Disclaimer: still nothing but the plot guys!

Ch. 20

This control she was beginning to have over me was starting to become ridiculous, not that it hadn't been from the beginning.

I sat in my bed, wondering what had come over me a few hours ago. I had been in the Great Hall with Hermione, trying to come up with a blueprint for the stupid winter ball when she had complained that I wasn't helping. Granted, I had been resting, almost falling asleep with my head resting against the table, so I didn't blame her. However, she hadn't expected me to draw something for her. I recalled the image in my head of her face when I had given back my sketches on the blueprint. Her face was flushed with disbelief, her eyes widening at the fact that I had actually done something worthy of her approval. Impressing her was starting to become increasingly easy.

And then I had called her my friend.

My friend.

And I hadn't regretted it.

It was a comfortable thing to do, see her as my friend. I knew that was weird of me, and especially unexpected, but what was I supposed to do? I couldn't just very well give up these feelings that I couldn't even decipher for her, or just ignore it, or her. We had agreed to work on these problems together, and we had been for a few weeks. Although we hadn't really found anything valuable to our issue, we had spent a lot of time talking. It was to the point that we could talk about almost anything if we really got into intense discussion.

Almost anything.

She had no problem mentioning her personal life at times, her parents, her friends, and rarely, issues with herself. She had a few of her own that for some reason, she felt that she could trust me enough to share. I knew I should be honest with her as well, but at that same time, why would she want to hear a sad little story about the life of a boy with an unmerciful death eater father and a helpless mother? I doubt that would help our little project at all. I looked over to my book shelf where 'The Whispers of the Night' lay. She had lent it to me to see if I could find anything interesting. I hadn't even looked at it.

The stupid winter ball wasn't contributing much either.

VVVVV

It was Hogsmeade weekend, which meant that today I would be out with Ginny, Parvati, Padma, Lavender, and Luna, looking at dresses for the upcoming Winter Ball. I looked at the clock on my bedside table.

It was time for breakfast.

After a quick shower, I decided to head down to the Great Hall. The common room was empty as I passed through it, so I walked to breakfast alone. It wasn't such a bad thing really, having some time alone. Lately, I had been plagued with work, and issues. I was spending a lot of time with Draco, and I hadn't really been talking to many of my friends. Ron and I hadn't said but about two sentences to each other this past week, especially since he had seen me and Dean talking in the hallway, and Harry and Ginny were too in love with one another to notice our problems. No matter how many times I had tried to tell myself that I would ignore Ron when he acted like this, I could never succeed in doing it. I went down the stairs and –

Well speak of the devil himself.

Near the entrance of the Great Hall, Ron himself leaned against the wall, surrounded by four girls. I noticed two of them, Emily Brisbrook, a giggly, redheaded seventh year Hufflepuff, and Sylvia Remsen, a seventh year Ravenclaw with dark, almost black hair, and bright blue eyes. The other two girls were blonde and brunette, and they leaned in on Ron, catching his every word. It was obvious that he was trying to be nonchalant about everything, but if anyone knew him as well as I did, he was inwardly relishing at the fact that he was surrounded by pretty, flirtatious girls. I watched as Sylvia placed a dainty hand on his arm and laughed.

As much as I didn't want to admit it, it hurt me to watch him flirt back with those girls, who were obviously desperate for a date to the ball. If I just stayed there I would be late to meeting the rest of the girls. I took a deep breath and calmed myself, before I walked past them. I didn't even bother to look at them. I wouldn't show him that I cared.

I would try, at least.

VVVVV

Blaise had basically had to drag me out of Hogwarts to get me to go to Hogsmeade with him. No matter how I had insisted that I was getting sick, he didn't tolerate my bullshit. He insisted that we weren't spending time with one another, and that he had loads to tell me.

So now we were in Hogsmeade, looking at broom wax and clippers.

"So what was so important that you had to drag me out of my nice warm bed?" I asked him, examining a pair of broom clippers that I wanted to buy.

Blaise chuckled. "Oh nothing really", he smirked, "I just wanted you to get out of the castle for once Drakey-poo."

I smacked him upside the head with the clippers and he winced.

"Don't ever call me that again. And you better have some news, or then I'll really hurt you."

"Well I asked Millicent Bulstrode to the ball and she said yes." He mused.

