ok, so this chapter may seem a little cheesy in parts because i don't think i can get down the drama of how Simon is feeling without it being a little to much, but the song i was listening to at the time (the lyrics are in this chaper) kinda went with the story, that was pure accidental i had no idea it would be a significant part until i heard it playing on my sisters IPod while i was writing, it just clicked...anyways, i'm going to shut up now, please review, favorite, all that if you like this story and want me to contiune, trust me it's just starting to pick up.
As a note, i do not own The Mortal Instruments or any characters in this story, everything belongs to it's respectful owners and the song belongs to Andrew Belle and the poem in the beginning written by Bessie Rayner Parkes. Thanks for reading!
Sweet melody amidst the moving spheres
Breaks forth, a solemn and entrancing sound,
A harmony whereof the earth's green hills
Give but the faintest echo; yet is there
A music everywhere, and concert sweet!
All birds which sing amidst the forest deep
Till the flowers listen with unfolded bells;
All winds that murmur over summer grass,
Or curl the waves upon the pebbly shore;
Chiefly all earnest human voices rais'd
In charity and for the cause of truth,
Mingle together in one sacred chord,
And float, a grateful incense, up to God.
'Music'
by
Bessie Rayner Parkes
Simon threw his jacket on the old futon couch as he entered the apartment he shared with Jordon and most recently his sister, but Rebecca was also gone for awhile, on some nature tour of the country, she wouldn't be back for awhile, which was okay with Simon, he wasn't sure how he'd explain his situation to his sister anyways, he opened the fridge to see it pretty much bare other than a few oranges a half gallon of old milk and a half eaten sandwich, Simon made a face as he shuffled around to find the bottle of blood he had stashed in there.
He hated cold blood, but it was better than nothing, and he figured he had nothing else to do, mind as well gorge himself, maybe if he drank a large amount he'd be so high on the blood he would forget his pain.
Simon took a quick drink, and realized that would never happen, as he wiped his mouth on a dark green dish cloth he stood in front of the stove and gazed around the apartment as he recalled what he would tell his sister if she found out about his grief.
Oh by the way, Becky, not only am I a vampire but I had this on again off again dating relationship with this ultra-hot sexy Shadowhunter named Isabelle, but she got stabbed by Clary's evil demon brother while killing his evil demon minions, and died in my arms after confessing she loved me and I realized how much I loved her, just think of it as World of Warcraft meets Romeo and Juliet.
Simon chuckled to himself slowly, he could see that conversation going over well, with the remaining Shadowhunters having a fit if he told his very 'mundane' sister about them and their world, although she took his being a vampire particularly well, something he hadn't expected but hey, life throws lemons sometimes.
Simon sat down the bottle and twisted the cap around in his fingers as he reached over the turned on the radio, the familiar cheerful voice of the disc jockey came on talking about a song he was about o play, Simon left it on for the noise as he drifted off into thought, he thought of how much things had changed in shut a short time.
Jace had this strange angel fire in him, he wondered how he and Clary were handling that, Alec had broken up with Magnus, nobody had heard from him sense, Camille was dead by the hands of Maureen with whom Simon knew was his fault, and now Isabelle was gone…
The disc jockey spoke of the song he was about to play, Open Your Eyes by some guy named Andrew Bell, Simon wasn't sure he had ever heard of him, but as the tune began he knew he was in for a relapse.
He picked up the bottle again and took a large swig of blood as visions of Isabelle danced across his closed eyelids. As the opening of the song began…
Open your eyes now
Open your eyes now
It's time to see
If you can reach me
Open your eyes now
Open your eyes now
It's time to leave
It's time to leave me
Open your eyes now
Open your eyes now
It's time to see
If you still believe me
Open your life now
Open your life now
I'll try to be
All that you need me
To be…
It seemed only weeks ago, and it was only weeks ago that Isabelle, had kissed him and told him he wasn't nothing, had let him bite her, had thought he had died and hugged him in the sand after he had gotten the sword had whispered the words 'it's gone, your mark is gone…your no longer cursed…"
Simon slid down the stove front until he rested on the floor the bottle of blood fell from his hand spilling all over the press board as shudders went through him, he breathed heavy although he no longer needed to breath as the memories of her smile, her laugh, her hair, her scent and her blood pulsed through him, as he shuddered he felt the tears pour from his eyes, as his fangs bit deep into his bottom lip, as it always did when he grew upset or angry, or hungry or some of all three. He covered his face with his arms as the song blared loudly into his mind, not helping him at all, as he sobbed uncontrollably.
