Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. Mistakes are mine.

Chapter 15

(The last one)

Why don't you be the artist,
And make me out of clay.
Why don't you be the writer,
And decide the words I say?

'Cause I'd rather pretend,
I'll still be there at the end.
Only it's too hard to ask,
Won't you try to help me?

Ellie Goulding

The days that followed were spent crying and lying in bed.

Okay... not really.

But the constant question of the exact reason why Edward left so sudden was always on my mind. It didn't make any sense. Why would he go through all the trouble to find me, only to decide one day to just...leave. The best part? I would have been satisfied if he just had the decency to leave a note,( okay, maybe... well...okay, no... probably not) or just explained to me his reason on a stupid little piece of paper, but no...the only thing he did wrote is his short apology. What the fuck was I to do with it? His apology was useless to me. Asshole.

Still, life went on, days passing unbearably slow.

I couldn't be stuck in this apartment where every little thing reminded me of him, so one day, while trying to find an escape, I stumbled into a small bookstore. From that day forward, every day, I would get up to get a coffee and a muffin to go, and went straight to my new sanctuary.

The bookstore was quiet, and on most days, empty, so after picking up a few books, I would find a small place in the back where I would spend most of my time just reading, getting involved in this new world books provided for me.

Still,as the same second my head would lie on the pillow, it all came back to hunt me in my dreams. They were all so vivid. Every little detail clear. From the two story house that was built from scratch, to the porch swing, to a small pool that could be seen just behind the house. And laughter. Lots of loud, happy laughter coming from Edward and Tony as they played hide and seek. Finding my own lips stretching in to a grin as I was secretly watching.

Some days though, I couldn't even find the strength to get up, the dull, dreary, but usual rainy day in Forks portraying my daily mood exactly.

But my thoughts would start running too soon, too ugly, too dark, because as much as the memories in my dreams were mostly happy, there were still nightmares that would follow.

I didn't want any one of them. The happy ones or the bad. It just reminded me of the things I had and even lost. Every night I would hope for them not to follow me, just this one time, one night, but as always, they were there, lurking in the corner. Yelling. Shouting. The screeching of the tires, and the instant, overwhelming pain.

Thankfully, the rain stopped enough for me to at least take a walk down the street. The rent for the next month will soon be asked, and since I mostly spent the money I had for black,rainy days (no pun intended) today's walk had a purpose; to actually find a dump that I could afford.

On the way back, I ran into Mike, offering me the old job back. At first, he wasn't that sure that my "work quality" was as well as before, since my arm was still in a cast. So, as desperately broke as I currently was, I convinced him it would be no problem since my cast would be removed in two days' time, and by then, I could always work as a waitress. He greedily agreed.

At least there was one thing I didn't have to worry about.

Oh God, I forgot just how much I hated to work in this shitty dump of a strip club.

Another shitty day in Forks, Washington.

I didn't earn enough tips tonight (or should I say this morning?) as a waitress as much as I hoped. Business sucked.

I left quite early, my feet hurting as I walked back in a five inch heels, my eyes drooping down, and my stomach asking for food.

Well, fuck you both.

As soon as I opened the door, I lied down on the couch, not even having the strength to remove those stupid fucking shoes.

Stupid fucking nightmare woke me up once again. But for once, it served a point since finally, I was gonna get that stupid fucking cast off me.

After taking a quick shower, brushing my teeth, and wearing the first thing I found in the closet, I grabbed the keys, locking the door behind me.

"Well, Mrs. Cullen, nice to see you again," the doc said, his smile shrinking after taking a cautious look in my direction, and the cranky mood I was in.

"Sure, " I muttered.

"Where is your husband? Did you come alone?" the doc continued, making small talk, a polite smile on his face.

I mean WTF? Why can't the guy just keep his mouth shut and get this fucking cast off of me already?"

"He left."

The frown on his face showed he didn't understand shit.

"He left, as in "went back home, using a transportation to go back home to his precious family."

"Oh," the doc spoke quietly.

"Yeah, 'oh'!" I mocked, starting to let my frustration on him, knowing that he didn't deserve it but not really giving a shit at the moment.