I burst out laughing, something I felt I hadn't done properly in a while. Blaise had always had a thing for poking fun at Millicent, as we all did, but he did it because she clearly had an enormous crush on him, and it had stayed with her since third year. After we finished laughing I managed to speak again.

"Honestly though, who did you ask?" I asked him.

He paused for a moment, toying with the tin of wax he held in his hand.

"Daphne Greengrass", he murmured. I nodded slightly. I approved.

Daphne was a well liked, pretty girl in our year. She was a Slytherin, with long, honey brown spiraling curls and an amazing figure. Daphne wasn't the problem at all. Blaise could get any girl he wanted, whenever he wanted. The problem was the only the girl he had ever wanted was Tracey Davis. He had gotten her alright, and they had stayed together for almost a year, making her the longest girlfriend that he had ever had. He had even confessed to me that he could've possibly been in love with her, and even though he wouldn't fully admit it, I knew he had been, and still was.

"And she said yes?"

"Of course she did!" Blaise said indignantly, as if I had hurt his pride. There was an awkward silence, as thoughts went unsaid. He was the first one to talk again.

"Have you found anyone yet?"

"Nope."

I hadn't really planned on asking anyone either. Quite frankly, I didn't care enough.

"I know Pansy's dying to go with you." He replied, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

We all knew that. Pansy was certainly beautiful, one of the most beautiful girls in school probably, but I couldn't bring myself to ask her. It was her damned personality, and the fact that her clinginess killed her attractiveness.

"We aren't even talking Blaise."

It was the truth. Pansy and I hadn't talked since I had almost yelled out Hermione's name under Pansy's advances, causing me to throw her off of my lap and bound towards my room. I had ended up telling Blaise about it, naturally. I hadn't wanted to, but he was my best friend, and I had had to tell someone about it. I told Blaise almost everything, because he was too busy with his own problems to judge and make fun of mine.

One of the things he didn't know was that I was frequently meeting up with Hermione to discuss our little problem, and much more. It would be the elephant in the room if I discussed it with him.

That he would pay attention to.

"Well you should take her anyways. You haven't been talking to any girls for a while, and I think a date would be good for you. Plus, Pansy is always at your beck and call. You probably wouldn't even have to ask her. All you would have to do is show up at her door." He suggested.

I shrugged and told him that I would think about it.

I had other girls on my mind besides Pansy.

Girls, a certain girl, rather, that was actually beginning to matter to me.

VVVVV

"Does this dress make me look fat?" Parvati asked us, as she stepped out of her dressing booth at Marcie's Magical Dresses and Dress Robes. She was dressed in a strapless, fitted red bandage dress, which made her figure look amazing. I opened my mouth in shock, as did the other girls, amazed that she could even suggest such a thing.

"Are you kidding me?" Lavender exclaimed, "You look freaking amazing!"

Parvati blushed at the compliment and turned to see her sister, Padma, exit her changing room. She too, looked stunning. Her dress was also strapless, but with a chiffon skirt, and a deep purple, so deep that when it caught the light it almost turned indigo. She looked ravishing.

"Wait till Ernie see's you, Padma!" Luna exclaimed, making Padma smile widely. She and Ernie Macmillan had been romantically linked for a few weeks, and he had decided to ask her to the dance. All of the girls had a feeling that he would ask her out officially at the ball. Parvati was going with seventh year Ravenclaw Terry Boot, and Lavender with Seamus. Luna was the only one without a romantic date, but she said that suited her just fine. She wanted someone that could accept her fully, and if they couldn't she plainly just didn't care. I admired Luna. She never let anything or anyone stop her, regardless. We had tried to set her up with many boys in the past, and even for the ball, but she shook her head defiantly, and said,

"If I can't find a guy that can handle me, I'm perfectly fine handling myself."

Of course, she was shopping for a dress with us because she had been asked to the ball. Neville was taking her, as friends. Everyone knew that the two were inseparable, best friends since they had met in Dumbledore's Army two years ago. They were perfect for one another, and even they could see that. I think that they were just too scared of ruining their friendship in trade for a relationship. But wasn't there a saying that said best friends made the best lovers?

Whether I liked it or not, I couldn't help but relate Ron to that saying.

"Well I think I've found my dress", Ginny said, holding up a light, cream colored dress with a puffed skirt and black lace trimming around the breast and waistline. "What about you Hermione?"

