Disclaimer: still nothing but the plot!
Ch. 12
While at the beginning I had had doubts, the trip with Ron, Harry, and Ginny had turned out to be great. After Harry had managed to talk things out with Ron and Ginny, they had slightly let go of their doubts of me. Throughout the trip, they became a lot easier to talk to, and by the end, we had been getting along as if nothing had ever happened. The only thing I was cautious of was the look Ginny would slip me through the day, as if she knew something I didn't. I knew she would be talking privately with me soon, but she never failed to be just as friendly as the guys. We had been sitting in the basically empty Gryffindor common room, munching through the pile of Honeydukes sweets we'd brought back. For a while we had played quite long games of Wizard's Chess, which I sucked at, and Truth of Spin, which was almost like the magical adaptation of spin the bottle, only you gave truthful answers instead of kisses. It was nearly midnight when Ron and Harry had decided to retire to bed.
Harry yawned, getting up from his armchair. "Well that was good fun you guys, but I'm exhausted, so I'm going to go to bed now."
"Agreed", was all Ron said, before they both bid us goodnight and clambered up the stairs to their dormitories. It was just me and Ginny now.
"So you know what we should talk about, right?" she asked. I was halfway through a gummy tentacula leaf when my throat closed up. "You know I'm not going to judge you. I just want you to know that I care about you Herms. You're one of my best friends."
"I know Gin. I just don't know what I should say to you." Of course she would want to talk about Malfoy, why wouldn't she? I just didn't know what I should tell her. I knew I could trust her from telling Harry and Ron, but I felt that it was for my own good that I didn't talk about it, and it had nothing to do with Ginny.
"Hermione….you can't keep all of your feelings pent up inside. It'll just get worse."
There was a moment of silence between us before she spoke again.
"Do you….have feelings for him, Hermione?" She didn't need to say his name for me to know who she was talking about. I felt all of the candy I'd eaten churn in my stomach. I jerked my head, not even knowing myself whether it was meant to be a yes or a no.
"Maybe?" she whispered.
I buried my head in my hands, trying to think of something else, anything else.
"Hermione, its okay if you do! I won't judge you, I swear –"
"Ginny. I can't do this." Was all I could manage to blurt out. I fought the need to vomit and cry all at the same time. I could see her out of the corner of my eyes, looking at me as if I were an incredibly hard rune to decipher. I supposed I was. How else could I expect her to react? I didn't even know what was wrong with me. I felt her hand on my back, rubbing it gingerly, slowly.
"It's alright…it's not your fault who you like Hermione, it's just a little crush, it'll go away with time if you want it to."
That's where she was wrong. The only way she would ever understand what it was, was if she was me.
"It's not a crush, not even close. I don't even like him Ginny. Somehow he's always in my head, all the time. During the day, at night, when I sleep! He won't leave me alone. I feel like I need to be around him all the time, but when I am, I can't even look at him. I'm mental Gin." I laughed hoarsely, lifting my head from my hands. She was quiet for a moment, before she laughed quietly. I turned to her, a slightly hurt look on her face.
"You think this is funny?" I asked her incredulously. Some friend she was. I had just spilled out my guts to her and all she could do was laugh?
"No, not funny at all, it's just really ironic." She smiled.
"Ironic?"
"Well yeah kind of….it just really reminds me of me and Harry at the beginning. The whole can't get you out of my head bit."
I choked. "Are you insinuating that I'm in love with Draco Malfoy, Ginevra Weasley? You're crazy."
She laughed again. "Definitely not", she looked at me slyly, "But there could be a little spark in there somewhere."
I sat with my mouth open unable to speak. She smiled at me again, knowing what she had said had affected me. "I'm glad we had this talk Hermione. I think I'm going to crash though, so I'll be on my way to bed." She was almost halfway up the stairs when she turned back to look at me, a devilishly devious smile on her face.
"Think about it", she whispered. With that, she was off to bed, leaving me alone in the common room. Somewhere in my head, I knew she was partly right. I would think about it, subconsciously of course, whether I liked it or not. I rested my head against the arm of the chair.
The nerve of that girl.
