Disclaimer: All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just playing in her sandbox.
Chapter 26 Isle Esme, Acceptance
EPOV
"Edward, the baby and I are just fine."
It was as though my hearing had temporarily failed, as though the words that I saw her lips forming had somehow become lost in the air over the distance they had to travel to go from her lips to my ears. She leaned in and whispered in my ear, "Sweetheart, we're having a baby. I know you said it wasn't possible, but I'm pregnant and you are going to be a daddy!"
What? I was going to be a what? This must be a side effect of some sort to the falling asleep that I had been doing. I seem to be caught in the middle of a conversation that could not be taking place, it could not be real. I forced myself to answer, to address what I thought she had said.
"A baby, Bella? . . . A baby . . . you and I . . . but . . . but it's not possible. I wish it was, but it's just not possible, love!", I said as I rubbed the backs of her hand with my thumb, hoping to comfort her when she realized that her words were all a dream.
"Edward, my period is late, I'm nauseous, food tastes different to me than it did a month ago, I can't possibly get enough sex no matter how many times we make love and I throw up in the middle of the night. I'm pregnant, sweetheart."
I was dumbfounded. Especially about the sex. I didn't know whether to be worried about her health, or excited for the sex! Dear God I need to make this woman into a vampire so that I can go as crazy as she wants me to! Wait . . . what did she say? BABY?
I couldn't move. I had completely shut down, save for trying to figure out what it was she was trying to tell me. Baby, she thinks we're having a baby? God I hope she is alright, I hope I haven't pushed her over the edge. This must be why she accepts everything about me so readily . . . the blood, the hunting, the claiming her . . . it just finally got to her and she snapped. She just wanted us to work so badly that she had deluded herself into believing we can be a normal couple, have a normal life with a family. I have to reason with her, call Carlisle . . . perhaps there is a doctor in Rio that can help.
I drug myself back over the desperate planes of my mind to allow my body to connect with it and function again. I had to remain calm. I had to help her, she had to be alright. This woman was my whole world. I took a breath and held her hands in mine again.
"Let's just go to the doctor in Rio and check it out, love. You probably have an odd Brazilian flu of some description that we are just not familiar with", I told her softly, convincingly, willing her to listen. I used every ounce of persuasion and all my ability to dazzle her as I spoke to her.
She looked at me like I was an errant child, a slight gleam in her eye.
"Don't be silly. I'm not getting on that boat and getting sick for an hour there and an hour back just to be told what I already know", she said with a soft determination. She looked around to find her suitcase, only to realize that the luggage had never made it off the boat and into the house. We had come straight to the bedroom and bypassed everything else when we had arrived.
"If you want to be helpful, go and get the suitcases for me."
"Bella, I think we should just leave the suitcases on the boat and head back", I started gathering clothing from the floor to hand to her, "I really want you looked at by a doctor, love."
"Edward! You are really starting to exasperate me!", she said picking up my phone from beside her on the bed. I had no idea how my phone had gotten there, it had been in the pocket of my jeans when I kicked them off last night. She quickly dialed the phone and began talking.
"Hi! Yes, we're fine, we came to the island today! Yes, I love it Esme, thank you and Carlisle so much for giving us this gift, the timing is just perfect! No, no. Can I speak to Carlisle, please? Yes."
She continued with her conversation, all the while tracing patterns on my arm and thigh with her free hand as we sat naked facing each other on the huge bed. I had no idea what she hoped to prove with this, but at the very least she was consulting a doctor and the only doctor that I really trusted.
"Carlisle, yes we are fine. Well, I thought he was going into shock or something, he was a statue for several minutes and now he is acting like I have lost my mind and wanting to get me to a doctor. Yes, of course he's overprotective, isn't he always. Yes. Can you please talk to him for me. Okay, here he is."
She handed me the phone. "Carlisle", I said putting the phone to my ear, my eyes never leaving my wife.
