Escape and Love

It was just one sentence and yet it held so much meaning. Where do we go from here? It would seem like a fairly simple question and yet none of them knew the exact answer. There were so many possibilities but was there really one solution that would soothe them all or would there be heartbreak?

Makoto blinked at Rin and Haruka who seemed to look for the answer on Makoto's face. It made him feel rather uncomfortable so Makoto was quick to cast his gaze down. Why were they looking at him like that? How was he supposed to know the answer? He had been through so much lately and it had been a huge step to trust Haruka again and perhaps even love him once more. How did they expect him to answer Rin's question? Makoto wasn't even sure how he felt about Haruka, how would he be able to distinguish his own feelings towards the redhead then?

Makoto worried at his lip, his gaze still firmly fixed on the floor. He didn't dare to look up because he knew both Haruka and Rin were looking at him. In the past, Makoto had always been the one to make important decisions and for once he wished someone else would take responsibility. Makoto knew they have done some crazy things a few weeks back and he didn't really think them through, he just went with it. When Haruka asked him to love Rin, he did without really contemplating how difficult the future would become. Makoto could've never anticipated what happened at the movie theatre but right now, they were here and none of them dared to say another word. Rin looked at Makoto expectantly, just like he used to do because Makoto has always been the strong and smart one. Haruka also looked at Makoto but his look was filled with fear and doubt because what if Makoto only wanted to be with Rin?

Makoto let his eyes flutter closed while trying to sort out his thoughts. He knew he wasn't sure how he felt and the guilt that crept along his spine was nerve-wracking. It wasn't fair to either Rin or Haruka that his feelings were still a mystery to him. Perhaps it was better to force Haruka and Rin into a relationship, maybe they were able to make each other happy. The only thing Makoto really wanted was to see Haruka and Rin happy. To see them smile and laugh without a care in the world. Seeing Haruka smile was one of the most beautiful things in the world and Makoto would give anything to see that smile right now. However, what would he do when Haruka and Rin were in a relationship, would he be able to support them? Wouldn't he feel jealous? Makoto was making himself crazy with doubt and the whirlwind of questions made him feel dizzy.

"Makoto?" Haruka's soft plea droned hard in Makoto's ears. Was now a good time to look into Haruka's desperate eyes? Makoto inhaled a deep breath as he looked up. The moment his green gaze clashed with Haruka's sapphire one left him feeling like he was choking. Haruka's eyes were so unbelievably soft yet they looked so desperate and pleading. Makoto wished he had all the answers Rin and Haruka were seeking for but no matter how hard he wished, he didn't have the right answers. He didn't have a solution for their problem and he certainly had no clue as to where they were supposed to be headed with this relationship.

"Yeah Haru?" Makoto managed to reply but as soon as the words streamed from Makoto's mouth, Haruka's eyes widened with fear. Makoto knew it wasn't fair to make Haruka explain himself but what they were doing wasn't exactly fair either. Haruka and Rin were just dumping the weight of the world on Makoto's shoulders and he didn't want to carry that on his own. Why were they looking at him for answers? Why did he have to make decisions? Why were they trying to make him explain his feelings before they did so as well?

"Well?" Rin prompted suddenly and Makoto just couldn't take it anymore. He rose gently, using the coffee table behind his back to support himself.

"Why me?" Makoto asked with a raised voice. He knew that raising his voice was getting them nowhere but he couldn't control himself anymore. He was sick of people depending on him to make the right moves, why wasn't he allowed to just follow someone's lead for once?

"What do you mean?" Rin asked, clearly not intimidated to engage the discussion with Makoto. Haruka had pulled his knees up to his chest by now, looking at Makoto with wide and cautious eyes. He hadn't seen Makoto behave like this very often and the sight always left Haruka feeling very uncomfortable. It was so far from Makoto's usual demeanour and Haruka couldn't help but feel as if everything was his fault.

"I mean, why do you two look at me like that? Why do I have to explain my feelings first?" Makoto bristled and Rin stood up as well, his chest pressing against Makoto's, ready to use force if he needed to. Rin had always been a hothead who has never been afraid to use physical force if he needed to. Not that he wanted to hit Makoto but he didn't want Makoto to yell and become upset. Rin knew exactly why he got up, he wanted to protect Haruka. In the back of his mind, he knew that Haruka didn't have that a lot of experience when Makoto lost his temper because it rarely happened when Haruka was around. Rin however, had his fair share of dealing with an ill-tempered Makoto.

