Setting Me free

Haruka lay awake in the dark, his eyes focused on the ceiling of his bedroom. Makoto had instantly fallen asleep after they made love but sleep seemed far away for Haruka. He had rolled around in the bed countless times cursing under his breath. He even tried to imagine cute and fluffy sheep to count but nothing seemed to work. The clock ticked on and with every passing second, Haruka became more restless. It's not that he really needed to get up in the morning, but it seemed that his body was simply too tired to fall asleep. Not even Makoto's soft breathing accompanied by the occasional grunt was soothing enough to lull Haruka into a deep slumber.

Tick tick tick

Haruka groaned and rolled around again, his head firmly pressed against his pillow. He just knew he was going crazy since he could obviously hear the seconds ticking away now. Haruka gazed at the sleeping face of Makoto and a small smile tugged at his lips. Makoto looked so peaceful, finally able to sleep without nightmares plaguing his mind. Haruka had known it was hard on Makoto, in fact the whole experience at the movie theatre was hard for all of them.

Tick tick tick

"Oh fuck off," Haruka grumbled, slipping his head under his pillow, hoping that somehow he would stop hearing the seconds pass away. The ticking subsided but only for about half a minute.

Tick tick tick

Haruka wondered if he was going to have mental break-down in less than five minutes. He firmly grabbed the pillow with his hands and placed it over his ears, hoping to drown out any noise. Haruka wasn't exactly someone who slept deeply and if there was even the slightest noise, he would wake up or in this case, not fall asleep. He knew that their intense love-making session had taken up quite a bit of the night already but it was only half past four in the morning now and Haruka was desperate for some sleep.

Tick tick tick

Haruka fought the urge to scream and he threw the pillow back, sitting up in the bed. He was glad that none of his stirring or cursing had woken Makoto up. He would honestly feel bad for waking up that beautiful angel. Haruka rubbed at his sleep-deprived eyes and let his gaze flit across the room, purposefully ignoring the clock on his bedside table. If he wasn't going to get any sleep, he may as well get up and do something productive. Haruka was thinking of some kind of activity when the ticking recommenced again.

Tick tick tick

Haruka's mind finally kicked into action and the raven-haired male slipped out of his bed and made it over to his window. Seconds ticking away my ass, Haruka thought bitterly. He shoved the curtains aside and opened the window, cool air immediately brushing past him into the room. Haruka quickly glanced at the sleeping lump in his bed, breathing out a sigh of relief when it seemed that Makoto was still oblivious to everything. Haruka chuckled and turned his attention towards his window, peeking over the edge of his windowsill.

"Took you fucking long enough!" Rin hissed but the redhead couldn't help but let a smirk adorn his gorgeous face.

"What are you doing here?" Haruka asked with a small smile, leaning over the edge to get a better view of the redhead. Haruka should have been more apprehensive about the fact that Rin stood under his window, but somehow, the redhead made Haruka feel a lot better.

"I couldn't fall asleep," Rin muttered as he shrugged his shoulders. The light of the moon was softly illuminating Rin's features and Haruka couldn't help but gaze into those sparkling crimson eyes. If he had to admit, he slightly missed having Rin close. Not that Makoto wasn't enough but there were so many unfinished things between them and they weighed Haruka down. They clearly needed to discuss what kind of relationship they would have with each other.

"Me neither," Haruka answered back as he propped his head up with his hands.

"Is Makoto with you?" Rin asked while shoving his hands in the pockets of his pants.

"Yeah, want to come inside?"

"Fuck yes."

Haruka tiptoed out of his bedroom, to wander downstairs. When Haruka opened the front door, Rin leaned against the wall lazily, his smirk ever present on his face.

"So, why can't you sleep?" Rin asked as he walked past Haruka to head for the living room. Haruka shrugged, not really having an answer for the redhead's question. Why couldn't he fall asleep? To Haruka, it didn't even make sense because he had everything he could ever want right by his side. Makoto seemed to have made a lot of progress and their passion had sparked brightly just a few hours ago. If all, Haruka should have felt so sated that sleep was inevitable.

"Don't really know," Haruka muttered as he took a seat next to Rin. The redhead glanced at him, brows furrowed wondering if Haruka just didn't want to tell him the truth.

"So how is Makoto?" Another soft question that echoed through the silent living room.

"Fine I guess, he's still a little shaken but he's acting like his old self more and more," Haruka added with a small smile. He loved the fact that he was the one to bring Makoto back to the wonderful person he used to be. The kind of person everyone should have in his life, the kind of person that makes life worth living.

