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Ch. 11

Waking up the next morning had been a task on its own, not to mention showering, eating, and then getting dressed. My back still ached, I had a few scratches here and there, and the fingers of my right hand refused to cooperate with me. I sighed. Why had I let this happen? Couldn't I have just stayed silently in the tree? He would've left eventually and then none of this would have ever happened. I wouldn't be in pain, I wouldn't have to think about this, and I certainly wouldn't have kissed him –

But then again that was another problem on its own as well. It was obvious that there was nothing going on between us, I knew Merlin wouldn't let that happen but…...every time I looked at him, I couldn't help but feel an undeniable draw between us. And maybe I wasn't the only one. Trying to think of something happy, I remembered that today we were allowed into Hogsmeade, and that Ginny, Ron and I were going to go have some fun at The Three Broomsticks, and buy quite a few sweets from Honeydukes. I smiled, but it dropped as I thought of Harry. Of course he would be in attendance, but I hardly doubt he would even bother to speak to me and –

Wow. Shit. Did I even have any friends left? I crossed that plan out of my head, the whole thing, entirely. I had nearly forgotten that Harry and Ron had seen me being carried to The Hospital Wing by Malfoy. Plus they'd have most likely told Ginny by now.

Surely they would understand? I tried to convince myself. I knew they wouldn't. Besides, how could I expect them to when this had been another position with Draco that I had been caught in? Thank heavens they didn't know about the kiss…and I definitely wasn't about to let them find out either.

VVVVV

I had been on my way to The Great Hall for lunch when I ran into Blaise. He called after me, but as much as I tried to ignore him, I couldn't. On his third time to get my attention, I managed to turn around.

"Yes Blaise? Is there anything you want, or are you planning to make my life even more complicated than it already is?"

He smirked.

"Well if it isn't someone's time of the month. Did I mention you seemed incredibly distraught? You're destroying yourself mate."

Well at least someone seemed to care. And I suppose I was, but didn't I deserve it? I was a selfish, bloody, git. I remained silent.

"Feel like talking about it?"

"No."

Blaise turned me around, back towards my Head quarters. I didn't object, but lagged in his wake. Thank God this year the rules had changed, or I would've had to share quarters with Granger. Imagine how productive that would've been. Thank you last year's Head boy and girl, for getting a bit rowdy right when Professor Snape had decided to drop them a message. Thank you indeed.

VVVVV

'You can do this, you can do this, you can do this, you can do this', I chanted in my head. I had finally made the decision to talk to Harry, really talk to him. If I waited any longer, some things would definitely get out, and our friendship would be jeopardized beyond repair. I was walking towards the Quidditch pitch, where I knew he would be practicing for the upcoming Slytherin vs. Gryffindor match in about two weeks. He had just been taking a drink of water when I approached him.

"Harry?"

I saw the back of his body stiffen, and he remained silent. It took all of my effort to remain talking to him. I was used to talking things out with Ron when he got fussy, but with Harry it seemed like a completely different case.

"We need to talk."

He brushed past me, walking towards his broom. I watched as he mounted it, and without another word shot up into the sky. I felt angry tears cloud my vision. Was I really not worth anything to him at all anymore? Out of nowhere, anger pulsed through my veins as I look around. I couldn't control myself. If that little prick that he could just ignore me, well then we'd see how much he would be able to ignore a horrible flying girl up in the sky. Tying my hair up, I braced myself, mounted the extra broom that lay beside me, and rocketed it into the air. I tried to ignore the urge on nausea I felt as the broom accelerated; instead keeping my thoughts on recalling the only flying lesson I'd ever had in first year. I had done okay on a Cleansweep 360, but now that the whole team had Nimbus 3000's, I was screwed.

The broom was extremely hard to control, and it jerked aimlessly as I tried my best to direct it. This really was a bad idea.

"Harry!"I heard myself scream. He turned around on his broom, and when he realized I was up in the air as well, his eyes widened.

"What the hell are you doing!" he yelled back. My voice bobbed in octaves as I tried to reply on the horrid broom.

"I – I told you we – we need to t – talk!"

He zoomed towards me, took his wand out and managed to control the unruly thing. I sighed, holding my stomach as it stilled, and I could feel my organs in the right place again.

"What was so important for you to risk your life Hermione?" He asked, baffled.

"I'm sorry", was all I had managed to say. His eyes softened. Hopefully he would let me explain now.

VVVVV

"So you kissed her, again?" was all Blaise said while he munched on his fries. Somehow he had persuaded the House Elves to bring our lunch to my room. He had always had a way with, well…everything. I nodded silently, after I explained the whole story of what had happened yesterday.

"Well that wasn't a very good idea mate."

"You really think so?" I replied back sarcastically. Blaise ignored my sneer.

"Snap at me all you want, it isn't going to help the situation."