"Edward, congratulations son! It looks like you are going to be a parent after all."
I hardly registered what he said, I heard the words, but I just couldn't accept their meaning.
"How is that even possible, Carlisle, I can't have children. You said so", I stated in disbelief.
"Edward, there has never been a couple like you and Bella, it seems that there are lots of firsts here. Female vampires cannot have children because their bodies can not change. Bella's body can. Maybe it has never happened because no other male vampires had the self control that you have to be with her and not kill her, Edward. At any rate, she is in fact pregnant."
"Carlisle, how did you know?", I asked him, my mind trying to wrap around this.
"I did the blood test a day or two before you left, Edward. She came to me. She already knew and had bought one of those drug store tests to confirm it", Carlisle explained.
"And Bella . . . ", I asked, "the legends, Carlisle."
"Relax Edward. I know you tend to overreact and there is just cause for concern. I'm not saying this is going to be easy and it will be dangerous . . . certainly more dangerous than a normal human pregnancy. I already explained to Bella the possible dangers and the fact that we would have to do a Cesarean section to deliver the baby. It seems to be progressing about a third faster than a normal human, from the ultrasound she appears to be about six weeks, though the date of her last menstrual cycle has it at only four weeks. Either way, she should be just fine away from home right now and I'll be there in 10 days or so, anyway, so just relax. Edward . . . it really is a miracle, son. Congratulations."
I hung up the phone and just sat there starring into her eyes.
"We're having a baby, Bella! We're having a baby!", I said as I hugged her to me, jumping off the bed and swinging her around in circles while I kissed her lips.
"I know, sweetheart, I know", she said as she gently stroked my cheek. "Are you alright with this, Edward? Is it alright? I know we have never really thought about it, well of course we didn't think we could so it wasn't something we ever had to discuss but I just hope that this doesn't change anything between us because I just love you so much and now I really love this baby. I just don't want you to think that I was lying to you all along, telling you that I didn't want children, that I didn't care about it. I don't want children, Edward, I just want your child. Do you understand, only because it is a part of you", she cupped my face in her hands to emphasize what she was saying to me.
She was speaking rapidly, working herself up into a frenzy.
"Bella, I love you. If we can safely have this baby, then I would love to have a child with you", I told her as I kissed her lips and nuzzled her neck.
I pulled away from her, staring directly into her eyes, willing her to really hear the next words that I had to say to her, desperate for her to acknowledge the danger. I didn't want her to think me a monster for not caring about my own child, not putting the child first, but I wanted to be clear -
"Please understand though, if there is ever a choice between you and the baby, you are my priority. I can't live without you and I won't loose you. I'm willing to try, if Carlisle agrees that it is possible Bella, but I won't jeopardize your life."
"I love you", she said as she kissed me again.
I was scared to death. Carlisle assured me she was safe for now and I didn't want to disappoint her or bring in all the gloom and doom, but I knew the legends all too well and I wasn't sure Carlisle had shared those with her. I would have to, though . . . I had promised her no secrets. I understood her delay in telling me about the baby, having me here on our own island alone was just the right setting to tell me so that we had to face each other and I would see her joy and be able to control my fear instead of rushing her back to Carlisle to have it removed from her.
This baby was a danger to my wife and though I already had feelings for the unborn child she carried, I refused to take any chances with Bella. I convinced myself to just take it one day at a time and we would see if this were possible.
My attention was drawn back to my wife who I was hugging to me.
"Bella", the name escaped my lips like a whisper of wind.
I was over her in our bed before she noticed that we had moved, kissing her way harder than was normal for me. She was so into it, she grasped me even harder now, stroking up and down almost violently. God it turned me on beyond belief as I strained every fiber of my being not to hold her too tight or bruise her as I rocked into her underneath me. I breathed in her smell, her taste as our tongues danced and all of a sudden it was too much . . . I wanted her too badly. My back arched as I fought the urge to squeeze my arms around her, to hold her to me. I placed a hand on either side of her shoulders and allowed the inhuman sounds that were building in my chest to escape my lips.
