Ryou's POV

"Come again?" Bakura asked skeptically.

This may be harder than I thought. Let's try a... slower approach.

"It. Means," I emphasize every word as if talking to a small child. "I. Speak. English."

Bakura looked at the bush Marik had hidden in. "Marik! Is this your real April Fool's joke?" He yelled.

Marik popped out of a bush on the path opposite of the place Bakura was looking. "Of course not! But that would have been an amazing prank..."

"Uh, Marik? That was your prank." I said as Marik walked over to us. How did he get on the other side of the path...?

Marik froze in his tracks and gasped. "Really? I'm a genius!"

In a flash Bakura kicked Marik's legs which, knocking him off his feet, sent Marik face first into the ground with a sharp yelp of 'mommy!'.

"Idiot!" Bakura shook his head.

I froze in fear, wondering if I'm next. Bakura faced me and I thought about what would happen if I tried to run. I would probably fall on my face. I think I should go out with my pride intact. But that may mean I'll go out without my face intact. I'm too pretty for that to happen!

"What do you have to say for yourself?" Bakura asked me.

Oops. Too late to run. Okay new plan: talk my way out of this.

"Erm..." Brilliant Ryou. Truly, sarcastically brilliant.

"Ryou!" Marik interjected. "Fake an injury!"

I sent him an odd look. Marik sat up and Bakura kicked him in the stomach. "Ouchiez!" Marik rolled around on the ground making over dramatic noises that suggest he is in pain.

"Now then, back to things that matter. Why did you pretend to speak Spanish?"

I shrug, "It seemed like the right thing to do at the time."

Bakura turned an accusatory glare to Marik, "Why did you go along with it?"

Marik mimicked Ryou's action and tone of voice on the ground, "It seemed like the right thing to do at the time."

Bakura face palmed. "Have I ever told you how much I despise you?"

"Several times." Marik said in a chipper voice. Bakura kicked Marik in the stomach again.

"You don't understand how long I've waited to do that."

"Bad Fluffy! How dare you turn against me?"

"Stop calling me Fluffy!"

"Oh, I get it. You don't wanna be a kitty. I guess you're more of a poodle anyways."

"You did not just say that."

"I just said that." Marik said seriously.

Bakura looks mad. I wonder if he's going to combust like Marik predicted. From Bakura's facial expression it's a possibility.

"Hey you know something I just remembered?" Marik began. This can't end well. "'Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.' is a grammatically correct sentence."

"What does that have to do with anything?" I looked down at him confusedly.

Marik shrugged, "I remembered it and I wanted to say it before I forgot again." Bakura kicked Marik hard in the stomach for the, I think, third time. "Ow! I'm going to pass out now." And pass out Marik did. His eyes rolled back and his head plopped to the dusty ground.

I would be scared that he was dead, but then he started to snore. "That actually happens when somebody gets knocked out?" I exclaim.

"Yep." Bakura nods.

"Cool!" I pause as that triggers another thought. "I wonder if it's the same for people who fart in their sleep."

We both go silent for a minute while watching Marik. Not in a pedo way either, more like... scientists curiously studying a new specimen.

After a little bit Bakura spoke up, "If he does, I don't really want to find out."

….

"Agreed."

With that we both walked down the path leaving the unconscious Marik alone. Unconscious. In the park. Unprotected.

And we are perfectly fine with that.

Marik's POV

~Dream sequence~

There's snow everywhere! It's piled up super high on the sides of the roads. I'm walking down the road, wearing no snow gear whatsoever might I add but I'm not cold, and on my right is Fluffy. Fluffy is wearing a pair of skis and is just standing there doing no work but he is still moving.

No fair!

I'm running as fast as I can to keep up but he's just standing there! What a jerk!

We reach the end of this road. And there's the park! But the road between us is full of snow forts. Fluffy (whose skis just disappeared) and I rush over to them. We crouch down and prepare for an assault. Paying no mind that this is a normally busy highway. We know what we must do. To get to the park and sled on the awesome hill we must first fight our way through this battlefield.

A battlefield where the ammo, instead of snowballs, is stereos playing show tunes.

There was a battle but it was kinda a blur. These fight sequences always are like that.

Bakura's POV

"Hey Ryou," I say to him while we're walking down the path to the end of the park.

"Yeah?" He responds.

"You aren't allowed to speak Spanish anymore."

"What? Why not? Pride still hurt from the prank?"

This kid is growing a backbone. "No, I just said you can't. So you can't"

"¡No te preocupes! No hablo español contigo."

I don't know what he just said but I know that he's doing this just to be cheeky. I calmly whack Ryou on the back of the head. "So you think you're a wise guy, eh?"

"Who says wise guy anymore?"

"The guy who's going to keep hitting you if you keep talking in Spanish." I threaten.

"¿Cuando?"

I whack him on the head again.

"¿Ahora mismo?" Whack! "¡Ahora mismo! Ahora Mismo!" Whack. Ryou growls in frustration. Aw how cute, he thinks he threatening.

"¡Deje un mensaje después del tono!" Ryou shouts at me. I look at him for a moment while he cools down. When he seems calm again, with a neutral expression I proceed to whack him upside the head again.

In the most mature act ever (coughsarcasmcoughcough). Ryou sits down cross legged, folds his arms, and pouts while looking away.

Oh so he thinks he can act like all adorable and cute-small-animal-like and I'll do what he wants? It may work on Marik but not on me! I'll show him whose more childis- I mean manly. I totally meant manly. I'll show him whose more mature and whatnot!

I just keep walking down the path and go home. Sooner or later Ryou will too.

Marik's POV

(A while later!)

Ermghflem... My tummy hurts.

Everything starts coming back to me. Fluffy! How could he?

Well I guess with his foot...

It's starting to get dark out. The kitties probably went to their little cat caves. It's like bat cave but the cat went in and... ate the bats, so now it belongs to the cat. Then a second cat went into another bat cave and ate those bats so now Ryou and Bakura have nice warm beds to sleep in.

TBC

Translations

¡No te preocupes! No hablo español contigo- Don't worry. I won't speak Spanish with you.

¿Cuando?- When?

Ahora mismo- Right now

Deje un mensaje después del tono- Leave a message after the tone.