"Sorry", I replied dejectedly. I knew it was wrong to snap at him, but I had so much going on in my head that I couldn't control my random outbursts at the moment. Thank Merlin my best friend knew me well enough to know that. Even though I had told him the story, I couldn't bring myself to explain the undeniable draw I felt towards her. I wasn't in love with her, I couldn't even stand her – and I definitely wasn't lusting over her.

"Do you even like her at all?" I heard him ask.

"Not one bit actually. I don't really hate her though either. I don't know what it is."

"Think about it Draco", Blaise replied, pushing his plate away and wiping his hands with a napkin. "You say you don't like her, but you don't hate her either. You're determined to say you're not lusting over her, but yet you've been the one to initiate both kisses, both times. What does that sound like to you?"

"You really don't want to hear my answer."

"Why? Because you're afraid to admit you have something for her?"

I shut my mouth.

Whether I liked or not, somewhere deep inside of myself, I knew that was exactly it.

VVVVV

I had taken Harry back to my room so that we could talk quietly. While the walk there had been awkward, being in there alone had been slightly worse. He leaned cautiously against my armchair while I spoke, trying to busy myself with adjusting random things here and there.

"Do….do you want something to drink?" I asked him.

"No, but thanks", he replied curtly. He seemed about ready to leave, and if I didn't say something soon, he would.

"I really don't know why I did it Harry. I'm not blaming you or Ron, but I really wish I hadn't done that dare. "

He stared silently at me. How on earth was I supposed to explain to him what I felt towards Draco? I didn't know how I was felt, so an answer couldn't really be given. What was I supposed to say? That because of that stupid dare that I was now insatiably drawn to Draco Malfoy? That wouldn't suit Harry well at all. He stood across the room from me, his stare nearly accusatory.

"What is he to you, Hermione?" he asked, arms crossed. I opened my mouth to say something, but as I did, I realized something and was forced to close it.

"I …... I don't know."

I really, really didn't.

"And what are you to him? Are you his whore?" he demanded, his voice getting colder and meaner each time he spoke.

I stared at him incredulously. "Is that what you think of me? Do you really think that I would stoop that low? I thought we were friends!" I heard myself say, my voice sounding awfully choked up.

He took a step closer to me. "Yeah? Well I did too, until you started sleeping around with the bloke –"

"Sleeping around? Is that what you think we're doing? Is that what you think of me –?"

"Well of course I do! He's a Malfoy, Hermione, what more would he want from some innocent girl like you, who happens to be one of my best mates? Surely you can't expect me to believe he just wants to be friends. As soon as he gets what he wants, he'll dump you and start calling you a mudblood again."

I had never seen Harry like this before. His words actually really hurt my feelings. Somewhere inside me, I felt the unexplainable need to stand up for Draco. He hadn't done any of those things Harry had listed, especially call me a mudblood. He hadn't done that since well…I couldn't even remember when he had done it after fifth year. I had to give him some credit for that.

"For your information, Draco hasn't called me a mudblood not once this year, and he definitely hasn't tried to hit on me."

Harry scoffed. "Draco, to you now is he? Next thing you know you'll be telling me he calls you Hermione. Also, if you don't call kissing you hitting on you or way past it, I don't know what is."

"Actually he doesn't. He calls me Granger. The time he kissed me was when he was vulnerable, and it was basically my fault, and –" I caught myself. There was no way in hell Harry was going to find out about yesterday in The Hospital Wing. No one could.

"And what?" Harry wondered, looking at me suspiciously.

"And it will never happen again. It was a mistake and I regret it entirely." He still didn't look like he believed me. "As for what you saw when he was carrying me, it was because I'd fallen out of a tree while reading and he saw me and was trying to help. It was his duty as Head Boy."

I nearly smiled as Harry went from angry to guilty, when he realized he had been wrong all along. He didn't need to know the details. I didn't like not telling him the whole truth, but I felt that if I did he would never be able to forgive me. I loved him too much to lose him. He was practically my brother. Despite the fact, I was still angry that he had jumped to such harsh conclusions.

"I expect you'll be leaving now", I continued. "You probably don't even care that I'm telling you this. You probably –"

Before I could say another word, Harry had engulfed me in a strong hug. I was so happy that I could've cried. "I am so sorry", I heard him whisper. Slowly, I hugged him back.

"I can't believe I was such a prat towards you. I'm so stupid. It's not your fault Hermione. I should've been smarter than to think you would be sleeping around with Malfoy. I swear I'll never doubt you. You have to believe me, I'm the sorriest I've ever been. " He kissed my forehead.

Even though I was still slightly angry at him, I couldn't help but smile. "It's alright I suppose. Just promise me you'll never get this upset with me again. I can't bear it."

He smiled, and I beamed right back. "I promise. I'll explain everything to Ron and Ginny, you don't have to worry about it. Please come to Hogsmeade with us? We've all missed you."

I pondered over that idea for a moment before responding. "That sounds like a great idea."

Seems like I did have plans after all.

vvvvv

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