Dipper POV

It was just another normal day in Gravity Falls.

Scratch that. In Gravity Falls, it's nearly impossible to achieve anything close to normal.

It was just another normal day for Gravity Falls.

There we go. Much better.

Mabel and Waddles were protesting Soos' version of bacon, which was actually just charred black pieces of something that used to be meat.

Why Soos was making bacon right after his lunch break, the world may never know.

I had to go upstairs to the attic, and even then with my head under my pillow, trying in vain to avoid my sister's ear-splitting shrieks that filled the Shack.

"NO!" she screamed in defiance. "EVIL!" I heard a plate shatter as it landed on the kitchen floor.

"What the heck, dude?!" Soos snapped at her.

"How do you know Waddles wasn't BFFs with that pig?" she retorted.

"Well, uh, I'm not exactly an expert on pigs, but I'm pretty sure they don't have BFFs," Soos commented.

"Ha! You just admitted that you weren't an expert on pigs, so maybe they do, maybe they don't," Mabel snapped smugly.

I heard Soos facepalm. Yes, I heard him facepalm.

The poor guy must've broken his nose doing that. Mabel logic causes so many people pain.

"Mabel! Stop injuring people!" Stan barked from below. "And get over to the gift shop pronto!" I could hear the panicky patter of my sister's feet as she scrambled over to where our uncle had told her to go. "You too, Dipper!" he added, louder.

I sighed and cautiously made my way downstairs to the small shop. Whenever Stan called us in like this, nothing good ever happened.

"What?" I huffed once I reached the bottom. I folded my arms and kicked a woodchip that had come loose from the floor with my toe.

My uncle raised an eyebrow at me before whacking me upside the head with a rolled up newspaper he just so happened to be carrying at the moment. "Lighten up, kid," he growled, but not without giving me the evil eye while saying it. "Anyway, How 'bout you two go bury my old attractions somewhere deep, deep in the woods, 'kay? I think they were giving some of my customers lead poisoning. Or maybe it was radiation poisoning. I'm not sure. Either way, it's not good for the business!"

"But can I put sparkles on them?" Mabel inquired, closing her eyes and raising a hand with only her pointer finger extended.

"Why not," Stan shrugged. "Now get busy," he ordered. He turned around, using his previously weaponized newspaper to scratch his back under the stained white undershirt he wore along with blue striped boxers and a pair of slippers. This motion drew my attention to his mysterious tattoo he refused to tell us about. A combination of agitation and curiosity ran through me, but only for a second.

Looks like I didn't have much say in this. I guess it was time for us to do our uncle's dirty work.

"YAY! Sparkles!" my overenthusiastic twin exclaimed as we marched through the forest. She threw up a handful of silver glitter, which drifted slowly back down to the moss-covered ground, far too much of it settling on my hat.

We had disposed of Stan's apparently radioactive creations a while ago, and we would've been back at the Shack by now if it weren't for Mabel. She decided to take what she called "Mabel's Special Scenic Tour", which I assumed was just to dump the rest of her gallon container of glitter around the woods.

She pushed her way through a bush that obscured our path, and I had no choice but to follow, although I did complain a bit.

What was on the other side of the bush startled me; I rubbed my eyes and took a step back.

On the other side of the bush were three teenage boys, just standing there, in the middle of nowhere, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Maybe it wasn't the most normal thing in the world, but I'd say it did have a fair chance at being one of the most normal things here in Gravity Falls.

A/N: YAY! I'm back! But I probably just would've forgot about this fic if it weren't for a PM from Iamdipperpines, so thank him, what few readers I have. Just sayin'. The future is in the past! It is also bulletproof! The aftermath is secondary! ONWARDS AOSHIMA! KILLJOYS, MAKE SOME NOISE! okay bye :)