A/N: Funny how most of the reviewers went straight to a specific conclusion. Anyway, I wanted to rush an update today because Stana won PCA's Favorite TV Dramatic Actress and Castle won Favorite TV Crime Drama (3rd year in a row!) :) Any lingering mistakes are mine, although the chapter's been beta-ed by Iris and Anika. Read on, lovelies!
Disclaimer: (Luckily) not mine, otherwise I'd forever keep the cast tucked away in my little pocket.
Kate left her cruiser at the precinct – she still felt too jittery to drive and didn't want to waste time looking for a parking spot near the restaurant Alexis had suggested. She flagged down a cab easily enough, telling the driver the address before losing herself deep in thoughts once more.
"Yo lady, we're here!"
Kate startled back into the present. Judging by how impatient the cabby looked, he had probably tried to get her attention a few times already. Looking out, Kate saw that she had indeed arrived. Where had all the time gone?
"Lady, you gon' pay me or what?"
Kate fumbled for her purse, apologizing as she paid the cab fare. Another passenger pushed her way into the cab as soon as Kate climbed out. The cab driver had already pulled away with his new passenger before Kate even had time to orient herself.
Shaking her head to clear any lingering thoughts, Kate headed into the restaurant. She spotted the redhead easily, releasing a breath of air that she hadn't even realized she'd been holding. Relief flooded her system upon setting her eyes on her oldest daughter.
The two of them had grown progressively closer over the years. Alexis didn't view Kate so much as mother figure, but more like an experienced, close confidante to the young adult. Even so, Kate cared and loved Alexis like her own flesh and blood.
"Kate!" Alexis greeted, standing up to envelope Kate in a warm hug. Kate squeezed her tightly in return, running her fingers through the red strands of hair as she pulled back.
It was a gesture she often did to Arriana.
If Alexis found that a little out of the ordinary, she didn't comment on it. She settled back into her seat as Kate hung her jacket and took the empty seat.
They placed their orders and Alexis began filling Kate in on the going-ons in her life. Kate listened raptly, happy to just sit there and listen to Alexis.
Alexis eventually trailed off when she finished the story of how she had found this restaurant with her roommate. She took a sip of her drink, wetting her throat before looking back at Kate.
"Kate, you've been hanging out with dad too much," Alexis told her in a teasing tone.
"What? What do you mean?" Kate sat up, suddenly alert.
Alexis cocked her head to the side, attempting to keep a smile off her face as she continued, "You're doing that creepy staring thing." Checking her watch, Alexis teased Kate, "In fact, you've been doing the staring thing for the past fifteen minutes."
Alexis had expected Kate to laugh or at the very least chuckle, but all she got was a wane smile.
"Kate? What's wrong? Are things all right between you and dad? What's going on here?"
"Nothing?" the detective replied weakly. She was actually tired of telling the people she loves that everything was fine or there was nothing wrong when it was in fact a lie.
Alexis shot her a sassy look, surely something she had picked up from her time with Lanie, and told Kate, "Look, not that I don't love randomly grabbing lunch with you, but I'm pretty sure you were trying to keep this from dad? And you're acting all weird – it just isn't you, Kate. So come on, tell me what's wrong."
"You're right," Kate admitted. "Your dad and I had a… quarrel yesterday, but you don't have to worry about it. And as for lunch today…" Kate trailed off, picking at her napkin for a few seconds before continuing, "I just missed you."
Alexis pursed her lips and shot Kate a Beckett-patented look.
That earned a laugh from Kate – a genuine laugh, as she repeated, "What? Your step mom isn't allowed to miss you?"
Sitting up straight, Kate mocked in a serious tone, "I shared a feeling with you, a genuine feeling – Dr. Burke would be so proud. Aren't you proud of me as well?"
A light sprinkling of sarcasm laced her last sentence, because Dr. Burke would not be proud of the way she was handling this situation, but it must have been too light for Alexis to pick up on.
It was now Alexis' turn to laugh, rolling her eyes at Kate.
"Fine, fine. I miss you as well. So what did dad do this time? Nothing too Neanderthal, I hope? I was finally ready to completely leave my parenting days behind," she mocked back, slyly fishing for details.
