Disclaimer: I own nothing but my idea. I wish I owned the sexy beast that is Draco Malfoy (:

Ch. 8

My head ached as I slammed the snooze button on my alarm clock. 'Just a few more minutes, it won't do any harm', I promised myself. A few moments later my eyes shot open on their own accord.

'So much for those few extra minutes'.

I had never been able to control my sleep, not once. If my body decided that it was done resting, it was done, end of discussion. My brain had nothing to do with it. I groaned, and sat up. It's not like I had been able to get a good night's rest anyways. My brain had been clouded with thoughts of him all night, just as it had done the night before that, and before that, and before that….

What was wrong with me? Was I sick? Mentally unstable perhaps? I wondered. Even in the few short times I had managed to fall into a slumber, I would wake suddenly, moaning his name until I couldn't breathe. My dreams varied on certain occasions, but usually it was always the same one, sometimes even repeating more than once in the same time. Draco would always end up grabbing me somehow, and then he would…..well. Yeah. Other times I had dreamed about him, it always ended abruptly, and felt as if someone had been trying to suffocate me with a pillow. A few times, I'd even thought I was going to die. And sometimes, I would even wake up in tears. They scared me, these dreams. They made him seem scary to me. I walked into the bathroom and stared at myself in the bathroom mirror, taking in my haphazard hair and pajamas, and the bags under my eyes. I sighed.

vvvvvvv

After breakfast with Harry, Ginny, and Ron, Ron was still the only one that could talk to me without a dry edge to his words. I also knew that as long as Harry was upset, Ginny would be too. I swear, sometimes it was as if they shared one's personal amount of feelings. Breakfast had been interesting enough, but trying to walk to class with all of them was even more awkward. While I would try to talk with Ron at times, since I could only stick by his side, he had gotten so used to including the other two in our conversations that it just seemed weird, and our conversation would die out when Harry or Ginny would reply only to Ron. It hurt, but I didn't blame them. The source of the blame hadn't even bothered to show up for breakfast today.

Not that I'd noticed…..of course not.

As we all shuffled into Charms class, he was still nowhere to be seen.

'Good riddens to him then', I thought to myself, happy that his disappearance would prove to make an easier day for me.

Imagine my surprise when I found that he was already inside, waiting resignedly by Flitwick's desk.

My conscience quickly stamped on the small flitting joy inside of me when I realized that I would have to pass him to reach my seat. It would seem too awkward if I didn't. Everyone was in the front of the room, in a line, and it would seem too awkward if I crossed my way around to the back of the room, then to the middle corner where my desk was located. Very awkward indeed. I sucked in my pride and did it. I walked passed him, and I could feel his eyes on me as I cursed him for keeping me up at night, among other things. Finally, I made it to my desk which I shared with Ron, and sat down quickly, busying myself by preparing my parchment and quill for the lesson today. I usually sat with Harry which I enjoyed because he always passed me funny notes in class, but given the situation between us right now, he had decided to sit at the desk to my right with Neville, whom he got quite annoyed with when it came to being his class partner, but they were friends nonetheless.

'Well isn't that saying something', I thought to myself gloomily. I then realized that Malfoy's eyes were still on me, and that I was sandwiched between Ron on the left, and Harry on the right.

I chose to call it Triangle of Doom. Because what was better than being surrounded by two wary friends and a boy that had an inexplicable hold on you?

Flitwick then cleared his throat, and people went quiet. The class had commenced. Malfoy was still at the front of the room.

"Today all you will need for class is a few bits of parchment and a ready quill, for we will be taking notes on the formidable charms of the northwest. But before we begin, I believe Mr. Malfoy has something quite marvelous to share with you!" he said proudly, before clapping his hands and pushing Malfoy towards the class as he rolled his eyes unenthusiastically. After a few polite claps, and a cough, the class went quiet as he pulled a piece or parchment out of his robes. He paused for a moment, cautiously, before beginning.