"What I don't understand is why would someone do that? Brag about how much he 'searched' for me, all along talking about how he wants me to come back with him to only disappear the next morning. No goodbyes, nothing! I mean, really, what was the fucking point!? For him to make me...make me...lo...like him, only to mock me? To make fun of me? To prove that he was right all along? What?!"

"I don't know," the doc murmured silently, not knowing what else to say at the moment, taken aback by my outburst.

I sighed, frustrated and relenting, knowing the doc didn't deserve this.

Just as I was about to apologize, he spoke.

"I don't know," he repeated once again.

"This is something only your husband can explain, but what I'm sure is that he had good intentions, whatever they were. I know very little about your husband's situation, what he told me himself...and well, to do something he did for you, to look for somebody..." he stopped, searching for words.

"Mrs Cullen..." he continued.

"Bella," I interrupted him.

He gave a small smile. "Bella. You see, if I have learned anything, it's that we live in a world full of shallowness and hypocrisy, and yes, greed. In my own opinion, the way this world is going, each year there are more and more people who get wed for all the wrong reasons, hoping or at least thinking that if they do that, the marriage will save their relationship. Or maybe even improve their lives. But it only gets more difficult with each year passing. They turn back on each other, cheat on each other, and who knows what else.

And not that I'm defending your husband, but what he did, well, I think that not a lot of guys would do that these days. After three years-or probably even less-I assume they would eventually give up completely."

"What would you do?" I asked, genuinely curious what his own answer would be.

"Hmmm," he spoke, brushing his chin with his fingers, deep in thought.

"I was never in that kind of situation, so unfortunately, I can't really say. But...I certainly hope I would do the same. I'd like to think so, anyway."

Getting out of the clinic, the doc's words still in my mind, I went in search for some food.

Taking a walk as usual, a cup of coffee in hand, and a bagel, lost in my thought, I stumbled into a little place that was for rent. For once, the landlord wasn't an asshole, so we made a fine deal. It wasn't much but, at least looked better than I expected. It was smaller than the previous place, or even this one I was currently staying in, but had character, I guess.

After making my way back to the apartment, I made myself another small snack, starting to pack, piece by piece, looking forward to when I will finally move away, not wanting any kind of related memories to hunt me back.

My eyes soon started to close, wanting some rest, but I didn't let them;focusing more on the cleaning and packing.

It didn't need me that much time since I didn't have that much stuff to begin with.

After checking once again for every little thing that might have been left, even checking below the couch (nothing) and bed, which was covered with thick layer of dust, it looked from the distance like there was something stuck. Maybe some piece of paper?

After who knows how many minutes had past,with a grunt, I finally caught it.

I was right, it was a paper. But not just any kind of paper. It looked like a ticket. A one way ticket, for Chicago. And on it was the same date posted that Edward had probably bought it. The last day he was here. Before he left me.

Another puzzle I just couldn't solve.

Was it his? Had he somehow forgot it, in result of only having to buy a new one, again?

And how did it get under the bed?

Or maybe, just maybe, the ticket wasn't his? Was it possible that it had been bought for ...me?

Still, the same question once again remained...how did it get lost all the way under the bed?

Was it possible that Edward had put the ticket beside the note I found on my pillow, only somehow, by the movement of the mattress-mine or maybe his- as light as it was, fell down?

Yeah, seems very stupid, doesn't it? I shook my head, smiling to myself mockingly at the stupidity that was still twirling in my mind, throwing it in the garbage. I was reading too much into it. Reading too much books had that impact on you.

"What can I get you boys?" I asked, a fake smile on my face.

The assholes were drunk, it was obvious, and rather touchy. I hated this fucking job. Each day, I hated it more, but somehow had the strength to held my head up high, and walk right back in.

Tonight was different. I hated the annoying music, disgusting fucking customers, the bitchy bartenders...everything.

What bothered me the most right now, was the unfamiliar hands that were on my body.

I tried to tell the horny motherfucker as nicely as I could to keep his hands off me, but he wouldn't. The asshole, smirked, thinking this was some kind of game.

After I somehow remembered the order, my stomach made me nauseous on the way back, the same asshole waited exactly eight seconds before putting his arms on my ass, squeezing it once,hard, just as I was putting their drinks down.

"I said no fucking touching. What the hell don't you understand?" I growled.

He grinned, trying to pull me down on his lap. I struggled to stay at my place, but even drunk, his weight was stronger than mine.