Kate's face fell a little. Sheepishly, she told Alexis, "Actually, he didn't do anything wrong. We just need to talk about some things."
Alexis remained silent, listening attentively to Kate, or in this case, waiting for her to continue. Kate filled in the silence, elaborating.
"A case hit a little too close to home," she said softly, holding Alexis' gaze for a second before she looked to the side and reached for her glass.
'She's fine, Kate. Look, she's alive and well right there in front of you,' Kate reminded herself mentally, struggling to keep it together.
Alexis reached out to hold Kate's free hand.
"Hey, don't worry 'bout it, dad's stronger that he looks. He'll get through it, especially with you there for him," Alexis said gently.
Kate flushed guiltily.
"Yeah, I know he will."
At that moment it hit Alexis. Her dad wasn't the one getting emotional over a case – it was Kate.
Realizing her error, Alexis quickly added, "Dad's there for you too, you know? Whenever you need him. Or if dad won't do, I'm here for you as well. You don't always have to be the strong one."
Kate gave her a wobbly smile, squeezing Alexis' hand tightly. She was still unable to speak, so Alexis took that as an opportunity to continue talking.
"Does Dad even know about this?"
Kate had a tendency to bottle up and deal with things on her own. Over time, she had made more of an effort to open up and include other people, but Alexis knew how sometimes old habits are hard to die.
Kate bit her lip and dropped her head as she gave a small shake.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Another small shake.
"Okay, but you need to share with dad, okay? Kate, you don't have to carry any burdens alone. We're a family and we're here for you. All of us. Just talk to him soon, okay? Dad loves you, and he worries about everything. With that imagination of his, not knowing would worry him even more than knowing," Alexis chuckled, trying to lighten the atmosphere.
Kate cleared her throat before looking up at Alexis again.
"I know. I promise to talk to him soon."
How do you tell your stepdaughter that you needed time to fix yourself before you could join your family? She wasn't a Stepford housewife or your typical mother with a socially acceptable career.
She had been damaged before meeting Castle, and he went a long way in helping mend her, but occasionally the surface cracks would show up again. How do you tell your daughter you still have lingering insecurities issues that hit you when you least expect it?
Thankfully their waiter chose that moment to bring over their food, serving as a reprieve to both women.
Eventually, Kate collected herself enough to continue on with normal conversation.
"You want to come over to the loft for dinner?"
"Not the weekly dinner," Kate clarified when Alexis shot her a questioning look. "Maybe tomorrow or the day after, if you don't have plans, I was thinking it would be nice for you to come over to the loft for dinner."
Dropping her eyes back to her plate self consciously, Kate continued rambling. "I'm pretty sure your dad would love the opportunity to see you as well, since he… isn't here today. Of course, that's only if you're free, you don't have to feel pressured or obligated-"
"Kate, it's fine. I think I can drop by tomorrow night," Alexis cut in. It was mildly painful to watch Kate so unsure, rambling in an attempt to justify herself.
Besides, whatever Kate was dealing with seemed related to Alexis' presence (it was a sixth sense kind of feeling), so she was more than happy to go over to the loft if it could help her step mom and family. And Kate had a point: her dad was sure to be sore about not seeing her today.
"Are you sure?" Kate confirmed.
She had such a hopeful look on her face that Alexis couldn't turn her offer down. It was a good thing she really didn't have plans tomorrow night.
"Yes, Kate, I'm sure of it. Don't mention it to Arriana, alright? I want to surprise her, but tell dad about it. Do it tonight, before you talk to him about the case. Cheer him up little before you guys talk, and tell him it's an apology from me for not telling him about today. Say I was the one who requested lunch being just the two of us, okay?"
"No, Alexis, I can't shift the blame on to you. I promise I'll talk to him tonight, but I hope you won't mind if I use your offer to come over for dinner as my apology to him for today instead."
"As long as you guys start talking? Deal."
Looking at their empty plates, Alexis then checked her watch.
"We should make a move, I've got class in half an hour," she explained. Their hour had flown by way too quickly. Kate paid for lunch before exiting with Alexis.
She hailed down a cab, offering it to Alexis but she shook her head.
