C: Crash

Gil had been told a few times to not drive Ludwig's car. Actually, he had been told many times to never touch the car. Ludwig had even gone so far as to say, do not even look at the car.

But what fun was that? Since when did Gil ever listen to anything?

Ludwig always got the nice cars. He had just in fact gotten a new Porsche, which obviously meant Gil should get Ludwig's old car, a very stylish Audi. He did not just want the car, he also needed it. He did not have a car because after he wrecked the last one, Ludwig had refused to get him a new one.

Gil was a very capable man, he knew how to drive, in fact he was a great driver. As long as he was not drunk, which accounted for four of his seven crashes. The other two were because girls were…distracting him in ways that should not happen while a car is being operated.

The seventh was because he rocked out a little too hard to the radio and forgot to drive in the midst of his singing and air guitar.

Ok, maybe that one involved alcohol as well.

But after seven crashes, Ludwig was pretty tired of the panic attacks he got. He was not going to lose the stubborn albino, who survived wars and sickness, and even dissolution- to a bloody car wreck.

So Gil had no car, which was not a huge deal because he could walk to the bar and could walk all around town. Or he could use the public transportation or a bike. But that just was not as cool or fast as the car.

And he was Gil. He had to make everything difficult. It was his job.

This particular evening, he had hijacked Ludwig's Audi and driven a far ways from Berlin down to Munich because he was in the mood for south German beer and sausage. Plus south German girls were always lovely.

Ludwig was out of town and Gil had no way to be caught, so long as he did not wreck the car anywhere. He did not think his brother checked the mileage and gas before he left.

Though Gil would not put that past Ludwig.

The only issue with his master plan was one stein lead to twelve steins, and twelve steins of German beer[1] was enough to make a thousand pound cow tipsy.

Gil had driven drunk before, and not wrecked. He drove just fine. He had no women to distract him either. The radio was also off.

He did just fine leaving Munich, and did fine all the way to Berlin. He ran into a problem when he was driving out to their home, and a stupid dog decided it wanted to stand in the road and stare at the oncoming head lights.

Naturally he served to miss the furry creature, and while he swerved, he cut off the man behind him driving a rather familiar Porsche. Gil could not place where he knew the car from.

He also could not fathom why the man laid on his horn and screamed something that sounded like 'watch out'

Well, not until the grill of his car almost kissed another car in the other lane. He jerked the wheel a little too hard and went off roading.

While German cars are amazing they were not meant to go off roading. He smashed into a ditch and the front side of the car went down, and got wedged. Gil's seatbelt locked and the airbag kept him comfortable. He was no facing down directly at the ground, suspended by the belt.

The other car stopped, and Gil prayed it was not a cop. He was to pretty for jail.

When the driver of the other car got to his window, Gil suddenly wished it was a cop, because the furious face of his brother made jail showers look welcoming.

"Hey Luddy!" he beamed casually, like it was normal for Ludwig to pulled him out of car wrecks. Like it was an average Saturday night for him to be stuck in a ditch suspended by a seat belt.

The sad part about this was it was rather normal.

Ludwig cut the seat belt off his brother and jerked the albino out of the car and into the ditch.

Gil lay out on the dirt and made sure nothing was broken. He had blood on him from the wind shield, and he would have nice bruises in the morning.

Ludwig looked between the now totaled Audi and his bloody brother.

In a creepily fatherly voice, Ludwig launched into his regular lecture. He had after all said this seven times before. Maybe eighth time was the charm with the thick headed albino.

"What have I said about taking my cars?"

Gil rubbed his head "To not do it."

"Why did I say that?"

He spit out glass "Because….I wreck them?"

Ludwig glared "Because you are clearly not able to handle a car maturely."

"That is not a fair statement. I can drive tanks and army trucks, and I can drive these cars when not wasted. I have driven you before."

Ludwig rubbed his temples "You have road rage worse than anyone I have ever seen, and you drive twenty over the speed limit, you swerve and cut people off, and then yell when people do that to you, and you give me anxiety attacks. That is why you are not allowed to drive me, and that is why you do not get a car."

Gil sat up slowly "I only crashed because I did not make the dog a new hood ornament."

Ludwig was not going for this excuse. "Normal people can avoid obstacles without crashing."

His tone was bland, as he was sick of yelling at his older brother about driving. Though he was quite glad to see Gil did not kill himself.

"I hope you get arrested for drunk driving." Ludwig growled, walking towards his car.

Gil got up and followed slowly "Then you would have to bail me out."

"I do not have to bail you out. I could leave you."

Gil smirked as he slid in the passenger seat "But what is I was taken advantage of? You would be real jealous then."

Ludwig nearly responded before he picked up the jealous part. "Why the hell would I be jealous?"

Gil was yes drunk, but this conversation was sadly not a giveaway. This was again, quite normal.

"Because you wouldn't want anyone else to screw your awesomely sexy big brother~"

Ludwig began to question why he didn't leave Gil in the ditch. Maybe Gil would have learned his lesson, and even if he didn't, at least Ludwig didn't have to listen to this.

Gil crashed cars, but Ludwig was really starting to think Gil had a gift for wrecking his patience.

"Just shut up…" he groaned.

Gil smirked "So you admit it?"

Ludwig did not gratify him with a response.

He smirked wider "I take that as a yes. Crash and burn Lud!"

As Ludwig drove away he growled "I wish something else had burned."

Gil passed out while Ludwig finished driving home. The car was left behind, the police already knew the license number belonged to the rather well known Bielschdmit brothers.

Their patience was crashing about as fast as Ludwig's was. Unlike the cops, Ludwig of course never stayed mad. He didn't care about his thousand dollar cars. He cared more about his idiotic brother.

Because sadly, (maybe fortunately) there was only one Gilbert.

[1] German beer is more potent than American beer, also steins are bigger than American beer bottles.

D won't be up until Monday or later.

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