VVVVV
So far, I'd thought I'd done a pretty good job of ignoring any thoughts of that damned, curly haired, Gryffindor girl. Sure I had had to distract myself twenty four hours a day, seven days a week to succeed at this, but I had triumphed nonetheless. Of course I'd had moments where she would just pop into my head, but I had learned to control those by now, most of the time that was. It seemed that my mind had its own plan, just using my body as a vessel to carry out a deed. I felt used. I also coped with those feelings by using someone else, such as Pansy, for the moment.
She had been purring in my ear, running her perfectly manicured hands through my hair, trying to get me to respond to her. She thought I was actually enjoying this, being with her while she lounged on my lap, but instead, I found myself wanting to be with someone else, as usual.
"Draco?"She purred in my ear, brandishing my neck with light fluttery kisses. Would I have given in already? Yes. But that would only happen if I could learn to completely forget about Granger. I wasn't even attracted to her, for Merlin's sake, so how could she be in my head all the time? I had no idea.
"Pans?"
"How come you never make love to me anymore?" she wondered, batting her long dark brown eyelashes. Combined with her startlingly blue eyes, the overall effect was quite beautiful and flattering, but it had no affect on me, and neither did her words. No effect, anywhere, whatsoever. Of course Pansy was beautiful. I would be out of my mind even more than I already was if I said she wasn't. She was basically every guy's fantasy, tall, a killer figure, long dark hair, stunning big blue eyes, and perfectly shaped features. Her personality on the other hand, was what made her a lot less attractive to me. She was clingy, nosy, whiny, overbearing, and wanted nothing more than to shag me all day long. If she couldn't have me, she would almost always go after other willing guys, or sit and weep until I apologized for not sleeping with her. Once, she'd even tried to get Blaise to shag her, and he laughed in her face. Sometimes I really thought she could be a nymphomaniac. Another thing was that she was convinced she was my girlfriend.
"I've just been, uh, busy." I muttered. She pouted her lips.
"Too busy for your honeybee? Drake, I miss you." She said, using her baby voice, which by the way, I hated. I also hated when anyone called me Drake. I fought the urge to push her off me. 'She's just a distraction, just a distraction', I reminded myself, making me feel slightly better, yet worse at the same time.
"My name is Draco", was all I said. She laughed a high giggly sound that sounded so sugar coated it sounded phony.
"Of course it is, my darling."
Without another word, she leaned in and pressed her glossed lips against mine, straddling me as she brought me closer. I knew it sounded mean, but I couldn't help but prefer her like this; quiet, with her mouth shut. I heard her moan and I grabbed her waist, not surprised when it brought back memories of what had happened in the hospital wing nearly a week and a half ago. She started whispered in my ear how bad she wanted me as she ground her hips against mine. No matter how hard she tried, I still felt numb, and I couldn't bring myself to enjoy her. Without warning, she slipped her hand down into my pants and I couldn't help but growl. I had the most bizarre carnal urge to take her right there and then. Happy with my reaction, she continued her ministrations. I could my heartbeat start to race and my breathing was beginning to become labored.
"Pansy", I half moaned. "You have to stop!" I clenched my eyes shut as another wave of pleasure overcame me. "Please." I gritted my teeth. I didn't want this. Not with Pansy. Suddenly, a flash went through my head and I could see nothing else but her, nothing else but her soft golden brown curls and chocolate brown eyes and –
Midway through my vision, a shockwave of ecstasy hit me so badly I held Pansy close to me with a murderous grip. I could still feel her kissing my neck.
"Herm-!"
I caught myself, and I froze in Pansy's embrace. I had almost yelled out her name. My eyes widened in shock and I quickly removed Pansy's hand out of my pants, practically shoving her off me. I heard her yelp in surprise.
"I'm so sorry, I have to go, I'm sorry." I muttered, righting myself and grabbing my belongings.
"Draco!" I heard her call after me as I bounded up the steps. I couldn't look back to see Pansy's hurt face or to see if she was okay after she had been unceremoniously tossed from my lap. I just ran to my room, teeth clenched, fists as well, trying to think of anything else but her.
vvvvv
So what did you guys think? Reviews and constructive criticism anyone? : D love you all! Also, Dramione will be having another moment quite soon! Happy Labor Day weekend!