances as Makoto kissed Haruka again and again.
Haruka wavered between letting his eyes fall just in absolute bliss and cracking them open over and over again, just to watch Makoto's mouth, hypnotized by every advance and retreat of shiny and wet lips. Haruka also tried to gauge Makoto's mood, it was clear that Makoto's body burned with passion but Haruka wanted to know what had ignited that need.
Just when Haruka decided to let go and just give Makoto full control, Haruka felt Makoto's hands slide over his chest. The caress was firm, groping and rubbing and Haruka instantly arched into the touch, wanting and needing more. With a tiny moan, Makoto pressed his lips against Haruka's again, tongue probing deeper again, swirling inside Haruka's mouth. Haruka couldn't help as a small groan bubbled up from his throat, his own tongue pressing hard against Makoto's. Makoto's hands slid down and Haruka bucked against Makoto's hands as they caressed the growing bulge in Haruka's pants. Haruka should probably know better than to let Makoto do this when he wasn't sure of his feelings but Haruka needed this. He needed to feel Makoto close and he didn't care about the possible consequences. At least, Haruka would really love Makoto while doing it. Makoto continued pressing and rubbing Haruka's growing erection and the raven-haired male rapidly lost control of what was happening. All day long, Haruka had looked at Makoto and felt like he didn't really know the Makoto that had dragged him through the amusement park but when Haruka looked into Makoto's sparkling and hazy eyes now it made him forget all of that. It didn't matter that this Makoto was broken on the inside, it was still his Makoto and nothing else mattered.
Haruka lifted his head and placed hot and open-mouthed kisses against Makoto's neck, making the olive-haired male close his eyes and moan loudly. Haruka knew every sensitive spot on Makoto's body and he was determined to make Makoto drown in pleasure. Haruka pushed Makoto on his back and he resumed kissing Makoto's neck, drawing sweet sounds from Makoto's mouth. Makoto's hands softly traced over Haruka's back, making the boy shiver at the touch. Haruka's kisses became softer and more loving, making the pace slow down considerably. Makoto may have felt the need to let things advance as fast as possible, but that was not what Haruka wanted. He wanted to take his time in loving Makoto and he was glad that Makoto was letting him. Makoto's touches followed Haruka's example, his fingertips barely touched Haruka's sides, covering Haruka's skin with goose bumps. Haruka trailed kisses lower, placing feather-lights kisses all over Makoto's chest. Haruka nipped at Makoto's navel and lightly dipped his tongue into the small hole, making Makoto writhe with pleasure.
Haruka's hands brushed over the impressive bulge in Makoto's shorts and he hooked his fingers into the waistband to pull Makoto's shorts and boxers down. Haruka's slender fingers closed around Makoto's length, giving his boyfriend a few slow and long strokes. Broken moans echoed through the living room as Haruka lowered his head and licked at the tip of Makoto's length, making Makoto arch his back in pleasure. Haruka continued working his mouth and tongue over Makoto's cock, relishing the sweet sounds that spilled over Makoto's lips. Haruka released Makoto and quickly wetted his fingers before straddling Makoto's lap and Makoto's hands instantly reached out, pulling Haruka down. Their lips clashed and the kiss was nothing short of violent. Makoto couldn't help it, he needed to make sure Haruka was still there, he needed to feel Haruka's heat against his body. Makoto softly ran his tongue along Haruka's bottom lip and Haruka couldn't help but slide his hand under his shorts to start preparing himself. He wanted Makoto completely and a gasp rolled over his lips as he slipped a finger inside. Makoto sat up a little and placed hot and desperate kisses along Haruka's neck, sucking harshly next to Haruka's Adam's apple. Haruka's breath was hot against Makoto's face as Makoto pressed their foreheads together. Makoto could do nothing but gaze into Haruka's lust-filled eyes, feeling himself drown into those endless pools of blue.
"Love me," Haruka whispered, his whisper sounding desperate and broken at the same time. Makoto gasped at Haruka's words, they echoed through his mind, making his body release the burning passion but replacing it with something different, something that made his head spin and his heart flutter and beat erratically. Makoto gently laid Haruka back down on the couch, pressing his forehead against Haruka's as he gently eased himself into the raven-haired male. Haruka gasped at the intrusion, the slight burn running through his body. Small tears started to spill from Haruka's eyes and Makoto wiped them away with his thumb. Haruka wasn't crying because of the pain, he was crying because he was as close to Makoto as possible. It was a feeling that Haruka could get never grow tired off, it was what made him feel alive…
Makoto's thrusts were slow and soft, yet they made Haruka's body sing with pleasure. The tears had long stopped spilling but if there was another one that still managed to make his way out, Makoto kissed it away. In fact, Makoto kept peppering Haruka's face with feather-light kisses as he kept up his steady thrusting. Haruka's eyes were closed in bliss, letting Makoto love him completely. They continued rocking together, sharing the sweetest of kisses before they both found their release, their moans echoing through the silent living-room. Makoto collapsed on top of Haruka who just cradled him into his arms. Haruka pressed a soft kiss against Makoto's sweaty brow. Neither of them said anything for a while, still holding onto that wonderful feeling that lingered between the two of them. Makoto tilted his head and gazed into Haruka's eyes, swiping away a sweaty strand of inky black hair from Haruka's forehead.
A loud gasp bounced off the walls as Haruka realised what Makoto had just whispered into his ear.
"I love you."
I need you, I need you
Like the summer needs the sun
The more I touch your skin, the more I need you
A/N: First of all, I really hope you enjoyed this chapter! I cannot promise another update during the week because my work is killing me. I feel like I see my school more at night than I see it during the day! I wish I had more time to write but I really don't :(
I'm not entirely sure whether this was a good update or not, but it's all I have to offer at the moment! Sorry!
Lots of love!