"Don't be like that sugar. I only want some company,that's all."

I somehow got up, removing his hands from me, once again. "Then you should ask one of the dancers for that, not me. I'm just a waitress."

"Well...I'm sure we can work something out...what do you say sugar?" he asked, giving me his disgustingly perverted grin, and something that should have looked like a wink, but looked more like he was having a seizure than anything else.

"In your dreams asshole..." I said, my smile snarky and innocent all at once, then took his drink and poured it all over him. The satisfaction of putting him on his place didn't last long.

"The fuck bitch!"

"Gentlemen, what is going on in here? Is there a problem?" Mike asked, suddenly appearing from nowhere.

"The bitch here..." he spoke loudly but I cut him off.

"This gentleman here," I snarled the word, "didn't quite listen when I tried to explain to him for the fifth time that the touching is off limits here..."

Mike took a good look at both of us before he excused himself, asking me politely to follow him to his office, offering the offended customer a free drink, and some blond bimbo with fake tits to entertain him.

Once closing the door, Mike started to yell.

"What the fuck was that all about?"

"I just followed the rules, trying to explain the same rules to the ugly asshole as much as I could, but he wouldn't listen, so I gave him what he deserved."

"Firstly, that asshole is our often visitor and is supposed to be treated with respect. Secondly,he is also filthy fucking rich and one of the reason why this club is still running. Every night he leaves more than ten grand to this club, and I don't intend on losing him. So, you better listen carefully to what you're going to do: You're going to apologize, then do anything he asks of you. If he wants a fucking lap dance from you, then you will be there to fucking give it to him. And if he wants to fuck you, you'll drag him to the private room, and damn well give what he deserves. Are we clear on that?"

"No. I'm not a whore!"

"You are exactly what I order you to be, got it?" he spoke menacingly.

"Fuck you!" I spat.

Mike suddenly pushed me against the door, his voice filled with anger, threatening me. My arms were pushed violently in the air by him, holding me between his body, like a prisoner, not being able to move an inch, feeling his disgusting breath on my face.

"I've had enough of your attitude for the past three years. Now you better go back there or..."

"Or what?"

His smile was down-right creepy.

"Or you get fired. But if you scratch my back I'll scratch yours, simple as that."

"What the fuck do you mean by that?"

He came even closer to my face,starting to give me small disgusting kisses on my neck.

"If you suck me off, all of this misunderstanding will go away."

I tried to move my arms, but he was too strong.

"Mmmm," I purred,licking my parched mouth, " sounds like a deal handsome,but I'm going to need my hands for that."

The motherfucker let me go instantly, and that's when I kicked him as hard in the nuts as I could, and he quickly fell to the floor with a loud groan.

"You whore..." he moaned, still holding himself by the balls.

"You are fucking disgusting! You know, I knew you weren't a saint, but at least I respected you. I see now that Edward was right all along, you are a first grade asshole. I'm getting outta here, and if you ever, ever try to find me, I swear I will chop your balls off. Got it dickhead?!"

He nodded,groaning in pain.

And with that, I slammed the door of his office, feeling light and free, like I hadn't in years.

Of course, as I was now lying on the bed, it was a completely different situation. As of tonight, I had no job, barely any money, and no home. Well, actually, the last part wasn't true-the deadline of moving out was tomorrow, but the place I had stumbled upon wasn't even something I liked, more picked out of convenience than anything else.

This was the first day in my life where I had no plan, no back up.

"You could always go back," a very tiny voice in my head suddenly whispered.

"Go where?" I asked, like an idiot, talking with myself.

"To Chicago, you silly."

I snorted. Right, like anyone would want me there.

"Tony would. Remember him? I bet he misses you."

Ah, yes, that little bugger.

"You miss him too," the little voice whispered again.

"You know, you're getting quite annoying," I whispered, knowing it was true, but not wanting to admit the voice was right.

The voice smiled, a bit smug. "I know."

"But he doesn't need me, nobody does. He has everybody. Esme, Edward..."

"Except his mother," the silent voice added."Now stop being a little shit, get up, and go to him."

"But," I started complain, but the voice of my conscious was no longer there, disappearing as quickly as it had come.