"Why can't you understand that I want to know where we are heading?" Rin spat back and Makoto crinkled his nose in disdain, trying to brush off Rin's question. It's not that he didn't want to know the answer as well, he just didn't want to be responsible.

"I understand but why do I have to make that decision?" Makoto's voice rung loudly in the room and Haruka bit down on his bottom lip, drawing a bit of blood that slowly trickled down his chin. He never asked for Makoto and Rin to start fighting, he never asked for any of this. All Haruka wanted was to love and be loved in return.

"No one said you had to make decisions!" Rin's voice had also raised a few octaves and the more he looked into Makoto's eyes, the more he felt like hitting him. Makoto didn't have the right to become so upset, Rin's question had been a natural one because who wouldn't want to know where he stood?

"You both were looking at me like I know everything," Makoto's voice developed an acid undertone and it was making Rin reel with fury. The longing to just smack Makoto in the face was fiercely tugging at him and Rin knew that if Makoto didn't stop this stupid discussion soon, he would lose his control.

"We don't expect you to fix everything Makoto," Rin try to reply with a calm voice even if his heart was pounding louder and faster than ever before. His blood was gushing through his veins and his was teetering on the edge of self-control.

"Fine, how about you fix it then," Makoto's voice had not calmed one bit and Rin sunk his teeth into his bottom lip to prevent him from lashing out.

"How about we all try to fix it." Haruka's soft voice suddenly filled Makoto's and Rin's ears and both of them looked at the miserable lump on the couch. Haruka hated arguments and he never wanted to take part in them but the useless bickering between Makoto and Rin had gotten under his skin. He didn't feel the same fury as Makoto and Rin, all he felt was sadness. Haruka couldn't stand arguing and the only thing he could try was to calm Makoto and Rin down.

"So fix it then," Makoto replied while crossing his arms in front of his chest. He was ready to listen and follow what they were going to say.

"I meant the three of us Makoto, not just me and Rin."

"You know what? I don't want to see either of you right now, I don't want to be a part of this." Makoto's words were final and they made Haruka's heart shatter. All Haruka could do was watch how Makoto left the room. As the front door slammed shat, salty and warm tears streamed down Haruka's cheeks. He hadn't expected Makoto to run away because running away never solves anything.

Haruka jumped up and bolted towards the front door. When he gazed outside, he could see Makoto descend the stone steps. Without thinking twice, Haruka ran after him, descending two steps at the same time, almost making him trip.

Makoto sensed Haruka behind him and he stopped in the middle of the stone steps. He kept his gaze forward as he felt arms wrap around him. Haruka stood on his tiptoes to nuzzle his nose against Makoto's neck.

"I need you Makoto, please don't leave me," Haruka whispered softly while the stream of tears continued to flow steadily. Makoto said nothing, he just kept staring ahead, pretending that Haruka's embrace didn't meant anything.

"Please don't be angry with me," another whisper was carried by the wind and Makoto tilted his head only slightly to catch a glimpse of jet-black hair.

"I'm not upset," Makoto replied and Haruka shifted his arms to place his hands on top of Makoto's shoulders.

"If you're not upset, then turn around please." Haruka's plea was soft and his hands shifted so they could rest on top of Makoto's stomach. Makoto placed on hand on top of Haruka's and he titled his head a little more, his head barely resting against Haruka's.

"Whenever you call my name, I'll come to you," Makoto promised and he let go of Haruka to turn around. Makoto's gaze locked with Haruka's and Haruka could see the promise in Makoto's emerald gems. Haruka wanted nothing more than to feel Makoto's soft lips against his own but he was afraid to iniate that kind of intimate contact. What if he scared Makoto away again with his neediness?

Makoto lowered his head and softly pressed his lips against Haruka's as he let his hands travel to rest them on the small of Haruka's back. Haruka let his eyes flutter closed as the warm sensation of having Makoto close spread through his body…

No matter how hard I run or hide, I can never escape your love.

A/N: I know it's been two weeks since the last update and I'm sorry for that. I've been having a lot of health difficulties which left be unable to write. I'm still not entirely better so I cannot promise a quick update! I'm so sorry about that!

I do hope you enjoyed and thank you for reading and sticking by this story!

Lots of love!