My sorrow, when she's here with me,
Thinks these dark days of autumn
rain
Are beautiful as days can be;
She loves the bare, the withered tree;
She walks the sodden pasture lane.

Robert Frost

Simon slammed the bench he was setting on with his fist, cracking the stylized boards that he sat on, just as a passing couple went by gazing wide eyed at him and hurried past.

He pushed his thoughts of grief and sorrow away, and replacing with a blind rage. A rage for Sebastian, he was the cause of this, and a rage to himself for not protecting her anyways, despite her claims she could herself.

He stood up and stuffed his hands in his pockets, he didn't need the coat but he knew if he was to blend in to the mundane world he had to have it, although he didn't feel the chill in the air, and he figured even if he could feel it, he wouldn't he just felt numb.

He walked forward, in long gliding strides toward the Institute, toward the only person he knew may be able to help him through his grief, the only friend he's had since he could remember.

Clary.

He hoped she wasn't with Jace, although she was always with Jace, but he needed her now and he hoped Jace would understand that although Jace never really understood anyone else's feelings but his own, and sometimes Simon didn't even think the understood his own.

Simon sighed slowly as he reached up to push his glasses back on his nose, and remembered once again that he no longer wore them. Feeling completely dumb to himself he walked on, as two passing girls, about high school age passed whispering to each other and giggling.

Simon knew that no doubt they were giggling at him, and whereas he would usually blush, even if he couldn't now being a vampire, he knew in the current situation he may not have anyways, no with the cold feeling in the pit of his stomach, no matter how he tried to push the thought away from his mind, the sorrow still returned, she was gone.

Isabelle was gone.

He sucked in a deep breath as the cool autumn wind blew leaves around him, and stirred his dark brown hair into his eyes.

He moved forward, and stopped to gaze up at the steps of the Institute.

He looked around to be sure nobody was watching him before he moved up the steps and took a deep breath before knocking on the great doors that lead to the cathedral.

Simon waited as he watched the bitter wind blow through the streets below and human life carried on as if nothing had happened, and to them nothing had, yeah sure they may have lost loved ones but they went on, they had the comfort of knowing someday they would be reunited with the departed, but Simon knew he had no such hope, he had nothing to look forward to but a immortal life of sadness.

He looked up at the bright blue sky, as he thought of how depressing it would be, and wondered why he would think such a depressing thing at this time, he was already in grief as it was, he didn't need to add to it, as he drowned in his pity of depressed thoughts, he heard faint frantic footsteps coming from inside, and he turned his head as the large doors creaked opened.

And in the doorway pale and breathing as if she had run a marathon of 55 miles straight, was Clary, her red hair sticking up all over her head as if she had brushed it with a hay rake, her eyes were wide and very green, she wore a white shirt that showed off her pale freckled arms, and a pair of old jeans.

"Simon!" she gasped, as if in surprise, he smiled weakly at her.

"Hey." He replied softly, a nagging ache pulled at him, something was wrong, "Is everything okay?"

"Um…" Clary began as she looked behind her, her voice trailed off, as Simon tried to peer over her shoulder to see what was happening inside. She looked back to him and Simon looked up at her, her expression tight, her mouth in a straight line.

"Yes…but I can't talk right now, do you think you can come back later?"

"Later?" he mumbled, as he played with the cuff of his jacket, "Look, Clary I really need to talk to you…"

He looked down and slowly back up at Clary who looked at him, the pained sadness in her eyes told him everything, she knew he was hurting but she had no idea how to comfort him, Simon stood awkwardly as the cool wind blew his hair, and the heat from the inside the Institute hit him from the front, it was like he was trapped between two worlds, he tried not to laugh out loud at the thought that he was actually trapped between two worlds, two very different worlds.

"Oh, Simon," Clary whispered as she came from the doorway and hugged him tightly, she wrapped her small arms around his waist and rested her head just below his collar bone, Simon returned the hug, wrapping his long arms around Clary's back as he buried his face in her hair.