"I can't. I can't stop thinking about it, and every time I try it gets predictably worse. It's not that I don't want to stop, but although there is no explanation as to why, I cannot willfully bring myself to put it out of my head, to put her out of my head."

He paused for a moment, and I held my breath. Then, out there for everyone to see, he looked straight at me, blatantly. Quite unashamed, he continued, balling up the paper in his hand. It took everything within me to look away, but I couldn't. I was locked, and all I could see in front of me were clear grey-blue eyes against a pale face, and blond hair. I couldn't even remember how to blink.

"I cannot see why she, this girl of which nothing but a surge of something strong that I can't bear to figure out, has quite an interesting hold on me. This isn't something normal, or ordinary, or even something without purpose. I can't bring myself to even admit that what I feel isn't…..not wanted. I'm confused. And even Merlin would be. The feel of her in my arms is unable to be registered as pain or pleasure, and kissing her makes me feel as if I need to know all the things there are to know in the world. I'm not one for playing games, but this one I have been playing. She makes me feel like a toy puppet with broken strings. I feel controlled. I feel her in my dreams, on my lips and on my hands. I…I feel her. I didn't ask for this. "

He swallowed, and the room was so quiet that you could hear it. It was so quiet you could hear a quill drop. He was still looking at me with something in his eyes that I couldn't quite decipher, and so was every single other being in the room. Abruptly, in a flurry of noise that interrupted us all, Pansy stood up from her seat squealing, gushing like an obscene fan girl and clapping so much it hurt my ears. He smirked.

"Oh Draco! That was wonderful! You're so amazing and deep! Did you all see that! That's my Draco!" She exclaimed happily and excitedly, before Flitwick sent her a glare that put her back, quietly, in her seat.

Blaise snorted.

While some people clapped, Draco made it back to his seat, smirking at me before he sat down. My eyes shot down to my lap, and I felt a blush spread from my cheeks to my ears, neck and chest. After his sharing, class continued, and I didn't dare look at anything but my notes or lap the whole entire time. I couldn't bear to look at Ron, who shared my desk with me, or at Harry, whom I already knew had a cold stony look on his face the whole time. I could see Draco's blond head to the not so far away upper right out of the corner of my eye, facing the board thank God. Not long after, class had ended after what seemed like hours, and I hurriedly gathered my belongings and began to shuffle out of class. I was just reaching the end of an empty corridor when I saw Ron slam Malfoy hard into a wall ahead of me, his head almost hitting a lamppost. He pinned his arm against Malfoy's throat.

"What were you playing at ferret?" he said angrily, adding more pressure to his throat. A blue vein showed brightly against his fair skin. "Who do you think you are, saying those things about Hermione? Don't you dare try to make it seem like it wasn't about her, I'm not stupid. Why don't you just leave her alone! She's been beating herself up about it ever since you took advantage of her. She's been a mess because of you. You'd better leave her alone, before you regret it. I don't let people step all over my friends." he hissed. Malfoy sneered, not seeming at all scared of the position he was in. But I was.

"Ron!" I cried out. No one paid me any attention.

"You wouldn't understand, so why stick your head in other people's business?" He replied callously, his hand keeping a certain pressure from Ron's hand against his throat. "And on the contrary, she was quite willing when we were in the bathroom. I might've kissed her first, but she sure as hell didn't protest. I would've hexed her if she hadn't thrown her arms around me first."

I gasped as Ron's face turned puce with anger. He didn't need to know all that. I didn't want to hurt him anymore than I already had. Even though he was angry, I could see the hurt in his eyes.

"Why you ungrateful little-"

"Stop."

Ron's fist was past halfway near to colliding with Draco's face when Harry had suddenly appeared out of nowhere, walking past me and towards the two boys. He whispered something to Ron, and all the anger suddenly went out of him. Draco took this opportunity to shove Ron away from him.

"Come to join in on the festivities Potter?" he spat out venomously, drawing his wand. Ron went to lunge again.