Without thinking, my feet were pulling me to get up, and walk to the dresser, wanting for me to get dressed. I didn't want to think about anything too much, because as much as the voice in my head was annoying, it was right. I was behaving once again like a selfish person, thinking only about myself when this kid needed me. At least I hoped he did. Sure, maybe nobody wanted me there but him, but I had to lift my head up high, and not care about anything but him. I had to be strong.

There was no time for thinking.

I concentrated on the movement of my feet, and tried to put my fears behind.

When everything was packed and ready to go, I took one last look at the place I had spent my time, the before I closed the firmly.

Along the way, I found a phone booth, calling the land lady that I won't be moving in, after all. I could feel a bit of anger in her voice, and maybe even disappointment,but I didn't give a shit.

I had to first find a cab to drive me to Seattle, then find any airport so I could buy my airline ticket.

Two and a half hours later, I found a direct flight but still had some time before the passengers would be called.

Because I didn't eat anything and my stomach demanded food, I bought myself a small snack, and a bottle of water.

Thankfully, I didn't have to wait for long until my flight was ready. As I got up, walking towards it, I suddenly got stopped by a small body, wrapping its hands around my leg, calling for someone I wasn't.

"Mommy! I knew you'd come back.I told daddy so, but he wouldn't listen. Where have you been?"

I froze in place, looking at this little creature, hugging my leg so tight, not wanting to let go.

"Uh...kid...you have to let me go."

He just shook his head.

"Look at me, I'm not your mom."

Hearing this, he looked right through me, realizing this himself, making a little "o" face before slowly letting me go.

He was still looking at me in wonder with his little cute eyes, just standing there.

I crouched down to his level, looking left and right for anyone who might have known this kid, maybe a parent running towards me, but no, no such thing.

"What's you name kid?"

"Diego," he answered.

The way he looked, all curly hair, small brown eyes, wiping at his nose with a hand, realizing just now that he might be lost, he somehow reminded me very much of...well, Tony. The way he probably used to look when he was just a little boy.

I tried to smile. "Diego, do you have a daddy or someone who came with you here?"

He nodded then, looking around for him. As soon as he saw him, he pointed at the man -that was walking quickly towards us- with his index finger.

"Yes. Daddy. There."

"Oh shi...crap. Diego, where have you been?! I told you a thousand times not to run a way like that, you scared me."

"Sorry daddy."

"It's okay, just don't do it again."

The kid nodded, and the man lifted him in his arms.

"I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay. He somehow got into his head that I was his mommy and...well..."

The man frowned, sadness overwhelming his face, but gave me a small smile. Or at least tried to.

"She isn't with us anymore."

Oh." I spoke, my voice quiet. I was curious if in fact this meant that she died or just left them, but wasn't something I could just ask a complete stranger.

"I'm sorry."

"Thank you. Well, we should go, we have a plane to catch."

"Yeah, me too. It was nice meeting you kid." I said, taking his small hand, shaking it. He grinned, even let out a giggle.

"Well, thanks again. Have a nice flight."

"You too. Bye Diego."

He waved, and then they were gone.

As soon as I got into a cab, the question "where to?" was something that needed to be answered quickly, and to be honest, I hadn't thought this far. So I asked for an advice, the best place to stay, and the driver drove me to a small bed and breakfast . After I payed him, and got my bag out, I quickly booked a room for the night. It was small, sure, but clean, and cozy.

As I got out to take a walk the next day, I realized I somehow relied on myself to if not remember, then at least have some kind of guidance as to where I'm going. But there was none, and I started to freak out because none of this was familiar to me.

An hour later, I realized that I was just too freaking tired to walk any further, so I got back.

Lying on my bed, I remembered that I could ask if they have internet. Thankfully, they did, and I found myself in a small room that only had two very old but still working computers. It took a while but when I finally connected, the first site I went to was called 'white pages', searching for Edward. It was obvious that he was not the only Edward Cullen in Chicago, so I searched for those who were closest to me, hoping like hell that one of them is the real deal, the one I'm actually looking for.

After quickly eating my lunch, I stormed away, my day already planned.

Some of the addresses were close enough to take a walk, and some were a bit further than I thought. But none of them were him.

Two hours later, I was standing at the last house, hoping like hell this was the one I was hoping for. Paying the cab driver 35 $, I slowly walked over.