I will not cry, he commanded himself, as Clary drew away and looked up at him,

Simon ran the back of his hand across his face and blurted out, "I went to the cemetery today…"

Clary's eyes shone a bright green as they seemed to darken, her voice came out shaky.

"And what did you find there?"

Simon squared his shoulders and looked out at the mundane life around them, he knew they couldn't see them which made it all the better.

"More grief and sorrow…sadness…" he told her softly, his voice pained.

Clary tapped her foot against the steps, as she followed Simon's gaze, he looked back at her.

"Are you sure everything is okay?" he asked whispering,

Clary nodded, "Yeah." But Simon knew her voice well, and she too sounded sad and tired…

He sighed, and closed his eyes before blinking back tears as his memories of being here tried to edge back into his memory, he opened his eyes again to find Clary looking at him, her expression soft and comforting, talking to her always seemed to find a way to make him feel better, even in the darkest moments, but even this time, the sadness still tugged at the corners of his still heart.

He put his hands back in his pockets and decided to try and engage in a conversation with Clary, his best friend, the only thing that grounded him to his former human, mortal life.

"So…I'm surprised Jace isn't here using his cocky wit to make fun of me?" Simon asked Clary in a roundabout way, not unkindly but not without bitterness either.

Clary sighed slowly and shook her head, "No, they aren't here."

"They?" Simon raised an eyebrow.

Clary looked around awkwardly, before mumbling, Simon had to lean closer to hear what she had said,

"Yes. Jace and Alec went somewhere, somewhere with Maryse."

"Oh."

Clary nodded and kept gazing back inside the Institute, as if something was going to pop up at any second, Simon looked into the darkness of the large stone building, the old church used to be frightening to Simon but now he knew he could enter it didn't frighten him as much as it once had.

"Are you sure you are alright?" Simon asked her, he knew something was wrong, but it seemed Clary had gotten really good at hiding things from him, something he knew once was nearly impossible they always knew when someone was wrong with each other and Simon hated not knowing.

"Yes, yes Simon I'm fine." She answered, beginning to sound a little annoyed,

"Okay…" he replied and looked at her full on, "You do know you can tell me anything right?"

She paused and looked at him, Simon gazed at Clary, he searched her eyes as she searched his face for something, what he wasn't quite sure of, it was like she was reaching for his soul through his eyes, looking for something there something that would tell her all she needed, now if only he knew what that may be.

"Yes…" she finally said, after several minutes never taking her eyes off of Simon, he blinked and looked puzzled. "I know I can, but sometimes Simon things must wait."

She turned from him and walked back up toward the doorway, Simon watched as she turned.

"Uh…okay?" he was confused as Clary laughed,

"Don't worry, it's not anything overly terrible, just I don't think you're ready for my news yet."

News? What more news could he take after the tragedy at hand?

"News?"

Clary nodded with a gleam in her eyes as she began to shut the door, but Simon stopped her.

"Clary."

She stopped and looked at him blinking several times, "Yes Simon?"

"I was wondering." He swallowed hard, suddenly not wanting to be alone, "I was wondering if you'd like to come out to eat with me, at Taki's I mean you said nobody is home and I'm all alone, Jordon and Maia went on some vacation to New Jersey for the week, I'm not sure when they'll be back."

Clary looked at him as the gleam in her eyes deepened, and a sadness returned.

"Simon if I could I would, but I can't right now, but soon later maybe, I'll call you?"

Simon stopped, he suddenly felt more cold then he ever had, he needed her now and Jace wasn't there at the moment, nor was anyone else, but still she had no time for him either, it seemed nobody ever did when Shadowhunter business was in play.

"Yeah, sure…whatever I guess." He murmured and kicked some leaves off the steps, Clary smiled weakly,

"I'm sorry, I'll explain soon, okay? Promise, you need to go home and get plenty of sleep okay, I'll call you later."

"Yeah, okay." He answered, as she waved and shut the doors of the Institute as he hopped down the stairs two at a time, and looked back up at the large stone doors before turning and walking back the way he came through the cold autumn wind.