"I see," Rin added ruefully. He was glad that Makoto was heading in the right direction. However, Rin couldn't help but wonder where he stood in all of this. He had brought a lot of misery to Makoto's and Haruka's relationship but he couldn't help but think that he also brought along some good things. The things they shared had been wonderful and Rin wondered if he had the right to bring those things up. Would he be allowed to ask where he stood, would he still be allowed to be close to them? The redhead had kept those thoughts to himself, carefully giving Haruka and Makoto the space they needed but wasn't it time for discussion and possibly heartbreak? He knew that if they didn't want to have him around anymore, he would diligently respect their wishes. He cared too much for both of them to try and tear them apart. He may not have put Haruka and Makoto on the first place in the past, but he certainly did that now. He would deal with his own heartbreak and misery if it meant that Haruka and Makoto could live a happy life. He would even stick by their side as a friend if that was what they both wanted.

"Something wrong?" Haruka's question brought Rin back to the present and the redhead just shook his head. Now was not the right time for discussion…

"You're lying Rin," Haruka muttered and he turned his head to stare at the redhead. Rin briefly caught Haruka's gaze but he quickly turned his eyes away, like he could ever win a staring contest with Haruka.

"It's fine really, say, shall we check whether there's something on the TV?" Rin asked casually, locking his hands behind his head to slump against the couch.

"Tsk, fine," Haruka was reluctant to let it go but experience thought him that if Rin didn't want to talk, it was better to leave him alone. It's not that Rin became violent but his would start throwing around snarky remarks and Haruka was not in the mood for those. Haruka tossed the remote towards Rin and then settled himself properly. Haruka's legs were sprawled over Rin's lap as Haruka lay his head against the redhead's shoulder. Haruka could care less what Rin was watching, all Haruka cared for was the warmth that Rin's body was emitting. It was enough to make Haruka's eyes droop and the last thing he saw was Rin's face smiling softly down upon him.

Makoto rolled to his side, his hands immediately reaching out to the spot next to him. The spot was cold and Makoto slowly opened his eyes. It seemed that his hands hadn't been deceiving him, Haruka was nowhere near him. Makoto frowned and his eyes closed once more, only to reopen seconds later. Makoto had hoped to wake up next to Haruka, next to the one who brought him the salvation he was seeking for. Haruka had slowly showed him what it was like to be loved and to return that same kind of love. It had been a hard and bumpy travel, but Makoto finally felt like everything would turn out okay again. He slipped out of the bed, quickly tugging on his shorts again. He walked out of the bedroom and was surprised to hear soft murmuring coming from downstairs. Several voices that Makoto didn't recognise were travelling through the house and Makoto tilted his head sideways, trying to figure out where those voices were coming from. He shook his head and sighed deeply, Haruka was probably watching the TV, preferably some kind of film or documentary that showed life under the sea. Makoto chuckled, Haruka could be so undeniably cute sometimes. When he reached the living room, the sight he saw was not the sight he thought he would find. Haruka's head was firmly pressed against Rin's shoulder and the redhead rested his head against Haruka's. Their limbs were slightly tangled and Makoto could faintly make out some soft snoring sounds. Makoto wondered how he should feel about this sight. Should he feel jealous? Appalled? Afraid? Angry? Upset? Outraged?

All Makoto could think about was the fact that Haruka apparently sought out Rin's warmth to fall asleep. The sight was unnerving yet slightly familiar and it pained Makoto that he couldn't form a clear opinion. Makoto made his way over to the sleeping pair and he pried away the remote from Rin's hand. Makoto shut off the TV and the room was instantly devoured by a crippling silence that was broken with every snore that bubbled up from Rin's throat. Makoto sighed deeply and carefully sat down on the floor in front of the couch. He placed his chin on Rin's thigh and he let his eyes fall shut again, his drowsiness taking the better of him.

A stifling heat made Rin crack open his crimson eyes sleepily. He looked around and instantly found where the heat was coming from. Haruka was sprawled half on top of him and it didn't take him long to figure out that Makoto also had one of his arms wrapped around Rin's waist. The redhead blinked a few times and stirred on the couch, trying to untangle himself from Haruka and Makoto. Not that he minded having them close, he just really needed some distance. He didn't want to get too attached to them again because then the pain of having to part would only grow stronger. Makoto was the first to wake up because of Rin's stirring and Haruka followed soon after, they both watched Rin with wary and sleepy eyes. The redhead shrugged and the question slipped past his lips before he could stop it.

"So, where do we go from here?"

I saw it all fall down, our world just hit the ground.

We had to go, break away but maybe there is a future out that way…