All of the girls looked at me, all except for Lavender who was scanning racks of dresses. "No" I said mournfully. I had tried on a few things. I had tried a tight, strapless, pink dress that clashed against my skin tone and hair color so horribly I couldn't even look at it, a black, silky baby doll dress that had seemed to plain, then I had tried it in white and it looked like a Halloween costume, and finally, a ruby red dress that had been the best out of all of them. It had halter straps with a heart shaped breast cut, an empire waist, and a loose skirt that ended right before my knees. It looked good, but I was confident that it would look even better on someone else.

"Hold it!" Lavender called out, emerging from the racks with two dresses. They were looped around her arm so that I couldn't really see the designs. One was silver, and the other a pretty, calm, sage green. She handed me the green one. "Try this one. I think it would do you justice." She smiled, before walking into a changing room of her own. The other girls went off into another section of the store, helping Luna look for a dress. Alone, with only the sound of Lavender's dress swishing softly as she tried it on, I held the bundle fabric in my hands.

'Please let this be the one.' I sighed inwardly, and walked into my changing room.

I wanted to see it as a surprise, so I tried not to look so much at the detail of the dress. It was long, and flowing, and the color was very pretty. I zipped it up in the back and decided to use one of the larger mirrors outside of the changing booth, so that I could see myself fully in the dress. Lavender was still in her changing room, probably trying to make her boobs look bigger than they already were in the dress. I smiled and shook my head, going over to large mirror by the mannequins, which unfortunately stood by the large store window. Not only would I see myself in the dress, but anyone that happened to pass by would too. I adjusted the dress a bit more before looking at myself. I was unsure and self conscious. However, when I looked into the mirror, the Hermione I saw gave me different feelings.

The dress made me look and feel positively stunning. The sage green matched perfectly against my skin tone and hair color, and almost made my skin glow. The dress was made out of soft, flowing silk chiffon and had an empire waist, with an almost diamond-like embroidered trim around the waist that lead to medium over the shoulder straps that crossed at the back. It also draped around the hips, giving the dress the look of a Grecian goddess. This was it. This was the dress. It fitted me perfectly, and I could feel it give me a giant confidence boost. Who knew that some simple piece of fabric could make you feel so much better about yourself? I didn't. I went to hold back my hair so that I could see the detail of the straps, when I caught another image besides myself in the mirror.

Outside the window, his reflection prominent in my mirror stood Ron, staring at me with a somewhat melancholy look on his face and a tightened jaw. I went to pretend like I hadn't seen him, but when I looked at his figure in the mirror again, our eyes met. Letting my hair slip out of my hands, I turned to him, and took a few steps toward the window. He didn't make a run for it, as I had thought he would, but instead, he just stood there, his mouth slightly agape as he looked at my towering form through the glass. He promptly closed his mouth when he caught the look on my face. I suppose I looked a bit mad.

More like fuming.

I didn't know how long he had been standing there for, but it irked me. After not talking to me for his stupid reasons, he thought he had the right to gape at me like I was a piece of meat? I wasn't his. Then again, I didn't really know how to feel. The look in his eyes towards me had actually touched me. I didn't know why, but it felt as if he regretted it. I knew Ron, and I was extremely talented when it came to deciphering his emotions through his eyes. Besides that, he wore his heart on his sleeve. Did he expect me to do that too? Did he expect me to wear my heart on my sleeve for him? I knew that regretful look as well as I knew 'Hogwarts: A history'. Only this time, it was mixed with more emotions than usual. In what seemed like a minute, I saw his emotions flash from regretful, to sad, to angry. I was tired of this. After a few more moments of taking me in, he sighed, shook his head slightly, and walked away from the window. Needless to say, I watched him walk away, until I couldn't see him any longer.

Had I upset him?

It was amazing really, how he could make me feel so many things for him with just one look in my direction. I was sick of it. I wished I could say that I was sick of him. But I could never say that about my best friend. I certainly couldn't say that about him.

He was Ron, Ronald Weasley, one of the people I most trusted and loved.

But wasn't that the problem?

I loved him.

I just didn't know in what way yet.

And thinking about it was making things even more complicated.

VVVV

Hey guys! So this has been a pretty long chapter! The ball is coming up very soon, so be ready for some drama! Also, there will be some more Dramione before that! Thanks for reading and please feel free to review or give me constructive criticism! Ideas are also welcomed! Much love to you all!