"No!" I yelled, running up and placing myself between Malfoy, Ron and Harry. "You I have to stop this. I won't let you fight. I …. I – "

"Don't worry Hermione, we weren't going to", Harry said rather irritably, "I was only stopping Ron here from punching Malfoy's teeth out." I met eyes with Ron, and he looked at me shamefully.

"Take this as a warning. I don't have tolerance for you, or your stupid friend Weasley. You should learn to control your anger. Next time I won't hesitate to curse you back to that hovel you call a home. Remember that." Draco's voice said darkly from behind me. I could feel his breath on my neck.

Harry glared at him spitefully before pulling Ron to his side. He lessened his glare when he came to me, but it was still there, hiding in the back of his eyes.

"I'll expect you take care of that.", before he walked away from me, dragging Ron with him. I had realized he had meant Malfoy. Take care of Malfoy? What was I supposed to do? It made me angrier that Harry had had the audacity to call me out in front of him. Was he even my friend anymore? My eyes brimmed with tears as I faced Malfoy. I tried my best to glare at him. He returned it bitterly.

"Well? I hope you're happy." was all I could manage to choke out.

"Happy?" he nearly spat out, as if he didn't know what that was. "I just got my head slammed against a stone wall by your stupid Weasel friend trying to defend your honor-"

"Friend?" I laughed aloud. "What friend? After this? I have no friends. Not anymore."

He smirked at the silence between us, and the tears nearly spilled out of my eyes.

"Welcome to my world."

"I don't want to be a part of your world!"

"It's a saying, Granger."

"Will you just shut up!" I nearly screamed at him, my voice shrilled, "Why must you ruin everything! First in the bathroom, then in The Great Hall, then Charms class, now here! Why can't you just leave me alone?"

He laughed. He fucking laughed, snickered, in my face.

"I hate you." I whispered as a tear crept down my cheek. His laughing came to a halt, and there was nothing but a somber silence between us. I looked at him through my lashes and he was staring at me fiercely, almost as if…..

…almost as if I had hurt him.

He laughed again, but it was a hoarse, sad, empty one. "Do you really? I wouldn't blame you if you did, to be honest. I have enough trouble trying not to hate me myself. It's not as if I had meant for all of this to happen, for you to lose your friends trust and for us to…" he paused for a moment, trying to find his words. "To end up in this situation that none of us asked for. But if you really hated me, hated me to my core, then why would you come at me like you did in the bathroom Granger? You could've left before I saw you. If anything it's your fault for making yourself visible. If you hadn't….maybe we wouldn't have to be stuck in limbo like this. If anything, at least have the decency to take some of the blame upon yourself. You don't hate me. If you did you would've let me suffer." he finished, still staring at me with a look in his eyes that I couldn't quite decipher.

I was at loss for words. He was right. I didn't hate him. I wanted to, but couldn't, no matter how hard I tried. It was something unbelievably hard to explain. Somehow there were parts of him that I actually admired…..somehow. I then realized he was trying to ease his way past me. I stepped to the side slightly, embarrassed that I had practically cornered him. He picked up his fallen bag and began to head for the stairs. I felt I should say something.

"Mal…Draco?" I said timidly as he began to make his way up. He turned his head toward me lazily, with a mischievous grin upon his face.

"Yes? And also, you have quite a thing for my given name don't you?" he said smiling knowingly. I ignored his slightly snide comment.

"You're right." I said quietly. "I don't hate you. But that doesn't mean I quite like you either. Don't get any ideas." He laughed again.

"I already knew that Granger. And no need to tell me what to do either. I'm a big boy." He smiled slightly at me again, with that little look in his eyes, and with that, descended up the stairs, leaving me alone in the empty corridor. I bit my lip, hard.

That boy smiled with his eyes, I realized.

…...

Wow that was pretty long for me huh? So it's one in the morning, but I could help but write this! I hope you guys enjoyed every minute it! Please review and tell me how you're feeling about this story so far, and don't be afraid to give me some good old constructive criticism! Their like rainbows and sprinkles for an author! Love you all!