She'll be a star now
I will follow her lead
She'll be a scar now
I will still let her bleed
Open your eyes now
Open your eyes now
Try to speak
Like you can see me
Open your eyes now
Open your eyes now
I'll try to be
Almost everything
You need me to be
She'll be a star now
I will follow her lead
She'll be a scar now
I will still let her bleed
All over me…
Simon lifted his head to rest on his arms, as the shaking sobs slowed his face once again streaked red as was the floor, the scent of cold animal blood was all around him, but it did nothing to know the scent of her from his nose, everything about her, every memory of her poured into him like wild fire, the first time he drank her blood, it made his body sing with a heat he had never realized he could possess after becoming a vampire. The night at Magnus's apartment came to mind, her over him, her shower of black hair around them like the night sky, starless as her eyes shone dark brown, with the gold tunnels of light piercing through his unbeating heart like a knife.
He closed his eyes again as the memories played like a movie before him…
She'll be a star now
She'll be a scar now
She'll be a star now
She'll be a scar now
She'll be a star now
She'll be a scar now
She'll be a star now
She'll be a scar now
She'll be a star now
She'll be a scar now
She'll be a star now
She'll be a scar now
I will let her bleed
All over me…
All over me…
The words began to fade with the last memory, of Isabelle in his lap, covered with demon blood, her blood, and dirt from the abandoned alley they were in, he could see feel her cold hand upon his face, her cool lips on his still hear her soft words, as she told him, finally told him all she had felt, and it was too late.
I will always let you bleed all over me… he choked on the words he thought as he spoke them out loud to the fading light that came through the blinds. Simon looked up to the light, his face he could feel as sticky with his latest crying spell, the song didn't help it tugged at him, in worse way then he could ever comprehend the words hit home for him, and he hated how it did. He let the sun attempt to warm his face, as he knew that those words although sad, were true.
Simon would never forget her, and he knew he may never be able to go on, he would always follow her lead, wherever she may go, or have gone.
Standing up slowly, finding some form of strength in himself, Simon shut off the radio before another soul piercing song could stab at his cold heart, the words still echoing in his mind.
She'll be a star now
She'll be a scar now
I will let her bleed
All over me…
He wrapped his arms around himself as he shuffled toward his room, not bothering to pick up his feet, and not caring that he drug his feet across the floor leaving red streaks, he opened the door to his bare room and walked over to his bed, and plopped down on it.
He covered his face with his hands and drew them away, gazing down at the red of his blood filled tears. Simon clenched his hands into fists, as he gazed up at the bedside table and his eyes fell onto a photograph of her and himself, she was smiling and he was setting next to her, his arm around her casually, he remembered that day it was taken by Clary at Taki's awhile ago, Magnus and Alec sat across from them, Alec wore a unamused expression with his arms crossed as Magnus's face was filled with laughter, for Alec was wearing a goofy looking party hat.
Simon smiled weakly at the memory as he saw a smaller picture in the corner of it, of a Polaroid photo of all of them.
Magnus was doing bunny ears on Alec who held his party hat in hand and expression of that of an older brother as he looked next to him around Magnus at Isabelle who was kissing Simon's cheek, as Jace grinned holding Clary to his lap, as she held the camera in front of her, to snap the picture, their faces all filled with joy and laughter, one of the few good moments Simon remembered and wished would come back instead of just in his memory, he lifted the photograph off the table and covered Isabelle and Magnus's faces with his thumb, and frowned sadly.
Alec and his expressions fit with the current situation, a worried look clouded Alec's expression now, as Simon realized he wasn't looking at Izzy kissing his cheek, but at Magnus who was grinning at the camera, and Simon noted his own expression as of shock and a little short of a type of astonishment himself.