As instantly as I saw it, I got a quick, unclear memory of it, the way it looked before as to now. The first time Edward and I decided to buy it. How happy both of us were when we finally moved in. How much time and money it took us to make the house look beautiful, how much time and sweat it took for me to plant every single flower and tree into a front yard. How with every little blow of the wind, you could feel a faint smell of roses and tulips.

After a few moments, I finally made my feet move, nervously took a breath or two before rang the doorbell, once... twice...it was obvious no one was there. Of course, just my luck.

I started to walk back to the bed and breakfast, barely taking a few steps when I caught a familiar face, just on the other side of the street.

And the other not so familiar faces.

Once again, I found myself getting closer to ring the doorbell. Waiting stupidly.

A young blond suddenly opened the door.

"Bella? Is that you?"she asked in shock.

How did she know my name?

"Yes. Is... is Edward here?"

She nodded. "Yes. Of course. Come in."

I shook my head. " I'd rather wait here."

"Sure. Okay. I'll call him for you."

A nod. A nervous gulp.

Be brave Bella. Don't give in no matter what he says.

"Bella," he gasped, walking closer to me."You're...You're here..." A faint smile started to form on his face.

"Who's that blond bitch?" I suddenly blurted, feeling angry. Jealous.

"What?" he asked, a frown on his face.

"You heard me. Who's the blond? Is that your new girl?"

"No. Of course not. She's just my cousin. Tanya came because she wanted to brag about her new fiance."

"Oh."

Still sounds like a whore's name.

Only until Edward gave a small smirk did I realize that I said that out loud.

"You never did like her." Few moments later he spoke, "I still can't believe you came. That you're here."

"Not for you," I answered coldly.

His face somber now, losing its spark of happiness.

"Listen Bella I'm just so.."

"I don't care about your stupid apologies or anything you want to say. I came to see Tony. Nobody else."

"You can't..."

"Why the fuck not?!" I yelled, interrupting him once more. "I'm his mother. I can do anything I want."

"He's asleep."

"Oh, "I said, once again, feeling stupid.

He suddenly closed the door, walking closer to me. I took a step back.

"I know you don't want to hear anything I have to say, I get that but..."

"Honestly I don't give a flying fuck about your reasons or your story." Yet, I stood there. Like an idiot.

"Then why are you still standing there?" his words challenging me.

"Fuck you," I said, turning my back on him and storming away.

"The only reason I left is to avoid something like this...and yet, you still did what you do best, didn't you?" He yelled.

I turned around, pissed more than before. "I don't do that. I never run away from my problems."

"Don't you?"he asked, lifting his eyebrow, defying me.

Shit, he might be right, but that was not something I'd easily admit.

I stormed back, my face in his. "Fine. Go ahead. Explain your pathetic reasons. I'm dying to hear how all you did, including you turning back on me was because you "love me." Because it was for "my own good". Go ahead. Lie to my face. "

He grabbed me by the elbow "I did love you." he sneered. Then a bit softer,yet more intense, "I do love you."

I snorted. "Right."

"I only left you because I knew, could see in your eyes how much you didn't want to go, how much I was forcing you. I didn't want that. To force you, only to happen that years later, maybe even months or days, you finally get tired of us and leave us."

His voice softened as he spoke once again. "I pictured it over and over that night as you lied next to me-how your face would be full of hatred and disappointment as you turn your back on Tony and me, leaving us without looking back-and just the thought of leaving us once again...it broke my fucking heart Bella. So that early morning,I was the one who left, leaving you a choice-to come back when you were ready-which you did- or stay where you are, in Washington,living as nothing had happened."

I sighed, rubbing my tired face. Shit, the excuse wasn't that lousy as I thought it would be. It was almost sort of...believable.

With another sigh, I said, "You're an asshole."

"I know," was all he said.

"Good. Because you are. If only you asked, you would have known that I would go anywhere if only you explained. Or if you said anything. Asked anything like this. Anything at all. Jesus, you really do like playing a hero."

"No, I don't, " he said simply. Honestly.

I waited for more, but he was silent. Not saying another word.

"I found the ticket," I spoke after a few moments of silence, waiting for explanation.

"Good," he said, saying nothing else. A small, barely noticeable smile told me what I already suspected.