"You take it back to the Twelfth, Kate. I think I'll walk back, it's not too far off and I need to walk off some of that lunch. Take care, okay? And text or call me whenever," Alexis offered, giving Kate a supportive hug before shutting the cab door after her.
Kate returned to the precinct feeling much lighter. Sure, she still had to come clean and apologize to Castle, but meeting up with Alexis helped. It helped more than Kate realized it could.
Kate rode the elevator up to the homicide floor, heading straight for Castle. Why is he folding origami by Ryan's desk? Kate shook her head. Nevermind, that's not important.
"Castle," she greeted, letting him become aware of her presence.
He straightened immediately, getting out of his seat.
"Kate," he greeted in surprise.
"We need to talk."
"We need to talk."
Ryan froze, slowly looking up at Castle and Beckett. "Nice to know some things don't change," he muttered in reference to the both of them saying the exact same thing at the same time.
"Come on," Kate said to Castle, gesturing with her head for him to follow her. She led him to the break room, which was thankfully empty.
"Castle, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for keeping things from you, and I want you to know that I'm ready to tell you what happened, but tonight, I promise, at home. Okay?" she asked, holding onto his hand.
"Kate, I know about the takedown. Bree was twenty years old wasn't she? That's why you wanted to meet with Alexis today?"
Her whole body stiffened and Kate took a step backwards, shrinking away from him. Blood drained from her face, leaving her looking ashen as cold terror claimed her body once more. All the good feelings as a result of having lunch with Alexis flew straight out the window.
"How'd you know that?" she whispered. She was telling him the truth when she had said she was ready to tell him what happened, but later that night, at home.
Kate still wanted the rest of the day to try and sort out her emotions, but she forced herself to give Castle that promise so she couldn't back out of it even if she had wanted to.
But he already knew and put the pieces together. She wasn't ready to confront this now.
"I read the write up for yesterday's takedown," he lied, protecting the boys from her wrath. This one was on him.
He saw the moment Kate's terror snapped and was replaced by white-hot fury.
"What the hell, Castle, I asked for you to trust me!" she snapped at him.
The both of them vaguely noticed Esposito standing in the bullpen, waving at them through the blinds to get their attention. Kate held up finger to him, asking for one minute.
She then turned her murderous glare at him.
"Kate, I was worried when Alexis got involved! And you wouldn't share anything with me! What if Alexis and Arriana were in danger? What was I supposed to think?" Castle defended. Sure, Kate was ready to open up to him, but it was too little, too late.
"Don't you think I would know better than to keep information from you if our daughters really were in danger? What the hell!" she raised her voice at him slightly, taking an angry step forward.
Castle strode across to meet her, equally as livid as she was. "You know what, Kate? What the hell right back at you! I'm your husband, you're supposed to share these things with me so I won't have to think of all the possibilities of what might have been the problem or what might have happened as a result of that!"
A knock on the door interrupted the arguing couple.
They both whipped their heads to the source of the sound, matching glares on their faces. Ryan and Esposito took half a step back, but remained in the doorway.
"What?" Kate bit out shortly.
The boys had matching expressions of embarrassment at having to intrude on this private conversation, but they had a job to do.
"Fresh body," Ryan held up a square piece of paper by way of explanation.
His partner quipped, "And Gates seem to be on a war path today, so we should probably head to the scene."
Kate took the slip from Ryan none too gently, releasing a pent up breath in frustration.
"You guys go ahead. We'll be right down," she told them.
Ryan and Esposito nodded, quickly making themselves scarce. Interrupting mom and dad in the middle of their argument was not high on the boys' list of things to do.
"I think I'm going to skip this one," Castle told her tiredly. "I don't want to fight with you, Kate, especially at work. Neither do I want to get you in trouble with Gates."
"Castle…"
She hated leaving a fight unresolved like this.
He looked at her expectantly, but Kate didn't have a better solution. He was right – some space would probably do the both of them good right now.
"I'll see you at home. We'll talk then," she told him, keeping to her word.
He gave her a silent nod and they headed to Kate's desk to collect their respective belongings.
A/N: Weigh in! Please, Please, Pretty Please?