I was afraid to open my eyes, sure that I had scared her.
She was mine, this was my wife and my baby. I made love to my wife again and again as I slowly moved her body up the bed from the force of my actions. She tangled her hands in my hair and had I been human, I'm sure she would have had clumps of it in her hands and blood under her fingernails. She threw her hear back into the pillows and screamed just as a loud, feral growl coming from somewhere deep in my chest as I released as a loud, primal scream that resembled the word 'mine'.
I froze, stopped cold. Unmoving. What had I done! Dear God, please don't let me have hurt her . . . or the baby . . .
I tucked my head down to her shoulder, the lack of tears didn't lessen my sobs. I was crying like a baby on my wife's shoulder as the first rays of sunshine filled our room.
"It's okay, sweetheart", she said as her arms wrapped around my head and shoulders and she clung to me, stroking me lovingly all the while trying to calm me, "I'm fine, Edward. I'm really really fine, you didn't hurt me baby. I'm fine."
She pushed on my face with her hands, to no avail. I did not budge.
"Edward . . . Edward," she called to me calmly as she continued to stroke me, trying to move my face with her hands. I gave in, allowing her to place both of her hands on my cheeks and cup my face in them.
"Look at me. Edward, look at me", she insisted.
I opened my eyes to stare into the molten chocolate eyes of the only thing that mattered in my life. She was smiling at me, glowing really.
"It's alright, sweetheart. You didn't hurt me . . . you would never hurt me. You just needed to claim what's yours, baby. It's okay, I was hoping you would."
"Bella", the name escaped my lips with no intent from me.
"I hoped you would accept the baby, Edward and I knew that this would be your natural response when you did . . . you needed to claim us. Vampire, remember? You don't always have normal human reactions", her eyes twinkled as she spoke to me, stroking my face softly.
"How could you possibly know, Bella, how is it that you know me better than I know myself?", I said staring longingly into her eyes.
'It's my job to know you, husband. I love you", she said kissing my lips.
"Um . . . Edward", she asked softly, almost embarrassed, " . . . can . . . can we do that again?"
"What! No! No we most certainly can not, Bella! I could have hurt you, hurt the baby", I said as I looked down her body to her flat belly.
I timidly, almost reverently stroked her stomach, "Bella you're so thin, are you sure there is a baby in there?"
She pushed me as if to move me off of her and I gave in and rolled to one side of course.
"How about getting our suitcases", she asked as she stood by the bed with her hands on her hips.
I reached for my pants as she placed her hand on my wrist to stop me.
"No. No clothes. This is our island for the next couple of weeks and there are no clothes allowed!", she told me with a twinkle in her eyes.
I was back before she had time to move from where she was standing by the bed. I placed the cases on the floor and the one she had packed on the stand by the dresser. She handed me a small box from the suitcase, gesturing to me to open it.
In the box, nestled in tissue paper, was the test indicator - two red stripes, a positive for pregnancy. I still couldn't believe it. Beside it in the box was a small round pin, the type that people wanting to be elected to office have produced with slogans on it. This one simply said, 'I'm going to be a daddy!'
"Bella, how can I wear my pin if you ban clothing while we are here?"
She laughed, "Silly vampire, you can wear it when we go back to Rio to go dancing! Right now, your pregnant wife is really really hungry! What do we do about food on out deserted island?"
I took her hand and led her downstairs to the kitchen. I looked in the refrigerator and turned to ask her what she wanted.
"I called and had the caretakers, Kature and Gustavo, stock the kitchen. What would you like, love? Eggs and bacon with toast alright?"
"Sounds wonderful, I'm so hungry."
"I haven't been feeding you enough, love. I'll have to remember much more often now . . . now that it's not just you that you are eating for."