A sudden movement of his hand made his way to my cheek, rubbing it softly, smoothly.

I should have moved away, but I didn't. Couldn't. It was already too late. I was his. Always was.

A small sound of doors opening made us look away from each other.

It was Esme. She looked ten times lovelier than she did on the pictures.

"Edward, would you like to bring Bella in? I'm sure she's tired, or at least thirsty."

"Oh, I don't know..."

"Please...join us," she pleaded nicely. Something about that look she gave. Soft, kind...almost motherly. And looking at me like that nonetheless, like I was a part of her family...like she truly cared how I am, and not just asking out of politeness.

"Okay. We'll be right there."

She nodded, satisfied with my answer, walking back in to the house.

"Listen Edward...I...I guess I can somehow understand why you did what you did, but from now on, will you promise not to do anything irrational before asking me? Talk to me before deciding on doing something stupid like...well...this. Okay?"

He gave a tiny smile. "I will...if..."

"If what?" I asked.

"If...you promise you'll stay. Here. For good."

I nodded. "I will."

He took a step or two until we once again face to face. Then he leaned in, and took my mouth in his; careful yet gentle. Soft.

"We still have a lot to talk about, you know that?" I asked.

"I know. We will."

"Good." A pause. "And you know that...well...that I li...love you too, right?"

The grin he showed was beautiful.

"I do now."

As we entered the house, Edward ushered me towards the living room.

There, was Carlisle lying on the couch, resting, seeing me and sending me a small surprised but approved smile. A smile of welcome.

I didn't know where that bitch Tanya had left, but I was glad that she wasn't here at the moment. However, there was another man sitting besides Carlisle.

Seeing my confusion, the guy got up and introduced himself as David, Tanya's fiance.

He seemed nice. And quite handsome.

I got closer to Carlisle then, crouching down and asking politely how he was. There was still a smile on his face, even though he looked still a bit weak, but Carlisle was probably like one of those people who could live up to a hundred years.

Just as I was about to get up, there was a small sound of a yawn. I turned to see Esme holding a little guy by his small hand, while he was rubbing his eyes.

"Look who just got up." Esme announced.

Once my eyes were on him, they didn't want to focus on anything else. He looked older then at the pic Edward had shown hair a little longer, his features a bit more proportional, older.

As soon as he saw me, his eyes widened from wonder, amazement.

He didn't run next to me, no, instead of slowly approaching, his eyes on me the whole time, still not believing what he sees.

I once again crouched down, not knowing what exactly to do.

He took another good look before lifting his hand, taking a small stray of hair, touching and examining it.

After a moment, he let it go only to lift his hand, and land it on my face, touching it, checking something, stretching it before looking at my eyes again. Staring.

I didn't know what to do, and was starting to panic for a bit when he finally spoke softly. Whispering.

"It's really you."

"It's me."

He hugged me then, strongly around my neck, putting his head on my shoulder.

I hugged him too, as much as I could, equally as strong.

"Don't leave me again."

"I won't."

"You promise? Pinky swear?"

"Yes. I swear."

I wiped my eyes, quickly taking a look at Edward. He was smiling huge, happiness written all over his face.

Esme was next to him, silent tears falling down her face. I gave her an encouraging smile. She smiled back.

"Welcome home," she mouthed to me.

"Thank you," I mouthed back.

THE END.

Where the doors are moaning all day long
Where the stairs are leaning dusk to dawn
Where the windows are breathing in the light
Where the rooms are a collection of our lives

This is a place where I don't feel alone
This is a place that I call my home.

Cinematic Orchestra

Thank you guys so much for reading my lousy stories and anyone who followed, favorited it, and of course reviewed.

The playlist for UNV is : (yes, you can skip this if you're not interested, I won't mind, as I'm sure most of them will)

1. Turn me on - Norah Jones

2. Nearness of you - Norah Jones

3. Prettiest thing - Norah Jones

4. Shake it out - Florence and the machine

5. Undisclosed desires - Muse

6. I belong to you - Muse ( this song is here mostly bc of Frenchward in chapter 8)

7. My love - Sia

8. Mirrors - Justin Timberlake (don't really listen to him, but the first time I heard this song, I knew I had to put it in the playlist for UNV)

9. My fault - Imagine Dragons

10. That home - Cinematic Orchestra