It's as if Alec and I somehow knew, our futures wouldn't turn out well… he thought, then taking note of both Jace and Clary seeming happy, but he knew even their happiness was limited as noting they could never touch each other like they had in the photo again.
Simon sighed and replaced it to its place by his bed, but this time he turned it away from him so he could no longer see the faces present, he didn't want to see it anymore.
Not caring to remove his shoes, he curled up on his bed and let memories take him over, that day so long ago at Taki's before Jace had been taken by Sebastian, before Magnus had gone, before Isabelle…
He couldn't bear thinking the word without choking on the lump developing in his throat as he thought about her. He shut his eyes tight the words to that song playing along with the memories he replayed in his mind, ones he never wanted to forget even if through the pain he would remember them, even if he had to every minute of the day.
Open your eyes now
Open your eyes now
Try to speak
Like you can see me
Open your eyes now
Open your eyes now
I'll try to be
Almost everything
You need me to be
She'll be a star now
I will follow her lead
She'll be a scar now
I will still let her bleed
All over me…
Simon shut his eyes so tight the blood of his tears spilled out over his lashes, as he held felt his hand begin to shake, he moved his hand toward the other side of his bed, and his hand grasped a familiar soft fabric, he opened his eyes slowly…
Open your eyes now
Open your eyes now
I'll try to be
Almost everything
You need me to be
He took in the familiar scent of her, as it came to his nose, as he grasped one of Isabelle's black and silver nightgowns one of the ones she had told him to keep there in case she ever needed it,
He remembered the night well…
"Just keep it here never know when I may need it, anyways, we're friends, and friends can leave clothes at other friends houses…" she grinned with a wink,
"Yeah, sure if that's what you call it." He replied with a smirk as he put his hands behind his head and watched her, Isabelle made a face and smacked him playfully on the leg closest to her.
"Ouch!" he protested as she smiled satisfied in his saying ouch, she walked over and sat on the bed and swung her long legs up under the covers and snuggled against him, Simon's arm went around her as if it belonged there.
She closed her eyes and breathed deep,
"Mmm."
"What?" Simon asked, a playful smirk on his face as he wondered why she was being so affectionate all a sudden, Isabelle was many things but affectionate was not one of them.
"Just thinking, somehow this feels right, but wrong at the same time…" she whispered sleepily, eyes still closed as he felt her body relax.
He chuckled, "How does that make any sense?"
She smirked, her mouth quivering, "Who cares if it does? Shut up, and let me sleep."
"Yes your highness."
She smiled with her eyes still closed, as Simon leaned over and kissed her forehead before turning out the light and also settling off to sleep,
"Goodnight, my Isabelle…" he whispered, knowing she hadn't heard him.
Holding onto the nightgown now, Simon gazed at it, taking in its texture with his fingers, as he drew it close, taking in the lingering scent of her, although he didn't cry, not this time the shudders still raked his body, as he knew he had nothing left to cry, no soul left to feel, as he surrendered to the numbness, as he held onto the nightgown and the last piece of the living Isabelle he had. The last piece he'd ever have, the last memory of her scent to remember to memory. Simon closed his eyes again, the scent filled his senses, and it relaxed him, it was almost as if she were in the room with him, he held the nightgown in his shaking arms, and willed himself to relax, even if for only awhile…
She'll be a star now
I will follow her lead
She'll be a scar now
I will still let her bleed
All over me…
"I will follow you, Isabelle, I will find a way…I will meet you in the milky stars, I will see your face once again, I will never give up on seeing you again…being immortal means, my love for you will never die, this is goodbye Isabelle Lightwood, my Shadowhunter, my beauty in the dark, my light of the tunnel, my star… forever the scar that is on my heart."
Simon whispered the words, as he let the dark take him, into the world of sleeping.
so like i said, cheesy right? yeah, i think so too...sooo, i think right after this is where things begin to move forward and the beginning of the plot is coming up, it'll change everyones lives, oh and if your a Magnus fan (like me! lol) expect an apperance from him very soon! Remember, review even if it's just a 'i like this' or a 'you need to change that' or 'maybe you should do blah blah' give me some feedback. Thanks!