I stopped dead in my tracks, the little button claiming I was going to be a daddy had become the focus of my attention, it was still in my hand. Bella got off her stool and walked over to me, putting her arms around my shoulders, "It's okay, Edward. I'm really okay and we will get through this together. We can take it one step at a time, together. And as for my request, you know, 'doing it again', you need to know that I mean it."
What was she thinking. We couldn't have sex like that with her pregnant, it might hurt the baby! I didn't want to upset her, but she had to understand.
"Bella, I can't. I won't risk hurting you and the baby while you are pregnant. We can make love after you have the baby, after you are changed. God, I just realized, this means you are not going to be changed right after Christmas, doesn't it!"
"Is that alright, Edward, that I stay human a little longer?"
"Of course it is, it's alright if you are always human, love", I told her.
She knew me too well.
"Tell me, she said as she put her fork down having finished her breakfast. You promised we would discuss everything, remember?"
"Bella, I just . . . it's just that . . . I've been", how would I ever tell her this now that we were expecting a child. I needed her to know, but I didn't want her to be upset. I had to tell her, we had promised each other to always discuss everything and make no decisions without discussing it.
"Bella I have been having more and more trouble being gentle, not hurting you when we are intimate. It is increasingly difficult to make love to you and keep my body from doing what it almost insists it needs to do", I sat beside her at the counter, unwilling to look into her eyes, afraid to face and admit my weaknesses to her.
"I know. I really do know, Edward. It's as if I keep needing more as well. Not that it isn't awesome, it's just that I need more. You need me to be your equal, a vampire, so that you can make love to me with no restrictions, no curbing your strength or power and with no time limits. I need to make love with you repeatedly, over and over again because I just can not seem to get enough. Carlisle says it's my pregnancy hormones, that some women get that way when they are pregnant, but Edward, I need you to make love with me now more than ever."
I just stared at her, dumbfounded. She talked to Carlisle about sex? That was so not like Bella, it must really be a need of hers if it was strong enough to make her go to Carlisle to discuss it.
"So, this talk of not being with me while I am pregnant . . . there is NO FUCKING WAY you are getting out of fucking me repeatedly, everyday."
I fell off my chair. Fell off my chair into the floor. Bella was laughing almost hysterically at me as she sat down on the floor beside me. I just laid there with my mouth agape.
"That's right Cullen. I said it", she said as she lifted her leg to straddle me, "I have rights to this", she said, gesturing to my body.
"Bella . . . we just can't, love! I'm still upset about attacking you upstairs this morning!"
"That was hot, sweetheart! I really really liked that and though we may have to tone it down just a bit as the pregnancy continues, right now I want some!"
"Bella, baby, I was literally pushing you across the bed with each thrust! I could hurt you, sweetheart!"
"Edward. Humans actually do that all the time, even I have seen that in movies! I think that's how you get rug burns, but I can't be sure!", she giggled as she said it.
She obviously had her mind set on this. She proved that to me when she suddenly scooted back, sitting further down on my thighs and took me into her mouth. She looked up at me with her eyes gleaming. I did the only thing I could and tried not to destroy the furniture within my reach, choosing to just clench my fists at my side as I lay there writhing on the floor by the kitchen.
I didn't dare touch her for fear of grabbing her too hard. Bella started to make love to me. I responded immediately, of course, she was my wife and I loved her. She barely noticed as I flipped her over, moving her to the huge rug in the center of the living room and kissing her passionately.
"Would you really like to see what they mean by rug burns, sweetheart, I mean, I don't want you to be deprived in any way of something that you want", I told her as I traced soft kisses down her neck. I nudged her legs open wider with my knee as I settled myself into my favorite spot between them. I rocked my hips a few times. and she was coming unglued, moaning and writhing beneath me as her heart rate sped up and her breathing became ragged. I took her her face I my hands and waited till she met my gaze, then I whispering in her ear that if she wanted me to do this, she had to remember to tell me if anything hurt her. She didn't say a word, I wasn't sure she could form words at that particular moment, but she nodded her head furiously up and down.
I took care to have my arms under her and my weight off of her so that she would slide more easily without hurting her skin. She loved it, her smile was glorious as she giggled and played with my hair. I repeated the action again and again as I took her there on the floor. I ended up crawling above her on all fours, my thrusts literally pushing her forward as we moved across the floor. We ended up in a tangled weave of arms and legs at the other end of the room. She lay stroking my hair and staring into my eyes, each of us having the same foolish grin on our faces like the teenagers we were.
"So we really are going to have a baby, Bella . . . we really are going to be a real family with a mom and a dad and a child", I whispered softly to her.
"Yes, we really are having a baby, sweetheart. I'm so glad you're okay with it, I was so worried."
"I just have to keep you safe, Bella. This means being human longer than just Christmas", I told her, "I will admit that I was actually looking forward to you're becoming a vampire and being a bit more . . . durable."
"Well, if I were more durable, Edward, we would have knocked the walls down here in Esme's house and I don't think she would have been happy about that! Besides, Carlisle thinks we will have the baby sometime in March, so it really isn't that far off".
The phone rang from across the room and we both jumped up at the same time and ran to grab it as though it were a race. I won, of course, grabbing it off the counter and running to jump over the back of the sofa and lie there as Bella tackled me and grabbed for it. I pressed the button to answer, not knowing who it could be as we continued to giggle and wrestle for it. She was so cute thinking she stood a single chance of taking the phone from me! I pulled her down on top of me on the sofa and brought the phone to my ear.
"Hello?", I laughed into the phone.
"Edward, what in the world! I'm putting you on speaker phone, we are all here at the hotel."
"Okay, Alice, I'll hit speaker as well."
"Well it seems as if you took the news well, you certainly sound happy, Edward!", Alice said.
"I haven't been given a choice, Alice. She is forcing herself on me", I said as Bella continued to claw and grab for the phone, naked on top of me.
"Can I come over and watch?", Emmett yelled into the phone. You could hear Rose smacking him even over the phone.
"No, you can not watch Emmett Cullen and I obviously can't force anything on him, even though I wish I could some times!", Bella added, still squirming.
"Congratulations to both of you", Rose added oh so softly.
"Thank you Rose and I hope you can brush up on your baby care skills, this baby will need lots of attention from its Aunt Rose. I know nothing about babies and I am going to need your help! Will you help me with it, Rosalie?", Bella asked.
"Of course, Bella . . . I'd love to", she replied. I could imagine her crying if it were possible. Bella asking her to help with the baby was the perfect thing to say to help Rose get through this.
"I can almost feel your emotions from here you guys are so happy, congratulations!", Jasper called into the phone.
"Thank all of you, really. Bella is trying to keep me from loosing it over here when she told me."
"Um hum. Yes . . . well, Bella, go take a swim in the ocean and then a shower . . . it will help the rug burns not to show up too badly and freak Edward out", Alice suggested.
Cat calls and laughter filled the phone coming from my siblings as Bella turned red with embarrassment.
"Enjoy it now, when you are a vampire, you will just make a trench in the floor!", Alice laughed.
Bella took all the ribbing from my family really well asking, "Are you having fun in Rio? Anything planned?"
"We are going on a hunting excursion this weekend. We have a boat hired and a map to find the anacondas that Emmett wants to try for dinner. It should be entertaining at the very least!", Rose said.
"Well thanks for the warm wishes and we love you guys! Call if you're coming over as I have declared it naked week and you probably don't want to see your brother naked!"
"Edward, you sure I can't come over there?", Emmett questioned, "I know I know, but I have to tell you that I am really glad you brought Bella into the family. She really makes things fun, Edward. Love you little sister!"
"Bye all!"
We decided to take a walk around the island, just to decide what we wanted to do tomorrow. I wasn't used to walking around naked, but for Bella, I guess I could adapt!